


Curved Reality: What If

by adcgordon



Series: Curved Reality: In an Alternate Universe [4]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012), Felicity Smoak - Fandom, Oliver Queen - Fandom, olicity - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Based on a Stemily prompt, Dallas is Oliver and Laurel's daughter, Drama, F/M, Infidelity based on unhappy marriage, Oliver and Felicity are actors who work(ed) together, Oliver and Felicity are lovers, Oliver and Felicity are soulmates, Oliver and Laurel's marriage has been over for a while, Oliver is married to Laurel but in love with Felicity, Ray is one of Felicity's bff's
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-23
Updated: 2019-10-22
Packaged: 2020-10-26 21:33:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 27
Words: 98,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20749097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adcgordon/pseuds/adcgordon
Summary: Oliver Queen is an actor in an unhappy marriage who has fallen in love with his costar Felicity Smoak. With their show ending, Felicity is already making her break and trying to move forward.  Oliver hasn't reached that point yet... So can their love overcome the distance and the curves they face in the separation?The one thing they both know and can't forget... They are soulmates.





	1. Chapter 1 - Proglogue

**Author's Note:**

> A huge thank you to two very special people, @OliversMuse and @1_Robin_3 along with my other 'sister wives' who have encouraged me to keep going on this story! 
> 
> Now as many of you may already know...this is NOT a Stemily fic, but they did spur my imagination for this story. 
> 
> Two trigger warnings:
> 
> 1) If you cannot handle infidelity then do not read this. Oliver's character is not happy in his marriage and has not been sexually active with his wife for quite some time. Some people cannot handle any type of infidelity and I respect that.
> 
> 2) If you feel anything Stemily related is not your thing then do not read this. Again, this is Oliver and Felicity but the story is loosely based on Stemily.
> 
> I don't like to moderate comments on my stories because you readers are so very amazing. So again, if this it not your cup of tea, if you don't like it, if you feel it hits too close to home, please just quit reading it. I don't want or need a critique of my imagination.
> 
> If you do read and enjoy it please leave kudos and comments. I will do my best to answer each one.
> 
> Enjoy!!!
> 
> (See the end of the work for other works similar to this one.)

** **

**Curved Reality: Prologue**

**What If – Chapter 1**

* * *

She sat on the couch in the trailer on the studio lot feeling quite nervous, a little jittery, with thoughts of what she was going to say rolling through her mind – as they had been for the past 48 hours. When she and Ray had landed in Vancouver she made up her mind that she couldn’t continue as she had over the past year. The time out of the country had been amazing. The work on other projects had been lifelong dreams come true. But the parts of her psyche that were still struggling with torment, threats and sadness had to go. 

Felicity had to see Oliver. Their conversation, a real one that would include strong words, hurt feelings and overall truth, had to happen now.

\-----

John knew Felicity was there. He was the one she trusted on this matter. She knew he wouldn’t throw her under the bus or rat her out. He had been on their side from the beginning and had taken Felicity’s side when she explained to him – a year prior – about her decisions. 

_John told her then that she needed to take more time and think things out; she needed to talk to Oliver. Her tears told him that wouldn’t happen because she was determined to stick with her plans without his input._

_John had hugged her with the bear hug that told her he would support her no matter what. But he again whispered into her conflicted soul, “Don’t make a hasty decision, Lici. Talk to Oliver.”_

_As expected, and much to John’s disappointment, she followed through on her plans, trying to wrap things up without tying up the proverbial loose ends. And as she walked away from 7 years of her life she was left with foreseeable knots and a lot of time to think about hindsight._

\-----

It had been a mental struggle. She had lived with that mental struggle. Oliver had lived with that mental struggle – especially now that the new season’s shooting schedule was on track, without Felicity. 

John handled their hardships much like an older sibling to both. He had kept quiet until the day they both contacted him with breakdowns. The muscular African-American man ended the second call with wide eyes and a shake of his head realizing his dear friends still had a connection that wasn’t about to disappear any time soon.

That’s the day he had made a follow-up call to Felicity and backtracked his words, telling her that her earlier decisions “sucked” and it was time for _her_ to pull her head out of her ass and come to grips with reality. 

The tables were turned. Felicity had been dumbfounded by John’s forwardness and yet she remembered giving him and Oliver very similar lectures over the past decade. She had laughed, with tears in her eyes as she thought about his words. She knew she was due for the returned _favor_. 

She had received it.

\------

For that reason, she now sat here replaying that conversation; replaying her week of conversations with two other close friends; and running lines through her head that sounded very similar to ones her previous character had spoken. Only on this occasion no one had written them for her and no rehearsals would allow her to see her co-star’s reaction to her words – until she actually said them.

When the key turned in the door Felicity stood up. The last time she had been in this trailer, sitting on that couch, had been the day she told Oliver she wasn’t returning for season number 8. 

\-----

_“I thought you were wrapped for the day,” Oliver was pleasantly surprised to find Felicity sitting in his trailer when he came to simply get a drink and freshen up before his next scene. Her visits to his trailer had become pretty rare this season so seeing her there was a true treat._

_He smiled until she stood up somewhat nervously, faced him and held out a folded piece of paper._

_“What’s this,” Oliver had taken it from her curiously and looked at her face that suddenly looked like the young, nervous woman who had poked her head into the green room some 7 years before._

_Felicity didn’t say a word. She watched him unfold the paper and held her breath as his eyes scanned the words._

_Oliver read through it once and looked up at her pressing his lips together. “Lis, what is this?”_

_She shook her head trying her best not to let tears form in her eyes. She waited for him to read through it again._

_‘The time has come to talk of many memes._

_Of bows and arrows and superheroes_

_And Archers and Kings_

_And why TA is so damn hot_

_And yes, canaries deserve more scenes… But wait…’_

_Oliver’s eyes dropped further down the page trying to speed read her handwriting and yet not wanting to read any of it for a second time._

_‘Overwatch and I are a very tight two_

_But after one through seven_

_We will be saying goodbye to you’_

_Oliver looked at her again and shook his head with a simple, “No.”_

_Felicity took a deep breath and looked at him. “That’s what I’m gonna put on my Insta account…to let everyone know… I – I just needed to let you know first.”_

_“Let me know what, Felicity?” Oliver took a deep breath, turned his back on her and simply refolded the paper._

_She was happy he hadn’t wadded it up and thrown it across the trailer at her._

_“I’m not re-signing for season 8, Oliver,” she breathed in shallowly, “I just can’t.”_

_“Why not?” He asked with his back still turned and arms crossed across his chest._

_“Patrick’s got a lead on an off-Broadway theater where we can take our play this summer. And I’ve had a couple of movie offers. I just think these are opportunities that I can’t pass…”_

_“Bullshit.”_

_“I’m sorry, what?” Felicity felt the tears beginning to run down her face. She had to admit that wasn’t a reaction she had expected from him._

_“That’s bullshit and we both know it.” He turned back around to face her showing her the tears in his own eyes. “This is me, Felicity. This is me and you standing here alone together. Tell me the truth. No excuses. Why won’t you come back?”_

_They had argued with Felicity trying her very best not to give him the truth she had sworn to keep to herself. She vaguely remembered mentioning his marriage. She recalled trying to walk out and him grabbing her by the arm. Her nails had dug into his hand trying to pry herself loose as they both stood staring at each other and crying._

_“Please, Oliver, just let me go. Don’t ask me anything else, please.” She took a deep breath and then offered, “If you’ll just let this go...we can meet, one more time, just us, somewhere for one night. But please don’t ask me anything more.”_

_When he had finally conceded and let go of her arm Oliver ignored her request and asked her one question in a voice barely above a whisper, “What about us?”_

_To which she had cried and let go of the real pain in her heart. “What about us, Oliver? You have a wife, you have a beautiful daughter, and any hint of you trying to break away from your family will cause Laurel to take Dali completely away from you. There CAN’T BE an us. We both know that. We’ve pretended and we’ve had fun and we’ve become so much more than best friends… But you and I both know there isn’t an us and there CAN’T be.”_

_He was stunned and heartbroken on so many levels. As she walked out the door, he tried to make sense of the entire conversation. Of the words he had heard over that past unacceptable hour there was only one thing he understood: _

_Felicity was out and no matter what he said her decision was made...she would not return to their show._

\-----

Now here she was again, practically a year later.

Oliver stepped into the trailer, eyes on the floor, head down. Felicity knew immediately what that meant. He wasn’t nailing his lines and the show recording wasn’t going like he wanted.

Maybe she could soothe him somewhat, like she used to. A hug, a kiss, cuddles on the couch… she could rub her fingers through his short beard and give him a feeling of reassurance that it was just a bad patch and he would get through it.

On second thought…or third…or fiftieth…that’s not what she was here for and she likely couldn’t just wrap him in her arms at this moment – or could she?

“Hi,” she offered quietly before he got too much farther without realizing he had company.

Oliver’s head jerked up at the sound of her voice – _her _voice – and stopped in his tracks. His leather-clad superhero persona searched her eyes for just a split second before quickly taking the additional three steps that it took to reach her. In his full Archer outfit he wrapped his arms around her and picked her smaller body up from the ground as he buried his face into the crook of her neck.

“Felicity,” he breathed her name against her skin and placed soft kisses, welcoming the feel of her in his arms again.

She hesitantly but instinctively wrapped her arms around his shoulders easily pressing her fingers against the broad muscles and relishing the feeling of being in his arms. _God, she had missed the feeling of being held by this man._

He lowered her feet back to the floor but didn’t relinquish his hold. Nor did he remove his face from the spot where he felt completely at home. She, too, held her stance. Even in this what-should-be-awkward meeting, neither was anywhere near ready to let go.

But after another minute, Oliver took a long, shaky, deep breath, raised his head and stepped back. Felicity looked into his eyes filled with uncertainty and waited.

Oliver again took a breath and held it. He crossed his arms over his chest and did his best to forget her scent that was once again invading his mind. He looked down at the floor just to break her gaze and spread his feet apart on the trailer floor to steady and brace himself.

When he looked back at her face she knew he had gone into ‘actor’ mode and was waiting to see what she said, trying not to give away his true feelings. “What are you doing here?” He finally asked with an appearance saying he really wasn’t sure he wanted to know.

Felicity held his gaze. She wasn’t smiling; she wasn’t crying – although the streaks on her cheeks told him she had been; she looked almost stoic standing there with arms at her side, her thumbs flicking at her short fingernails on both hands.

This was it and she knew it. This was the point where she needed to bare her soul to him if she wanted her life to truly continue. It was time to tell him the truth and face the consequences.

She licked the dryness from her lips and took a deep breath. She took a large step toward him but didn’t reach her hands to him. Instead she stood up straighter and matched his feet-spread-for stability stance. Felicity turned her chin upwards to make sure they were seeing eye to eye. She squinted slightly and opened her mouth to speak.

“I’ve come to a conclusion that could change both of our lives,” she began.

Oliver’s voice dropped an octave as they stared, unsmiling, at each other. “And that is?” He waited.

Felicity blinked and sucked in a shaky breath. “I want to come back,” she hesitated for just a second. “I want to be in the series finale, with you. I want Overwatch and Archer and their happily ever after.” 

She stalled again, a short but pregnant pause before continuing, “And,” she looked at his fingers, curled into fists on his crossed arms across his chest. She took the chance reaching both of her hands to his exposed forearm and gripped tightly. “I want _you_,” she spoke in a most pleading voice. “ I want Dali. I want…” she breathed in again, holding her lips open as she formed her thought, “…us.” 

* * *

**What If – Chapter 1 - Prologue**


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time apart...a convention spent with friends but filled with stress and anxiety for two people who are torn between each other and circumstances.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Smut warning... this chapter has explicit sexual content**
> 
> Also...a little character profile/back story of sorts... In my head, Ray has a British accent. And, he's not necessarily the tech genius, but more of a 'let's go hiking and hang out' kind of guy. He has been one of Felicity's best friends since they were teens, at least, and knows pretty much everything about her. I debated, from the list of Arrow characters, which would be the best fit. It came down to Tommy, Ray and Roy. I opted to go with Ray bc he and Felicity DID have a romantic tie on the show. I hope you won't hate him the way he is introduced in this chapter, but I'll leave you to make your own decisions on that!
> 
> And now...What If - Chapter Two: Welcome to London Con

** **

**Curved Reality:**

**What If – Chapter 2**

* * *

** _4-5 Months Prior…_ **

The day had been extremely long but not as hard as Felicity had recalled. Compared to a 14-hour day on set, the 9AM-6PM gig of signing autographs and smiling for pictures with fans honestly wasn’t bad at all. Plus, she would admit, being back with Oliver and John was fun. 

She wrapped a towel around her as she stepped out of the shower and looked again at her choice of dress for the evening. There really wasn’t a lot of material to the top portion of the off-the-shoulder number. She laughed remembering that she ‘stole’ it from their sister show’s wardrobe department, telling them Overwatch would wear it for Archer someday on her own show.

Now, she was about to wear it as she and Ray Palmer headed out to dinner. That was something she had promised him when he agreed to travel with her and be her backup anxiety suppressor during the all-day meet and greet. He had kept his part of the promise. She fully intended to keep hers as well. Wearing this sexy little number would just be another way she could boost her self confidence.

There was also a small piece of her that hoped Ray might be impressed by, and take advantage of how she looked in this dress. She knew he was interested in her as more than a best friend. That was obvious. She felt she could learn to be more than a _bff_ for him as well.

He was the one she had turned to over the past six months when it seemed like everything else in her world was going to hell. He was the one actually thinking and offering suggestions – and not just ones that made Felicity happy – about her life and her future.

At no point had Ray tried to take advantage of her situation, her confusion. Instead he was trying to upright her world and help her find a way to maneuver through to the other side. 

As a matter of fact, Felicity thought for a moment as she tucked in the towel and started brushing out her wet hair, she was already imagining them returning from dinner, and Ray helping her out of the dress to the tune of her sharing her growing feelings for him.

Felicity blushed as she looked in the mirror. Was that the truth? She didn’t want to lie to him. She didn’t want to lead him on. They had shared sex together but neither had ever attempted to forge a further relationship besides their long-term friendship.

She bit her lip as she thought about it and her heartbeat sped up. Ray could be a complete change from the so-called relationship she had had for the past few years. She had to close her eyes to try and ward off the memories that continuously flooded her mind. Could she even consider _that_ a relationship when it included a married man with blessings from his wife _until_ it didn’t meet _her_ needs?

Felicity held her breath. This is not what she wanted to think about right now. Her anger toward _Mrs. Queen_ and some at Oliver clouded nearly every alone moment she had had for the past six months. She was also angry at herself. Ray had helped her reach that conclusion. She was still in a phase of wondering just how, why and when she had allowed herself to think that being involved with a married man was a smart life decision.

She breathed out. She opened her eyes. A few more breaths and she continued brushing her hair. She was not going to have this argument with herself. Not right now.

The knock on the bathroom door startled her slightly. It was actually a welcomed interruption, pulling her mind back to the evening plans.

“Felicity?”

She smiled. She loved hearing Ray say her name. He seemed to skip the last ‘i'. For a split second it reminded her of Dali’s little voice calling her Aunt Lis-ty. Her smile wavered but her mind was drawn back to the present with another soft rap from Ray’s knuckle on the door.

“Yeah… Yeah, Raymond, I’m out of the shower. I’ll be ready in a bit.”

“I’ve got reservations at 9 at Rules. Does that sound alright? How dressy do I need to be?”

Felicity smiled again. He was SO a t-shirt and jeans kind of guy.

“Didn’t you bring your tux?” she jabbed slightly.

“Now don’t you even start. You know I didn’t even bring a jacket. You told me one nice shirt and a pair of slacks would be the extent of our dressing up on this trip. Otherwise I wouldn’t have brought my suitcase at all.”

“You would be content running around in the same shirt and shorts for a week…with no underwear. I’m not hanging out with you and certainly not sleeping with you without some kind of clothing guidelines.”

She paused…she threw out the line about sleeping with him because they were currently in a hotel room together with one king-sized bed. They had _slept together_ last night but it wasn’t something that would necessarily happen on a regular basis during their adventure…or would it?

_Damn it…_ she chastised herself.

“Aw, come now,” Ray’s tone appeared to be ignoring her slight faux pas. “I thought you liked my 5-day old musky scent.”

Felicity breathed out and smiled. She did adore this man. “Musky is _not_ the word I would use…”

“Well, Love, you know I’ve showered tonight…you know I did _not_ bring a tuxedo, nor have I rented one. But we do have dinner reservations and I’m just guessing you’d like me to wear something besides a t-shirt and my swim trunks.”

She glanced back at her dress. “Did you bring a tie?”

Ray rolled his eyes outside the door of the bathroom and took a deep breath. With a slight shake of his head he answered. “Yes, I brought one.”

“Dress shirt, with a tie, slacks…and please tell me you packed dress shoes and dress socks?”

Ray gave her an emphasized sigh. “Yes Dear, I brought dress shoes and socks.”

“_Dress_ socks? White socks with dress shoes is just tacky, Ray.”

“Yes, Dear,” his joking sarcastic tone was quite evident.

“Good,” she responded with a smile at his teasing. “Love you, Mr. Palmer,” she kissed the air loudly sending him her endearment through the door.

“Yeah, yeah… Whatever,” he answered in response. She also heard him sigh loudly as he walked away from the door.

_God I hate wearing a tie...but for her, I will._

_\-----_

In another half hour Felicity emerged from the bedroom dressed in the black dress that appeared to be woven sexily onto her body. Ray looked at the dress, the gaps between the horizontal strips fully showing her skin and even exposing hints of her breasts made him practically gasp at first sight. That didn’t even include her naked shoulders, her now reddish tresses flowing down over her shoulders and her eyes enlightened by the gentle blue contacts she chose to wear. 

He looked at her from head to toe and lingered on the three-inch black heels that pumped her calf muscles to a form that sent his mind reeling in a very impure direction.

“My God, Felicity,” his eyes slowly found their way back to hers, “You…look…ravishing.” He held her gaze and gave her no hint of a smile.

Felicity took that as a good thing, going along with her thoughts and plans to move this relationship further tonight. She took a moment to turn for him, revealing the quite revealing back of the dress as well.

Ray stepped toward her and put a hesitant hand on her shoulder.

“Is this okay?” She asked shyly. With her heels she still couldn’t completely look him in the eyes. She bit her lip in that coy way that made him suck in a breath until she spoke again. “I brought this dress hoping I’d get the courage to wear it…for you.”

Ray’s breath was shaky when he let it back out again. Felicity placed a hand on his chest and looked at it, her creamy skin on the smoky gray, crisply pressed shirt that he had donned. She moved her fingers over to the tie he had chosen – black with muted hearts and arrows spattered on it. It was a tie that she had bought for him years before.

Before he could find words to say she leaned back and looked at the rest of his attire. The black dress pants had also been freshly pressed, thanks apparently to their wonderful concierge, and his black thin stringed dress shoes were perfect.

He noticed her looking him over and quickly pulled up a pant leg. “The damn socks are navy. I’m sorry. I thought I grabbed black but…”

Felicity moved her hand to his not so cleanly-shaven chin and forced him to look at her. As quickly as he did she moved her lips to his and kissed him soundly.

Her eyes closed as she loosely wound her arms around his neck and crossed her wrists to help steady her. And when she felt his hands more firmly on her waist she knew he was steadying himself.

They kissed, meaningfully, the hint of desire and feelings truly beginning to build between them, for several moments. And when Felicity sighed, hummed against his mouth and rested her forehead on his, Ray opened his eyes and smiled.

“That was nice,” he whispered with a boyish grin.

Felicity laughed once through her nose. She opened her eyes and looked at him before tilting her head slightly with their foreheads still pressed together. “I dress like this…I kiss you…and you tell me it was nice?”

She leaned back and shook her head at the blushing grin on his face.

“I’m just a little,” Ray let his fingers brush down her arms and looked at her attire again, “I’m at a loss for words. You wanted to wear this dress for me? And that kiss? Felicity?”

She swallowed a bit roughly and pressed her lips together knowing her lipstick was now smudged. She stepped toward the end table, by the couch where her clutch was sitting. As she picked it up she tapped it against her opposite hand and looked back at him standing there.

“Ray, you have been the friend I’ve needed over the past half year. You’ve been here as my world fell apart and you’ve encouraged me to pick up the pieces. You’ve told me that I have a much longer road ahead of me and assured me that the future, _my_ future, is still a journey that I want to take. Only a friend who loves me would’ve been here like this for me. I’ve listened to you. I promise I have. And I believe you’re right. It’s time for me to move forward and move on. I want to do that with you.”

He looked at her with pure love in his eyes and heard every word she said. His heart told him to rush to her, pick her up, swing her around and stay right there in that hotel room with her, pushing the future that included the two of them to the forefront.

But his mind held his feet to the floor with a tentative smile on his face, letting her thoughts sink into his brain. This wasn’t his Felicity for the taking. This was his friend Felicity who was deciding to take those baby steps to move forward and get on with her life; the Felicity who still needed him and wanted him to be there for her.

“Ray?” she wondered as she watched his reaction.

He smiled at her and held out his hand for her to come to him. When she did he pulled her fingers to his lips and kissed them softly. “I do love you,” he agreed with her. “I want to move forward with you as well. But I want you to be sure. I don’t want us to rush anything. I’m not going anywhere; I’m not going to run away from you. But I don’t want to rush.”

She let him give her another quick kiss on the lips before he tilted his chin up toward the door. “Now, I’m not ignoring a word you just said, or the way you are dressed, or the fact that you got me into a tie and dress shoes. You know I would gladly stay right here, get out of these clothes and order room service. _But_…You wanted reservations to eat out. So…” He held his hand out in front of them and bowed, pointing her toward the door.

Felicity smiled. “Thank you,” she offered simply.

Ray rolled his eyes and rolled his tongue around in his mouth. As they stepped into the hallway and he made sure their door locked behind them he leaned toward Felicity’s ear. “Perhaps,” he spoke lowly, “You can think of a _way_ to thank me more after dessert?”

He raised his eyebrows in a slightly pleading fashion as Felicity rolled her eyes at him. “Lucky for you,” she lowered her voice with a playful tone, “I _love_ dessert!”

The two of them again rolled their eyes at each other, stepped onto the elevator and shared another sweet kiss on their way to the lobby. They held hands and laughed at more low-voice shared jokes and insinuations as they made their way toward the front doors and off to dinner.

The man standing at the front desk waiting for pool towels recognized Felicity’s laugh as she and her date walked nearby. Oliver had turned around, aiming to make some witty comment about them causing a ruckus in the lobby.

Instead, when he saw the dress she was wearing, noticed her hand linked with Ray’s and saw the goofy grin and slight blush on her face, his attitude changed. His stomach churned with the knowledge that he couldn’t translate what he was feeling. 

He wanted to run after them, jerk her away from him and boot him to the curb. He wanted to take her back to an empty room and enjoy every minute inch of that dress. He wanted to get in the car with Felicity and take her wherever they were going, alone. He didn’t want to go back to the pool with the towels for his _wife_ and daughter. He wanted Felicity in the pool with himself and Dali.

When the young man brought him the additional towels, a scowling Oliver walked back to the pool. He took a deep breath when he went back to his family and looked at Laurel sitting in one of the lounge chairs.

“I think the day’s catching up with me. I’ve got a headache. I’m gonna head back upstairs.” He tossed the towels down in the chair next to his wife. 

“You promised Dali she could swim until…”

“Dal, Dad’s got a headache. I’m going back to our room. When mom tells you it’s time to get out, don’t argue, k?”

“Okay, Daddy,” Dali splashed in the shallow end of the pool.

Oliver turned back to his wife and held his hands out with a _‘There, all taken care of’ _look on his face. As he started to walk away, without giving her a kiss, or even a second glance, he turned back around and pointed at her with an even angrier look on his face. “You still need to tell me what the hell happened this morning between you and Felicity.”

Laurel matched his soured look and set her darkened eyes directly on his. “It’s nothing you need to worry about.”

Oliver breathed in and out hurriedly for another moment before responding. “Fine, I’ll talk to her about it.”

“Sure, give it a try. She won’t be in a room alone with you again so it won’t be a one on one conversation,” Laurel countered.

“What does _that_ mean?” Oliver raised his voice slightly, drawing Dali’s attention along with a couple of others at the pool.

“It means,” Laurel lowered her voice, “that you should just let it go and forget about it. After this weekend she’ll go her way and we’ll go ours and it won’t matter anyway.”

Oliver set his jaw and flared his nostrils as he tried to take slower breaths. “What have you done, Laurel?”

She shook her head, refused to answer him and fixed her eyes on their daughter still playing in the pool. When she crossed her arms over her chest Oliver turned on his heels and walked away.

As soon as he got to the elevator he sent Felicity the first text of the evening: “Text me when you’re back from dinner. We need to talk.”

\-----

Laurel stewed as he walked away. As if it wasn’t enough that Felicity had accepted the invitation to be part of this convention, she would be sitting next to _her_ husband for hours again tomorrow. And Laurel knew them both. They would share touches, possibly kisses, laughs and stories that had nothing to do with her. It was all about the chemistry and bond that Oliver and Felicity had forged on _that damn show._

_In the past eight months she had made a point to let Felicity know that it was time for her to back off. The arrangement for Felicity to be Oliver’s sexual outlet had worked in Laurel’s favor at first. She actually didn’t care that he was sleeping with the younger blonde actress. It kept Laurel from having to be in Vancouver and attempting to whet his appetite while he was home._

_Oliver Queen was a catch, she knew that and readily admitted it. But his penchant for bedroom neediness became obvious after Dali was born and he was home with them for three months. Between postpartum and her dislike of being touched in general, Laurel had realized the idea of a mistress for her husband wasn’t as bad of an idea as others might think._

_Until…until she could see that Oliver’s feelings for Felicity weren’t just on the surface… Until…until Felicity spoke in interviews of them ‘loving’ each other… Until the writers of that damn show gave in to the fan desires to have Archer and Overwatch fully involved and even married. In the past year the loving couple had even had a baby on the show._

_And that was the biggest mind-changing factor. Laurel’s attitude about their arrangement did a complete 180 when her daughter began asking to see Felicity; to hang out with Aunt Lis-ty; to go out with Daddy and Felis-ty because she had lots of fun with them._

_That was the point that Laurel decided Felicity needed to be out of their picture. That was when she decided to approach Felicity and encourage her to get out of the show before it ended. And, she let Felicity know that if she even balked at taking Mrs. Queen’s suggestions, she could kiss Oliver and Dali goodbye and look forward to a lawsuit that she would surely lose._

_Breaking up a marriage, emotional distress – especially that of a child – wasn’t looked on kindly, no matter what country or court._

_That conversation had happened before the cast and crew had started filming the past season. It had shaken Felicity to the core, so much so that she had kept her distance from Oliver on set and certainly didn’t try to see him, purposefully, during their breaks._

_The fact that Laurel and Dali had decided to stay in Vancouver with Oliver made Felicity’s change less noticeable to most. But Laurel and Felicity knew. And to Laurel, that’s all that mattered._

_What Mrs. Queen came to realize, however, was that even during that entire ‘I’ve taken my family back’ stage, Dali had continued to communicate with Felicity. FaceTiming and phone calls from Oliver’s phone and Dali’s tablet were held to a minimum, but they still happened. And because Dali usually instigated them, with a touch of a button or two, out of Laurel’s view and earshot, Felicity didn’t hesitate to talk to her. _

_And Oliver didn’t attempt to end the friendship because he loved the idea that his daughter, and the woman he had fallen in love with, loved each other. _

_He noticed an attitude change in Felicity. He noticed less communication between the two of them. And he certainly noticed their lack of intimate contact. But with Laurel and Dali in town, and the dramatic change of direction in the show, he figured life would return to normal - their kind of normal - eventually._

_Laurel knew her husband’s first hint of reality came when he signed on for one final season of his show. His from-the-beginning-cohort John was quick to plug his name into the mix as well. But Felicity hesitated. She claimed she thought the current season would be their last. She said she thought the network wouldn’t give them another season. She said she had already started making plans for other projects._

_When Oliver came home, truly concerned about Felicity not returning, Laurel had shown her hand. Her line of, “Well it really is time you let her go, Oliver. She’s taken up enough of your time as it is…” sent him into a flurry of curses and questions._

_Without letting him fully know that she had threatened Felicity, Laurel told him that it was time for him to be husband and father again and that was it. Provide for his family and forget about this other woman in his life._

_He immediately left their house and called Felicity. She didn’t answer his calls or texts at all that long weekend. And when they returned to the studio on Tuesday and Oliver tried to ask her what was going on she simply looked at him and said, “Everything’s fine. You just need to focus on the show and your family.”_

\-----

A splash of water brought Laurel out of her thoughts. Dali laughed at her even though Laurel grumbled and barked at Dali for getting her wet. The little girl shrugged her shoulders. “Daddy woulda done it too.”

Laurel rolled her eyes. “Daddy does a lot of things that you don’t need to copy, Young Lady.”

“Was he mad when he went back to our room?” Dali wondered.

“He said he had a headache, Dal. I don’t know if he was mad or not.”

“He sure seemed mad. I wonder if he talked to Aunt Lis-ty. I don’t think Daddy likes her being here with Ray. But Ray is pretty cool. I thought he was Daddy’s friend.” Dali pulled her arms out of her water wings and dropped them on the floor before grabbing a towel.

Laurel stayed quiet, trying to keep her thoughts to herself about _Aunt Felicity _and Ray.

“Can we go back upstairs now?” Dali asked. “Aunt Lis-ty said I could come over and see Ollie Llama. Can I go knock on her door, please?” She asked her mom innocently.

That made Laurel breathe in deeply with a demeanor change. “No you can’t go knock on her door, Dallas. It’s after 9:00. It’s really past your bedtime. If you want to see that stuffed animal she can bring it to you tomorrow and you can take it home.”

Dali looked at her mother with tears forming behind her quivering little lip. “Ok, Mommy,” she answered very quietly. “I still think I’m ready to go back to our room. Can you dry my hair a little, please?” she requested politely.

Laurel took the towel from her daughter and attempted to change her attitude back to something more pleasant. She was still fuming that Dali was asking about Felicity and wanted to see her. She comforted herself with the thought that Felicity was there with someone else; and Dali was completely under Laurel’s care while they were in London.

And, she had reminded Felicity that very morning that Oliver and Dali were off limits…period.

\-----

Felicity read the text from Oliver when she and Ray were seated at the restaurant. She sighed.

Ray looked at her curiously. “What’s wrong?”

She held the phone up, not wanting to hide anything from him.

“What’s that about?” He wondered truthfully.

“I wonder if he talked to Laurel about this morning’s confrontation?” Felicity thought out loud.

“What was up with that?” Ray watched as Felicity rolled her eyes and sighed with frustration.

“The woman is just…” Felicity practically huffed. “She’s gone off the deep end, Ray.”

“It’s not enough that she’s told you to stay away from Oliver and Dali? Threatening a lawsuit isn’t enough?”

Felicity shook her head. “This morning, when we got to the convention and Dali saw us, she jerked away from Laurel and ran to me. I didn’t think twice about it. You saw me, I picked her up and loved on her and Laurel and Oliver were both right there. She wanted to know where Ollie Llama was and why I didn’t bring him down to the booth. I was telling her that I didn’t want him to get stolen. And we started talking about the sites that he’s seen already.”

She stopped as their waiter came by and took their drink orders. The kind man gave them the dinner specials and then left them to consider an appetizer and their entrees as he went to get the bottle of wine that Ray requested.

When the waiter walked away, Ray pressed her to continue. “What I saw was Laurel coming at you as though you were kidnapping Dali. She had fire in her eyes, Felicity.”

Felicity nodded and sighed again. “She came and pulled Dali out of my arms and told her to go back to Oliver. As soon as Dal took a step away she got right in my face and told me if Oliver even mentions spending time with me, she would take Dali out of his life completely. So now she hasn’t just threatened me, but she’s threatening to take Dali from her father.”

Ray watched her shake her head and begin to rub her forehead with her fingers. “Is Oliver aware of any of this?” He finally asked straightforwardly, knowing Felicity had avoided this very question in the past.

She looked at him and breathed in deeply. “I think he suspects something. Our relationship has changed, drastically and obviously. I don’t know if Laurel has confronted him about it or if he’s asked her directly.”

“Did he _ever_ tell you that he was going to leave her, for you?” Another question that had been niggling at Ray and he figured now was the time to ask.

Felicity looked at him directly with a saddened look. “Yes,” she admitted.

Ray sat back and took in his own long, deep breath.

“He has mentioned it a few times,” she continued slowly.

“And what are your thoughts – or what were your thoughts when he said it? Has he said it since this whole fiasco with Laurel started?” He attempted to ask without sounding accusatory.

“Each time he’s said it there has been some craziness with Laurel. Either she’s wanting his attention or calling him to come home for some emergency that really wasn’t an emergency. Or she’s just being a bitch – which, as we both are well aware, doesn’t take a lot of acting from her.”

Ray pressed his lips together with the thought that Felicity had never really shared with him her feelings about Oliver’s wife.

“It’s been, when…” she stalled, wondering if she should continue the thought.

“Tell me, Felicity,” Ray tried to be encouraging.

“When we’re in bed and have had a particularly…lovely…time together. He would say something about wanting to spend more time with me, or me being more a part of his and Dali’s lives. Last year, when we were spending so much time together on-screen, it really began to move off screen and he would tell me that he enjoyed spending more time with me than he did with Laurel.”

She stopped as the waiter brought their wine and poured a glass for each of them. He took their orders, Felicity took some long sips of her drink and then dabbed her lips with her napkin.

“I – I tried not to encourage him but sometimes it was nice to dream. Sometimes I had thoughts that he would leave her and he and I and Dali…” she stopped and shrugged her shoulders as the emotions moved in.

She breathed in and out a few times and then looked back at Ray. “I’m sorry. We were having a good time. You don’t want to know about this.”

Ray disagreed. “You’re wrong. I need to know. This is why I told you we need to move slowly. Lis, I know you still love him. And…” he continued when she tried to disagree with him, “and…he obviously is in love with you. You haven’t had a moment alone with him in how long? He can’t be clueless about this entire situation. You talked to him when you told him you weren’t renewing your contract, right? You had to give him some other reason than just _‘I didn’t think the network would renew us.’_ He’s a damn brilliant man, Felicity.He has to know something has completely blown up his world too.”

Ray gauged her reaction by the length of the wine sips she was taking. The fact that her glass was already empty told him she was considering his words. She strummed her fingers nervously on the table as she looked toward the wine bottle their server had left behind.

Ray lifted the bottle and refilled her glass. “What are you thinking?”

“When I told him I wasn’t re-upping…I told him not to overthink my reasoning. And I asked him not to ask me any questions about it. I told him if he would just let it drop, I would…make up for the months that I had put him off and stayed away from him…intimately.”

Ray closed his eyes. “So even after Laurel was threatening you?”

“I missed him Ray! I missed being near him, I missed spending time with him. I missed…” she lowered her voice considerably, “I missed making love to him. I missed laying in his arms after making love and just being with him. I’m addicted to him. It’s been a fucking nightmare the past two months. When I go to bed alone I cry myself to sleep. He texts me and I can’t answer because I know if I do he will keep prodding and I will give in and meet him. And he would do the same for me. He has done it for me in the past. I’ve needed him and I’ve called. He’s made excuses not to come but if I call again or keep asking, he’s there. Do you have any idea how hard it’s been for me not to answer _his_ texts or calls?”

She quickly raised her napkin to her eyes to try and keep tears from running out and ruining her makeup.

She sniffled and sturdied her chin. “The last time I was with him was in that damn cabin where the show ended. We went with the ruse of running lines. He told Laurel that John was going to be there with us and Andy was looking at some different blocking ideas for the last scene. But it was just me and Oliver. It was the bed where Archer and Overwatch’s baby was born. It was hours of us spending time together in silence, and talking about anything except our lines. No mention of Laurel, no mention of season 8 or contracts or why I wasn’t coming back. It was just me and Oliver and one final opportunity for us to show each other that we were in love.”

“Were?” Ray asked sincerely.

Felicity shrugged her shoulders once more. “Were…are…at that point it didn’t matter. Just like Archer had to go away…I had to go away and we both knew that. No matter what the reasoning really was or is, the fact is, I need to be away from him. That’s what’s best for both of us. Especially for him. I’m not going to be the reason he loses his daughter. If Laurel wants to continue screwing with their marriage and pushing him away it won’t be my fault. She can blame me all she wants but he and I will know the truth. We said goodbye on all levels at that cabin.”

Ray put his finger over his mouth, thinking as he watched her drink her second glass of wine.

“What?” Felicity wondered as she reached for the bottle of wine and he stopped her.

“Ray,” she moved his hand and tried again to get the bottle.

“One more glass,” he lifted the bottle and tilted it toward her glass. “But you don’t finish this one until our food gets here.”

“What, you don’t want me to get drunk?” Felicity tried to grin and forget their last topic of conversation.

Ray looked at her seriously, reached out and took one of her hands across the table before she could lift her glass. “At this moment…I think you’re full of shit and the last thing you need is to be drunk on top of that.”

Felicity raised her eyebrows and tried to pull her hand from his grasp but he wouldn’t let go. “Well, thanks for the sympathy,” she puffed out her cheeks and blew out the air she held there.

“Listen to me,” Ray supplied, “What I’m hearing you say is that you don’t give a crap about Laurel’s threat. You countered her threat by sleeping with her husband again? And you are pissing her off by just being here this weekend. That’s obvious. But on the flip side, Felicity, you are killing your heart by pretending that you can make yourself fall _out_ of love with that man.”

They both went silent as plates were put in front of them. For a moment they both studied their food, told their server that it looked and smelled delicious and Felicity started on her third glass of wine.

As she took a bite, Ray swallowed, held his fork toward her to get her attention and looked into her eyes. “You need to see him. You need to talk to him. You need to tell him about your confrontations with Laurel and lay it all on the table. Even if he knows her side of the story he needs to know yours too. At least tell him that she’s the reason for your decisions. Don’t keep that inside any longer. She’s pulling your strings here, Lis. I love you and want to get out of this damn town and back to our travels. But enough of her thinking she has the upper hand. Enough of you running away from them and then back to them. You aren’t a yo-yo.”

Felicity listened to him. He made perfect sense. But she had set on a path to do things her way and to get through this with Ray’s help along with other friends – and she would get there. She chewed her food slowly. The two of them spent the next half hour commenting on their food and stealing glances at each other.

The buzz of her phone made Ray’s eyebrows raise. “Text or call?”

“Text,” Felicity turned the phone around. _‘Are you back yet? Laurel is in the shower. I need to see you. I’ll let you know when she’s asleep. Don’t ignore me, Lici, please.’_

“Answer him,” Ray instructed and Felicity ignored him. 

“Lis,” she shook her head.

“Enough for tonight,” she took another bite of the vegetables on her plate and sat back in her chair. “I wore this dress tonight for you. I’m tired of talking about my failed relationship. I appreciate your counseling and your understanding and you just being you. But I would like to order dessert, enjoy something sweet and then go back to our room…for a nightcap.”

“You amaze me,” Ray shook his head.

“Indulge me, please,” she requested.

He did his best to push aside the thoughts of Felicity being intimate with Oliver. He attempted to forget the anger he was currently feeling toward Mrs. Queen and the threats she had made toward the woman in front of him. And he tried to focus on her, the dress that she was flaunting, and the idea that perhaps she wanted him to get her out of said dress to finish their night together.

The cheesecake came doused with the most delectable chocolate Felicity had tasted in ages. She put her fork down after the second bite and tried to keep her moan quiet. Ray found both the delicacy and her sound utterly delicious.

“I’m not going to finish this myself, Love,” he grinned as she sat there with eyes closed enjoying the taste of the dessert lingering in her mouth.

She blinked her eyes open and raised a single eyebrow at him, demeaning him for interrupting her moment of pleasure.

Ray held out his fork toward her lips with another bite of cheesecake attached. Felicity leaned forward and took the bite into her mouth savoring the sweet morsel.

Ray laughed at her.

Felicity reached for her glass of wine, number four and the absolute limit her date was going to allow as he couldn’t imagine having to carry her through the hotel. 

“Would you like another bite?” Ray inquired as she slowly swallowed the alcohol and washed the last bit down her throat.

“One more,” she whispered and smiled.

This time Ray purposefully dipped the piece into the chocolate adding a little extra mess to the challenge. When the chocolate coated Felicity’s upper lip and a bit of the skin above, he sat back and stared.

She looked at him in confusion until he motioned for the waiter to bring their check. Felicity reached for her napkin but heard Ray’s negative reaction.

“Don’t,” he requested.

“Why not?” she wondered.

“I’ll take care of it when we get in the car.”

His look told Felicity he had moved beyond their earlier, frustrating conversation, and back to thoughts of what the rest of this evening might hold.

Her phone buzzed three more times in her clutch on their way back to the hotel. Both of them heard it. Ray offered to stop licking the chocolate off her lips if she truly wanted to look at her messages. Felicity didn’t accept that offer but instead tugged on his tie insisting that her mouth needed his complete attention.

\-----

He could still taste the wine and chocolate in her mouth when they opened the door to their room and stumbled inside. 

She had loosened his tie in the elevator and his hands had found one strip of skin dangerously close to her breast that was keeping his fingers occupied. They kept their composure, somewhat, until the door of the hotel room closed them in.

Ray stopped and looked at her before running his finger over her left, bare shoulder and down the center of her chest.

She shivered as the tip of his finger touched sensitive skin making her practically lunge into his arms. Her fingers fumbled slightly, with the alcohol and the adrenaline, trying to undo his shirt buttons.

Ray found himself sitting on the table with Felicity tucked between his legs as they kissed and nipped at each other, both making up their minds that this was where _they_ wanted the evening to lead.

Until Felicity’s purse buzzed yet again. It buzzed a second time and Ray pulled his lips away from her neck.

“Answer the damn call, Felicity,” he breathlessly demanded.

“No,” she defied.

“If you don’t, I will. And we both know if I answer he’s going to be at that door in two minutes.”

“I’m not going – “

“He’s going to keep calling all night and I’m telling you if you don’t answer him, I’m going to. Do you want me to go and meet him at the bar and tell him what you told me tonight? Because if you don’t talk to him, I’m going to. At least if it’s you, it’s still in your control.”

Felicity stepped away from Ray and opened her clutch. The buzzing had stopped but there were two voice mails, three missed calls and another text all from Oliver. Obviously he was _not_ in favor of her spending the evening with Ray.

As she started to listen to the first voice mail the phone started ringing again. This time she accepted the call.

“Oliver, what the hell?”

“Felicity, I need to talk to you,” his voice was soft but determined.

“Is it some kind of emergency? You’ve been leaving me messages for three hours now.”

“What if it was, Felicity? What if it was Dali and I needed you to be here?” He asked sincerely.

“Then you would’ve told me in your first text. All you’ve said is that you need to see me.”

“And I do.” Oliver spoke softly.

“Why?” Felicity asked with slight frustration. “Give me a good reason why you need to see me and I’ll meet you.”

Oliver breathed slowly. “I – I miss you.” He stopped for a brief second trying to collect his thoughts without running them altogether. “Felicity, I’ve practically seen you every day or talked to you every day for seven years. You’re part of me. I love you. And now it’s been nearly two months and I just want to see you and talk to you, face to face, one on one, just … us. Please.”

Felicity heard his heart in his words. As she had told Ray earlier, she would give in to him every time. Laurel be damned, if Oliver asked Felicity to go somewhere or do something for him, she would likely do it.

“Where?” she asked after a moment.

“There’s a little alcove between the bar and the patio by the pool. It’s off by itself, kind of private.”

Felicity nodded and looked up at Ray who had been watching her body language the entire time.

“I’ll be there in 10 minutes.” She closed her eyes and shook her head as she ended the call.

Ray gave her a forced smile. “Do you want me to come with you?” He offered.

Felicity took a deep breath and shook her head, “No. I need…I need to handle this.”

“You sure?”

Felicity nodded. 

She stepped to Ray again and fit herself between his knees. She leaned forward and pecked his nose. “Wait up for me, please?”

“Of course,” he didn’t hesitate. “I’ll give you 30 minutes and then I come looking for you.” He smiled a sad smile in her direction as she grabbed one of the door keys and tucked it into her clutch with her phone.

“Actually, if you’ll just listen for a scream from the bitch down the hall realizing her husband is with me… toss me a warning text so I can prepare myself for a fight.”

Ray laughed through a huff and shook his head. He had a feeling Laurel Queen would eventually find herself in a fight she didn’t bargain for.

\-----

Felicity smiled at the bartender who was attempting to cleanup after the late night crowd had finally emptied out. She looked around and spotted a dark cave-like entrance close to the pool which had also shut down for the night. She wandered toward it and stopped to run her fingers through her hair before taking a deep breath and walking toward the dim light inside the room.

“Oliver?” She looked at the man’s shadow standing near two dim electric candles that sat in the corner providing just a sliver of light.

When he turned around and saw her there, the light barely allowing him to recognize the dress he had seen her in earlier, his voice stalled in his throat. He didn’t even try to say anything but instead walked toward her and wrapped his arms around her.

He easily lifted her up and held her as she didn’t make any attempt to fight him.

When he sat her back on her feet he buried his face against her neck and planted his lips on her skin. “I’ve missed you,” he finally spoke against her neck and she could feel the wetness of tears touching her collarbone.

“And I’ve missed you, too,” Felicity agreed, “But Oliver, you’re right, we need to –“

He stopped her words moving his lips to hers. She felt his breath, from his nose coming and going frantically as he quickly pushed his tongue against her lips wanting a much deeper connection.

Again she didn’t fight. Her mouth opened to him instinctively, her hands dropping her purse and moving to his cheeks trying to hold them steady as he hungrily reacted to her presence. 

She felt him pushing her backwards to the cool stone of the wall. It was actually a welcome feeling as her body began to heat up from his kisses and touch. His fingers lingered on her shoulders, gliding over every inch as though he was making sure there were no foreign marks from someone else’s lips.

His tongue pressed far into her mouth, inviting hers to dance and causing him to moan as she joined his quest to reacquaint their bodies.

Soon she felt his fingers in the same spot where Ray had touched her earlier. Ray’s touch had excited her but she quickly noted, Oliver’s set her on fire. She arched against his touch, wanting his fingers to find more of her breasts hoping he might even tear the material to get what he wanted.

She gasped at her thought and then cried out slightly when her bare shoulders came in contact with the chilled stone wall.

Oliver pulled away reluctantly looking at her, and wondering what caused her cry.

“I – my shoulders,” she tried to explain breathlessly, “The wall is cold.” She smiled apologetically and watched as he pulled his t-shirt over his head and placed it around her shoulders.

“Oliver,” she stopped him before he could devour her mouth again. Both needed to catch their breaths. And she needed to try and stop her spinning mind.

“I was in the bar…when you left with Ray for dinner…in this dress. This is _my_ dress, Felicity. You told me you would wear it for me but you never did. And when you walked out with him…holding hands with him… I couldn’t…”

Felicity put a hand on his cheek. “You can’t be jealous, Oliver. You’re not allowed –“

He shut her up again with a kiss and took her breath completely away, delving his tongue as deeply into her mouth as he could. She felt his teeth grazing her cheek as he opened widely trying to take in as much of her as he possibly could.

“Oliv-“ she attempted to say his name unsure if she was trying to stop him or spur him on. 

As though he needed more of her to gain his next breath, Oliver pressed her against the wall. One hand held her head to his, unwilling to relinquish their kiss. His sudden possessiveness made her body tingle from the inside out.

She could feel his length growing and hardening against her abdomen as his other hand found its way again through one of the open strips of her dress. His entire hand pushed through as she had hoped it would, gently kneading at her perfectly rounded mound that had missed his touch.

Felicity felt his cock practically pulsing against her and knew what would happen when he moved his hand from her neck and grabbed one of her hands. He pushed her fingers toward the zipper on his khaki pants, begging her to feel him again.

Her hand shook. His fingers had found her nipple and was skillfully reminding her of the pleasures he could offer. She tried to undo his button but moaned in defeat as her fingers wouldn’t cooperate. Instead she moved to his zipper and found a small victory as she drug it down, feeling his hardness pleading to get out.

She didn’t hesitate as her fingers continued, finding the opening of his boxer briefs and immediately wrapping her hand around his thickness. He began moving instinctively in her fist but his entire body wanted more.

He pressed her tighter against the wall and let his un-breasted hand slide down to the hem of her dress. He inched it up her thigh and felt her trying to grind her core against her pumping hand. He slid his hand under her thigh and lifted her leg to rest on his hip, gently spreading her open for him to own.

She moaned in pleasure making him smile against her lips. _This_ was what he had wanted since she had agreed to meet him in London. Before it became a family trip… Before it became a work assignment, he had simply wanted to have Felicity to himself. He wanted to convince her to come back to him, to their show, to their relationship. And he was sure making love to her would be his chance to change her mind.

His fingers slipped farther toward her center, reaching the lace of her panties and worked toward her heat. He moaned as he felt her wetness and tried to shift their bodies moving his taut hardness in line with her opening.

She felt his fingers probing her, and wanted to pull the satiny skin of his head against her clit so she could once again feel him filling her.

It was that thought and the feel of his mouth worshiping every hint of her bare skin that brought the tears to her eyes. He always wanted her. He always delighted in just having her near him. He adored making love to her and that made every inch of her tingle.

And yet…he wasn’t hers.

“Oliver, stop,” her words were muffled in a cry against his shoulder.

He stalled, wondering if he had heard her correctly. He knew for a fact that he was feeling wetness against his collarbone.

“Felicity,” he breathed out, so close to being lost inside of her that he couldn’t help pressing his slick tip into her swollen opening.

“Stop,” she said again with slightly more force.

“What’s wrong?” he stopped his movements and found the strength to raise his forehead and rest it against hers.

“I can’t… Oliver,” she cried softly putting both hands over her face, “We can’t.”

Her soft sobs startled him, making him pull away from her completely leaving Felicity feeling vulnerable and cold.

“Lici, look at me,” Oliver encouraged her.

Instead she looked down at her tousled dress, his shirt that was now on the floor along with her clutch. She glanced at him as Oliver tucked his still-swollen penis back into his pants. She smoothed down the wrinkles of her skirt where his hand had just been and tried to calm herself.

“Felicity,” Oliver tried again. He stepped toward her and took her chin in his hand. “Please tell me what’s going on? Laurel has done something, I know. But I need you to tell me what’s going on.”

Felicity put her hand over her mouth and shook her head. The tears wouldn’t stop falling with the thought of how much she truly wanted to make love to him. She needed someone to make love to her right now.

She picked his shirt up from the floor and also grabbed her purse. She looked down at his hand, shaking almost as much as hers when she handed him the thin cotton garment.

“I love you,” she found the breath to tell him. She noticed the tears and the hurt in his eyes and knew Oliver and Ray were correct. He needed to know the truth. Right now, she didn’t have the strength or the heart to tell him. “Just never doubt that I love you please.”

Oliver nodded his head, agreeing to her demand but not understanding why she was saying this.

Then he watched as she placed her hand over her mouth again and slipped past him, out of the darkened alcove and back towards the elevator. 

“Felicity?” he asked although he knew she was too far away already.

In his confusion he barely remembered slipping the shirt back over his head, inhaling her scent from the soft material and making his way up the stairs to his suite.

The little head of curly hair that met him when the door opened was completely unexpected. “Daddy, were you with Aunt Lis-ty?”

“Dali, why are you awake?” he tried to keep his voice even.

“Can we go to her room so I can see Ollie? I didn’t get to go over there earlier.”

“Dal, baby, it’s after midnight. You’ve gotta go to sleep and I’m sure Aunt Felicity’s asleep too.”

“No she’s not, you were just talking to her.”

“Dali, I was just getting a drink at the bar to help me sleep. Why do you think I was talking to Felicity?” Oliver attempted to put his father skills into play.

“You smell like her and there’s lipstick right there…” Dali walked to her father, reached up and swiped at his earlobe.

Oliver sighed. “Okay, you got me. Lici and I were talking at the bar. She gave me a hug and kiss before she went back to her room.”

“So we can go over there?” Dali hoped innocently.

“No, you little llama. Ray is asleep and Felicity is getting into bed. It’s late and far past time for all little llama’s to be in bed. Ollie is asleep and he’s probably mad that Felicity is late getting back to their room.”

“Will I get to see him before we leave?”

“I don’t know, Dal. Go to bed and we’ll talk about it in the morning, okay?”

Dali accepted his answer. She reached up to her father wanting a hug so he picked her up and wrapped his arms around her. Dali kissed him on the cheek and then slightly pinched his earlobe wiping off some of the lipstick she could see there.

“Why would she kiss your ear, Daddy? That’s gross.”

Oliver laughed at his daughter. “Yeah, go to bed,” he ordered.

He sat down on the couch and touched his earlobe. He could still feel her lips there. His cock twitched in his pants. That was Felicity’s spot. Just the thought of her lips on his earlobe, breathing into his ear…she had found that spot the first time their characters made love. And she had put it to use many times since then.

He would be damned if tonight was the last time her lipstick stained that spot. He would find out what was going on and turn their worlds right side up once again.

\-----

Felicity was also met by someone as she unlocked the door to their suite. Ray didn’t even look at her appearance as he opened his arms and wrapped her up in them.

“Come lie down. I’ll get you a drink. You just calm down and we’ll talk about it in the morning, alright?” He suggested.

Felicity breathed in and looked at him. She licked her lips and shook her head slightly. “Ray,” she hesitated and pressed her lips together. He watched her silently as she formed the words in her head.

“I need you to make love to me. Tonight, right now, please…make love to me.”

* * *

**What If – Chapter 2**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading. And thank you ALL for your reviews, comments and encouragement following Chapter One! I hope you'll stick with me as you get to know these characters and soak them in. 
> 
> Now, if you read the story info, you know I requested no hateful reviews - BUT, if you don't like a particular character or you like the story but something just doesn't hit you in a positive way, don't hesitate to let me know. I don't mind constructive criticism and I really do like to know how the story and characters are coming across to you, the readers. I appreciate all of your thoughts!
> 
> Last but not least, this chapter was longer than most will be for this story. Thanks for hanging in there with it and reading all the way through!
> 
> Chapter 3 Tease:  
Felicity took a deep breath and looked toward Oliver. She followed the tracks of his tears down over his t-shirt and watched as one dripped from his nose. It was all she could do not to take his face in her hands and kiss his tears away.
> 
> Instead she met his eyes, hugged Dali tightly and stated, “I’m going to miss you too.”
> 
> With that, she put Dali in Oliver’s arms, turned and took Ray’s hand and walked out through the meeting room doors.


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A wave of emotions... but can that wave be ridden or will it pull them under? And, the innocence of a child can hold the key to a heart's true desires.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks for the artwork from Magda for this chapter! She and Robin have gifted me with images for this story that are just amazing!! Love you both!!
> 
> Character (of sorts) note: Ollie Llama has played a role in each of the Curved Reality stories, a special little connector between Felicity and Dallas. You may recall a video of birthday greetings that was posted, I think by Nocking Point, to Stephen around his bday in 2019. Emily was in that video, holding a little stuffed llama and wishing Stephen a Happy Bday in an Aussie accent. THAT is what I envision when writing about Ollie Llama and Felicity talking to Dali in an Australian accent.
> 
> Now back to the London Con...

** **

**Curved Reality:**

**What If: Chapter 3**

* * *

Ray sat in the chair across the room and watched Felicity sleeping in the bed. His breaths were even and calm as though he had gotten a good night’s sleep. 

That was far from true. 

\----- 

_His gut had told him not to search for Felicity the night before. Even after the 30 minutes he had promised...he knew she would be fine physically, with Oliver. _

_When he heard the door rattle after 47 minutes he knew her emotional well-being was the concern. He had honestly expected her to be gone a couple of hours or to call him after 30 minutes to say she would be gone the entire night._

_That’s why, after her 47 minute absence, Felicity’s dear friend wasn’t surprised that her face was tear-stained and she was shaking. Ray offered his support but Felicity’s request was making love. _

_Looking at her dress - he knew Oliver’s hands had found their way through the scant material; looking at her lips - the redness around them certainly wasn’t reapplied lipstick; Ray knew it wasn’t him she wanted in bed. And he told her that._

_Instead, he took her into the bedroom, helped her out of the dress which was thrown to the floor, and slid a t-shirt from the dresser drawer over her mostly naked body. He didn’t pay attention, nor did she, but once Ray got her to lie down on the bed he realized...the simple, black t-shirt that was so large on Felicity was probably one she stole from Oliver._

_Ray slid himself onto the mattress beside her, turned on his side and ran a hand gently up and down her arm. “What happened?” he finally got the nerve to ask._

_Felicity’s tears hadn’t stopped. She wasn’t sobbing but it wasn’t hard to know that the stream was ebb and flow._

_“He saw us leave for dinner...he was in the lobby...and saw my dress,” she explained in a broken sentence._

_“Was he angry?” Ray wouldn’t be surprised with either answer._

_“Yes - No… he was jealous. I told him I would wear this dress for him,” Felicity took a shaky breath as she admitted the somewhat obvious truth._

_“Did he hurt you?” Ray knew her answer but still had to ask._

_Felicity hesitated, “No more than I hurt him.” She rolled onto her side, facing her friend and he put his arm around her, letting her try to find a comfortable spot on his shoulder. _

_Ray felt more tears through the sleeve of his t-shirt and again wrapped his arm more tightly around her and massaged her bicep._

_“He wanted to talk. I know that. But we haven’t seen each other in two months and I should’ve changed before I went to meet him…” she explained and then brought her short, manicured thumbnail to her teeth. “He almost fucked me...I almost let him…”_

_“Felicity,” Ray wasn’t opposed to the use of the vulgar word, but he knew she didn’t mean it, not like that._

_“What?” her voice strengthened with a slight surge of adrenaline from the thought of their near coupling. “He got hard just looking at me. His hands were all over me and I put his cock right outside my- “_  
  
_“Felicity stop!” Ray cut in, not wanting to know how close she was to making love to Oliver._

_“That’s why I need you to…” Felicity settled again, except for a few more tears leaking from her red eyes._

_“No,” Ray shook his head against the top of hers. “You need to get some sleep. You have to be up and presentable in the morning. You have a panel - with him - tomorrow. I’m not him, Felicity. I’m not Oliver and I can’t let you use me as though I am. Not tonight. Not knowing...knowing that you want to be with him right now.”_

_Felicity rolled away from him. She wasn’t angry. She knew he was right. He was the friend who was thinking clearly at this very moment. And as disappointed as she was; she was blessed to have him there with her._

_\-----_

Ray had slept on the couch once he was sure she was asleep. That had finally happened around 2AM. His sleep had been less than restful, as he played out the scenario of Felicity and Oliver in his head. 

Yet as many times as he thought about her meeting with Oliver and how she obviously still wanted to be with him, Ray also thought about times she had turned to him. That was the main reason he was on this trip with her and at this convention with her. 

Ray had been the one to calm her nerves and give her the assurance she needed to play out this particular weekend role.

\-----

_Friday night, the night before Felicity had met up with John, Oliver, Dali and Laurel had been a time of intimacy between her and Ray. Felicity had talked of her nervousness about the event – she really wasn’t a fan of the large-crowd-meet-hundreds-of-overly-excited-people happenings. But she loved her fans and she loved the fact that she had created a character who had attracted so much positivity. _

_She easily admitted to Ray, more than a few times, it was a bit overwhelming. And, over the years she had shared with him that Oliver had made most of those events worthwhile and bearable, being near her and keeping her calm as the hours went by._

_But that night she turned to him, looking for reassurance. So they had shared a bottle of wine, a Netflix movie, and she had curled comfortably into his side on the couch in their hotel room. At one random point Felicity settled her head onto his thigh as the movie played and Ray casually began stroking his fingers through her hair._

_He remembered thinking she had added color to her locks, with them taking on a more red appearance than the blonde she had worn for her television persona. “I like what you’re doing with your hair,” he had spoken quietly, trying not to interrupt the movie. “The red is a bit more fiery. It’s you,” he had stopped there._

_He had also stopped watching the movie at that point and was looking at his fingers running through her waves. Felicity turned her lips to his sweatpants-covered thigh and placed a lingering kiss there._

_Her hand rested on his knee, kneading his muscles. She lay her cheek back on his thigh for a second and then pushed herself up, bringing her face just a few inches from his. _

_Without a word she instigated a kiss that rendered him nearly breathless. She continued holding onto his knee for support and wound her other arm around his neck. Ray used both hands to hold her cheeks and pulled her even closer._

_She pulled back momentarily and looked at him. “You’re coming with me tomorrow, right? You’ll stay with me at the con?” She looked more vulnerable than he had witnessed in the past._

_“If that’s what you want. You know I will,” he answered her with a soft smile of promise._

_“I do. I want you there. I-I want you right now.”_

_Ray didn’t hesitate to stop the movie and lead her to the bedroom. He did stop before either of them undressed, weaving his fingers through her hair, tilting her face to look into her eyes, and asking her directly if she was sure she wanted to be with him._

_Felicity answered without a smile. “I am. I need to be with… I need you.”_

_Later in the night, when Felicity had rolled out of his arms and was sleeping restlessly on the opposite side of the king-sized bed, Ray saw her phone light up with text messages. He knew it was wrong but he pulled himself out of bed, grabbed her phone and went into the outer room. He sat down on the couch and took a deep breath as he unlocked her screen._

_He opened the latest text thread and scrolled back through several messages that had apparently come in throughout the day. He noted there were two that came in just before they had decided to share the wine and the movie…just before Felicity’s nerves had begun._

_The thread was between Felicity and Oliver. And the two suspect messages said, “I’ll have to see you tomorrow. Laurel is tired so we’re getting room service and staying in. Just fyi, she’ll be with me at the con tomorrow. Can’t wait to see you! Love ya!”_

_Ray closed his eyes momentarily. His heart dropped to his stomach as he thought back to the moments before he and Felicity were completely naked together. She hadn’t finished one of her sentences, “I need to be with…” Now he realized she wasn’t aiming to insert his name into that pause. It was Oliver’s she would’ve put there if she had finished that thought._

_Yes, she needed Ray, but in that moment he knew she wanted to be with Oliver._

_He sighed. Think positively. If we can get through three days in London I will have her to myself again. If nothing else she has to come clean about being in love with him. She can’t move forward unless she can admit what she’s feeling right now._

_“Ray?” Felicity’s voice broke him out of his thought. “Is everything okay?”_

_He stood up, shirtless and in his cotton athletic shorts, and turned toward her. He had to smile inwardly at the least. She was wandering out of the bedroom in his shirt and looked absolutely stunning. Not to mention, he had just shared sex with her and completely enjoyed having her body wrapped around his._

_He tapped her phone against his palm and then held it out to her. “I apologize. Your phone buzzed and lit up. I was already halfway awake so I grabbed it and looked at the message. That was wrong of me.”_

_Felicity stepped toward him and took the phone slowly. She opened the top thread just as he had but looked at the one that had just come through minutes before and was waiting on an answer._

_“Laurel is asleep. Are you awake? Can I see you, please? I miss you.”_

_She turned the phone toward Ray for him to read and looked at him with a lost glaze in her eyes._

_“Are you going to answer him?” Ray wondered._

_Felicity shook her head sadly. “No,” she started shortly. “No. It’s the middle of the night and I’ll see him tomorrow. No. It’s fine. He’s fine.” She continued the one-sided conversation as a ruse to convince herself._

_Ray reached out and grabbed her hand with the phone, holding it softly. “I understand if you want to go meet him. I do. But Felicity, at some point I want us to talk about this relationship. Your…relationship with Oliver, I mean.”_

_Felicity again shook her head but a bit more adamantly. “There’s nothing to discuss. We don’t have a relationship. We’re friends, former coworkers, that’s it.”_

_“Felicity,” his response was almost like a grandparent admonishing their grandchild – no real threat other than making her think about her words and actions._

_“I just… I woke up and you weren’t in bed so I wanted to make sure you were okay. I’m gonna go take some melatonin and try to get back to sleep.” She turned and walked back toward the bedroom leaving him standing and watching her. She stopped at the bedroom door and looked back at him. “Ray, thank you…for earlier…for…being with me and calming me down. It really did help. Thank you.”_

_He watched her walk into the room, took a deep breath and shook his head. Thanks wasn’t what he wanted._

_\-----_

Ray was awake and back in the bedroom watching her at 5:00 Sunday morning. He intentionally grabbed her phone and put it under his thigh in the chair. 

At 5:15 it buzzed and Ray wasn’t surprised. He didn’t hesitate to look at the screen. 

_“I’m sorry. I’m really, really sorry.” _

Ray was still trying to figure out how he felt about Oliver Queen at this early hour. The only thing he knew for sure was that Oliver and Felicity were certainly still in love and that was not going to change.

He tapped on the phone screen and typed in a reply to let Oliver know he wasn’t communicating with Felicity. _“She’s asleep. WE will see you downstairs later.”_

Ray knew Oliver would either come knock on the door in the next five minutes, or …

The phone buzzed again on his leg._ “Is she ok?”_

Ray took a deep breath. There were so many ways he could answer this. Or, he could go down the hall to Oliver’s room, knock on the door and then punch him in the face. At this moment he could probably get away with that. 

Until Felicity found out.

So he stared at Oliver’s question on the phone screen.

_“She will be fine,” _he responded.

Ray waited another minute knowing there would be something else.

_“Please make sure she is.”_

Ray took a deep breath and sat the phone farther away from him. He didn’t care if Felicity saw the texts between him and Oliver. They were neutral and proof that both men cared for her deeply. 

Felicity stirred in the bed at 5:30. Her alarm wasn’t set until 6 but it was obvious her dream-state was back in action. 

_“Go home…” _Those words were plain and were the ones that brought Ray back to the bed, prepared to hold her if this was a nightmare of some sort. He sat down gently beside her but didn’t reach out to touch her or console her.

_“I know. I love you, too. Don’t ask me to say I don’t love you. You know I do…” _It wasn’t hard to make out her clearly distinct mumbling.

_“Don’t Oliver. I told you… don’t ask me anything. Make love to me...for one night…”_

Ray leaned his head back. They had to get through this day and then perhaps he could take her away and get her mind on something else besides her heart breaking for the married man in the room down the hall.

\-----

As the morning moved along Ray watched as Felicity shined and practically beamed with excitement during the convention panel, sitting hip to hip and shoulder to shoulder…with Oliver. 

The two of them answered questions, shared inside jokes and acted as though their relationship was as normal as it had ever been. The couch they shared was made for two people but they shared it as if they were sitting in a recliner. 

Felicity might as well have been sitting in Oliver’s lap - and he probably would’ve accepted that action without any questions asked.

Ray was there for moral support. He wasn’t going anywhere and wasn’t going to say a thing. Not on this, their final day in London. He knew if they could just get through a few more hours he could take Felicity away and truly have some time alone with her to exorcise the demons … whoever that might be.

He stood back and noted the frigid air that came between Felicity and Laurel at the finale gathering. And he witnessed the way Oliver’s wife purposefully directed little Dali away from Felicity as much as possible. He saw a quite serious conversation between Felicity and John Diggle that ended with a very strong hug and tears in Felicity’s eyes which she shook off when Oliver appeared out of nowhere. 

Suddenly her fences were raised once again. She had smacked his hand away when he saw her tears and tried to console her. It wasn’t hard to see a frown, in place of her normal smile, on her face when he had reached up to wipe her cheek. 

Ray held his breath at that instance when he saw fire in Felicity’s eyes and she turned her back on Oliver, leaving him looking at John and wondering what the hell had just happened. Two seconds later Laurel was by Oliver’s side and Felicity was on the other side of the room holding a drink that appeared to be straight vodka or something else that was heavily alcoholic.

He sighed. He had caught up with Felicity after she downed the first drink and had a second in her hand. He suggested, quite strongly, that they bid their friends farewell and head back to their room. After all, the flight to Portugal was at 8AM. They needed to pack their bags and make sure the suitcases were being routed to the right place for them to retrieve them at the end of their long trip.

Felicity had agreed. They quickly made a circle of the room ending with Oliver and his family. Felicity had set her chin in a locked mode, stood in front of Laurel and forced herself to say, “It was good to see you Laurel. I hope the rest of your vacation is wonderful.” She had held it together beautifully, giving Oliver a warm yet stiff hug and bidding him farewell. And she even garnered a genuine smile as she bent down to say goodbye to Dali.

But when the little girl put her arms around Felicity’s neck they all saw the woman’s breaking point. Mrs. Queen looked on with little emotion other than the perturbed look that only increased when she noticed her husband with tears in his eyes.

“Aunt Lici, I love you. I’m gonna miss you. Will you still FaceTime me?”

Felicity nodded as her tears began rolling down her cheeks. The innocence of a child overshadowed every bad thought, every harsh word and every hint of hatred and misunderstanding. As she had done after serenading Felicity with a song on Felicity’s last day of work on the TV show, Dali hugged her tightly and refused to let go.

“Dal, I gotta go, Babe. Let Aunt Lici go, please.” Felicity didn’t dare look at Oliver, couldn’t stand the idea of looking at Laurel’s contorted face and so she found Ray’s eyes and pleaded with him to help.

“Hey, Dali,” Ray began. At least it forced the little girl to let go of Felicity’s neck with one hand. She continued to keep her other arm attached to her aunt but looked at the dark haired man. “How about you let me and Aunt Felicity go back to our room and I’ll get your llama and bring him back to you. Would that be ok?”

To his surprise, Dali and Felicity both responded with a resonant, “No!”

He looked at both of them as Felicity found the strength to move slightly from Dali’s grip. She stood up but didn’t hesitate to take Dali’s hand and hold it tightly as they both looked at Ray.

“No!” Dali answered again as she also squeezed Felicity’s hand as much as she could. “Ollie Llama goes with Lis-ty. She has to use Ollie when she FaceTimes me and tells me where you are. Ollie’s gotta go on your adventure with you so I know you’re okay and you’re coming home to me.”

Felicity leaned her head back, hoping Dali wouldn’t see the new set of tears streaming from her eyes.

Ray bent down and nodded his head. “Okay. Ok, Sweetheart, I’m sorry. I didn’t know that you and Aunt Felicity had a plan for Ollie. That’s perfectly fine. Ollie will go with us and he will tell you all about our adventures.”

Dali sucked in a deep, shaky breath and put her other hand on Felicity’s trying to hold on even longer. She looked up at her adopted ‘aunt’ and tugged on her arm. “That’s what you said you would do, right Lici? You said Ollie will go with you and I can talk to him and you whenever you can call me. And then when you get home I’ll come over and Ollie will tell me even more. Right? That’s what you promised.”

Felicity looked at Oliver and her strong façade faded to a shaking head that could only do one thing. She bent again and brought Dali’s hands to her lips and kissed her little knuckles. “Yes, Baby Dali,” she put on the best Australian accent she could muster in that moment of heartbreak. The Adventures of Ollie Llama and Baby Dali start tomorrow. And we will finish them when I get… home.”

Felicity gave one, empty, anger-filled glance at Laurel before she picked Dali up and hugged her as though she had given birth to her. “I love you Baby Dali.”

“I love you Aunt Lici. I’ll miss you.”

Felicity took a deep breath and looked toward Oliver. She followed the tracks of his tears down over his t-shirt and watched as one dripped from his nose. It was all she could do not to take his face in her hands and kiss his tears away.

Instead she met his eyes, hugged Dali tightly and stated, “I’m going to miss you too.”

With that, she put Dali in Oliver’s arms, turned and took Ray’s hand and walked out through the meeting room doors. 

There was nothing else she could say to Ray in the moment, so when they got to their room and he suggested she take a hot shower while he started packing, she agreed without hesitation.

As she let the hot water wash over her Felicity went back through the past few months in her mind. She was determined to move forward on so many levels. Her life; her choices; her career; her heart…all deserved her attention. She would take the next month to get her mind back on track and enjoy her time with Ray.

She pressed at her muscles willing the tension away. And as she moved her hands to her neck and smoothed down her body she focused on massaging the stress out of every part of her. She began to feel relaxed as she moved her hands to her breasts and began gently pushing against the tender skin.

She froze, however, when her fingers neared her right nipple and felt something foreign. Her heartbeat quickened and her throat tightened. She looked down to try and see what her fingers had encountered but it wasn’t visible. She took another moment and used both of her shaking hands to probe the area again thinking it was just some bizarre muscle contraction. 

Instead she felt the mass again, quite plainly, like a soft marble beneath her skin. 

_Dear God I’m not going to deal with this right now. Stress…it’s all stress related and this will go away once Ray and I get away from here. Just help me get through tonight and get on that plane in the morning. Help me forget about this…forget about Oliver and Laurel and the show and all the drama. Help me focus on my trip – our trip – and the other projects I’m committed to. THIS is not happening now and it will go away. It will._

She repeated the thoughts four more times like a mantra in her head. She pushed away the idea of calling Oliver to come and calm her fears. She talked herself out of the idea of calling for Ray and passing her fears to him. In fact she convinced herself to tell no one about the lump in her breast. And she began the process of trying to forget about it completely.

* * *

**What If – Chapter 3**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again to all who have read so far and have left kudos and reviews! I appreciate all of your thoughts about the characters and the story in general. I look forward to hearing more!
> 
> A question, for future reference: What Olicity lines, throughout the show and the crossovers, do you think were really shared/heartfelt between Stephen and Emily? Your thoughts just might spark more Curved Reality story ideas! You can toss your thoughts into the reviews as we move forward into more chapters, or feel free to DM me on Twitter - adcgordon. Just be sure to give me a Season and Episode #, like 3x20 ;) so I can go back and find the line you're referencing! Thank You!!!
> 
> Chapter Four Tease:  
“I’m right here, I’m still me and that’s the friend that knows you have a lot going through your mind. So why don’t you start with the first thing that pops into your mind…just tell me. Let’s spend 30 minutes right here, with no phone service, no one else around and a beautiful sunset as the backdrop. Talk to me.”
> 
> Felicity’s eyes drifted to her toes and the natural view beyond them. “I want more,” she spoke into the open air knowing he was listening.


	4. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Getting back to nature, back to the simplicity... until the complications of life rear an ugly head...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, as said before, sometimes Stemily prompts my thoughts while writing. For this chapter it was a bit more of Emily's travels. Now, for the record, I've never been to Portugal. I was blessed to visit Spain, but that's probably as close as I'll ever get. So as you read the next few chapters, keep in mind that I'm making this up, it's fiction, not based on anything real, other than an actress visiting a country, and my only inkling about said country is from Google and travel guides. (And, my only inkling about said actress is from social media posts...)
> 
> The same can be said about the medical issue that has been introduced. I haven't yet faced a situation like this but I hope the bit of research and reading that I've done will make it tolerable. If not, please let me know.
> 
> Thanks Again for reading and special thanks to my lovely Magda, Robin, @OliversMuse, @GarbageChic and my other 'sister wives' for all their encouragement and support and artwork!
> 
> Now...let's follow the drama to Portugal...

** **

**Curved Reality:**

**What If – Chapter 4**

The mountains of Portugal surrounded them. Their fourth evening in this truly foreign country was yet again, mesmerizing. Felicity sat her backpack onto the rock and just looked out at the natural beauty. 

“There’s something to be said about Big Ben, the Eiffel Tower even the American skyscrapers. But when you look at all this…” Ray put his bag down beside Felicity’s, put his hands on his hips and watched as she pulled out her phone and her camera to take pictures of the amazing greenery below them.

“Yeah,” Felicity looked through the camera lens working to get a panoramic view to try and remember it all.

“You okay?” Ray asked. She had been quiet since breakfast. 

Their first few days strolling around the city area, learning their way around, getting their bearings had been much like the first portion of their adventure – the stretch prior to London. Felicity had been slightly stand-off’ish but they talked, they joked, they laughed. 

She wasn’t reaching for him or touching him like usual. And he tried not to overthink that fact. _Was it Oliver’s influence? Was she rethinking their chats about their friendship and potential romantic involvement? Was it just being in a completely different place and away from everything and everyone?_

“Yeah,” Felicity said more assuredly, answering his question again with one word.

Ray pulled two water bottles from his pack and handed one to her with a tap on her elbow. “Drink up,” he instructed. “I can’t have you getting dehydrated up here.”

Felicity tapped a few times on her phone screen, smiled shortly at something she saw and then tucked the device into her pocket and took the bottle.

“I’m not going to get dehydrated. You keep making me drink a bottle of water every time we stop. I’ve become a master at pee’ing man-style,” she rolled her eyes as they both took drinks and looked at each other.

Ray proceeded to sit down on the rock for a moment. This was their last lookout point for the day. The rest of the daylight hours would be spent climbing down the mountain pathway and making their way back to the hostel. 

He glanced up at Felicity, still standing there looking into the wilderness, and decided to just bite the bullet. He placed a hand above his eyes to shade the setting sun and focused on the ear piece of her sunglasses.

“So you want to tell me what’s had you so quiet today? Other than ‘look at that patch of flowers…wow that’s beautiful… and Oh shit! Was that a snake?’ we haven’t talked hardly at all.”

Felicity tapped the toe of her boot against the rocky terrain and looked down to watch it. 

The truth was, she had showered that morning and her fingers again ran across that marble-sized feeling of flesh. She had hoped after three days of relaxing – they had been much more relaxing – the lump would go away. But no, it was still right there.

And, while she waited on Ray before they started the day’s trek, her phone had beeped with a FaceTime request from Dali. She didn’t answer for more than one reason, obviously. But she also intended to keep her promise to Oliver’s daughter.

So, each time they stopped on this particular day Felicity had taken video of their views as well as pictures. She fully intended to send those to Dali with a message from Ollie Llama. And, Felicity hoped that would be enough to satisfy the little girl’s curiosity, without having to see her face to face – even on screen.

“Just letting a lot run through my mind,” Felicity finally answered giving him no real answer at all.

“Sit,” Ray patted the hard seat beside him, still keeping a close eye on her face.

Felicity sighed, then gave into him and did as she was told. She sat down, stretched her legs out in front of her and planted her hands a few inches behind her bottom in order to lean back and relax for a moment.

“I’m right here, I’m still me and that’s the friend that knows you have a lot going through your mind. So why don’t you start with the first thing that pops into your mind…just tell me. Let’s spend 30 minutes right here, with no phone service, no one else around and a beautiful sunset as the backdrop. Talk to me.”

Felicity’s eyes drifted to her toes and the natural view beyond them. “I want more,” she spoke into the open air knowing he was listening. 

Ray waited a second for her to continue but then defaulted to asking questions.

“From what?” he wondered. “From who?” His mind was reaching its own conclusions.

“I want to move forward in my career, in my life. I want to travel like we’re doing now. I want to be on stage again – I love that. That’s why this New York play means so much to me. I want to give back to the Film School and production company. I just… I want more. And I know I can do it. There is nothing tying me down from doing any of that. I’ve got the means to do it now. I can do it,” she emphasized with a slightly childish tone.

“But?” Ray pushed.

Felicity huffed, sat up, straightened her back and then wiped her hands together quickly getting rid of the dirt and particles that had stuck to her palms. “But?” She looked at Ray with eyes almost dripping with sarcasm.

“But… Oliver. But Dali… But…_you_ – me… me and you.”

“Go on,” Ray kept his eyes glued to her and her body language.

Felicity held her hands out in front of her now, palms up. “I want more from Oliver – but I _don’t_ – I don’t know _what_ I want from him. I want more from…us…I, I _think?” _She tossed him a confused, questioning look. “But I don’t want to string you along. You’re one of my best friends, Ray, and I don’t want to jeopardize that with sex and a would-be relationship that I don’t even know if I could commit to or not.”

“God _bless it!”_ she cursed. “This whole fucking trip was supposed to be a chance for us to get away and spend time together and move on. But I just _had_ to agree to that damn London stop. We could’ve been here last week. We could’ve skipped London and my life would be nearly fucking perfect.”

Ray watched her emotions rise and fall. He watched her mix of anger and frustration and uncertainty. And then he looked down at his own hands in his lap and wondered if there was anything he could say to help her feel better.

“You told me,” he started, knowing he may be pushing more buttons, “that if Oliver asked you to do anything…to go anywhere…you would, for him. You know I would do that for you, right?”

Felicity glanced at him and nodded her head. “That’s why you’re putting up with me right now.”

Ray smiled softly. “I’m not putting up with you… well, I am putting up with you but I want to put up with you because I love you and you are one of my best friends as well. I love being with you and I _hate_ – I absolutely hate – the idea that you are hurting while we are out here in a space that you absolutely adore. You shouldn’t be battling demons when there’s something God-made right in front of us to enjoy.”

“What am I supposed to do Ray?” Felicity wondered as she fixed her gaze on him.

When he met her eyes the two friends looked at each other as just that, friends. Both realized, in this setting, life’s complications could fade away for a little while and they could enjoy the simplicity surrounding them.

Felicity reached out and took Ray’s hand and held it between them as they sat there. She breathed in deeply and pushed the thoughts of Oliver and her upcoming job responsibilities aside. She squeezed his hand lovingly and was happy that he squeezed back. 

“To be continued?” Ray asked.

Felicity nodded and smiled at him. “Yeah.”

\-----

For what it was worth, Felicity did tell Ray about the FaceTime effort from Dali. She admitted to him that she didn’t answer because she didn’t have the llama in hand to talk to Dallas and that would be the first question that her adopted niece would ask. Felicity also worried that perhaps a session with Dali would turn into a chat with Oliver and honestly the entire weekend was still pretty raw in her mind and her body.

But, with the little girl on her mind, Felicity did take note of a beautiful sunset on their way back to the hostel. So she pulled out the little stuffed animal and had Ray shoot a short video showing a lake and an orange and pink sky in the background.

_“Baby Dali!” _Felicity gave the llama its Aussie accent as she held it up in front of her face before the camera. _“It’s Ollie Llama here! Your Aunt Lici and I have been traipsing around Portugal. It’s the country next door to Spain. Hey, that’s where you are right now, in Spain! _

_We’ve found great places to hike which is what a llama likes to do, ya know. And we are now near the Lakes of Cerviera which is way up north in this country. We have walked up mountain pathways on a volcano and explored the forests at the mountain base. Lici says she and Ray are going to go out in a canoe or a kayak on the lake. Not sure I’ll be taking that ride, Mate. You know I’m not big on boat rides – at least not little boats like that. My four hooves don’t take kindly and I get a bit seasick._

_Now Little Lady, I’m sorry I missed you this morning when you tried to call me. So Lici’s gonna send you this little video and then you can try to call me in two days, ok? Just make sure it’s alright with your mum and dad and be sure it’s just you calling me alright?_

_I’ve gotta run. The waiter is bringing my food and I want the freshest salad around.”_

Felicity lowered the llama from blocking her face and smiled toward the camera as Ray continued recording. “I love you Dali! Talk to you soon,” Felicity puckered her lips and blew two kisses into the camera.

_Hopefully Oliver would know that one of those was meant for him._

\-----

The couple walked slowly back to their rooms for the night. They found several more views of the lake that offered beautiful pictures. And then as the darkness set in they hurried into the hostel and straight to Felicity’s room. 

A hostel certainly wasn’t the place they were going to make any headway with a romantic encounter and after their quiet day, that was just fine. It was comfortable, they could shower, sleep and then be up and out again first thing in the morning.

But Felicity asked Ray to stick around when they opened the door to the tiny room. She wanted him to help her send the video to Dali and she just wasn’t quite ready to go to sleep yet.

So he sat down on the double bed as she went to change in the bathroom. He pulled out his own phone and started scrolling through the pictures he had taken. He also grabbed Felicity’s phone and started watching the video they had just made.

Ray smiled at the effort Felicity was putting into this communication with Dal. He knew Dali had given Felicity the llama the last day Felicity was on set in Vancouver. Oliver and Laurel’s daughter had sang to Felicity and then endured a hug from Felicity that was so much more than a quick thank you.

\-----

_Felicity had bawled as Dali sang about a Million Dreams and the world that Felicity was going to set out and create. It was personal, it was something Dali wanted to do and something Oliver wanted Dali to do. And it was a surprise that caught Felicity off guard and let her know that Dali considered her more than special…more than just a friend…and ‘aunt’ didn’t even begin to describe the connection._

_Yes, Dallas Queen was a born performer…but she was still a shy five year old when surrounded by adults and Felicity knew that. So…singing in front of more than a dozen cast and crew members without hesitating was an act from her heart._

_A little later Dali had presented Felicity with Ollie Llama. The name was pretty obvious…a reminder of Dali’s father, Oliver. Dali and Felicity had found a quiet corner in the cabin where they were filming Felicity’s last scenes of the show. The five-year-old handed Felicity the wrapped gift that honestly just looked like a bundle of wrapping paper with a lot of tape on it and a string wrapped around it. “I couldn’t find any ribbon…” Dal had explained._

_When Felicity tore into the present, being careful as Dallas warned her, she came across the adorable stuffed animal._

_“It was one of mine,” Dali told her with a smile. “But when Daddy told me you were going on an adventure I knew Ollie would be happier with you.”_

_Felicity had cried again. She tried to give the animal back to the little girl but Dali wouldn’t have it. That was when they made the pact that Ollie would see the world and he would report back to Dallas through FaceTimes and phone calls and pictures._

_Felicity’s heart had nearly pounded out of her chest when she made the promise. That meant instead of making a clean break, she would have to make contact with Dali and in turn, with Oliver or Laurel. She still wasn’t sure she had made the right call but Dali had been happy. _

_\-----_

“Lis, you okay in there?” Ray called out after a few minutes. 

“Yeah…yeah…just fine. I think I got some bug bites today though,” she lied.

She was actually standing in front of the mirror, topless, with her fingertips back on her right breast, pressing against the lump. She twisted her body and her breast toward the mirror hoping maybe she could see a bump, or anything to indicate what this was.

With a deep breath she again considered telling Ray but decided against it. He would make them go home and end their adventure whether she really wanted to or not. No, she needed this time away, so it was better to keep this quiet still.

She slid into a tank top and tried to settle her nerves. Then she opened the pocket door and plopped herself onto the bed beside him.

“So, does it look okay?” she garnered a good enough smile to fool him this time as she crawled up the bed and leaned against the headboard.

“You’re in a tank top and shorts, Love. Looks great in my opinion,” Ray deadpanned with creased eyebrows.

“No!” Felicity laughed genuinely at his confusion. “The video for Dal. Does it look ok?”

“Well I shot it. I should bloody well hope it looks brilliant!” Ray sat up straighter and looked at her as though she had insulted him.

“Will you just give me the damn phone?” Felicity joked and tried to take her device away from him but Ray easily caught her wrist and they struggled playfully, laughing at one another.

When she did jerk the phone away from him with her knee dangerously close to his family jewels, she raised the phone over her head with her arm outstretched trying to play keep away.

“No! No- no!” She worked to fend him off with her other arm as both of them laughed to near tears. 

But with one last ‘Oomph’ of a push, Ray grabbed her phone again with his right hand and his left fell with a not-so-gentle thud onto Felicity’s chest. His palm inadvertently landed on her breast and as he pushed himself to roll away from her Felicity let out a whimper of pain that neither of them expected.

“Oh God, Felicity, I’m sorry. Love, are you alright?” Ray tossed the phone onto the bed, moved completely off of her body and then reached a hand toward her to help her sit up.

“I think…” Felicity grimaced slightly and before she thought twice she raised her tank top and grasped her right breast.

“Lis?” Ray watched her carefully. “Is it your ribs or did I hurt your…your breast?”

He stared unwittingly as she palpitated the questionable area. “Is that the bug bite you were talking about?” The redness from her pressing fingers was still prominent on her untanned skin.

“What?” Felicity looked at him, finally realizing what she was doing, what he was seeing and the fact that there were probably several factors causing her now quite obvious breast soreness.

She quickly lowered her top and tried to divert attention away from her naked boob and the show she had performed for him. “Where’s my phone?” She asked with a now humorless voice.

“Wait,” Ray slid back toward her and sat down facing her on the bed. “I didn’t just do that, did I?” He watched her eyes look away from his own.

“Felicity, look at me,” he placed a finger on her chin trying to encourage her to look at him. “The redness on your breast. That’s not from us just playing, is it?”

She finally looked at him, unsure what to say and just shook her head like a guilty child.

“Damn him!” Ray raised his voice. “Where’s the damn phone. What did he do to you Felicity? Tell me!” He prodded as he searched for her phone.

Felicity looked at him with uncertainty and confusion. “Who? What are you talking about?” she finally asked.

“When you met Oliver the other night and the two of you… what did he do to you? Did he bite you? Dear God, do you have an infection from –“

“No!” Felicity shouted at him just to settle his tone. “God no, Ray. Oliver wouldn’t hurt me. This has nothing to do with…”

“Then what?” Ray placed a shaky hand on her thigh. “What’s wrong?”

Felicity crossed her arms over her chest and simply breathed in and out not wanting to answer him.

“Something is wrong, isn’t it?”

She shook her head adamantly and set her chin in a determined fashion. “Nothing is wrong. I am fine and I want to continue this trip.”

Ray looked at her face. “Tell me what’s wrong. Tell me now or I will be the complete pervert who raises your shirt and looks at your breast while you’re sleeping Felicity Meghan Smoak. And you know I will. Tell me.”

When the look in her eyes turned to defeat Ray waited patiently. “I’m not going home. No matter what you say, I’m not. I need this trip.”

“What are you talking about?” Ray questioned again.

Felicity closed her eyes for a moment and then opened them again as she raised her tank top above her right breast, exposing it to his sight. She silently took his hand and placed his fingertips over the area of the lump and pressed against it.

It took a moment before her dear friend realized what she was doing. When he felt the pebble like nodule underneath her skin his eyes widened. “What is that Felicity? Is that...is that a lump in your breast?” His breath quickened at the thought.

He withdrew his hand slowly and Felicity lowered her top to cover herself once more. 

Ray wasn’t sure what to say. But he saw her nervous, quiet self take over the playful, happy person that had just been there before.

“You should have a doctor…” he started after several minutes.

“No. I don’t want a doctor. Not here. And I told you I’m not going home. Not yet. I want to enjoy this time before I worry about _anything else_, including…_this.” _She purposefully poked her breast.

“But Felicity…” He tried an even softer tone and she still balked. 

“Why don’t you go on over to your room and rest? We’re going kayaking tomorrow.” Her voice hinted at tears, her facial expression anger, and her hands shook with nervousness.

“I’m not leaving you alone,” Ray shook his head. “Not right now.”

Felicity climbed off the bed without a word and went back into the bathroom. She proceeded to change back into the shirt, shorts and socks that she had worn throughout the day. When she came back out Ray was sitting nervously on the bed.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“I need to take a walk,” she said simply and sat down to put her hiking boots on.

“Felicity,” Ray stood in front of her blocking the door.

“Don’t,” she spoke without looking at him while she tied her boot.

“Ok, then I’m coming with you,” he declared and put his hands on his hips.

Felicity stood up toe to toe against him.

“It’s 10 o’clock at night,” Ray tried to stand his ground. “We are in Portugal, Felicity. You don’t need to be wandering around a foreign city in a foreign country…”

“Fine,” Felicity lied purposefully, “I’ll go to the bar down the street. I need a drink. I need some time alone Ray,” she finally looked up into his eyes with a blaze that he knew well. She meant what she was telling him – at least part of it. And for any hope of this situation getting better, he should listen.

“I’m going to start looking for flights…” Ray attempted and got an even meaner glare from the petite blonde.

“I’m _not_ going home,” Felicity spoke succinctly.

And with that she turned and pushed past him and out the door.

Ray felt his heart drop to his stomach. His head and entire body was pounding with the throb of fear and anxiety for the woman who just escaped his sight.

He swallowed and tried to think about his current options:

1) He could go in search of her – knowing the bar was not where he would find her.

2) He could make plane reservations and try to force her to leave against her will – probably not the grandest idea in his playbook.

Or…

3) He could call the one person in the world who could talk her into doing anything – she readily admitted it.

Ray picked up Felicity’s phone which had dropped onto the floor. He looked at her screensaver…now a picture of Dali and Ollie. Then he unlocked the device and chose the option that would work and yet break his heart. 

He called up Oliver’s number and waited for the phone to ring.

* * *

**What If – Chapter 4**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your reviews and feeding my muse! If this chapter sparked any questions or concerns please let me know. I will do my best to respond to each review.
> 
> Chapter Five Tease:  
“What do you want from me?” Oliver finally asked in a cold but truly questioning voice.
> 
> Laurel loosened her arms slightly, her shoulders drooping as she looked into the face of the man that she had once loved...she thought. “I don’t know, Oliver,” she answered honestly. “The only thing I know is that I don’t want you to be with her. It’s too perfect. The two of you...neither of you deserve to... ‘win’.”  
\-----  
“There’s a lump, Oliver… in one of Felicity’s breasts… She’s found a lump and she didn’t want me to know about it. She doesn’t want to go to the doctor. She just wants to stay on this trip, away from everything. But I think this is something… I know it’s something that could be serious and she needs to consider that now rather than later.”


	5. Chapter Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The curtains covering the truth begin to roll back. It's time to face obstacles, but can they be overcome?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You will learn a few things about me as the story progresses.   
A) I love Dallas and Ray...just adore them. Yes, Oliver and Felicity are at the top of my book, but Dali and Ray have grown on me more than I expected. I hope you won't mind my overuse of them as we go along.  
and B) I'm an anxious author. My initial plan was to post a chapter every other day for several weeks. (There are 27 chapters in this story.) Now I think I'm going to post on Tuesdays, Thursdays, Saturdays and Sundays. So if you will keep me on track and please tell me to be patient with myself, I'd appreciate it!! lol!
> 
> Now...back to Portugal, and Spain...

** **

**Curved Reality:**

**What If – Chapter 5**

* * *

The cell phone rang exactly once on the bedside table. No one was in the bedroom at the time but Dali made her way toward the sound and got excited when she saw Felicity’s name next to the missed call.

“Daddy!” she yelled toward Oliver who was just finishing his shower and trying to get ready for bed.

“What, Dal?” He yelled through the locked door.

“Lis-ty tried to call you!” Her little voice sounded truly chipper at nearly 11:00PM.

Oliver held the towel against his face for a second just thinking about his daughter’s words and how to respond. Before he could say anything he heard Laurel’s voice coming into the room.

“Dallas, put Dad’s phone down. You know better than to answer his calls,” she easily began to deflate the little girl’s bubble of happiness.

“I didn’t,” Dali explained. “I just heard it ring. I knew he was in the bathroom so I just came to see who it was.”

Oliver quickly pulled on his sweatpants and came out of the bathroom. “It’s fine Dali, don’t worry about it.” He looked toward Laurel. “She knows which calls she can answer on my phone and the ones she can’t. Give her a little credit,” he reached out to his daughter and she handed him the device.

Dallas looked between her parents and could feel the tension beginning to build. “Hugs Daddy?” she offered and Oliver easily picked her up, gave her a sloppy kiss on her cheek and hugged her a little too hard.

“Daddy!” Dallas complained with a giggle. “I can’t breathe,” she laughed and Oliver grinned.

“Go get your jammies on, Babe,” Oliver instructed. “I’ll be in there to read you a story in a few minutes ok?”

Dallas nodded as he put her back on the floor. “Bring your phone. That might have been a call from Ollie Llama. I don’t wanna miss those.”

Oliver nodded at his daughter and threw in a loving wink. He knew Felicity wouldn’t be calling for Dali at 11PM and wondered why she _might_ be calling. But he quickly brushed that thought aside because he knew Felicity was still trying to come to terms with everything right now...which is why she was in Portugal… and, the fact that his wife was still eyeing him with arms crossed across her chest apparently required his attention.

“What?” He looked at Laurel, raised his eyebrows and inquired simply.

“She’s still calling you?” The edge in Laurel’s voice got to him more than her actual question.

It took everything in him not to roll his eyes at her. Instead he simply took in a deep breath, looked at her and considered his response.

“Probably a butt dial,” he said with as little expression as possible. Then he turned to return his phone to the bedside table next to the lamp and plugged in the charger.

“There’s no need for her to call you anymore, Oliver. She’s with Ray and you are here with me and Dali. You know where your focus needs to be. You had your time with her Saturday night. I hope you got it out of your system,” Laurel turned her back on him as she went toward the dresser in the room to pull out her own night clothes.

“What are you talking about?” Oliver’s tone faltered slightly with her accusing words.

“I know you slept with her while we were in London. I’m not a complete idiot Oliver. I know you aren’t over her and it’ll take time for you to get over her…”

Oliver’s jaw set as he watched her gather her clothing and move toward the bathroom. “I am not even going to argue with you about this. But for the record, _Felicity_… Felicity stopped me from making a fool of myself in London. She and I talked. And Laurel, I don’t know what kind of game you’re playing with her, but it stops _now._”

Laurel turned the water on in the bathroom, considering what he was saying but not really caring about it. She took another moment, washing her face and closed the door to change her clothes. When she came out she looked at her husband who had sat down on the bed and was aimlessly flipping through channels on the television.

“You want to talk about games?” She stood beside him again with arms crossed across her chest. It had become a normal stance for Laurel in front of Oliver, always on the defensive. “Your _daughter_ is caught up in your _game_, Oliver. The game where your little _whore _is practically another member of our family. Dallas calls her _aunt_ and the two of you spend the night together with our daughter right there in the next bedroom. Don’t talk to me about games!” She attempted not to yell.

Oliver’s eyes blazed with a glistening of tears sliding over them. “Don’t you _ever_… Don’t _EVER_ refer to her that way!!” He clenched his fists and pulled himself to the edge of the bed. “You seem to forget that _you_ gave your blessing. You didn’t want to sleep with me or have sex with me. You wanted me at home being a husband but you haven’t wanted to be my _wife_ for years now. When Felicity came into my life it was a God-send. You admitted that yourself. The idea of me making love to her satisfied you perfectly.”

He took a moment to reflect on the fact that everything they were both saying was just...wrong. But he would never consider his relationship with Felicity anything more than what he had said, a God-send. She was a co-worker, then a friend, a confidante, and then, she was the love of his life. 

She was never his _lover_. He detested the word mistress. His mind swirled with the thoughts of just how Felicity had helped his world make sense when his wife showed practically no interest in him at all...as a husband or lover.

In the silence, Oliver looked up at Laurel who stood there waiting for him to say anything else. She didn’t argue with him over what he said. How could she? She was infuriated by the fact that he had found someone else and fallen in love with a woman that could give him more than she could - except, she had given him Dali.

“What do you want from me?” Oliver finally asked in a cold but truly questioning voice.

Laurel loosened her arms slightly, her shoulders drooping as she looked into the face of the man that she had once loved...she thought. “I don’t know, Oliver,” she answered honestly. “The only thing I know is that I don’t want you to be with her. It’s too perfect. The two of you...neither of you deserve to... ‘win’.” She said the word and shook her head.

“I am at home with our daughter. I listen to her talk about Daddy and _Felicity._ I won’t let you turn that woman into Dal’s mother. Dallas is _our_ child, Oliver. She is me and you and I will not let her forget that. And as long as I can, I will make sure our family is the three of us.”

“In a love-less marriage, Laurel?” Oliver shook his head. “You would rather have Dali living in a home with a mother and father who don’t love each other than having another woman in her life who can show her what a loving relationship really is?”

Laurel stood firm. But the words had finally been spoken. ‘_Loveless’_ Her _husband_ just used that word to describe their marriage.

She bit on the inside of her lip trying to decide what should happen next.

“If you fight me on this,” she swallowed and determined to keep her voice low, calm and even, “I will make sure Dali stays in my custody. If you ask for a divorce I will fight you for full custody. I told Felicity that months ago. That’s why she left, Oliver. She’s a smart woman and must really love you. If the roles were reversed I doubt I would make the same choice.”

“You can’t be serious,” Oliver eyed her now feeling like a caged animal. “_YOU_ are the reason? You threatened Felicity? This was all your doing????” His eyes shot daggers through the fire that lit in them. “I cannot believe this… You would try to keep my own daughter away from me because I’ve fallen in love with someone else?”

Oliver watched as Laurel’s face turned even more defiant and nodded at him with hateful assurance.

“I would keep your daughter away from you because the woman you’ve fallen in love with is breaking up our family. And I won’t stand for her to become a mother to Dallas...step-mom or otherwise,” Laurel stepped toward the bathroom once more with a hint of tears in her eyes.

“Felicity would never try to take your place as Dali’s mother, Laurel. You know that.” Oliver had to get that fact into open air. He took a deep breath and looked at the back of her head. Anger, frustration and hurt were running through his body.

So many questions had just been answered in his mind. And yet that left so many more that started simply with “What the hell could he do to keep Felicity in his life…”

“I’m going to go tuck Dali in,” he said as his only completely clear thought. “And then I’m going to sleep on the couch.”

Laurel looked over her shoulder at him. She had shown him her full hand of cards. Something she certainly hadn’t planned to do on this vacation. She hadn’t planned to do it at all, with the hopes that Felicity’s absence would turn something around in their marriage.

That, obviously, wasn’t going to happen now. But she was determined to keep her word. She didn’t want Felicity in their lives. She didn’t want her around Dali, in particular. And even if it was just a marriage in name only, she would keep it...because right now, she could.

\-----

Ray let the phone ring exactly one time and then hung up, praying Oliver wouldn’t call back immediately. What the hell was he expecting to say to this man when he answered the phone? 

_“Hey Oliver, so I found this lump in Felicity’s breast…” _or _“Oliver, Mate, Felicity’s run off because she’s sick and I just let her go…”_

Good Lord. The dark headed man sat back on the bed in Felicity’s room trying to clear his head and figure out what he was supposed to do. 

If Felicity had come to him over the weekend and said she was running away with Oliver he would have begrudgingly handed over his ticket and travel agenda. Had she told him she changed her mind and wanted to continue with their show he would have congratulated her and supported her decision.

But to be faced with something that was potentially a life or death situation for one of his most beloved friends, a woman that he would practically give his own life for… What the hell was he supposed to do?

She obviously didn’t want to think about the medical repercussions. When had this began? If she had known about it before their trip began...would she be here now? He thought carefully about that. If she had discovered this lump before even the first leg of their trip she would likely be under medical care already. Even if she found it and chose to ignore it...she wouldn’t have invited him to be intimate with her - and they had been intimate… She and Oliver had obviously been close to making love over the weekend. Did he not know about this or discover it himself?

No...if Oliver knew about it Felicity wouldn’t be god-knows-where right now. She would probably be back in the states awaiting care from her own physician.

Ray sighed and ran a hand across his face. He was sweating. The weight of all of this was beginning to bear down on him. 

He stepped into the bathroom and used a washcloth to wipe cool water over his face and neck. Felicity was the focus here. 

He went back to the bed and picked up her phone again. He still didn’t know what he was going to say if Oliver answered the call. But he knew he had to make it. As close as Ray was to this woman, he knew Oliver was closer. And, even if this call ended in a yelling argument, Oliver needed to know.

With one glance at the clock, confirming it was now after 11 and Felicity had been gone longer than _he_ wanted, Ray hit the button again and waited.

_“Hey there,” _Oliver’s soft voice answered after the second ring. _“I just put Dal in bed. Are you okay? It’s late.”_

“Oliver,” Ray’s voice was tired, “it’s Ray…Palmer. Can I talk with you a moment?”

Oliver sighed with numerous questions filling his mind. _“Ray, I swear if you’re calling to say anything about my relationship with Felicity I will fucking kill you.”_

Ray pulled the phone away from his ear for a split second wondering what had happened in Oliver’s world to cause that kind of reaction.

“_Where’s Felicity? Why are you calling from her phone?”_ Oliver dropped the expletives but continued questioning their friend.

“Listen, Oliver,” Ray now felt nervous but still sure he was making the right call. “Felicity and I had a chat tonight and a couple of things came about that I think you need to be aware of.”

_"The fact that my wife is trying to force her out of my life? I’m now keenly aware of that,” _Oliver paused.

“No,” Ray said sullenly. “I wish that was the issue…” his voice drifted into thought again.

_“Where’s Felicity?”_ Oliver asked again. 

“She went out…” Ray thought he would at least state this completely truthfully. “She said she needed a drink.”

_“At 11 o’clock at night...in Portugal? And you let her go?” _Oliver countered.

“At 11 o’clock at night...in Portugal. She’s a strong willed woman. _Letting_ her go wasn’t an option. She went… after…” he paused, still trying to find the words he needed.

“_After what?_” Oliver sat up on the couch trying to focus on the phone call and not the worry that was beginning to form in his stomach.

“After…” Ray ran his hand through his hair and blew a breath out through his lips. “We went hiking today. Came back and we were fooling around here on the bed…” he decided to just walk through the past hours.

_“I’m sorry, you were WHAT?”_ Oliver interrupted. _“Did you hurt her?” _

There was the growl of a voice that Ray had expected at some point.

“Will you please let me get through this?” he requested. “No, I did not hurt her. No, we were not fooling around like that. Yes, there was a point we were wrestling around and she cried out because her breast had been squeezed…”

Oliver’s face contorted not wanting to think about Ray touching Felicity in any way. He had let those thoughts get the best of him days before.

_“What are you trying to tell me?” _He needed to know why this man was using Felicity’s phone to call _him._

“There’s a lump, Oliver… in one of Felicity’s breasts… She’s found a lump and she didn’t want me to know about it. She doesn’t want to go to the doctor. She just wants to stay on this trip, away from everything. But I think this is something… I know it’s something that could be serious and she needs to consider that now rather than later.”

Oliver sat forward, his elbows leaning on his knees as he considered what Ray was saying. He put his free hand over his mouth and again felt his stomach starting to churn.

_“Make her go to the doctor. Ray, just make her go back home and go see her doctor.”_

“She won’t,” Ray knew he understood. “I’ll be surprised if she even will talk to me about it at all when she comes back. She wants to ignore it. She wants to go on like there’s nothing wrong. I know I can’t get through to her.”

Oliver breathed in and out slowly. _“What do you think I can do?”_

“Call her. Talk to her. Tell her I called you, I don’t care. But tell her not to ignore this. Oliver, she means too much to me to just let this drop. Do you think I want to be on the phone with _you_ in the middle of our vacation? She’s told me before that she would do anything, go anywhere for _you…_ You are the one she will listen to about this. Please… in the morning, call her. Tell her not to ignore this. She means too much to both of us. I know she does.”

Ray and Oliver both went silent as Oliver let the gravity of the situation set in. Ray waited for some sort of response. He knew Oliver wouldn’t ignore this.

_“I love her,”_ Oliver finally said to his friend.

“I know,” Ray responded. “And she loves you. You have her heart, Oliver. That’s why I’m hoping she will listen to you about this. Please. Call her.”

_“Where is she now?”_ Oliver asked, much more softly.

“She left when I confronted her about the lump. She said she needed to be alone and claimed she was going to get a drink at the bar down the street. She’s been gone almost an hour. I’m scared that if I take out looking for her then she’ll come back here and I’ll be gone. But I don’t want her wandering around alone. I don’t know what the fuck to do.”

Oliver breathed out. He couldn’t be angry at Ray. Felicity was her own woman. And if she was angry or confused she probably did need some time alone to clear her head. He thought for a moment about the next couple of days. A phone conversation wasn’t going to work...it might make her think, but she probably wouldn’t act on it.

“_She’ll come back. You know Lici. She doesn’t like to be out past midnight or so in a strange area. Just wait for her and be there for her. I’ll call in the morning first thing. Make sure she answers?” _Oliver requested.

Ray let out a small sigh of relief. “We have separate rooms. I can’t promise you I’ll be with her when you call. I tried to make her answer your calls in London. You can tell how effective I am,” he pouted lightly.

_“Fair enough,” _Oliver sighed.

The two men sat for another minute without saying anything before Oliver started regaining his senses.

_“Ray,” _he paused just a second. _“Thank you for calling me. If I had found out she was going through this from somebody else...months down the road...I need to know. Whether she wants me to or not.”_

Ray nodded his agreement. “We’ll hear from you tomorrow then?” he just wanted to confirm.

_“Yes, you will.”_

Goodbyes were said and both men hung up the phones. Ray worked to breathe in and out just a few times as he stared at the door, willing Felicity to come back.

Oliver sat on the couch, tears forming in his eyes. He hurt for Felicity, now on an even deeper level. 

He despised the woman who was his wife - she was keeping him from being with Felicity at this very moment. And he wondered how he was going to calibrate his life before it completely shook him to the core.

* * *

**What If – Chapter 5**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and for your reviews!
> 
> Chapter Six Tease:  
Oliver suddenly felt the tears running down his cheeks. It didn’t take a lot more thought to come to a conclusion. There was no way in hell he was going to let Felicity ignore this. And, there was no way in hell his wife was going to come between him and the woman he loved - or his daughter. 
> 
> “Need to talk to you. Fought with Laurel. I know the truth. I’m calling you ... Felicity, answer my call...or I’m coming to Portugal.”


	6. Chapter Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As reality begins to set in, so does the truth in their minds and hearts. And yet there are still too many questions about dealing with that truth and the all-too-real feelings of separation anxiety.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You could call this...the morning after...at a hostel somewhere in Portugal.

** **

**Curved Reality:**

**What If – Chapter 6**

* * *

Ray’s alarm went off at 5:30AM. He wasn’t quite sure why he had set it that early except for the fact that he knew he wouldn’t sleep anyway, and he wanted to make sure that Felicity hadn’t packed her things and left, completely.

She had come back to her room shortly before 1AM. Ray had relied on Oliver’s words that she didn’t like to be roaming around in a strange area for too long by herself. At 1AM he was practically crawling out of his skin.

He had offered to stay with her, sleep on the floor beside the bed, simply be with her but she had calmly yet firmly told him to go to his own room.

He wasn’t used to a Felicity like this. The quiet woman in his presence was contemplating issues that his heart couldn’t completely comprehend. As much as he wanted to help he didn’t know how. But he wanted to be there for her.

He didn’t dare mention to her anything about his conversation with Oliver. That would come about soon enough. And that was his other thought. If Oliver tried to catch her off guard by waking her with a phone call, maybe Ray could simply answer it and hand her the phone to take away any options.

He lay there, debating what to do for several minutes until the soft knock sounded outside his door. Ray grabbed his t-shirt off the floor where he had tossed it when he attempted to get some rest and threw it over his head as he sat up and unlocked his door.

Felicity looked at him without a word when the space opened between them. Ray opened the door wider and reached out his hand, taking hers and pulling her into his room. He quickly sat back down on the bed and looked at her without smiling.

“I’m sorry,” Felicity looked at the floor and spoke with a deep, gravelly voice telling him she had cried. “About running out last night by myself… I know you were worried. I guess I was kind of aiming for that. I wanted you to be worried about something besides this...whatever it is...that’s in me.”

“Felicity,” Ray looked at her with concern in his eyes. “We need to get you back home. You need to have...I don’t know, x-rays or mammogram or...whatever women need to have…” he watched as she shook her head.

“I haven’t changed my mind about that,” she informed him. “And I don’t want to argue about it. I have other stuff that I need to clear out of my head and my heart before I turn around and jump into this. I want to finish our trip and I want to focus on anything _but_ this,” she stated with conviction.

“But, Felicity!” Ray tried.

“Nah! No. Don’t. If you want to argue about this you can pack up and go back home without me. I’m staying here. And we aren’t going to discuss this,” she looked at him with a dead serious expression.

“Will you at least acknowledge that this is something serious that you need to take care of, Love. I can’t move forward until I know that you aren’t ignoring this, Felicity, please.” Ray stood up toe to toe with her.

“I’m not ignoring it. I’m well aware that it’s there.” That was where her words ended regarding the pellet of hardness that she was now hyper-sensitive to every time her fingers, arm or hand came in contact with it.

Ray decided to accept that answer. He knew if he pushed too hard she would again be wandering the streets and he would likely have worn out his welcome on this trip. Oliver’s upcoming call would likely do that, so perhaps it would be best for him to just shut up about it now. 

“Listen,” he pointed toward the bed. “Can we just lie down and maybe try to sleep a little more? It’s 5:30 in the god-forsaken morning. I don’t know about you but I didn’t sleep last night.”

Felicity hesitated for a moment and still didn’t smile at him. “What kept you from sleeping?”

Ray tilted his head and refused to give her an answer.

“Fine. Let me go get my phone…”

Ray looked at her and pointed toward the door with his index finger. She could retrieve her device which would serve the purpose perfectly. After that, he didn’t want to let her out of his sight.

\------

Oliver was awake at 5:30 in Spain. He recalled a couple of mornings when he had awaken this early simply because Felicity was beside him and he spent an hour just watching her sleep. He thought about waking this early on numerous days because one or the other of them had to be in makeup in the wee hours of the morning.

And he wondered about an upcoming time when, possibly, she may need to be heading to a medical facility for a treatment. That made him sit up on the couch cushions. 

He truly could not wrap his mind or heart around the things Ray had told him last night. He started wondering some of the things that Felicity’s current travel mate had thought… _When did she find this lump? Why wasn’t she seeing a doctor? Why wasn’t he there with her?_

Well, that last particular question had been running through his mind since the weekend. Laurel had referenced the previous Saturday night...she thought he and Felicity had slept together that night. 

He knew why she thought that. It was because after sending Dali to bed he had climbed into bed beside his wife, wrapped his arms around her sleeping body and pressed his erection, fully clothed, against her hip. He realized, in trying to relieve his pressure...which did _not_ happen...he probably said Felicity’s name.

_God, he needed to put those thoughts out of his mind…_ But Oliver couldn’t help sitting there, thinking about the many times that he had handled, kissed, sucked on her breasts. He couldn’t help reacting to the thought of their naked chests pressed together, his fingers kneading her supple flesh and flicking over her nipples as they hardened at his touch.

He didn’t want anyone else touching his Felicity that way. He didn’t want to think about Ray even laying a hand on her breast...although Oliver knew he had. He knew - Felicity had told him - of their intimate contact. Frankly, he hated it. But, he could be more content with their couplings than others that had passed through Felicity’s life.

Oliver wasn’t stupid. He knew his relationship with her wasn’t monogamous. He was married, for Christ’s sake. There was no way he could ask her to be his alone - although he had, numerous times. Still he knew better. 

And yet others might soon be touching her...what if she had to lose her breast. How would that affect her? He wouldn’t care. He made that point clear to himself without any question. As much as he adored her anatomy, he could live without her breast - if she could - as long as he still had her.

He pushed a breath through his nose quickly. He tried to put other thoughts together in his mind. Darting back to his argument with his wife, he thought about the previous season of their show, their shooting schedule, Felicity’s change in attitude and Laurel’s.

Had he truly been that dense? Had he really not been able to see through his wife’s veiled threats and actions? 

In prior years, Laurel had invited Felicity into their home. They had traveled together and she had even made room arrangements that gave Oliver and Felicity access to one another. Their growing relationship wasn’t hidden from Mrs. Queen.

As he thought back, Oliver realized now that Laurel’s attitude changed when Felicity took more of an interest in Dallas and Dali’s interest in theater. That was Felicity’s background...musical theater. 

It had been a perfect combination. Felicity had the chance to share her talents with Dali and Oliver’s daughter had jumped at the opportunity. He listened to the two of them singing together, running lines together and talking about performances.

Felicity brought roses to Dali at the first performance she could attend and showered the little girl with praise fit for a Broadway veteran. 

Oliver’s heart had beat even harder for Felicity as her relationship with Dali expanded. Watching the two of them together; being able to put his arm around Felicity, kiss her cheek or forehead or lips right there in front of his daughter...it was the most familial feeling he had experienced in years. And one that he didn’t want to end.

But it did...or at least it was sure in the process of ending. Now he could see that and it was as though he had been sucker punched over and over and over again.

Then, to top it all off, the woman he loved was currently in another country with another man and trying to ignore a medical issue because she was too busy trying to keep her mind and heart occupied with anything besides him.

The entire situation was simply wrong.

Oliver suddenly felt the tears running down his cheeks. It didn’t take a lot more thought to come to a conclusion. There was no way in hell he was going to let Felicity ignore this. And, there was no way in hell his _wife_ was going to come between him and the woman he loved - or his daughter. 

He looked at the time on his phone. 6:30AM was too early to call her but he was devising a plan in his head to make sure she answered a little later. 

_“Need to talk to you. Fought with Laurel. I know the truth. I’m calling you at 7:30AM. Felicity, answer my call...or I’m coming to Portugal.”_

Oliver leaned back against the couch cushions and tried to close his eyes. As much as he wanted to talk to her he wasn’t looking forward to this conversation. And, truth be told, whether she answered or not, he was going to Portugal.

\-----

Ray rolled over when he heard the phone buzz on the nightstand. Felicity had successfully fallen asleep on his shoulder which was at least giving him some momentary peace and relaxation. 

She had come back with her phone, taken off the long sleeved t-shirt she was wearing and climbed into the bed with him donning a loose camisole and her silky llama pajama pants. 

Ray had closed his eyes for a few minutes at least until the blessed electronic woke him up. He reached carefully over top of Felicity to get the buzzing thing and quickly pulled it to his side of the bed where he could try to focus on the screen.

_Incoming Text - Oliver Sloth_

He rolled his eyes. God only knew how she had Ray listed in her contacts. He didn’t read the message Oliver just sent but he figured it was some kind of preemptive strike to make sure she answered later.

As he shifted his arm slightly under her head trying to get comfortable again, Felicity began humming slightly in her sleep. Ray smiled at first and then as the sound seemed to become more than just a random noise he listened closely.

_Baby Dali… Ollie wants to come home...he won’t get to see you if he stays with me...needs to live with you. No...can’t see you...stay with your mom and dad. I love you…_

Ray slowly took in a breath. _Good Lord, she’s dealing with thoughts of letting both Oliver and Dali go, a complete change of pace in her work, and now a health scare. No wonder she just wanted to be away for a while. _

He really couldn’t imagine what she was going through or if she had any idea how to reconcile everything. 

The pending move to New York, even temporarily, would be an additional headache, but one that might take her mind off the situation with Oliver and Dali. Thinking back to Felicity and Dali’s connection at the weekend conference; coupling that with the dream state he was now witnessing; Ray was just beginning to see how much of a connection Felicity had forged with this little girl. 

He got the feeling this separation was already heartbreaking with the potential for even more. But as Felicity’s sleep-talking turned to quiet mumbles Ray found a way to close his eyes to try and rest before she truly needed him again.

\-----

They both woke about a half hour later when Felicity’s phone buzzed again with the unread text message. She moved her body around, comfortable to have a set of arms around her at the moment, even if they weren’t Oliver’s. 

When Ray began to stir as well she sat up, leaned down and placed a kiss on his cheek. She then reached over him and retrieved her phone that he had obviously moved away from her.

“I appreciate you being here. Have I said that enough?” Felicity looked around until she found the t-shirt she’d been wearing earlier and covered herself a little more modestly.

“You don’t need to,” Ray also sat up and looked at her while she began focusing on her phone.

“Well shit,” she sighed heavily.

“What’s that?” Ray asked curiously.

“Apparently Laurel found some reason to come clean about the whole mess. Well, I assume that’s what this means…” she turned the screen around for Ray to see and read Oliver’s text.

They both looked at the clock. It was almost 7:30 already. Felicity sighed.

“He would do that, wouldn’t he?” Ray asked seriously.

“What?” Felicity wondered as she read the message a third and fourth time.

“He would come to Portugal if you don’t talk to him. I mean, they’re in Spain now, right? So it’d be like going from Vancouver to LA and he would do that.” He watched as Felicity tossed her phone back on the bed and crossed her arms across her belly.

“It’s closer than LA to Vancouver and yes...he would do that. He has done that,” Felicity answered.

She recalled more than one time that he had hopped a flight from one place or the other… It wasn’t always because she needed him for something. That may have happened once. Usually it was because they just needed and missed each other. That thought made her smile.

\-----

_Her girlfriends had gotten tired of her complaining that Oliver had been shirtless all week long on the set and yet Felicity hadn’t gotten the opportunity to have her hands on his sweaty chest at all. _

_Everyone of them except Felicity pretended to gag at that thought with her raising her eyebrows and giving them a truthful, “Hey, don’t knock it till you try it!” reaction._

_“You’re the one who wants to try it, knock it, tap it, ride it…” Catherine prodded._

_“Hey!” Felicity stopped her with a laugh practically admitting that she had done just that._

_They looked at her with wide eyes, finally, and pointed her to the bedroom with her phone in hand. “Will you just go call him already?” Ava had exclaimed. “The man plays my brother for fuck’s sake. You wanting to have sex with him on screen or off just …”_

_“Just what?” Felicity had asked with a bit of attitude. _  
  
_“Makes me all warm and tingly inside!” Ava had laughed and scrunched her nose while Catherine and two others grinned from ear to ear._

_“This is bizarre though, right?” Felicity asked for their take on the freshly blooming affair._  
  
_“That’s one word for it,” Catherine rolled her eyes. “But if Laurel doesn’t want her hands on THAT?? Whew!” she blew out a breath. “Dear God, Felicity, you and Oliver have so much more chemistry than he does with Laurel. It’s obvious. I hate to say it, since he’s married to her and all but...yeah.”_

_Felicity tapped the phone against her hand. They were telling her to call him...stress relief via phone, or at least some teasing. She chewed on her bottom lip for another minute as the other women talked about how lucky she was to have this particular man in her grasp - in more ways than one._

_“Go, call him!” They finally ordered her. _  
  
_She had gone into her bedroom and for the first time in their growing relationship she had told Oliver that she missed him...missed their physical contact and missed being with him. It had turned into an hour-long phone call, just talking._

_Felicity’s friends hadn’t believed her when she told them they talked for that long. But, they had all been there the next afternoon following their sleepover, when Oliver had unexpectedly arrived at Felicity’s door and told her he needed more than just a phone conversation._

_He had flown back to Vancouver from LA following their chat because he wanted to continue it in person and missed her as well._

_The friends had witnessed the kiss he gave her without hesitation and the fact that his hands quickly traveled south to grope her shapely backside. And when that kiss ended minutes later to the dumbfounded faces staring at them from the living room floor, Oliver had been very polite when he invited them to stay. _

_“But,” he pointed toward Felicity’s bedroom. “We’re gonna be right in there and whatever you can hear...you can hear.”_

_All four of the women had quickly gathered their belongings and didn’t even make up an excuse for leaving. It was blatantly obvious. Each of them smiled as they left. _

_They envied the blush on Felicity’s face, the way Oliver stood behind her with his arms wrapped tightly around her waist, the smile that was completely genuine on her lips, and the fact that this man was falling head-over-heels in love with their dear friend._

_\-----_

She was rudely pulled from that memory by the phone ringing on the bed. Felicity looked at Ray and pressed her lips together. She and Oliver had come a long way since that sleepover interruption incident. So much had happened and apparently he now knew the truth about her distance over the past year and her reasoning for trying to completely break away from him.

Ray pointed toward the door. “Do you want me to go?”

Felicity sucked her top lip into her mouth and nibbled on it. “No,” she stared for another second at the screen.

“Felicity, you have to answer him. I’ll make the same threat I made in London. If you don’t answer that phone, I will.” Ray now felt like an older brother attempting to take charge of his younger sister.

Felicity took another deep breath and nodded. She sat down on the bed and picked up the ringing equipment. She hit the talk button, stopping the music of Oliver’s ringtone and put the phone to her ear.

“Oliver, I love you...I can explain…”

* * *

**What If – Chapter 6**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Please let me know what you think by leaving a review or kudos! All are appreciated! <3
> 
> Chapter 7 Tease:  
I’m not walking away, Felicity,” Oliver finally said. 
> 
> “What?” Felicity shot back, less forcefully than her previous words.
> 
> “I’m not going to walk away from you. I don’t want you to go through this alone and I won’t let you. You’re scared that Ray and I are going to abandon you? That is not why we want you to come back home. We just… Felicity, we care about you. We love you,” he tried his best to speak to her heart as simply as he could.


	7. Chapter Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Can a phone call lead to healing or just more pain? Each one has their own ideas of what is best, but who is right - are any of them?

** **

**Curved Reality:**

**What If – Chapter 7**

* * *

Oliver’s hand shook slightly as he heard her voice on the other end. He had completely expected to get her voice mail and had planned to hang up and call Ray’s phone with a demand to talk to her.

Instead it was her voice on the other end, saying ‘I love you.’

He needed to hear that. And with those three little words, all of his thoughts, words and intentions went out the window.

When he didn’t say anything Felicity continued talking with the first things that came to her mind.

“I - I couldn’t stand - I _can’t _stand the thought of Laurel taking Dali from you. I know she can tie things up in court and I won’t be the cause of you not seeing your daughter, Oliver. I love both of you too much to let that happen.

So I needed to get away and Patrick gave the very best option. The play...you know I love this show and I love the production company and it’s just...it’s a great way for me to just slide out of the picture...that’s the best thing for all of us...you keep doing what you’re doing and… and… and…”

Her voice broke as she sat down on the bed wondering what he was thinking on the other end of the line. 

Ray watched the tears drip slowly from her eyes and also wondered if Oliver had said a word to her, yet. Felicity had gone into this soliloquy of sorts and her friend knew it was something that must have been playing in her head for months.

In the neighboring country Oliver sat listening to her words unwilling to accept any of them, especially since he hadn’t even spoken to her yet.

_“Felicity…”_ he tried to interject. _“Lici, stop a minute!”_ he raised his voice only slightly knowing his wife and daughter were still asleep in their bedrooms. Oliver stopped her rambling ‘and’s’ and was happy that she paused.

_“I love you, too,”_ he said simply. He heard her tears through the phone line. _“Hey, don’t cry, I’m not mad. I couldn’t be mad at you about this. You know that.”_

Felicity used the heel of her palm to wipe the dampness from under her eyes and nose. 7:30AM was too early to be crying but she knew this was an inevitable situation that she had put off for far too long.

“She said if I didn’t stay away from you...and Dali...she would take Dali completely away from you. It would be my fault because I’m the _other woman_. I’m the one breaking up your family,” Felicity finally admitted the words that knocked off chunks of her heart every time she thought about them.

_“That’s not true,”_ Oliver wasn’t sure how he was keeping his voice calm, but he knew the only way he could help Felicity was with a calm head and gentle tone.

“But it is,” Felicity continued. “Our whole relationship, Oliver… It should’ve never been anything more than co-workers or friends. There was no reason…”

_“You’re wrong,”_ his calming sense somehow cut through her nerves, at least slightly. _“Felicity, when I was about to internally combust and didn’t know where to turn for a sounding board, you were there. When I was screwing up lines and couldn’t find a reason to smile because Laurel wouldn’t even touch me and my mind was in absolute chaos, you were there. You helped me focus. You helped me find me again. You helped me see that my life was going to go on. And you went along with this whole crazy mess…helping me put the pieces back together. I should’ve never pulled you into it. I put you right into the middle of my marriage mess, I’m sorry… but Lici, it’s because I fell in love with you.”_

“I love you, too,” Felicity said quietly. “But that’s just not enough anymore. Laurel… I knew she would realize how special you are. I hoped she would just ask for a divorce… But I knew that would be too simple. I got in too deep and now she wants me to just drown. So I’m out, Oliver,” she said the sentence and then pursed her lips together with a new wave of tears forming.

_“No,”_ Oliver defied her thought. _“First of all, we’re not continuing this discussion over the phone. I have a lot more that I need to say and I’m not going to say it over a phone line between two countries. We will have the rest of this conversation in person…”_

“Don’t come to Portugal,” Felicity stated firmly. “The conversation is finished, Oliver. Don’t you dare leave Laurel and Dali and try to come here. I won’t tell you where I am. You won’t find me,” her voice sounded stronger even as more tears escaped her eyes.

Ray sat down on the opposite side of the bed, reached across and placed a hand on her wrist. His stomach was turning just hearing her side of the conversation. He wondered if Oliver was becoming angry or how exactly he was handling this.

He also wanted to make sure Felicity didn’t hang up before Oliver broached the other subject of this call. Maybe it was a good thing he didn’t leave Felicity alone to talk with her loving friend.

_“Are you done?”_ Oliver asked her, his mind beginning to fill with thoughts of how that conversation would go and exactly how he would get through to her. He closed his eyes at the momentary thoughts of a fight ending with passionate kisses and promises of a continued life together.

When Felicity didn’t answer he continued. _ “First of all, Sweetheart, if I need to find you, I will. No matter where in the world you are, Lici, I will find you if I need to. Don’t ever doubt that. Second, you’re not out. I won’t accept that. I love you too much and I know you love me too. That’s why you’re trying to get away from me...and Dali...but that’s not how this is going to work. I love you, you love me and we are going to figure out a way to make this work. I’m not ignoring Laurel’s threats. But I’m not going to lose you or my daughter. You can count on that.”_

Felicity sat with her lips parted without an answer to his words. She breathed in a deep, shaky breath and closed her lips after licking them. She knew there was nothing she could say that would counter his words nor did she want to. She heard what he said and simply stayed quiet.

_“Now,”_ she heard Oliver swallow and push a breath out through his nose. She could picture him sitting wherever he was with thoughts going through his mind and trying his best to keep those thoughts in order.

“I’m sorry,” Felicity offered before he could say anything else.

Oliver breathed out again. _“You don’t need to apologize for anything, Felicity. I love you, I told you that. And… there’s something else we need to talk about.”_

“Okay,” she dipped her eyebrows wondering what else this conversation could possibly hold. If it was Oliver again trying to talk her into rejoining their show she was truly going to curse at him.

Oliver rolled his tongue around in his mouth and pressed his lips together, feeling the light scruff of a mustache tickling his lips. He looked down at his knees and the hotel blanket that still covered his thighs. He hadn’t decided how to even begin this topic so he jumped right in.

_“The lump in your breast, Felicity. You can’t ignore it.”_ He stopped in silence and waited for her reaction.

“What?” she whispered and sat up straighter on the mattress. “What are you talking about?” she ran the words together with obvious nerves building.

Oliver reiterated his words. _“You can’t ignore the lump in your breast.”_

“What the hell are you talking about?” Her voice took a turn to the deeper level that let him know she wasn’t happy about this line of conversation.

She took a moment to lower the phone and looked at Ray. “What the hell have _you _done?” Her eyes lit with fire as realization began to sink in. “Did you call him last night? That wasn’t for you to do. This is _my _body, _my _life.”

Ray nodded like a guilty child caught in the act of something forbidden. He climbed off the bed and took a step toward the door. “I’ll be outside,” he stated with an apologetic look on his face. “For what it’s worth, I’m on Oliver’s side of this argument. And, I think you know that.”

He closed the door behind him then slid down to the floor, sitting just outside of the room. He didn’t want to take the chance of Felicity running away. Ray halfway expected to hear her phone fly across the room with a scream and for her to leave the hostel completely without any of her belongings.

“I’m hanging up now,” Felicity spoke to Oliver, enunciating each word to make sure he understood.

_“That’s fine,”_ Oliver called out in case she really had put the phone down. _“But if you do, I’ll get the next flight to Portugal and like I said, Felicity, I’ll find you. I’m not playing games with this.”_

“Oliver,” her deep tone was actually something he found quite sexy about her - but now wasn’t the time for those thoughts. “I’m serious. My body, my life. I will make decisions about getting medical care and taking care of myself.”  
  
_“Only you aren’t, obviously,”_ Oliver cut into her speech. _“How long have you known about this Felicity? When did you find the lump. And when were you going to tell me about it? Did you think I wouldn’t find it - eventually? Did you think you were going to run off to New York and just handle this on your own?”_

“There’s _nothing _to handle, Oliver!” Felicity’s decibel rose to the point Ray could finally hear her in the hallway. “I will decide when to go to the doctor _if_ I reach that point.”

_“That’s not an option, Felicity.”_ His voice began to match hers, fully prepared to carry out at least a portion of this argument right now. _“You can’t pretend that it’s going to go away and everything will be fine. You can’t just will it to go away. And you’re right, it’s your body, your life but I’m in your life. Ray is part of your life and we are not going to stand by and watch you ignore this.”_

“I am _not_ ignoring this. God, what is it with you two? Are you suddenly best friends, discussing my breast health? I fucking well know there’s a lump in my breast. Don’t you think I feel it now every time I take a shower and change clothes? You don’t realize that the first time I touched it I wondered if you would’ve found it Saturday night if we had gotten further than we did in that alcove. I’ve had nightmares since then, Oliver, that you were making love to me and then just stopped because of this knot...this lump...whatever the hell it is that’s decided to show up inside of me.

I can’t ignore it. It’s in _me_ for God’s sake. You can walk away from it. You and Ray. You can look at me like some sick woman. You can walk away from me and just let me deal with it. Neither one of you have to live with it. I do! I just want Ray to finish this fucking trip with me and not look at me like I’m helpless or dying.

But that’s what this shit is doing to me Oliver. He’s looking at me as though I’m going to keel over if I don’t go to the hospital right now. You’re talking to me like I don’t know what I need to do. I know, okay! I _fucking know _what I need to do. Just let me come to terms with this first, will you? Don’t double team me. Don’t make me feel like I’m a child. I just...I just need time to clear my head.”

The minute of silence when she stopped talking was pure torture to Oliver. All he wanted to do was take her in his arms and hold her. Even if he couldn’t tell her it would all be okay, he just wanted to have his arms around her.

_“I’m not walking away, Felicity,”_ Oliver finally said. 

“What?” Felicity shot back, less forcefully than her previous words.

_“I’m not going to walk away from you. I don’t want you to go through this alone and I won’t let you. You’re scared that Ray and I are going to abandon you? That is not why we want you to come back home. We just… Felicity, we care about you. We love you. And you know they always say these situations are easier to deal with when things are caught early…”_ he tried his best to speak to her heart as simply as he could.

“It’s two weeks, Oliver. What difference is two weeks going to make? I’ll be back in Los Angeles before I leave for New York. I’ll get an appointment and get it checked out while I’m in LA,” she tried to explain.

_“No you won’t,”_ Oliver argued. _“You’re going to Vancouver to see your mom and then you’re heading to New York from there. Don’t make me call Donna and tell her about this, Felicity.”_

“You damn prick!” Felicity yelled. “I don’t have a suicide pact. I will get this checked out. I just don’t see the need of cutting this trip short because I’ve got something in my breast that is still going to be there when I get back. It’s obviously not going anywhere. Why should I?”

_“Ok,”_ Oliver conceded. _“Ok. You win. Finish your trip. But you have to swear to me that you’ll make an appointment before you leave Portugal. I want you to see a doctor as soon as you are back on this continent. No putting it off Felicity.”_

“My God, are you my father now? Thanks for the permission to stay a few more nights, _Dad._ Do you want me to be sure and call you with my appointment date and time so you can hold my hand and make sure I go?” she asked with pure sarcasm.

_“That’s fine,”_ Oliver’s voice faltered back to the man who simply didn’t want to lose her. He swallowed to moisten his dry throat before he continued. _“I’ll go with you if you want me to. You know that.”_

Felicity gave a loud sarcastic sigh at the thought.

_“Lici?”_ Oliver questioned if she was even still listening.

“What?” she asked sharply.

_“Don’t take this out on Ray. He did call me because he is worried about you. He was hoping I could talk you into coming back early. I know I didn’t approach this the way I should have. And I know you aren’t ready to go home. I’m just...I’m worried. You can be mad at me if you want but I love you and I’m worried. You’re going through a lot right now and I’m not helping...with any of it.”_

Felicity sighed. “I know. I _know._” She breathed out heavily. “I know both of you care about me and love me. And I do love both of you. But seriously, I need to wrap my own head around this and that’s hard to do with all the other crap that’s going on. For what it’s worth, I’m relieved that you know about the stuff with Laurel. I really am sorry but I’m not going to let you lose Dali. Not because of me. If me going away is what it takes to fix that situation then I meant what I said. I’m out.”

_“And I told you that’s a conversation we will have in person. You’re not getting rid of me that easily Felicity Smoak. You can’t think that you’ve been in my life for nearly a decade and I’m just going to let you walk out, do you? You’re not just a coworker or a friend, Felicity. You’re the love of my life. You aren’t just going to disappear.”_ Oliver held his phone as close to his cheek and ear as he possibly could as he said the words. 

He would repeat them to her face to face as soon as possible. 

“We’ll agree to disagree for now then,” Felicity said casually.

_“Do you not love me?”_ Oliver asked honestly.

“Exactly the opposite and you know it,” she said.

_“Then this conversation is to be continued. Don’t argue with me,”_ Oliver instructed.

“Fine,” Felicity finally agreed with him.

_“Is Ray still there with you?”_ Oliver wondered.

“No. Well, he’s probably just across the hall in my room,” Felicity explained. 

_“Ok,”_ Oliver considered. _“Hey, don’t run out on him again in the middle of the night, okay? You scared him.”_

“No promises,” Felicity responded. “I am capable of taking care of myself, you know?” She crossed her free arm over her stomach and leaned back against pillows at the head of the bed. 

_“I know,”_ Oliver admitted. _“I just… right now, Felicity, I would just really like to be there with you for a lot of reasons.”_

“I can handle this. We just went through this, Oliver…”

_“No, I know,”_ Oliver’s voice quieted to a practical whisper. _“I just need to hold you, Lis. The fight with Laurel and then Ray’s call last night. I just really, really need to hold you.”_

Felicity wanted badly to agree with him and yet she was using every ounce of strength to just stay silent.

_“Tell me where you are, please. Let me come to you. Let’s be together and I’ll bring you home…”_

“Stop, Oliver.” Felicity said on a frustrated sigh. “You said you understood and you’d let me be. Ray is here, Oliver. Stay with Dali. Don’t give Laurel any more ammunition.”

Admittedly, Oliver felt like a teenager whose parents wouldn’t let him take a trip with his girlfriend. While she was correct on one level, she was dead wrong on another. Felicity needed him more than she would admit. He knew it, he could feel it. She was an amazing actress but when she needed the man she loved, those vibes came directly from the heart and he could feel them across international borders.

_“I’m going to call you again in a couple of days. I need you to promise you’ll answer me,”_ Oliver requested.

“It depends on where we are. If I’m hiking up a mountain or I’m kayaking down a river I’m not gonna pick up,” she stated honestly. “Hey, I did do another video for Dali,” Felicity’s voice perked up as she remembered. “I’ll send it to you in a little bit, okay?”

_“I thought you were supposed to FaceTime her,”_ Oliver considered.

“I think it’s just going to be easier to do the videos. I’m not sure I can talk to her one on one right now. This is hard enough just talking to you…”

_“Then let me meet you…”_ He tried one more time.

“Oliver,” Felicity’s warning tone fell on deaf ears but he still reached the point of giving up, sort of.

_“Lici, I love you,”_ he said simply.

“I love you too,” she shared.

_“I’ll talk to you soon,”_ Oliver was truly trying to end the call.

“I know. Ok, bye.” Felicity slowly hit the red option on her phone. 

She heard Oliver’s _‘Love You, Bye’ _and smiled to herself. It wasn’t an assurance that anything would be okay. But hearing his voice, being able to talk to him - even if she had yelled and cursed at him - _was_ reassuring and helpful, and calming. She would never tire of talking to him and knowing he was in her corner. Even if she couldn’t have his physical presence, just hearing him say _‘I love you’_ gave her heart strength once again.

She found the video that Ray had shot the previous day for Dallas. Felicity found the file on her phone that her friend had obviously edited, putting some of the pictures that they had taken throughout their adventure over the single shot of the talking llama. 

He had left the ending as it was, she thought...Felicity lowering the llama, telling Dali she loved her and blowing kisses. But there was one additional, surprise note added to the end of Felicity’s part. 

Ray’s selfie message must’ve been shot while she was out last night. He held up Ollie Llama beside his own face and smiled toward the camera. “_Dallas_,” Ray began attempting an Aussie accent like Felicity used, “_your Aunt Lis-ty misses you a lot. Send her and Ollie here a lot of hugs and kisses when you get a chance. We’ll see you soon, Sweet Girl.”_

Felicity rolled her eyes at the thought of seeing Dali again, especially now. Between that idea and Ray’s thoughtful addition, she felt more tears welling in her eyes. She pulled up Oliver’s email address and attached the entire video. After she hit ‘send’ she figured she should find Ray and have a more settled conversation with him.

When she opened the door she wasn’t surprised to find him sitting on the floor just outside. He looked up at her and smiled only when she smiled down at him.

“All okay?” He wondered.

“No,” Felicity shook her head but continued smiling. “But yes, for now,” she swished her head back and forth. “Laurel’s crap is out in the open - but that doesn’t change things,” she quickly added before her friend could ask. “I will go to the doctor when we get back home. That’s a promise I had to make…in order to keep Oliver from coming to Portugal.”

Ray nodded and did his best to turn his phone screen away from Felicity’s eyesight. “Well okay, then,” he began to lift himself off the floor. “So, what are we doing now? More sleep sounds grand.”

Felicity shook her head at him. He could sleep almost anytime, anywhere. They were already wasting daylight hours, but with last night’s unrest, she had to admit another nap sounded nice.

“Your room or mine?” She asked and Ray pointed right back into the room where she just was. 

When she turned around to open the door again he quickly hit ‘send’ on the message he had been typing. He knew it would be strike two against him but he wouldn’t be alone.

_“Fly into the Francisco Sá Carneiro Airport. We are about an hour north of the airport, in Vila Nova de Cerveira. Let me know when you’re in town and I’ll get you to us.”_

* * *

**What If – Chapter 7**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and for your reviews. I value each of them!
> 
> Chapter 8 Tease:  
“So, what then?” Felicity continued her line of questioning, “You’re just dropping me off, with him? Or are the two of you going to drug me and put me on a plane back to the states? Great that you two have become best buddies, but are either of you listening to me?!”
> 
> “Look,” Oliver’s face turned from hesitancy to certainty in a moment as he saw her anger. “We can either sit here, have a nice dinner and talk… the three of us, two of us, I don’t care… Or, you and I can go upstairs and talk there. I’m not going anywhere until we talk, face to face. You can be as angry at me as you want but those are your options.”
> 
> “Or,” she supplied, “I can get up and walk out of this place and make plans to continue this trip by myself.”


	8. Chapter Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There comes a time when a friend must take control, like it or not. Can they handle taking control? Will she let them?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have I mentioned that I love Ray? We should all find our own Ray Palmer...
> 
> Just when you think the vacay is starting to have a relaxing effect...enter a Portuguese B&B and re-opened doors.

** **

**Curved Reality:**

**What If – Chapter 8**

* * *

“Who are you messaging?” Felicity’s curiosity was more than piqued as Ray again looked at his phone.

She had already asked him four times about the various sounds his phone had been making since they returned from a trip kayaking in the white waters of a mountain river. It had been exhilarating, exactly what she needed to take her mind off of everything else that had transpired over the past couple of days.

With cold water splashing into her face, muscles almost cramping because of the amount of effort that the paddles needed, and simply the concentration to not drown in the rushing waters, Felicity felt like breathing again.

She had given one glancing thought about her medical issue. That was when she removed her t-shirt and adjusted her tank top before getting into the kayak. That's when her wrist had grazed over _that_ spot. Since getting into the water she actually felt completely like herself again.

“I told you, it’s just this damn group text thing I got into with the guys. They’re arguing about liquor and cigars,” Ray lied somewhat convincingly, or so he thought.

“You have never joined a group text and you don’t type that much in a letter to your mother. Don’t lie to me, who are you talking to?”

“Fine, it’s your dear friend Sara if you must know,” again he lied.

Felicity paused. Sara was in Spain with Oliver, Laurel and Dali. Why would she be texting Ray? She stepped back toward the man who had just hit send, yet again. He held his phone away from her.

“Ray,” Felicity’s warning tone sounded and he ignored it. “Ray?” she said a little more forcefully. When he looked at her, her eyes held a bit of anger and curiosity. “Are you really texting Sara? Why are you talking to her?”

Ray rolled his eyes. “Apparently Oliver’s got some business in Barcelona so she and Laurel and Dali are staying on the island.”

There, that wasn’t a complete lie. Oliver was coming into Barcelona. He had to fly out of the airport in Barcelona to get to them. And, he had business to attend to. It just wasn’t...exactly...in Barcelona, per se.

Felicity took a deep breath. “He didn’t mention anything about Barcelona yesterday when I talked to him.”

“He had a few other things on his mind at that point, Lis,” Ray was absolutely truthful with that response.

“I would’ve thought he would have said something…”

“Would you stop overthinking things? Sara texted me asking if _you_ were relaxing. After London she was worried. She said she could come to us if you needed another friend around. I told her we were doing fine.” He marveled at how the fictional phrases were coming to him rather easily now.

“You asked about Oliver?” Felicity wondered.

Ray nodded without adding any details.

Felicity took a deep breath, exhaled and then repeated the process to clear her mind and keep her attitude in check. She took a couple of steps away from this friend and then turned to look at him with a smile on her face working to believe his explanations.

“What, are you just gonna stay there the rest of the day? I’d like to go get cleaned up and find some dinner. I’m starving.” She smiled at Ray genuinely and began running away from him when he lunged toward her beginning a game of ‘tag’.

He thought about what she wanted to do. He thought about where they should go for dinner and the fact that he wouldn’t be dining with her, probably. He hoped she was up for the little cafe at the bed and breakfast just minutes away from the hostel because that’s where Oliver was setting up shop; where he had gotten a room for the next two nights; and where Ray planned to drop Felicity off as long as she didn’t bolt from both of them and find another remote spot in the world to escape reality.

\-----

Oliver tossed his backpack onto the bed and pulled his shorts and t-shirts out. He felt bad leaving Dali with Laurel and Sara but he needed to see Felicity face to face. He didn’t doubt that she was fine, but he needed her to tell him that, in person.

He was grateful for Ray. The man was going above and beyond in this particular friendship department. Oliver knew he cared deeply for Felicity. He just couldn’t imagine caring so deeply for a woman and yet helping another man who loved that same woman. Unless Ray was truly a friend who understood that Felicity loved Oliver as well...truly, deeply, sinceriously.

Oliver stood up in front of the mirror in the room and looked at himself. What was he doing? Felicity might be in love with him, as he was with her, but she was trying to make a break from him because he was a married man. 

Damn hard to do that when the heart has a mind of its own.

That’s why he was here. They were both adults. They both knew the situation with Laurel was irreconcilable but until _he_ did something about that, Felicity was likely not going to just up and run away with him. 

Not now.

She wasn’t his co-star anymore. They weren’t contractually obligated to see one another. That’s why her next career move was completely across the country away from him. Because, she didn’t have to deal with being near him everyday...even if she wanted to, and even if he wanted her there.

She was trying to abide by rules that Laurel had forced upon her. He understood that now. What he didn’t understand was why Felicity didn’t bring this to his attention at all. She had mentioned Laurel potentially taking Dali away and how she didn’t want to cause that. Never once had she said that his wife had confronted her and threatened any of them. 

But that’s what Laurel had done. 

Now, standing alone, trying to put thoughts together since he had a few moments, he could see both sides. He realized that his wife had apparently discovered clarity in their bizarre relationship. Problem was, she didn’t want to rectify the situation with counseling or therapy or anything that would truly help them reconcile. Instead she chose to insult and threaten the woman that he had fallen in love with and wanted in his life.

It was as though Laurel wanted him to be miserable. And, perhaps she did, because apparently she had reached that point in their...marriage.

Was that his fault? Oliver couldn’t even bring himself to say they had ‘grown apart.’ If he were honest, he would say that there were some real sparks at the beginning of their relationship. He was attracted to Laurel; she was most certainly attracted to him; and he had ignored the signs that perhaps the attraction wasn’t really enough to forge a true, lasting relationship.

However, it had been enough to create a child. And while Laurel was pregnant Oliver really felt he was in love with her, carrying his child. But, as the newness of being parents wore off, they both started to realize that perhaps...just maybe… their hearts weren’t beating in sync.

Now he knew it for sure. Because his heart was in tune with Felicity’s.

Oliver closed his eyes and took a deep breath. If he asked for a divorce right now his world would completely shatter. Laurel would use his infidelity to take Dali away from him. And, if Felicity wasn’t in his corner he wasn’t sure how he would battle that war.

On the flip side, he wanted to help Felicity deal with the issues she was facing. Their relationship aside, for just a moment, he wanted to be a true friend, supporting her in this medical situation.

That’s why he was here. Felicity would be angry that he was here. But he needed to see first hand that she was fine. As a friend he needed to know that she was alright. And as more than a friend he needed to wrap her in his arms and simply hold her until a little bit of the uncertainty faded away.

\-----

Oliver sat nervously in the back corner of the cafe. He had put on a polo shirt with his khaki shorts and knew he looked like a complete tourist but he was hoping Felicity and Ray would be dressed similarly. 

He had grabbed a small table for three, not knowing how Felicity would react to him being here. It might be best if Ray stayed for dinner at least. He had ordered a bottle of white wine to go with their food and was sitting, nibbling on bread and oil as he waited.

His texts with Ray had been very helpful. He had no problem finding the bed and breakfast location. The room was lovely with a nice queen sized bed and couch in the room without a television. It was convenient to have the cafe on the lower level of the same building and Oliver had even caught sight of the hostel where Lici and Ray were staying - so if he needed to, he would go there to see her.

Instead he took a deep breath and glanced at his phone. They had agreed to meet at 8:00. It was 7:52 and they were all on vacation. Why did he suddenly feel like he was here for a job interview? He felt anxious. A part of him was excited. Part was nervous. Part of him wondered about the unexpected and if he could handle the situation.

Did he know Felicity well enough to handle the situation? That question had toyed with his mind since the moment Ray had called him about the lump issue. They aren’t family...they aren’t married and yet Oliver felt like he needed to be there for her as though they were.

He looked toward the front door as it opened and a few more people came inside. At the back of the small group were the two people he recognized. Felicity laughed at some comment that Ray made and Oliver found himself smiling. The last time he had really seen her face it was tear-stained and hurt.

He found himself futzing with his shirt, mindlessly tugging at the collar and his shirtsleeves attempting to make sure he was presentable for her. As a waiter pointed them toward Oliver’s table Felicity took five steps and then stopped. 

The gentle smile on her face turned into uncertainty and she attempted to turn around but Ray quietly guided her to keep walking in Oliver’s direction.

Without a word said, Oliver stood from his seat and held a chair out for Felicity. When she reached the table she wouldn’t look into his eyes. Instead she looked at his hands on the chair back and asked in a forced voice, “What are you doing here?”

“Can we talk, please?” He noticed that she didn’t make any move to give him a hug or kiss or even properly greet him. Instead she sat down rather quickly, placed her wallet to the side of her plate and scooted her chair closer to the table.

“We talked yesterday. There’s really no reason you need to be here.” Felicity looked toward Ray who was still standing, somewhat waiting for a sign to stay or go.

“This is what you’ve been doing all day, isn’t it? This is your doing.” Her eyes lit up again as she did look eye to eye with her friend.

“The two of you need time,” Ray answered calmly. He didn’t attempt to touch her or argue.

“So, what then?” Felicity continued her line of questioning, “You’re just dropping me off, _with him_? Or are the two of you going to drug me and put me on a plane back to the states? Great that you two have become best buddies, but are either of you listening to _me_?!”

Oliver took the seat beside her and attempted to place his fingers on her arm. Felicity jerked her wrist away from him and turned her fiery gaze in his direction.

“Look,” Oliver’s face turned from hesitancy to certainty in a moment as he saw her anger. “We can either sit here, have a nice dinner and talk… the three of us, two of us, I don’t care… Or, you and I can go up to our room and talk there. Those are the options. I’m not going anywhere until we talk, face to face. You can be as angry at me as you want but those are _your_ options.”

For a split second Felicity wondered if she was acting like a child. The look on Oliver’s face was the same one he garnished when giving Dali definitive instructions. And yet, Felicity knew she didn’t have to abide by his rules.

“Or,” she supplied, “I can get up and walk out of this place. The two of you can have a lovely dinner while I go get my things and make plans to continue this trip_ by myself_.”

“No!” Both men raised their voices just slightly as she picked up her wallet and started to stand.

“Please,” Oliver put his hand on the back of her chair, careful to not actually touch her, “can we just sit and talk and eat? You may not want to see me, but I needed to see you.”

He drew in a long breath through his nose trying to keep his face stoic as Felicity finally really looked at him. He appeared tired and concerned and nervous.

“Fine,” she gave in and settled into her seat. She looked up at Ray who had yet to make a move. “Are you eating with us or not?” She wondered still with attitude.

“I think,” he looked between Felicity and Oliver, “I’m going to grab something and take it back to the hostel.” He nodded toward Oliver with the understanding that he was leaving Felicity in his care - whether she wanted it or not.

Oliver replied with a simple blink of his eyes, accepting the responsibility, or challenge, as it was.

When Ray walked away Felicity huffed out a breath and grabbed her napkin and silverware simply preparing herself to eat. She stared out the window just looking at the scenery as she heard Oliver moving around just a little.

“Do you want some wine?” he began and grabbed the bottle aiming to pour some for both of them. “The bread’s really good,” he added, pointing to the small plate in front of her. “I haven’t ordered yet. I thought maybe you and Ray had eaten here and you could recommend something.”

“Why are you here, Oliver?” Felicity took a breath and then moved her eyes from the outside view to his face. “Do you plan to kidnap me and take me back to the states to get treatment for this lump which is nothing more than a bother to me right now?” She wondered honestly.

“Or did you just want to see me face to face to tell me that you and Laurel are figuring out a way to reconcile?” She swallowed the saliva that coated her mouth as she posed that question, not even realizing the thought was in her mind.

Oliver accepted the question. He knew she was angry but he was determined to work through that, _with_ her, so they could again have a conversation that might point toward _their_ future.

He didn’t even attempt to answer either of her questions but started in on a different level.

“I’m sorry,” he purposefully kept his face unsmiling, “for messing up our meeting in London. I went so far beyond out of bounds when I saw you… I just… I apologize. I truly, truly apologize.”

Felicity looked away from his face as the thought of their encounter came back to her mind again. She just nodded to acknowledge that she heard him.

“I wanted to ask you, that night,” Oliver continued without her looking back at him, “if Laurel had done something specific to make you stay away from me for the past year practically. After the season was said and done and after we spent the night together in the cabin, I needed to know the truth, Felicity.”

She continued looking anywhere except at his face. Her eyes fell to his left hand and the wedding band that still sat on his ring finger. She also noticed the chain around his neck and the other wedding band hanging from it. She pressed her lips together as she recognized the ‘prop’ ring that symbolized their characters’ marriage.

“And now,” he really didn’t wait for an answer to any of his questions, “I need to know if you knew about the...the lump at that point? How long...have you known…”

Felicity rolled her eyes and leaned her head back to try and relieve a bit of the anxious tension grasping her neck. She breathed in and out a couple of times and then sat up a little straighter as a waiter approached their table.

Oliver hadn’t even looked at the menu; Felicity wasn’t really hungry so she defaulted to the other meal that she and Ray had shared earlier in the week at this location. The food included a large portion of broiled tuna, fresh steamed vegetables and a caldo verde soup. She indicated to the waiter that they would simply share the same dishes and the young man happily took their order and wandered back toward the kitchen.

Felicity put her hands over her face for a moment, held her breath and then moved them down into a prayerful pose covering her mouth with her fingertips tucked under her nose. 

“Thank you,” Oliver caught her eye for a split second with gratefulness because he truly was hungry.

They sat for several minutes silently, Felicity in thought, staring out the window over Oliver’s shoulder and Oliver intently staring at her.

He poured them each a glass of the wine and then decided to try a different tactic.

“Felicity, I miss you,” he reached his fingertips to her bicep and gently ran them down to her elbow.

She again flinched but didn’t completely pull away from him.

“I know why you needed to leave. I understand. On more than one level I understand. I’m figuring it out and putting the pieces together. But that doesn’t change the fact that I miss you. I miss working with you, talking with you, laughing with you. I miss your friendship and the way you made work less ‘work’. You made it fun for me and if I took that for granted I apologize. You’re more than my coworker or friend. You know that. I don’t want to lose you from my life.” 

“I’m not _dying_,” she stated plainly and finally looked into his face for more than a split second.

Oliver closed his eyes. “I know. I’m not going to let that happen.”

Felicity continued looking at him with any number of comebacks rolling through her mind. She wanted to be sarcastic, or angry with a response. Instead she licked her lips and took a deep breath. “Oliver, go back to Spain. Go back to your family.” 

“No,” he shook his head and met her eyes. “Don’t you get this, Felicity?” Their gazes held on each others’ eyes and the sheen of tears that formed in Oliver’s caused the same response in Felicity’s. “I _love_ you,” he spoke just above a whisper. “You can’t make love go away just by going away or being apart. My heart is with you. You can go to New York or Portugal or Aruba...it doesn’t matter. Wherever you go you’re taking my heart with you. And if you hurt, I hurt. That’s what this medical _blip_ is...you’re scared and hurting and I know that. You can deny it, but I know - because I hurt too, for you.”

He nodded his head at her and watched as she shook her head with a single tear escaping her eyes.

“You’re not allowed to do that,” Felicity matched his low level of talking.

“What’s that?” Oliver wondered.

“To keep loving me, or hurt for me, or know what I’m feeling. I left so that we could both get over each other. You have a family to love and take care of. I have a career and friends and a lot of stuff that I need to do. And we have to find a way to do that apart...work, illness, whatever it is, Oliver, we both have to find a way to get through things without the other.” Felicity grabbed her napkin from her lap as the next tear fell and she sniffled softly trying to regain her composure.

“I won’t,” Oliver shook his head defiantly. “I refuse to believe we have to do that. I know it won’t be easy, but I refuse to think we have to go through any of this without each other.”

He stopped and took a drink of his wine and pushed Felicity’s glass towards her. She gladly picked up the drink and took a few light sips.

“Can you tell me that you don’t love me now?” Oliver asked as she set her glass down on the table and licked her lips sadly.

Felicity stared at the bubbles in the alcohol and then looked up at Oliver’s waiting eyes.

“No,” she answered after several moments.

As grateful as he was to hear that answer Oliver knew better than to smile at her or push her for any further feelings in that moment. Instead he waited for the waiter to return and then asked if they could package the meal for them to take upstairs.

Felicity watched him quietly. This was exactly the reason she didn’t want him to come to Portugal or wherever in the world she might be. No matter how big the walls she tried to erect around her heart, he could breach them. Sitting there in a little cafe where nothing else in the world mattered he had done it again.

They didn’t say anything else to one another until the waiter returned. And at that point Oliver simply thanked the young man, gave him a hearty tip and looked at Felicity. 

“Are you ready?” His eyes now simply asked her to let him take the lead. “Let’s go up to our room. We have a lot more to talk about.” 

He stood and then helped pull her chair out so Felicity could also leave the table. Oliver grabbed their food and turned to look back at her standing there quietly.

Felicity couldn’t say anything else. She swallowed the nerves that clumped in her throat and looked back at him. She allowed Oliver to take her hand and begin leading her to the small room that would be their sanctuary for just one or two nights.

Immediately she remembered just how perfect that feeling was.

* * *

**What If – Chapter 8**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Chapter 9 Tease:  
“What am I supposed to say now, Felicity? I love you doesn’t feel like enough but it’s all I’ve got.”  
“I think," Felicity answered quietly, "I’m going to go back to the hostel. You should try to rest tonight and go back to Spain tomorrow. I’ve done enough damage to you. You don’t need any more from me.”


	9. Chapter Nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A face to face discussion with a chance to come to grips with the past and the present. And if they can, what will it mean for the future?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a pretty emotional one to write. Using your imagination puts fictional words and scenarios on the page, but many times the emotions that go along with those pretend situations really are strong and hit you from out of nowhere.
> 
> I hope you'll feel those emotions as well as you read...
> 
> Now back to a B&B in Portugal...

** **

**Curved Reality:**

**What If – Chapter 9**

* * *

They ate in silence. Felicity nibbled on the tuna and sipped some of the soup. She had been anxious to try some of the other cultural foods, excited to have had an almost normal vacation day. Now her appetite was practically null and void.

Oliver on the other hand had devoured the vegetables, enjoyed the soup and had eaten a good portion of the fish. 

“Is Laurel not feeding you?” Felicity finally wondered as he released a quiet belch, wiped his mouth with his napkin and looked up at her like a starving soul.

“I haven’t felt like eating the last couple of days,” Oliver took a drink of his wine, and then got up to find a bottle of water.

Felicity went silent for another minute as he took the time to drink half the bottle.

She got up, grabbed her glass of wine and made her way to the couch where she sat down and looked out the window towards the dimly lit street outside. “When we were at the cabin I was waiting for you to tell me one thing.”

Her words from out of the blue made his heart beat faster. He knew she had been thinking from the way she had been watching him as he enjoyed dinner. Oliver walked toward her and waited knowing there was something she finally wanted to tell him.

“You knew that was our last night together. You knew I was leaving the show, moving away and making a break. I know...I mean we never actually said it but… we were avoiding talking about Laurel and the whole mess. But never once did you say you would leave her, or you would ask for a divorce.” Felicity purposefully kept her eyes out the window. 

That’s why she had mentioned the thought of Laurel and Oliver reconciling while she was so angry earlier. Oliver looked toward the floor. Even without her eyes on him he suddenly felt sheepish like a student being chastised by his teacher.

“All the times over the years we’ve talked about ‘maybes’ and ‘what if’s’ and ‘in the future/down the road’ types of scenarios. I went into that night thinking you just might tell me then that you were going to divorce Laurel. I thought _maybe_ you’d tell me that after the summer you would come to New York with me for a while because you were going to separate from her.”

Felicity turned her head to see him standing there, the look on his face exactly what she expected. He didn’t have anything to say to make up for what she was telling him.

“I don’t doubt you love me, Oliver. I know you do. If you had told me that night that you were leaving Laurel and you had turned around and asked me to marry you... I would’ve said ‘yes’, most likely. That night was everything to me. I knew it was either our last night together, or the real start of our future.” She couldn’t take watching him with the lost look on his face so she turned back toward the window.

“Those aren’t the only options,” Oliver spoke softly, glued to the spot on the floor where he stood.

“Yes, they are,” Felicity spoke with a bit more strength in her voice. 

“No,” Oliver shook his head and pressed his lips together. “You could’ve told me that night about the crap that Laurel had pulled. I’m an idiot, a clueless idiot. But Felicity you never once said anything about Laurel threatening you.”

He finally found the strength to move his feet and went to the couch sitting down on the opposite side from her.

“She didn’t threaten _me_,” Felicity opposed. “Yes, she pissed me off. Yes, her entire game was _threatening _to take Dali away from you - and from me. Because she knows that Dallas is your world. I know that she’s your world. I was never _threatened _Oliver, but you know that I won’t be the reason you lose your daughter. Our relationship isn’t worth anything if it costs you that little girl.”

“And as we’ve been apart I’ve had more time to think about that. Dal is who you go home to. Dali is who makes you smile and who gives you strength. She is your reason for the last 10 episodes. Because you know at the end of this year you can go home and be daddy. I love her too, but she isn’t mine, Oliver. She’s _your _daughter, not mine.”

“Dallas and _you…” _Oliver looked out the window as well when her words pulled the tears from his eyes. “I thought you were thinking of Dali as your own.”

Felicity gave a sad, sarcastic laugh as she responded. “But she’s not. Oliver, she never will be. Laurel is her mom. I’m _Aunt _Lis-ty. That’s as close as I’ll ever be. I can love her as my own as much as I want to and it won’t matter. Just like I can think of _you _as mine as much as I want to. But, Oliver, right now, I can’t _have _either.”

She was correct and he knew it. That’s what made him turn on the couch, bend at his waist and put his head in his hands.

This wasn’t how this night was supposed to go.

Felicity knew his pain. She hadn’t aimed to spill this cup of medicine on him. Because in turn it made her hurt even more. 

She stood up from the couch and walked to the bathroom to find a washcloth and cool her own tear-stained face.

“What am I supposed to say now, Felicity?” Oliver called out from the couch as he heard the water running in the sink. “I love you doesn’t feel like enough but it’s all I’ve got.”

She didn’t have a response so she stood in the bathroom a little longer with a mind empty of any answer.

“I think…” she stepped out of the bathroom and looked at him. “I’m going to go back to the hostel. You should try to rest tonight and go back to Spain tomorrow. I’ve done enough damage to you. You don’t need any more from me.”

Her deep voice. Her ‘driving me away’ voice. With her last words that’s what Oliver heard and recognized. In a moment his tears stalled and he found a way to take a deep, cleansing breath.

“We are not done,” he spoke to her back as her hand hit the doorknob. 

And instead of turning the knob and leaving, Felicity stopped. She didn’t dare turn and look at him but she would listen for just another moment.

Oliver immediately stood up, stepped to her and placed himself directly behind her, his face looking down over her shoulder. 

“Just before dinner I sat there wondering if I knew you well enough to face the unknown with you. I just realized, I do. And I want to. You can keep trying to push me away and you can keep trying to get away from me, but Felicity, I love you. So it’s not going to work. You’re not going back to the hostel. I need you to go right back to that couch and sit down and let’s start again.”

“I don’t have anything else to say,” Felicity tried to open the door but Oliver’s hand immediately reached out to keep it closed. 

“Downstairs, you couldn’t tell me that you don’t love me now. So you still do...love me. You still love Dali and you know we both love you. I will handle the situation with Laurel…”

“Oliver!” Felicity finally turned around and looked up into his face. “The _situation _is your marriage. You’ve been _handling _that situation for years now. I’ve finally reached a point that I _can’t _handle that situation. Don’t you get it? I -”

He had waited and taken all he could. Oliver finally stopped her words with his lips on hers, his hand behind her head as she fought to make him stop. She pushed against his chest - which Felicity had learned years ago was a moot point. He didn’t try anything other than kissing her. He felt the tears on her cheeks mixing with his as their mouths pressed together. And when she relaxed enough and accepted his act of love, he stopped.

When Felicity opened her eyes Oliver pointed back at the couch. “Start over,” he instructed. “You’re trying to push me away and you almost had me. I almost let you walk out this door like I let you walk out of that cabin and I let you walk off that set. I’m not letting you walk out of my life. Not now. Not knowing…”

Felicity sat back down on the couch. “Don’t go there!” she ordered.

“Felicity, that is half the reason I’m here right now,” Oliver knelt down in front of her and took her hand even though she resisted. 

“What’s the other half?” She tearfully asked with another sarcastic laugh.

“I’m here, 100 percent because I love you. I’m here because I’m miserable with my wife. You’re right. I’m only happy at home with Dali. I am happiest when I’m with Dali and you. I’m terrified that Laurel will take her from me but I will fight, I _can_ fight, if you are with me.”

“Do you hear yourself?” Felicity looked at him feeling completely torn and unsure.

Oliver ignored her line. He took her hands in his. “With that said, I’m _here_ because I cannot take the chance of losing _you _to something we can battle. Without you I can’t battle Laurel. So I cannot lose you.”

Felicity wiped her eyes with her shoulder as Oliver continued holding her hands. “That’s melodramatic. I have a lump, Oliver. I don’t have any other symptoms.”

“But you’re sitting here telling me you want me to leave. You’re done with me, you’re done with us… Part of the reason you’re saying that is because of this lump. You’re scared and I’m scared. You don’t want to face this but you need to.” He brought her hands to his lips and pressed kisses to the backs of them, lingering over each knuckle.

“Let me help you through this. And then together we tackle my separation from Laurel.”

“I’ve told you, I will handle this,” Felicity tried to counter.

“You won’t.” Oliver looked up into her eyes, hating the pure torture that seemed to fill them. The brilliant blue that usually sparkled was tinged with redness, tears, hurt, pain and uncertainty that he knew was partially his fault.

When she tried to stand up, not wanting to have this argument yet again, he tugged on her hands and kept her seated on the couch. He put both knees on the floor and sat back on his heels.

“For five minutes…” He squeezed her hands, kissed her finger tips and made her look at him, eye to eye. “Just five minutes, please tell me how long this has been going on and what’s going through your mind. Forget the other complications of our lives. Forget your plans after this trip. Let everything else drop and tell me about this lump, your health, you.”

Felicity swallowed. As much as she didn’t want to think about this she knew she had to. With Oliver sitting right there, asking her, she knew the time had come to begin to face this...this thing...inside of her.

“Sunday night, after Ray and I said our ‘goodbyes’ and we went back up to our room…” she thought about the whole string of events that had occurred. “I wanted him to make love to me.” She pressed her lips together as the truth left them and watched as Oliver struggled to take a normal breath for just a moment. She knew he was at a point that he would curb his reaction and not pass any judgment. Not now.

“He wouldn’t,” her lip quivered slightly and Oliver could see a few tears moving across her eyelid. “He told me to go and take a shower or a bath and just try to relax while he started packing. So I did. And, while I was in the shower, I found..._it_.”

Oliver nodded. “So you hadn’t noticed anything before last weekend? You’re telling me the truth?” He asked as gently as he could and Felicity realized that. 

“Yes,” she answered simply. “Ray and I have...fooled around a few times. He has _touched me _over the past few weeks,” she admitted with her eyes darting away from Oliver’s momentarily knowing she would see a mixture of hurt and anger in them. “Neither of us noticed this.”

Her eyes went back to his and Oliver was very careful not to let jealous feelings take over his mind. Instead he nodded at her quietly.

“When I did feel it, I wanted to ignore it. I figured,” she pulled one of her hands from his to move her hair that had fallen over her face, “it was something from all the stress of the past few months. I honestly thought it would go away after a day or two…”

“But it hasn’t,” Oliver supplied.

Felicity shook her head. “You’re right. You and Ray - I have been trying to ignore it. But I wasn’t just going to let it go. I really do plan to go to the doctor when I get home. I just have a lot that I need to do and a lot that I want to do and I’m not ready to face this.”

She looked down at their linked hands. “When he and I were playing the other night and he felt it, he wanted to get me on a plane and head home right then and there. I knew he would tell you. And I really didn’t want to deal with either one of you. Like I said, it’s my body, my life.”

Oliver looked down at their hands, their fingers playing with each others so naturally that he finally felt like they had stepped backwards at least momentarily. “But Felicity? Do you realize how much your life affects ours? Mine...Ray’s… Dali’s? Your mom’s?” He bent his head and kissed her fingers and for a few moments he rested his cheek against her thigh and she ran her fingers through his short hair.

He then left a kiss on her skin, just below the hem of the shorts she was wearing. “When Ray called me and told me about this,” he spoke slowly as he again ran his thumb across her knuckles and watched his own actions, “I was mad, at first, because it meant that he had found this. I was mad that he was touching your breast - that it wasn’t me…” he looked farther down, toward the floor as he admitted the embarrassing factor. “And then, Lis, then I was scared. Because my mind immediately wondered what my own life would be like if you aren’t in it.”

Oliver licked his lips and swallowed the thoughts that returned to his mind. “I’m not talking sexually. I’m not talking about us being together-together, particularly… I admit my mind went to the worst scenario. I was scared to think of my life if I couldn’t call you, no matter where in the world you are… What if I couldn’t look at your face and see your smile or hear your voice? Our friendship, Lis, I rely on you and I don’t want to stop. You can be in Portugal, you can be in New York or on the moon. It doesn’t matter where you are. What matters, to me, is that you stay in my life because I love you. I don’t want to see you hurting and right now you are because you think you’re going to face this alone. And I’m here to tell you, you won’t.”

Felicity sat there listening to him. She soaked in his words, as rambling as they were, and she allowed her heart to take them in as well. 

“Hold me?” she requested as more tears coated her throat.

Oliver slowly let go of her hands and stood up from his perch on the floor. He walked to the dresser and pulled out a simple, black t-shirt. He walked back and handed it to Felicity and pointed toward the bathroom. “Sleep in this,” he instructed her and then reattached their hands to help her off the couch.

As she stepped toward the bathroom his quiet voice reached out to her once more. “Felicity?”

She looked back at him and waited.

“Can I…” He wasn’t quite sure if he was overstepping the bounds or not, but he needed to know. “Can I see? Can you show me, please? The...the lump. I need to know.”

Felicity felt the blush in her cheeks as he asked. She realized he was asking this probably on two fronts. First, he truly did want to know about this invading factor that was in _their_ lives now. And second, the idea that Ray was hyper aware and Oliver wasn’t, caused concerns.

She reached her hand out toward him, asking him to join her in the bathroom. When he did, he stood behind her, the two of them facing the mirror in the small space. Felicity slowly removed the t-shirt she was wearing as Oliver watched her. Then their eyes locked in the mirror as she carefully removed her bra and exposed her breasts to him. 

Oliver didn’t glance down, he held his gaze on her eyes as she did his. When Felicity looked away and reached for his right hand he simply watched to see what she was doing. He watched as she grasped his larger hand and guided the tips of his index and middle fingers to the tender spot on her right breast where he, too, could feel what she had. 

She placed her fingers over his and pressed gently against the lump. She felt his intake of breath and heard the slight gasp that went through his nose. 

At that point, Oliver caught her gaze again through the mirror. He silently nodded at her, kept his fingers against the spot on her soft skin and wrapped his other arm around her waist and hugged her.

He closed his eyes and buried his face against the juncture of her neck and shoulder.

“I love you,” Oliver shared, his warm breath against her skin. 

Felicity moved his hand away from her breast and down to her waist where he linked his fingers together across her belly button and pulled her close. She placed her hands over his and leaned her head back against his chest.

“Please don’t stop...loving me,” Felicity requested.

“Because?” Oliver asked, needing her confirmation.

“Because," her voice dropped to a whispered, truthful level, "I love you, too.”

* * *

**What If – Chapter 9**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading - you all are pretty amazing. I'm so happy you're enjoying this story!
> 
> Chapter 10 Tease:  
“I want you to make love to me…” Felicity stated and then pressed her lips together again. “But then I want you to go back to Spain, talk to your wife, and I want you to figure out what the hell you’re going to do to keep me in your life.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Distance and distractions won't make love go away. But if it can't be nurtured and can't grow, then what do you do?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Smut alert: This chapter contains explicit sexual content.

** **

**Curved Reality:**

**What If – Chapter 10**

* * *

Felicity awoke the next morning with a strong arm around her waist, and a large hand holding her midsection underneath Oliver’s black t-shirt. She didn’t have to think twice about where she was or who was holding her. The feeling was all too familiar.

She recalled their conversation the night before and the reason she had stayed with him. She couldn’t deny that she loved him. She could fight it but if she was asked straight out about loving this man, she had to say she did, with everything that was in her.

The last time she had truly had the pleasure of being in his arms had been at the cabin those months before. She had tried to use that night - that one, perfect night - against him, last night but he hadn’t fallen for it. 

Instead he had called her out about it. And he was correct. That night could have been like last night. They could have fought and argued and yet Felicity knew it would have turned out the same. They both had wanted to make love and just be together one more time…

That’s how her mind remembered it, one...last...time…

\----- 

_“I brought your wine,” Oliver held up the bottle of Pacific Coast Pink, the rosé that Felicity had helped create. He also pointed to two other bottles of wine from his vineyard that he had packed and chilled for this occasion. _

_The two of them had stolen so very little time together over the past year Oliver felt like they were losing their connection. And, after Felicity had presented him with her resignation notice- of sorts- in the form of her exit poem, he knew he had to do something._

_He had written his own poem to her:_

_Seven years…_  
_A shy beginning -_  
_A new-found friendship turns to love._  
_A red pen in a world of dark colors_  
_A light to my life._  
_I won’t let go - I can’t  
_ _You are my everything._

_Oliver didn’t write. So when he gave her the card and the words were handwritten on the inside, Felicity had cried._

_At that moment she could have told him about Laurel’s threats. She could have informed him that their time together that night could cost him his child. But she chose not to because she wanted one more night with him._

_“Don’t say anything, please?” She had requested of him as he opened the bottle of wine and poured each of them a glass._

_He handed her one of the glasses and watched as she took a few sips. Oliver took a long drink, held the liquid in his mouth and slowly swallowed the bubbling liquid as the two of them simply looked at one another._

_“I want to make love to you, Felicity.” They both knew that’s why they were there. And when she nodded at him Oliver didn’t hesitate to take back her drink, set it on the table and immediately move them to the bedroom._

_The other times they had found time together during this particular year had been rushed. There had been kisses enjoyed, times of holding each other, hugging for longer than normal friends and shared whispers that easily included ‘I love you’. But ‘making love’ in his trailer, or hers, had been relegated to ‘I want you now...meet me...I’ve got 15 minutes until I have to be on set…’ _

_Not this night. _

_As soon as their feet were inside that cabin bedroom haven they each felt safe. That’s when Oliver weaved his hands through her hair and tilted her face towards him. He didn’t hesitate to brush his lips over hers, unhurried and wanting to memorize every millimeter of her body, starting with the lips that perfectly melded with his own._

_He pressed his lips against the corner of her mouth and felt her hands grip the sides of his henley, simply bracing herself to accept whatever he had in mind. _

_He could taste the tart sweetness of the wine as he placed miniscule kisses along her bottom lip and then traced them around to her cheek and her earlobe before moving back across her top lip and giving the other side of her face the same attention._

_Felicity silently breathed, accepting his slow attention, trying not to worry about the time or whether or not he had to leave. She was determined not to let those thoughts enter her head tonight._

_So when his lips returned to hers again, fully, she began to trade tastes with him, finding his upper lip with her own, catching it between them, sucking on it gently as he licked his tongue across her lower one._

_Instead of the hurried battle of tongues delving into each others’ mouths, they began a slow dance. The tip of his slid in a circular motion around the oval of her lips when she invited him in, opening for him to taste and enjoy. Hers met his, pressing together and Oliver gladly held his in place as she wrapped her lips around him and gently sucked, holding his talented, creative tongue inside of her for a few extra moments._

_He moaned at the feeling, knowing they were just beginning, and yet remembering the way she had used this exact action to bring him pleasure beyond words over the past few years._

_Felicity smiled as she let him retract from her mouth. She loved being able to draw that sound out of him. She knew multiple ways to elicit that sound and he had assured her, she was the only one who could._

_That gave her strength. That made her just a little bit bold. That sound, his pleasure, made her want more._

_She pulled the gray, long-sleeved shirt up his body until she couldn’t reach any further. Then, as he pulled it over his head and arms she used the moments to outline his chest, running her fingers in an hourglass fashion over his pectorals and letting her fingernails scrape across his nipples, now pert from the cooler temperature and from her heated touch._

_Felicity wrapped her arms around his neck, bracing her hands against the back of his head and pulled herself up onto her tiptoes to kiss his mouth again. _

_This time the kiss was more heated, more insistent, more wanting. Both of them opened for the other, both of their tongues stretched into the others mouth, both of them hummed together at the need that was beginning to build at a faster pace._

_Neither wanted to rush. But both of their bodies screamed at them with a need that hadn’t been fulfilled enough in the recent months. The need to be completely connected with one another...the need to make love, completely, with the one they loved._

_Oliver bent slightly, sliding his hands to the back of Felicity’s thighs, She knew instinctively that he was going to lift her off the ground, giving her the feeling of dominance as her face then hovered over his, her lips above his, her hands free to hold his face as she buried another kiss onto his lips._

_She wrapped her legs around his sturdy hips only to free his hands to move over her body. She didn’t need to be held, like a child. She wanted his touch in the most adult way. That began with his hands working their way underneath her sweater and spreading across the warm skin of her back._

_She never knew when he did it, but Oliver magically released the hooks of her bra so when their bodies separated for the minute seconds it took, her breast covering always came off with her shirt, or her dress. _

_This time she nearly laughed with the thought as he steadied her with one hand on the back of her waist and the other pushing up her sweater until she took over and removed her clothing - the bra again going with her top._

_Oliver looked up at her smiling face as he stood there holding her. This was the woman he loved. This was the woman that he would somehow fight to keep. He wanted to tell her that tonight but he also didn’t want to mar this moment, or the next few hours with those thoughts. _

_He simply wanted to show her every pleasure she could imagine._

_He turned and placed her on the bed, immediately crawling away from her only to unclasp the waistband of her pants and drag them off her body. His stare was intense as he looked at her body, naked to him except for one scant piece of lace that he would eventually take off of her._

_Felicity sat up slightly, resting on her elbows and beckoning him with her eyes to follow suit and remove his own clothing. _

_Oliver didn’t need to ask. He needed nothing more than the hungry look in her eyes and the slight lick of her tongue on her bottom lip to give him instruction. He held her eyes as he unbuttoned his jeans and slowly pushed them down his legs._

_His length wasn’t hidden at all behind the navy blue boxer briefs that hugged his muscles. Felicity looked, only because she was always enamored by his reaction to her. The fact was, he was almost immediately hardened by her presence when they were alone and lovemaking was an option for them. _

_“Everything off,” her eyes drug up his body until they latched onto his gaze again._

_“But-” Oliver’s rebuttal was nothing more than a split second of teasing her._

_Felicity raised a single eyebrow, “Everything,” she said again._

_Oliver’s eyes moved down to her breasts as he hooked his thumbs into the waistband of his underwear and slowly revealed his erection to her. He looked at the tattoos on her arms and pulled his sight down to the band of her own underwear. _

_There was one bit of ink on her body that very few people had seen. The simple arrow- about two inches long- sat just below her bikini line and was faint. If she didn’t shave or wax he wouldn’t know it was there. But for him, she did. That marking was for him particularly, and a reminder to herself that she wanted to be branded by this man and wanted to be his. _

_“Are you just going to stand there staring?” Felicity watched him before sitting up, scooting herself closer to the edge of the bed and then quirking her index finger at him when he stood before her completely in the buff._

_Oliver again followed her instructions and stepped toward her. Her hands immediately went to his waist, her thumbs running over the top edge of his pelvic bone and then outlining the sexy ‘V’ that trailed down to the most sensitive areas of his body._

_He shivered as her trim thumbnails scraped against his skin through the course hairs that grew on this particular part of his anatomy. And when she leaned forward and began trailing her lips along the same trail he groaned._

_“Lis…” her shortened name came through his lips in a husky whisper that meant she was already driving him crazy._

_Her hair fell against his penis as she kissed lines around his member, purposefully avoiding it. “Felicity,” he tried again, struggling to say anything but so turned on by the sight of her, knowing she would give him the most complete pleasure he could imagine._

_She placed a light, closed-lip kiss against the tip of his erection which was beginning to ooze his slick liquid. But then she stood up in front of him and turned her face upwards toward his wanting to feel his lips on hers again._

_He didn’t deny her. Oliver bent his neck, easily capturing her mouth and letting their tongues quarrel with his hands moving to the back of her head to find the depth that he needed._

_Her hands reached to his backside, pulled his hardness against her abdomen, letting her feel his taut skin and heat against her tender belly. She pressed her body firmly against him and let out her own moan as she began to think about where she truly wanted to have his full length._

_She turned them around, pulled her lips away from his and waited again for eye contact before she placed her hands on his chest and urged him to sit down on the bed. _

_Once he did, she took his hands and guided his fingers to the skimpy material that still clung to her hips. Oliver watched his fingers as they hooked into the thin band and pulled the lace ever so slowly down her legs._

_He bent forward only to make sure she could step out of her panties without stumbling. But as he did, he caught sight of his arrow on her body and quickly pressed his lips against it._

_“Oliver!” Felicity gasped and grasped his hair with her hands. _

_He knew she wanted to pull his lips away from her skin, but this time he wouldn’t have it. To retaliate he placed his hands on her small waist and held her still as his lips and tongue began irritating that one marked spot. _

_He loved to leave his own mark there. The first time he had left a ‘hickey’ on that very spot, the arrow had practically come to life in his mind. And he had caught Felicity staring at it in the mirror in the afterglow. He recalled her staring at it with a blushing smile on her face. She admitted that was her exact reason for getting that ink...for him to take advantage of it._

_Other than gasping his name and her half-hearted attempt to make him stop, she had simply let her head fall backwards and allowed him to add red and purplish colors to her shaft and tip, yet again._

_After that, she climbed into his lap, straddling his thighs. She reached between them and used her thumb to coat his head and edges with his own juices before she raised herself up onto her knees and added her own layer of coating to their lubrication. _

_Oliver held her back. He nuzzled his nose and scruffy beard against her chest, his tongue teased her nipples and caused her to let out her own little hums and mewls that were the perfect music to his ears._

_And when she finally, slowly, sank her heat onto his hardness they both gasped and groaned. She used her strong thigh muscles to inch her way down his tight length until he was completely inside of her, buried to the point his scrotum pressed against her sensitive flesh._

_Felicity moved her hands to his face where he took the tip of her index finger into his mouth and flicked over it with the tip of his tongue. As he began to suck on her digit, Felicity looked into his eyes, her mouth forming the familiar ‘oh’ as his thickness stretched her ever-tightening muscles around him. _

_Oliver began rolling his hips to make her move, inviting her to come with him on the journey she was instigating. As she accepted that most welcome invitation, he marveled yet again at her strength, her control as she guided their bodies into a rhythm that took them both to an intense height and sent them reeling together over the peak._

_\-----_

Felicity shivered as she re-lived that memory. It was the first of three times that night that their bodies had connected in the most intimate way. This morning, as she lay there with his arms wrapped around her, she suddenly wanted to experience that again. 

It was wrong. She had told herself, especially after the weekend’s near miss, that until Oliver talked to Laurel, they couldn’t be together again, not like that.

But considering what she had shared with him last night, his hand on her breast in a very different, intimate connection, she realized her need to be _with_ Oliver wasn’t going to go away. 

As he had said, the love wasn’t going to just disappear or fade away. 

Her roller coaster of emotions was rounding a curve and heading toward another steep climb. Could she take it? How much could she ask of Oliver - how much would he ask of her - before they could truly be together? Could they?

“Oliver,” Felicity whispered as she felt his hand moving against her skin.

“Are you okay?” he returned her whisper and added a kiss against her scalp, one against her ear and another against her neck, right at the collar of the t-shirt.

“Mmm-hmm,” she pressed her lips together.

“What do you need, Lici? I’m here.”

She breathed shallowly for a couple of seconds and then rolled herself over to face him, staying in his arms, not allowing him to let go.

“I need you,” she placed the tip of her index finger at the corner of his mouth and waited for him to open his sleepy eyes to look at her. 

“I’m right here,” he offered.

“I want you to make love to me…” Felicity stated and then pressed her lips together again. “But then I want you to go back to Spain, talk to your wife, and I want you to figure out what the hell you’re going to do to keep me in your life.”

* * *

**What If – Chapter 10**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! Your reviews feed my muse - especially with these characters!
> 
> Chapter 11 Tease:  
“I’ve fallen in love with Felicity, Laurel. You know that. You’ve seen it. Where you took much of my strength and my self esteem, she gives it back to me. So I won’t deny that I love her. And, I think it would be best for us to separate...”
> 
> Laurel continued to stare at him, the only difference becoming the darkness of her eyes. “Your affair will cost you your daughter.”


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Facing the truth...Felicity tackles the first steps of her medical battle with hopes of Oliver's support while Oliver opens the wound that is his marriage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In all honesty, I am still torn about the idea of Olicity being together while Oliver is still married yet not in love with his wife. I don't condone infidelity/extramarital affairs. It makes me angry at myself for seemingly being 'ok' with it...although I know it's a situation that happens in our day and age (and long before). With that in mind, the thoughts and words in this chapter are excuses, on both fronts.  
My ultimate hope is that true love finds a way and in the process eyes are opened and perhaps, over time, the heart-hurt will heal.
> 
> Now, off to an airport in Portugal and a vacation home in Spain that is about to explode.

** **

**Curved Reality:**

**What If – Chapter 11**

* * *

Felicity sat down in her first class seat next to the window. Ray put her carry-on bag up above them and handed her a blanket and pillow from the compartment. After all that had happened, Felicity was ready to go home, starting with the flight to New York.

Following the visit from Oliver she had been more calm than she had been since before the convention. She admitted to Ray, the day after, that seeing Oliver, talking to him, _being_ with him had been helpful.

There was something about the fact that he knew Laurel’s game and yet he had still come to Felicity despite that, that gave her an extra ounce of strength.

Oliver had done as she had asked, the morning after he examined her lump. The two of them had made love slowly, tenderly, with Oliver giving particular attention to her breasts. He had called her name with practiced ease as she gave him the familiar pleasure and they had both stayed in bed afterwards until a text from Ray had pulled them back to reality.

That’s when Felicity had again told Oliver to return to his family and their trip...saying aloud that he had to address the topic of separation - at the least - with Laurel in order to figure out what role, if any, Felicity would continue to play in his life.

In return, Oliver told her he wanted to know as soon as she had a doctor’s appointment, and he wanted any followup information. And, although he knew very well that she had her mother and other close, female friends, he demanded that she include him as an emergency contact on her medical forms.

Even with her ultimatum of sorts, he refused to allow her to believe that their lives weren’t going to be together. Nor would he let her go through the health ups and downs alone.

Once Oliver left, Felicity had completed a couple more videos for Dali and sent them through Oliver to the little girl. They had exchanged just a few other messages including one simple one from Oliver saying ‘I’m back on the island. I love you.” And one from Felicity three days later saying, “Cutting things short. Back to Van in a few days. Appointment with Dr. Evans set.”

So now here she was, with Ray, after enjoying five more days in Portugal, boarding the first leg of her flight home. 

Ray had been the perfect gentleman and friend the last few days. When hadn’t he been, other than conspiring with Oliver against her - which Felicity had to admit, was what she needed.

He had given her two full days without mentioning her medical concerns. And, on that third day he only talked about it because she mentioned it. Knowing it was on her mind, he pushed the issue and that had been the day she called her gynecologist and set the appointment. That same day they decided together to cut their trip a week short and fly home.

As sad as Felicity was about that, she knew in her heart it was the right move. As scared as she was to take the first step, she knew she had to. And from somewhere deep inside she felt the strength of Oliver’s love urging her to take care of herself...for their future.

\-----

Oliver returned to Laurel, Dali and Sara in a solemn but calm mood. Dali in particular had noticed that he wasn’t as crazy as he had been before he went to Barcelona. 

He had quickly shared with his little girl the first Portugal video that Felicity had sent to him, including Ray’s little message at the end. Dali was both thrilled but a little worried about her aunt. Lis-ty hadn’t said a word about letting Ray speak for Ollie...and she wondered openly to Oliver if Lis-ty was ‘okay’.

Laurel frowned and cringed through the video that Oliver didn’t hide from her. As a matter of fact he let his wife watch over his shoulder to see exactly what Felicity was sharing with Dali. 

When the video was finished and Dali asked about Felicity’s well-being, she asked if they could send a message back with lots of hugs and kisses.

Oliver thought it was a good idea and immediately turned the camera toward his daughter.

At that point, Laurel had huffed away wondering what game Felicity was playing and why she was subtracting time from the Queen’s family vacay. 

Oliver knew Felicity had received Dali’s message as well because that was the other text between them…_”Dals, you rock! I love you, too.”_ Dallas had been happy; Oliver had been happy; Laurel wanted a better explanation and Oliver decided it was time for them to talk.

\-----

Oliver put his hands on his hips as Laurel sat down on the bed in the master bedroom of the house. Sara and Dali had gone for gelato to discuss Ollie Llama’s latest adventure and where he might go next.

“So do you want to tell me what the Barcelona trip was about, Oliver?” Laurel watched as he paced.

“I needed a little time to myself,” he began.

“Are you sure you didn’t need time with _her_?” she wondered directly. 

Oliver dropped his hands to his sides and stared at her for a moment. Laurel stared back with unwavering eyes knowing she had caught him in this lie.

“I needed to talk to her, alright?” Oliver pressed his lips together, his tongue rolling in his mouth, trying to decide how exactly to begin this discussion...or argument...as the case might become. “There are some things going on in her life that deserved a face to face chat.”

“Even when you’re on vacation with your wife and daughter?” Laurel asked without raising her voice. “What is so important that you had to leave your family to traipse over to Portugal to _talk_ with your lover?”

Oliver closed his eyes and pressed his lips even more tightly, holding his tongue. “Personal issues...that don’t concern you,” he answered as he purposefully worked to stay calm.

“When _her _personal issues take you away from me and Dali, Oliver, they do concern me. You would rather be in Portugal with her than here with us. And that definitely concerns me.” Laurel looked down at her fingers on the bedspread and watched them as she picked at some piece of random thread.

Oliver also watched her and took a deep breath. “You’re right, Laurel,” he nodded and continued as she looked up at him with slight surprise. “Except...I have reached a point that I would prefer to be in Portugal with Felicity and _Dali_. You are the one that I would prefer to be away from. But you know that, don’t you?” He shook his head slowly and shrugged his shoulders.

He took another deep breath and turned his back on her momentarily. “You’re a smart woman, Laurel. You know - you have known since we started dating - that I need a physical relationship. I need someone who will hold me and touch me and kiss me and..._make love to me_. I admit that. I need that. And I swear to you, when Dali was conceived, the way we made love...you made me feel like you worshiped me. You gave me everything, I thought.”

As he turned back to her Laurel was looking toward him but not at him. He couldn’t tell if she was listening to him or not. 

“But a few weeks later, when you told me you were pregnant, you had already changed,” he continued. “I could tell. You were already starting to push me away -”

“Because I was pregnant Oliver!” Laurel finally looked into his eyes as he stood there. “My life changed because of one slip-up. Because I slept with you one too many times. One time without a condom because _you_ said it would be fine…”

Oliver’s eyes widened to the size of half dollars. His _wife_ was apparently carrying a hatred for him that had come about along with the most profound blessing in either of their lives.

He saw tears covering her eyes. For the first time in what felt like years, from what Oliver could recall, his wife was sharing something from her heart. Even if it meant breaking his, she was finally opening up.

He couldn’t bring himself to step toward her, although something in his mind took him back to the beginnings of their relationship. He recalled times of holding this woman in front of him and her returning the sentiment. Oliver recalled a few of those moments after their daughter was born, over the first few years of her young life. 

But Laurel’s admission led him solely to one conclusion. “So you’ve been angry with me for years. You’ve toyed with my emotions from the beginning of our marriage… Laurel, if you hated me for getting you pregnant, why did you marry me?” Oliver creased his eyebrows. He wanted to yell at her but something in the deepest part of him told him not to.

“Because if I was going to be tied down, I wanted that for you as well. I didn’t want our child growing up without her father. When I told you I was pregnant...I expected you to run away from it. I really did, Oliver. I had already planned to track you down and make you marry me.” The look of anger and disappointment on her face matched the cold tone of her voice.

“But instead you proposed to me on the spot. And it wasn’t a scared, fearful, ‘_Oh my god I’ve gotta marry her’_ kind of proposal. It was a smiling, pick-me-up, amazed-that-I- was-carrying-your-child kind of question.” Her voice wavered as she remembered Oliver’s reaction to the news that he was going to be a father.

“I wanted to be so angry with you. I wanted to hate you for completely changing the course of my life. Instead I was in your arms and...it felt right. And as we got married and when Dali was born, I couldn’t bring myself to hate you because you did everything you could to keep us happy.”

Oliver felt wetness under his eyes as he watched tears fall down his wife’s cheeks. He sat down at the foot of the bed, leaving ample space between them. He opened his mouth to say something, anything, but when nothing seemed appropriate, he simply looked at her. 

So Laurel continued, “But, as Dal has gotten older and you’ve tried to _make love _to me...I can’t get past the thought that your love changed my life, Oliver,” she shook her head without a smile, “but not in the way I wanted. I love Dali. She is _my_ child and I will love her and adore her and cherish her until my dying day. But the memory of you...and us…” again Laurel shook her head, shrugged her shoulders and got up off the bed.

“I don’t understand,” Oliver admitted as she walked into the bathroom looking for tissues.

He heard Laurel take a shaking, deep breath as she walked back into the bedroom. “I kept telling myself that I would get over it. That one day I would want you to touch me like that again...that I would appreciate your body the way I should and I would be able to let you completely take me again, someday…”

She crossed her arms over her chest and moved her lips around, trying to find the words to actually verbalize her next thought.

“With the show in Vancouver, it was a lot easier for me to be at home without you,” she admitted. “And when you started talking about your new guest star, _Felicity_, I could see how excited you were about her. When I met her and saw the two of you together, my idea of _someday_ started changing.”

Oliver could see the nervousness filling Laurel’s body. From the shakiness of her voice to the labored breaths she took as she spoke, to the uncertainty that was absolutely exuding from her usually unwavering stance.

“Instead of finding _my someday_ when I would crave your touch and having your body next to mine again...I started wondering if you were already sharing that with her. And it made me angry...and yet, then, it made me content. If you were having sex with her then you wouldn’t want it with me.”

Oliver nodded, albeit sadly, as he looked away from her. “That’s why you weren’t furious when I told you that Felicity and I had kissed. That’s why you didn’t want the counseling sessions…”

“You made love to her the night after our last session, didn’t you? After I told the counselor that our family would be better off if you had a mistress at work…”

“Because you just didn’t want me to touch you that way…” Oliver sucked in a long breath and looked at his wife. “Yes,” he answered her. “I didn’t know where else to turn. I wasn’t going to talk to the damn counselor. I was embarrassed. I had no idea what I had done to you. I _needed_ someone to hold me that night, Laurel. You broke me in that session. I needed someone to make me feel like I could still be loved. You pulled the rug all the way out from under me.”

“Were you already in love with her at that point? Or was it just supposed to be a fling?” Laurel wondered honestly.

Oliver looked at the floor, his eyes not focusing on anything in particular. “Felicity is-”

“Please don’t use her name right now,” Laurel closed her eyes, the frown on her face telling him she just wanted answers, not a personalized account.

“She was a friend...a best friend...when we kissed I felt guilty. I told you that. But after that session with the counselor, when I went back to her my guilt went out the door. She listened, she didn’t judge, she held me and she _touched _me, Laurel. She made me feel like I was something more than just an actor bringing home a paycheck. She convinced me again that I was a man who could be loved. She _loved _me and _she_ showed me how that love could be...not just physically, Sweetheart, but in my heart, too.” He placed his fingertips on his heart and tapped strongly.

Laurel put her hand over her mouth as the two of them held gazes. 

Oliver thought about what had been said and shared in the last half hour. He thought about what he wanted to say next and the impact and potential reaction his words might now bring. After a few moments of consideration he swallowed roughly and looked at his wife who was standing there in silence.

“I’ve fallen in love with Felicity, Laurel. You know that. You’ve seen it. Where you took much of my strength and my self esteem, she gives it back to me. She was a light in my life when the only other flicker I had was Dali. So I won’t deny that I love her. And, in light of what you’re telling me now, I think it would be best for us to separate and start thinking toward making that separation permanent.”

Laurel continued to stare at him, the only difference becoming the darkness of her eyes. “Your _affair _will cost you your daughter.”

Oliver closed his eyes. The one sentence she could possibly say to make him furious was the one she had just chosen to speak.

“_You_ may want to rethink that." It took everything in him to speak calmly while gritting his teeth in anger. "You have ammunition that I will fight in court with a counselor who heard you say I should find someone else. You need to find a way to support our daughter besides depending on your father’s wealth. And, I promise you, I can provide a stable home for Dals with a woman who will love her and can relate to her -”

“I won’t have _her_ taking my place. I am your daughter’s mother. Your little tramp-”

“_That’s enough!_” Oliver stopped her before the hole was dug any deeper. His voice bounced off the walls of the room and caught Laurel by surprise. “Keep your thoughts about Felicity to yourself.” He breathed in and out a few times with his jaw ticking from the anger that still seeped through his veins.

When she again stood silently, Oliver crossed his arms over his chest. “I’m taking Dali back home in a couple of days. I don’t feel like finishing this _vacation_. You and Sara stay here as long as you want. I don’t give a damn.”

“You can’t think I’m going to let you take our daughter and leave?!” Laurel’s eyes showed fire again.

“I don’t just think it. I plan to do it. I’m not arguing custody with you here. And I’m not taking the chance of _you_ running away with her somewhere else.” He thought for another second and calmed himself slightly. “I will take her back and she can stay with Mom for a few weeks. You can send the nanny up there to keep an eye on things. I don’t _want_ to fight you about custody, Laurel. We both love Dali and we don’t want to see her hurt. That’s why we’ve stayed together this long. But it’s time. It’s beyond time.”

As if on cue, they heard the door of their vacation home open and the giggles of the little girl who owned both their hearts. 

“Mommy? Daddy?” Dali called to try and find them.

Sara wandered toward the bedroom and quickly saw the solemn, tear-stained faces on both of Dali’s parents.

“Damn bastard,” Laurel tossed at Oliver before heading back into the bathroom.

Oliver looked at Sara without a smile or any hint of an explanation. “Where’s my daughter? I need to talk to her.”

* * *

**What If – Chapter 11**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and for the comments you are giving me. I really appreciate your feedback and your take on the various situations happening in this story. It has been a lot to put together and I hope it is making sense!
> 
> Chapter 12 Tease:  
Donna put a gentle hand on his bicep. “Oliver, Sweetheart, this is just an initial exam to figure out what Felicity needs to do next.”
> 
> Oliver nodded but then looked eye to eye with Donna. “And I told her she wouldn’t go through any of this alone. If you don’t mind, I need to get back there."
> 
> He turned to the receptionist, “I’m here with Felicity Smoak. My name should be on her information. I’m Oliver Queen. Sorry, I’m a little late, but I need to catch up to her, please.”


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meet Mom. Donna is supportive and yet protective of her daughter and she is an insightful woman, willing to help in almost any way for Felicity's happiness. Welcome back to Vancouver and the next step in facing the truth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Meet Donna Smoak! In this Curved Reality, she is not quite as flighty as the Vegas casino mom on the show. (But I LOVE Charlotte Ross's 'Mama Donna' and wish we could've had more of her!) This Donna is more of a counselor with some psych understanding to draw from.
> 
> Just a reminder, on this medical journey, I have not been through any of this myself. So if something seems out of place or if you've been through this and my info is completely wrong, please don't hesitate to let me know. I have done some research and hope that I portray this somewhat realistically. But if you disagree or have other thoughts on options or outcomes, please, please let me know. You can comment or dm me, I don't mind.
> 
> Again I appreciate your input and your comments.
> 
> Now, off to Vancouver...

** **

**Curved Reality:**

**What If – Chapter 12**

* * *

Felicity took a deep breath as she looked around the small, sterile room. As many times as she had told Ray and Oliver that she would take care of this, the reality of it was now settling in. 

What had the nurse told her to do again? Oh, right, remove shirt and bra, gown on opening to the front, have a seat and wait. That last thing was what she was dreading most...the waiting.

She had left Donna in the waiting room. Her mother assured her she wouldn’t go anywhere. The older woman had asked a half a dozen times if Felicity wanted her to go back with her. It was a breast exam, not the annual gynecological, invasive testing. 

But Felicity had told her ‘no.’ She knew it had nothing to do with her mother seeing her breasts. For God’s sake she could care less about that. It was more about handling this herself. _And still praying this marble-sized hellmaker was just going to disappear._

It hadn’t. That’s why she was here. She had hoped to cancel this appointment, in all honesty, once they got back home...when it would just _poof_ and go away. It hadn’t.

So, she looked around the room and took her time as she put down her purse and began to think about what this exam and the sure-to-come followup procedures might involve.

\-----

Donna nervously flipped through the same magazine that she had grabbed when she and her daughter first walked into this doctor’s office. Her mind flooded with thoughts that ranged from family medical histories to Felicity’s uncomplicated health throughout her life to the recent stress in her daughter’s life and the conversations that the two of them had shared since Felicity got home from her month-long trip abroad.

_"You’re back early,” Donna watched her daughter come through the back door of her home as she would any other time she visited. _

_She knew Felicity and Ray had returned early from the jaunt to Portugal and knew there had to be a reason. Felicity didn’t cut trips short. She was more likely to stay longer if she was truly enjoying herself._

_“Mom, I need to talk to you,” Felicity had started plainly enough, her tone making Donna wonder if she had done or said something to upset her daughter._

_“What’s wrong?” The default answer seemed impersonal but pertinent in this particular case._

_Felicity took a deep breath. “Let’s sit down. I need to just get this out there and I would like to go ahead and ask you to go to at least the first doctor’s visit with me just to make sure I go…”_

_Donna looked at her daughter's nervous face. After a moment her own eyes widened with the first real thought that hit her. "Oh Dear God, you’re pregnant aren’t you? Felicity, Honey, you told me you and Oliver… wait, you haven’t even been with Oliver… Ray? Oh Sweetheart, when...how… Oh, my Baby…”_

_Felicity pressed her lips together and took a semi-deep breath. She thought about the way she had phrased her initial line to this conversation and realized pretty easily why her mom was jumping to this conclusion._

_“Mom…” She looked at Donna who now had a hand over her mouth and her eyes closed thinking about the incorrect scenario. “Mom?” Felicity again called for her and was glad that Donna at least opened her eyes._

_“I’m not pregnant,” she stated clearly. “I wish...no, scratch that, I don’t want that either. But I’m not sure what would be worse at this point,” Felicity rambled slightly._

_"What are you saying?” Donna watched her daughter and found her mind growing more worried._

_Felicity licked her lips and looked directly into her mother’s eyes. “I found a lump,” she started quietly and then looked down toward her chest. “In my right breast, while we were in England, I was in the shower and I felt this marble-sized...thing…” She touched her breast with her fingertips where she was now overly familiar with the foreign object._

_“What?” Donna looked back and forth between Felicity’s face and where her fingers were gingerly touching. “You’re 28. We don’t have a history of breast cancer...what is it?” She simply asked the first thoughts that came to her mind._

_“We...I don’t know. I’ve got an appointment with Dr. Evans later this week and I would like you to go with me. Just, you know, moral support,” Felicity attempted to seem unfazed by the issue._

_Donna nodded at her. “Of course. Whatever you need me to do. Have you had a mammogram?” she wondered._

_Felicity shook her head. “No. Like I said, my first hint of anything was while we were in England.” She looked down toward the table as she remembered yet again the whole string of events. “I ignored it at first. I thought it would just go away on its own. But then Ray felt it and wanted to come back home right then and there…”_

_Donna watched her daughter. “Why was Ray…” she stopped herself from finishing the question when Felicity’s eyes shot her a warning glance._

_“He called Oliver and the next thing I knew Oliver was in Portugal telling me I had to come home to get this checked out,” she shook her head as Donna raised her eyebrows attempting to listen and understand what her daughter was saying about two men who obviously cared deeply for her._

_"Where was Oliver? He came to Portugal?” Donna shook her head wanting more details...or not._

_“The whole thing got out of hand. I told them both I would take care of this. It’s my body, my life. That’s exactly what I told them. But neither of them listened to me. They think they have some say…”_

_“Felicity, you’re ignoring my question,” Donna interrupted._

_Felicity looked at her mother, showing her the 10-year-old, mischievous little girl who did things with the best intentions but ended up needing help to stay out of trouble._

_“Honey, I don’t want to ask you to start at the beginning. But all I got from you on your glorious journey was texts and a couple of phone calls saying where you were and listing your agenda. Besides the convention you attended, none of your plans included Oliver,” Donna reminded her._

_“You know…” Felicity laid her hands in front of her on the kitchen table, palms up as she rewound her story in her mind to try and simplify it for her mother. “I hadn’t really talked to Oliver since the last day on set. So it was already like a reunion when I saw him at the convention. That’s why I agreed to go. Because it was me, him and John. They are like family, Mom.”_

_Donna nodded. “Honey, they are more than family. I know that. I’m well aware.”_

_Felicity sighed. “But I also had more confrontations with Laurel. I didn’t realize she and Dals were going to be there. She reminded me - yet again - that she is Oliver’s wife,” Felicity rolled her eyes._

_Donna nodded and simply waited for more._

_“Oliver asked to talk to me, one on one, that Saturday night. I tried to ignore his calls and texts but Ray threatened to go talk to him if I didn’t. So I went. It was late, after the bar had closed and the talk ended up in a make-out session…”_

_“Felicity,” Donna tried not to scold her adult daughter._

_“I walked away, Mom. It...he...we,” she stuttered slightly, “I walked away before we went all the way,” she admitted. “I went back to my room, he went back to Laurel, and then we saw each other at the panel the next day and we both completely ignored what had happened because we both knew it shouldn’t have happened,” she explained._

_“Then as we were wrapping things up, having drinks at the after party, John told me I needed to talk to Oliver but Laurel was nearby and I couldn’t even stand the thought of being around the two of them together. Dali...that little girl...I just...Ray and I left the party early, went back to our room and as I was showering that night, that’s when I found the lump.”_

_Felicity breathed in and out slowly as she thought about everything. A lot had transpired over the past two months and she began to realize how much all of it was impacting her life._

_Donna watched her closely. The various facial expressions hit the emotion-loving mom in the heart. She didn’t want to think of her daughter as a patient, but she could still put her knowledge into play, reading Felicity’s body language and the hurt and sadness that was in her heart._

_She let Felicity sit quietly without asking more questions for the moment. Donna went to the fridge and grabbed waters for the both of them. When she handed a bottle to her daughter, she purposefully ran her fingertips over the back of Felicity’s hand which brought a slight, closed lip smile to the young woman’s face._

_“You didn’t tell anyone about it?” Donna wondered as she sat down again._

_Felicity shook her head. “No. I figured it was just from the stress of everything. Just something weird going on that would go away in a few days. There was no way I was going to tell Oliver about it and I didn’t want to bother Ray because we were finally heading out on the rest of our trip.”_

_“Have there been any changes in the lump over the past couple of weeks? Size...location...you haven’t noticed anything, any other masses or anything out of the ordinary?” Donna ventured to ask._

_Felicity shook her head. “No. A few days into Portugal I finally sucked it up and did the whole self breast exam thing. I didn’t then and I haven’t felt anything else besides this one spot. That’s a good thing, right?”_

_Donna nodded. “Did you check under your arms? There are lymph nodes there that sometimes get affected. Are you on birth control, or hormones? Sometimes those cause little inconsistencies.”_

_Felicity listened intently and nodded or shook her head to answer her mother. “My birth control is the same as I’ve had for two years now. It’s intrauterine. Dr. Evans inserted it for me, so I figured I will ask about that when I see her. I really didn’t think about that causing the lump, though…”_

_Donna nodded. “I don’t know, Sweetheart, I’m just tossing out thoughts,” she sighed and looked back at her daughter. “Now let’s go back a second,” Donna continued._

_Felicity waited, wondering what else was crossing her mother’s mind. _

_“Have you and Ray been...involved...on this trip? I thought the two of you were just friends. I mean, how did he find this lump if you didn’t tell him?” Donna was working up to asking about the man that Felicity truly was involved with._

_Felicity gave her mother a slight glare. There were certain parts of her life that she didn’t want to share with this woman, but again, this woman seemed to know a lot more already about Felicity’s life._

_“He was tickling me, Mom. You know Ray and I are closer than I am with most of my friends. He was tickling me and his hand brushed over my breast and I reacted to him touching it. He knew something wasn’t right and he made me tell him.” Felicity’s voice grew a bit deeper with the thought that if he hadn’t tickled her…_

_“And he told Oliver?” Donna pressed._

_Felicity nodded and looked down at her hands on the table. “Ray told Oliver, Oliver called me and apparently a phone conversation wasn’t good enough. He came to Portugal and found me - with Ray’s help, of course,” she flared her nostrils and puckered her lips at the memory of being set up by the two men._

_“And?” Donna asked, with a voice that was simply curious._

_“And we talked. The talk that Oliver wanted to have in England, we had in Portugal. He…” Felicity hesitated and swallowed the lump in her throat. “We spent the night together. He is intimately aware of my breast issue and he wants to be listed on my medical forms.”_

_Donna raised her chin and nodded as Felicity’s verbage made complete sense in her mind. “Why would you do that? List him on your forms. He’s not your husband, he’s not family,” she wondered honestly._

_“Because,” Felicity started and her voice got quiet as she realized what she was admitting to her mother, “I love him and I want him to know.”_

_Donna drew in a quiet breath and simply looked at her daughter. She adored Oliver. She hated the fact that he was professing to love her daughter and yet he was a married man. Donna had become a woman living in the in-between on this matter. She wanted her daughter’s happiness and Oliver seemed to provide that for Felicity. But how could either of them be happy if he was tied to an unhappy marriage. _

\-----

Her mind clicked back to the present scene when she heard voices talking at the check-in window. Donna was only slightly surprised to see the familiar profile of the man she was just thinking about.

He was asking if Felicity was there for her appointment and seemed a bit nervous or embarrassed.

“Oliver?” Donna put down the magazine and stood up from the couch in the corner.

Oliver immediately turned around and smiled with relief as he recognized her.

“I am so glad you’re here,” he stepped toward Felicity’s mother and wrapped his arms around her. “I thought she would come alone and I was worried that she wouldn’t actually show up,” he shared quietly.

Donna thought about his words. “They just took her back to an exam room. She didn’t say anything about you being here. I thought you were still in Spain,” her eyebrows creased with slight confusion.

Oliver grasped onto her first line but ignored the rest. “Will they let me be there with her? I need to go back to her room.”

Donna put a gentle hand on his bicep. “Oliver, Sweetheart, it’s just a breast exam. That’s all Dr. Evans is going to do today. There’s no mammogram or biopsy, or anything like that. This is just an initial exam to figure out what Felicity needs to do next.”

Oliver nodded but then looked eye to eye with Donna. “And I told her she wouldn’t go through any of this alone. If you don’t mind, I need to get back there,” he directed his head toward the door and then stepped back toward the receptionist.

“I’m here with Felicity Smoak. My name should be on her information. I’m Oliver Queen. Sorry, I’m a little late, but I need to catch up to her, please.”

Donna watched to see how Oliver’s gentle demand would go over with the medical staff. She wasn’t overly surprised when the woman looked at Oliver and smiled. Donna was slightly surprised by the woman’s answer, however.

“Sure, Mr. Queen, just come through the door on your left and we’ll take you right to her.”

“Thank you, um, Madison,” he caught the woman’s name pinned to her top. “Thank you!” Oliver turned toward Felicity’s mom again, stepped over and pressed a soft kiss to her cheek. “I’m not gonna leave her alone. Not for any part of this if I can help it,” he explained.

“Oliver,” Donna ducked her eyebrows with a question. “How did you know about her appointment? Felicity said she didn’t tell you when it was.” 

Oliver blushed slightly and smiled at Felicity’s mother. “That ‘find your iPhone’ app comes in handy.”

And just like that, the nurse opened the door and Donna watched the handsome gentleman walk back toward her daughter. She suddenly felt some butterflies flitting in her stomach. How would Felicity react to him being there? How would Laurel react or did she even know? And ultimately, was Oliver really in this to help Felicity for the potential long haul.

The one thing she realized again...married or not, Oliver really did love her daughter.

* * *

W**hat If – Chapter 12**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for reading. I appreciate any comments and reviews that you'd like to leave! They don't have to be positive, but if you could keep them constructive and not nasty, that would be nice. 
> 
> Chapter 13 Tease:  
“What are you doing here?” Felicity looked at him with raised eyebrows. “How did you even know I was here? I didn’t tell you…” she rolled her eyes. “Oh - my - God...I am going to kill him. Where’s my phone?”
> 
> “Don’t!” Oliver stopped her from grabbing the device by grasping both her hands in one of his. “Ray told me your appointment was this morning first thing. I ping’d your phone when I pulled into the parking lot a few minutes ago and saw that you were already here.”
> 
> “So now you’re stalking me?” 
> 
> “That’s not new…” Oliver admitted with a quirky grin.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An exam reveals more than just an initial medical diagnosis. It's a heart-strengthening step needed by two people who want their love to continue - even if one of them is still having a hard time accepting that fact.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Being in a doctor's office is nerve-wracking enough. I'm a white-coat anxious/blood pressure goes out the window patient when it comes to medical visits. I don't know if Felicity is like that or not, but I can imagine the fears and anxieties she is facing. I hope that comes across in this chapter.
> 
> Now back to Dr. Evans's office somewhere in Vancouver...

** **

**Curved Reality:**

**What If – Chapter 13**

* * *

The knock on the door was soft and followed by the sound of the nurse's voice, “Ms. Smoak?”

Felicity had just reached for the gown but hadn’t undressed behind the pulled curtain. She suspected maybe she had missed a line on one of the medical forms so she easily gave permission for the door to open.

But when it did, she saw a familiar pair of shoes under the curtain as she heard the same nurse explain, “Mr. Queen says he is supposed to be here with you. Is that alright?”

“Oliver,” Felicity spoke his name and he knew the tone. She wasn’t overly angry at him but given the chance she would lecture him in some form or fashion. She breathed a quick breath out through her nose. “Yes, that’s...it...he’s fine.”

Oliver waited as the nurse left the room and closed the door. Then he stood on the other side of the curtain and didn’t say a word until Felicity pulled the divider back slightly to see him. “Well come on in,” she instructed and he took the few additional steps to come into her space as she pulled the curtain back around for additional privacy.

“What are you doing here?” Felicity looked at him with raised eyebrows and pointed toward the chair where she had planned to put her shirt and bra once she undressed.

Instead of answering her he simply smiled, stepped toward her, put one hand on her cheek and gave her a quick, gentle kiss to the lips. “Are you okay?” he wondered.

She again looked at him, this time with a tilted head as she licked his coffee flavor off her lips and tried not to relish in the tingly feeling that his mustache and beard always left behind.

“How did you even know I was here? I didn’t tell you…” she rolled her eyes. “Oh my God I am going to kill him. Where’s my phone?”

“Don’t!” Oliver stopped her from grabbing the device by grasping both her hands in one of his. “Ray told me your appointment was this morning first thing. I ping’d your phone when I pulled into the parking lot a few minutes ago and saw that you were already here.”

“So now you’re stalking me?” Felicity looked at him and realized she had done absolutely nothing to remove her hands from his.

“That’s not new…” Oliver admitted with a quirky grin.

Felicity rolled her eyes again. “How did you even know where the office is?”

Oliver cocked his eyebrows up and down. “I do have some computer skills. I know how to look up a doctor’s office location with Google.”

Felicity breathed out a more relaxed breath and then tugged at her hands to make him release them. “Fine. That one makes sense.”

Oliver let go of her hands and watched as she grabbed the gown out of the chair and again pointed for him to sit down. “So you won’t kill Ray, right? I mean he just told me when the appointment was. The rest of this is all on me. You know I wanted to be here for you. Why didn’t _you_ tell me?” he asked.

Felicity turned her back toward Oliver and began removing her shirt and tossed it onto the exam table before attempting to reach behind her to unclasp her bra. In a split second she felt Oliver’s hands on hers as he easily unlatched the three hook and eye closures. 

Felicity slipped her arms out of the straps and tossed the garment on top of her shirt. Oliver grabbed the gown and held it open as Felicity slid her arms into the sleeves and began tying the thin belt around her waist to cover her naked chest until the doctor arrived.

As she tied the belt he grabbed her shirt and bra, folded them neatly together and held them. Felicity climbed up on the table and sat with her legs dangling over the edge. In Oliver’s mind she was adorably cute, and in that instance, she was nervous. He would admit readily, so was he.

In the moment of silence he took his index finger, hooked it under her chin and raised it enough to place another kiss against her lips. “Lici, why didn’t _you_ tell me about this appointment? You know I wanna be here for you.”

She shared his kiss this time, letting their lips stay together for a second or two longer than a simple, friendly greeting.

She shrugged her shoulders. “When you left Portugal, the plan was for you to go and talk to Laurel. I figured I would let you know what was happening with me when you let me know what was happening with you. Besides, you’re supposed to still be in Spain right now. I told you I would handle this. I didn’t want you ending your vacay early because I had a doctor’s appointment.”

Oliver nodded. He sat down in the chair and held her clothing in his lap carefully. He looked at her face and smiled simply because he was happy to be with her, no matter where they were.

“How about, you just plan on telling me when you have appointments and plan on me being here for them. I left Spain early because Laurel and I had a discussion. That’s nothing for you to worry about or think about right now. Right now I am here for you and my focus is on you - as it should be.” He looked at her pointedly with the silent instruction to just let it drop for now.

As he finished his explanation there was another soft knock on the door with the fine doctor making her entrance.

“Felicity?” Dr. Evans asked before making her way around the curtain.

“Yes, Ma’am, that’s me,” Felicity laughed nervously. 

The doctor, wearing atypical scrubs with cartoon llamas on her coat came around and found herself slightly startled to also have a man in the room. “Oh! Well hello there!” she smiled at Oliver and stuck out her hand. “I’m Dr. Evans. Sorry, hubbies don’t usually come in for-”

“Oh, he’s not my husband!” Felicity quickly interjected.

“Oh! I’m so sorry...I know better than to assume these things,” Dr. Evans blushed profusely with both embarrassment and in apology for her mistake.

“I’m her -”

“He’s my friend,” Felicity supplied before Oliver could fill in whatever he had in mind. “He’s my very, supportive friend,” she added with a glance that Oliver couldn’t quite read.

“I’m Oliver,” he said simply and held his hand out just to add another bit of regularity to the somewhat awkward situation.

The doctor and Felicity’s _friend_ started over again with a laugh and new pleasantries. But within a matter of seconds, the doctor turned her entire focus onto her patient as Oliver sat in the chair and simply looked between both women.

“So you are here because of an unwelcome finding. Is that what I understand?” The doctor, in her late forties, looked at Felicity who nodded. “When did you first notice it?”

Felicity took a deep breath and began recounting the timeline that she recalled in its simplest form. “I was in the shower, almost three weeks ago now and felt it then,” she paused for a second. “I was out of the country and I was hoping it was just something stress related. So I didn’t call immediately. I wanted to be back home before I really started to worry about it.”

With a simple nod Dr. Evans started asking Felicity similar questions to those Donna had posed to her at the kitchen table. “Any changes since you found the lump...any additional lumps...any other symptoms?”

Felicity answered each of the questions easily as Oliver listened intently. But he noticed, as she answered each question her voice got softer. She was getting more nervous even though her answers didn’t point to anything more serious than what she was already facing. 

He realized then that perhaps, for the first time, she was facing the truth.

Without a word, he scooted his chair just a bit closer to the exam bed and reached out to hold her hand. He expected Felicity to push his hand away as soon as he touched her. But instead she looked down to where his fingers were linking with hers and gratefully let him lace their fingers together.

She squeezed quite tightly once they were connected giving Oliver a silent ‘thank you.’ He squeezed back and ran his thumb over the back of her hand, sending a bit of warmth all over her body that she truly needed.

The next moment, as the doctor had turned and was pulling up Felicity’s chart on her laptop, Felicity sniffled.

Dr. Evans turned to look at her and smiled softly. “It’s okay to be scared, Felicity.” She stepped back toward her patient and put a hand on Felicity’s arm. “I can’t stand here and tell you that it’s all going to be alright because we are just getting started on this. We are going to do all we can to make sure you are fine. Your age, your health, your family history all point to this being nothing. But until we know, you can be nervous and scared. It’s alright,” the doctor pointed at Oliver, “you’ve obviously got a wonderful support crew by your side. Let them help you. Okay? Doctor’s best advice? Let them help you and pamper you and be here for you.”

The doctor smiled at her again, gave her bicep a squeeze and then turned back to look at the medical charts on the computer. Oliver stood from his seat immediately and wrapped his arms around her. “This is why I’m here,” he whispered against her ear. “You’re not going through this alone, okay?”

He felt her hands on his sides and her forehead nodding in agreement against his shoulder. “I love you,” he added with a kiss to the top of her head and another on her temple as he sat back down.

“Now,” Dr. Evans turned back around. “Felicity, let’s have you lie back, stretch your legs out here,” she pulled the footrest from the base of the table. “We’ve done breast exams before. This is just your typical exam. I’m going to untie the gown and use my fingertips to touch around each breast to feel for anything unusual. I know you said the lump is in your right breast but we’re going to check both, to make sure that is the only area in question. Alright?”

Felicity nodded as she lay back on the table. She glanced toward Oliver whose eyes were focused on the doctor. Felicity stretched her hand back toward him which immediately changed his line of sight to her as he connected their hands again.

He continued watching their fingers move back and forth together as the doctor uncovered Felicity’s right breast and began the exam.

Oliver glanced up when Felicity took in a slight gasp of air. He looked directly at the doctor wondering what she had done until Felicity admitted...the doctor’s fingers were cold. Dr. Evans apologized.

“It’s about a three-finger width away from her nipple on the lower, outer side of her right breast,” Oliver said as the doctor seemed to be inching slowly toward the area.

Felicity looked at him with eyebrows dipped. “I’m sorry, did you want to play doctor?”

Oliver grinned at her and blushed.

“That’s not what I meant!” Felicity blushed as well as Dr. Evans grinned at them. She stayed quiet knowing now, for sure, that ‘friend’ wasn’t the completely correct term for this couple.

The blushes and grins went away quickly, however as the doctor reached the point, about three finger-widths away from Felicity’s nipple where she, too, felt the knot in question.

For several moments, the doctor focused on that one spot. She pinched and prodded and made notes on her computer about the size, shape and hardness. Oliver and Felicity were fully aware of what she was noting because Oliver asked directly. He noted the tears forming in Felicity’s eyes and assured her that he would ask questions and they would know everything possible about the situation.

Dr. Evans didn’t mind at all. After all, this was her patient’s health they were discussing. The patient had every right to know.

The doctor continued her exam on Felicity’s left breast as Oliver watched closely. Felicity had closed her eyes in silent prayer that the doctor wouldn’t find anything else that perhaps she had missed. And, one minuscule part of her wanted to simply be back at the bed and breakfast in Portugal letting Oliver give her breasts his loving attention.

As she lay there quietly, Felicity again wondered what would’ve happened if Oliver had discovered this lump. She thought two things about that. First, that would’ve meant that he was there with her and they were together. Second, the situation would probably be much the same as it was right now. He would be here, beside her, even if she tried to keep him away.

She again squeezed his hand and Oliver looked toward her face. He wasn’t smiling as he had a million of his own thoughts about this situation running through his head. But when he saw the tears in her eyes he lifted her hand to his lips and kissed the back of it softly.

When the doctor finished her exam she looked at both Felicity and Oliver. “You’re right,” she pointed toward Felicity. “The only lump I feel is the one in your right breast. Everything else seems to be normal from my perspective.” She then turned her eyes toward Oliver. “You are correct as well. Spot on in the location of this lump.”

The doctor took a step back and again looked at both of them. “I have already assumed far too much about the two of you, and I apologize for that, again. However, Mr. Oliver, since you are sitting in this exam room with her and are aware of the location of this mass, I _am_ going to suggest that you continue paying particularly close attention to her breast tissue and breast health. If, over the course of this treatment, or in the future, you notice any changes...any lumps...anything out of the ordinary, do not hesitate to tell her.”

Oliver nodded strongly as he listened. “Yes Ma’am,” he answered obediently. 

“Now,” the doctor continued. “We need to discuss what happens next. So, I want you to take a few minutes to get dressed. Like I said, it’s okay to be scared, so take some time right here to calm your nerves and remind yourself that we are going to do everything possible to make sure you’re taken care of, Ms. Felicity. And, we are just going to take this one step at a time.”

She waited for both Felicity and Oliver to nod in understanding.

“When you’re dressed and ready, there’s a conference room just down the hallway. I’ll be down there waiting for you with my suggestions for what we need to do next and some information that will probably be really helpful for you to read.”

Again Felicity and Oliver nodded at the doctor. They waited for her to leave before saying anything else and then instead of saying anything, Oliver wrapped his arms around her and buried his lips against her scalp.

Felicity wrapped her arms around his neck and tiptoed slightly until she felt his arms holding her up at her waist. 

“I don’t want to need you right now, but I do,” she confessed. Oliver moved his lips and nose across the top of her head peppering kisses as he moved.

“I’m not going anywhere,” Oliver whispered the promise.

“But you can’t stay with me. Laurel and Dali….”

“Dali is with my mom. She’s here in Vancouver. I don't know where Laurel is. She could still be in Spain or Australia or in L.A. at this point. And I really don’t give a damn about what she thinks. She has no clue what’s going on and it’s none of her business.”

“But she will take -”

“She won’t take anything, Baby… Felicity, listen to me. Whatever Laurel said to you over the past year and half, just screw it. Forget about it. I will deal with her. I _am_ dealing with her. Felicity, just trust me on that, Baby, please. Right now, we worry about you. Do you understand me?”

Oliver pushed himself away from Felicity just enough to look down into her face. A few more tears dripped over her cheeks and Oliver quickly stepped to the sink to grab some tissues for her. He used them to blot the tears from under her eyes and then pressed kisses to both eyes and her forehead and cheeks. 

“Do you understand?” he asked again and Felicity nodded.

“Do you want me to step out while you get dressed?” he offered and Felicity shook her head. 

Instead she turned her back toward Oliver once more, untied the gown and removed it, tossing the thin cloth into the dirty clothes hamper on the wall. She looked back over her shoulder at him hoping that he would wordlessly understand her request. 

And he did.

Oliver took her bra and held it in front of her as he stood at her back. She laced her arms through the straps and adjusted the cups in the front as Oliver re-hooked the closures on the back. Then he held her shirt up to her like a father helping a child.

When she was back in her normal, street clothes they both took in a deep breath and looked at the other. Felicity reached her fingers to his scruff of a beard and let her tips scrape across his facial hair and skin. 

“We should go see what else Dr. Evans has to say. The sooner this gets going, the sooner we will have answers and know what we are dealing with,” Oliver suggested.

Felicity liked the way he was saying ‘we’. She had tried to avoid it...even thinking about it. But in this moment, it sounded like the most reassuring thing she could ever hear.

“Do you want me to go get Donna?” Oliver suggested.

Felicity nodded but before he could move toward the door she grabbed his hand again.

“Thank you,” she offered him a smile before quickly wrapping her hands around his neck again, tiptoeing up and placing a firm kiss against his lips. Oliver was happily caught off guard by that but welcomed her with supportive arms around her waist and a pair of pillowy lips that wanted to continue kissing her for the next hour...or two...or three.

When Felicity lowered herself back to the floor she continued sharing his gaze. “I love you, ya know?” she breathed deeply and offered him a genuine smile.

Oliver smiled back at her and leaned his head to the side. “That’s nice to hear,” he admitted. “You know I love you, too?”

Felicity closed her eyes and took in another deep breath, holding it for a few seconds as though she was basking in it. “I’m gonna be okay,” she nodded after another few moments.

Oliver nodded with her. “I’m gonna make sure of that.”

The two of them stepped toward the door with a little more strength and a bit of reassurance. Somehow things would be okay, if they faced them together.

* * *

**What If – Chapter 13**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. I love these two characters together. I could watch them for hours and hours and hours - even if they're just sitting on a couch and talking about dinner plans! lol! They are fun and loving and I'm just so happy to have them roaming my imagination! hehe!
> 
> I hope you're enjoying the story. Please toss me a review or kudos to let me know what you think! This chapter is about the halfway point of the story. Thanks for sticking with me.:)
> 
> Chapter 14 Tease:  
Oliver nodded and sighed against the phone. “You will never be incapable of being your own woman, Lici. Don’t you ever doubt it. No matter what happens in your future, in our future, you are a strong, badass woman and that is not going to change. It’s one of the million reasons I love you.”


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What's next? More tests, more stress, more learning about one another and finding a way to help and accept that help. And in the middle of it all, a bright spot, a little light in middle of the chaos.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sure, even with 3 kids of my own, that I am making Dali out to be far more intuitive and smart beyond her young 6 years. But I was an only child and now in my old age I'm remembering things that I did in those early years and I realize I probably acted older because I was constantly around adults. Maybe that's why I envision Dallas picking up on so many quirks and feelings.
> 
> I hope you'll just let me roll with it and her! Just like Ray, the more I wrote Dali, the more I fell in love with her. ;)
> 
> Now...somewhere in Vancouver...

** **

**Curved Reality:**

**What If – Chapter 14**

* * *

When they left Dr. Evans’ office there were a half dozen pamphlets to read; instructions _not_ to look up anything on the internet (which would be ignored, of course); and the expectation of a phone call specifying when and where Felicity needed to go for the mammogram the doctor had ordered.

They knew it was coming. Donna had been a champ, encouraging both Felicity and Oliver and assuring Felicity that breast cancer did not run in their family. 

But on the ride home - Oliver insisted on driving the ladies home - Donna broke down, quietly, in the back seat. The idea of her baby girl having to face any of this finally came to the surface. She apologized profusely to Felicity who cried along with her mother but appreciated seeing those feelings. Just like she had appreciated Oliver’s in the exam room.

Oliver felt like an intruder, slightly, as he watched mother and daughter console each other in the rear view mirror. When they got to Donna’s house he offered to grab an Uber and leave them alone, but both women asked him to stay. He made himself useful, getting waters and even fixing salads for them to have lunch together as Felicity again went over what the doctor had said.

Each of them sat at the table nibbling their food and looking at the various pamphlets that talked about potential diagnoses ranging from scar tissue to breast cancer. Oliver watched Felicity closely as she scanned through each paper. He knew she really wasn’t reading all of the information. And, he knew her mind was already wrapping around the worst of the worst. 

What if this was cancer?

After another hour which included talking, thinking and another slight breakdown from Donna, Oliver could tell Felicity was ready to leave. They needed to drive her car back to the office to get his vehicle. The drive was quiet with both of them going over everything that had happened during the first half of the day.

Felicity did reach over and put her hand on top of Oliver’s as he drove one handed and rested his right hand on his thigh. He quickly glanced over to make sure she was alright and saw the nervous smile on her lips. He turned his hand over, took hers into his and raised it to his lips to kiss her soft skin.

“Thank you, again,” Felicity gestured.

“For what?” Oliver knew and Felicity knew she didn’t have to thank him for anything.

“For being here, for me, for Mom. For putting up with both of us when the tears came,” she knew there were 52 other reasons to thank him but those were at the top of her list for the moment.

“I’m your support crew. Doctor’s orders, right? You and Donna, you need to lean on me,” Oliver reminded her.

Felicity used her free hand to run her fingers through her hair as she looked out the window. “You have other things to deal with,” she thought about their chat earlier that day in the exam room and their last conversation in Portugal. 

“Not as important as this. Don’t start with me again. Don’t start the low voice, go away and leave me alone lecture. I’m not falling for it. Not now.” Oliver squeezed her hand. “Hey, look at me,” he insisted she turn her eyes toward him. He glanced back and forth between her and the road. “Did you hear me?”

Felicity tilted her head and smiled at him. “Yes, Dad,” she drew out the moniker like a whiny teenager making Oliver grin. “Speaking of, when did you start treating me like Dali? I don’t need a fatherly lecture. I can get one of those with a simple phone call to my own dad.”

“Do you not realize how pouty you’ve been? You’re either whining that I shouldn’t be here - _my_ choice by the way...Miss My-Body-My-Life - Or you’re wanting me to hold you and baby you - which, F-Y-I I’ve been ordered to do by Dr. Evans herself..._AND_ I don’t mind doing at all. I would rather be holding you and pampering you if you’d let me.”

“Oliver,” Felicity looked at him with a serious yet apologetic gaze, “I want you here. I _want _you to baby me and pamper me and _love _me,” she pressed her lips together. “But I know you do have other things to think about. You've barely told me why you left Spain early. And did you say something about Dali staying with Moira? Dal’s in Vancouver?” she asked with a touch of excitement.

He sighed. He didn’t want to throw his marital relations into the mix of things. However, it was one reason he was able to be here right now and he truly didn’t want to be anywhere else. He didn’t want to cloud Felicity’s situation with his own. But Oliver realized yet again that both of their quandaries affected each other.

As she asked her question, Oliver pulled back into a parking spot at the doctor’s office. He turned off the ignition and unlatched his seatbelt so he could turn toward Felicity. 

“Are you sure you want me to get into this now?” He wondered honestly and she nodded.

“Why don’t we go back to your place and discuss it there? We can have some dinner,” Oliver suggested.

“Oliver, it’s 3:00. Unless you’re a senior citizen, it’s too early for dinner. This may even be too early for them,” she rambled. “And, honestly, I don’t think you should come back to my place. We are already fueling Laurel’s flames as it is.”

Oliver closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “Laurel and I had a coming-to-Jesus chat about our marriage. She threatened to take Dali away from me; I threatened to bring a counselor to court who knows she gave up on our marriage years ago; she called me a bastard and I booked flights for me and Dali to come home.”

Felicity watched him purse his lips together as he spoke about his _wife_. Felicity had insisted he take some step in the crazy alternate universe of their relationship and apparently he had listened and acted.

“So what does that mean?” She wondered honestly.

“It means we left Laurel and Sara in Spain and came home. I honestly don’t know when they will be home. They could be home already...home, for her, for them, being in Los Angeles. Dali and I are staying with mom right now until I can get a handle on an apartment. I can’t get the lease on my house for another month, until show production revs up again,” he shared. 

“She’s not going to come after you for kidnapping Dali is she?” Felicity now looked concerned on a completely different level.

“She knows where we are. The minute Dal tells me she is ready to go back to L.A., I will take her there - or mom will - depending on what you need at that point. I’m not holding her hostage. I just didn’t want Laurel taking her God knows where and then holding that over my head. She would claim I abandoned them.”

“You’re sure?” Felicity questioned him. After Oliver nodded a slight smile formed on Felicity’s face. “So Dali is at Moira’s house?”

Oliver nodded, seeing a little bit of a gleam back in Felicity’s eyes.

“Yes, she’s at Mom’s house. Would you like to see her?”

Felicity nodded, but as she did her phone buzzed against her hip. It was the call they had been waiting for from the doctor’s office.

She looked up at Oliver after seeing the caller id on her screen. 

“Take it,” he insisted. “It’s just your mammogram appointment. I’m right here, okay?”

Felicity nodded again as she answered the phone. “This is Felicity Smoak. Yes Ma’am. Okay. And where do I go? Oh, in the same office building? Oh, oh, no, I see. I got it. Okay. No, no, that’s fine. I’ll be there. Thank you.”

She took a long breath and stared out the front window of her car. She noticed Oliver’s s.u.v. parked in the line of spaces in front of them.

“So?” He prodded gently.

“So, my mammogram is at 10:30AM Thursday. It’s in B-32 at Saint Elizabeth’s. That’s down in the basement in the radiology department.” She rubbed her fingers over her lips and then pressed her lips together. 

“What’s wrong?” Oliver asked, taking her hand into his once more and weaving their fingers together. 

“I thought it’d be next week, or a couple weeks down the road. I didn’t think they’d get me in that quickly,” she admitted.

“It’s not a routine checkup. They are gonna fast-track you. Dr. Evans mentioned that. To find out what this is and get treatments started, the tests and appointments are gonna happen quickly.”

Felicity nodded. She did recall the doctor mentioning that. “I should let mom know, and Ray. Oh, shit, I meant to call him earlier,” she realized.

“It’s alright,” Oliver continued his hand-holding-finger-massage and kissed the tips of her fingers. “I tossed him a text while we were at Donna’s just letting him know the exam was over and you were waiting on a mammography appointment.”

“You text with Ray...this is becoming a bad habit between you two,” Felicity commented with a quirky smile.

“Only about you,” Oliver grinned. “Not like we are making dates…”

“Unless it’s with me!” she tried to sound sarcastic.

“Like I was saying, we aren’t making dates...unless they involve you,” he said pointedly.

“So, with that in mind, why don’t you let me take you home, fix you dinner _when_ it’s dinner time, and you can just relax. You can call Ray and your mom and we’ll just chill for a while.”

Felicity thought about his offer. It sounded heavenly. But the ever-present thought of Laurel’s threats still hung in the back of her mind. “Why don’t you just head back to your mom’s. Get some quality Dallas time. And I’ll head home and just veg.” She looked at their linked fingers which let Oliver know she wasn’t giving him an answer of what she truly wanted.

“Is that really what you want?” he wondered.

“No,” Felicity admitted with a look back into his face...the signal that now she was being truthful. “But it’s what’s best right now,” she gave him a slow wink. “I’m okay,” she took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Maybe I’ll see you tomorrow? If not, I’ll see you Thursday, right?”

Oliver thought for a second about what she was saying. This time he would accept it...sort of. “Alright, for now. But you call me if you get upset or just don’t want to be by yourself.”

Felicity nodded her agreement, smiled gratefully and leaned her head towards him for a kiss that could’ve led to something more were they not parked in a medical parking lot in the middle of the afternoon.

\-----

Felicity wasn’t at all surprised when her phone rang an hour later. She and her dog child had curled up on the couch and found a horror flick on Netflix to keep her entertained and her mind off of everything else for just a little while.

“Yes, Dear?” she had to smile knowing he wasn’t going to let her go even an hour without checking on her.

“_Lis-ty_?” a little voice sounded from the other side of the line unexpectedly.

“Dali?” Felicity scooted away from Ozzie slightly and hit ‘pause’ on her movie.

“_Daddy says you’re back in Vancouver like me!_” Oliver’s daughter sounded all too excited to talk to her adopted aunt.

“A little llama told me you were here too!” Felicity smiled and then thought carefully about where she had...housed...Dallas’s favorite stuffed animal.

“_How did Ollie know I was here?_” Dali wondered

“Oh you know he’s got that connection with you Dals. He knew you were in Spain. He missed you in London and believe me I heard about that for days! He told me you were at your Gram’s house. Is that right?” Felicity asked.

_“Ollie didn’t tell you that,” _Dallas countered, _“Daddy told you that when he saw you today. How come I couldn’t see you today?” _she wondered with the six-year-old curiosity.

Felicity decided not to try and explain that reasoning. Not now. “We’re gonna have to fix that, aren’t we?”

_“Uh huh,”_ Dali answered. _“I wanna come see Ollie and Ozzie,” _she requested in her own little way.

Felicity thought for a second and put a hand on the creature beside her. Ozzie was always worn out after a visit from Dali. Neither of them were up for a visit today, but Felicity was quick to admit, she wanted to see the little girl for a dose of her spunk and energy.

“How about tomorrow Dals? Ozzie and I are both a little tired today. But let’s get together tomorrow. And, I tell you what, when you come over, Ollie says he wants to spend a couple of nights with you to catch up on all of your adventures. Would you like that?”

_“Could I?” _Dali’s little voice sounded truly excited. 

“Yeah,” Felicity smiled, happy to know she could have a positive effect on the little munchkin. “Let me talk to your Dad a second, please?” she waited and heard Dallas passing the phone to Oliver.

_“Bye Lis-ty!” _Felicity could hear her little voice a bit farther from the phone now. _“I’ll see you and Ollie and Ozzie tomorrow. Love you!”_

“Love you, too!” Felicity called out and then had to wait another split second as Oliver relayed the message.

_“You sure you’re up for high-energy-high-maintenance?” _Oliver wondered.

“I’d like to spend a little time with her. Probably shouldn’t, all things considered, but I’d like to,” Felicity admitted easily. “I think I need a dose of Dali,” she chuckled lightly.

_“If you’re sure, we’ll make it happen,” _Oliver offered.

“I promised her already. Ozzie and I will try to get to bed early tonight,” she suggested.

_“I can still come help you with that if you need me too. The dinner offer is still open…”_

“If you’re here I won’t get to sleep early. I’ll be up half the night…” she claimed, with thoughts of how she liked to spend her nights with Oliver. 

She settled back into her spot next to Ozzie and began petting her baby between the ears. She took an extra second reminding herself that it wasn’t _all_ about sex with Oliver, but the fact that they desired each other and were no longer spending long days on the set together…

Felicity took in a quick, deep breath of air that Oliver could hear over the airwaves.

_“Are you okay?” _He asked sincerely.

“You know I want you here, don’t you?” Felicity swallowed as she admitted her need for him.

_“Then I’ll come over,” _Oliver stated without questioning anything.

“No, that’s not what I meant,” Felicity spoke softly. “I still don’t want to jeopardize anything for you and Dali. I know that’s silly with me inviting her over here tomorrow and everything...but that’s different from you spending the night here, right? And, I do still need to know that I can handle some of this on my own. You know I need you and I want you but I still need to know that at least for now, I’m okay on my own.”

Oliver nodded and sighed against the phone. _“You will never be incapable of being your own woman, Lici. Don’t you ever doubt it. No matter what happens in your future, in our future, you are a strong, badass woman and that is not going to change. It’s one of the million reasons I love you.”_

Felicity smiled and blushed slightly as she listened to his words. “You really think so?”

_“Well yeah,” _Oliver answered as though the thoughts were more than obvious. _“I just need to help you learn that needing help...ASKING for help...it doesn’t make you dependent on me or anyone. But it means that you can rely on me...that you trust me. Lis, if you love me you’ll accept my help and even ask for it when you need it. It’s not a weakness, okay?”_

Felicity again thought about his words and they made sense. She was beginning to learn this lesson from both Oliver and Ray. She also realized both men loved her in quite different ways. But both wanted her to trust them and rely on them. 

“I do love you,” she spoke with a bit of confidence. “But tonight, Oz and I are gonna finish this horror flick - which is truly horrible - and we are going to enjoy _something_ for dinner…”

_“Sushi, egg rolls and white rice will be there around 7:30 if you can hold out that long. You can ignore the carton of Kung Pao Chicken. Put it in the fridge. I’ll get it tomorrow,” _Oliver informed her.

“Oliver! When did you order...why did you order for both of us?”

He shrugged his shoulders and sighed again. _“I was hoping you’d take me up on the offer to fix you dinner,” _he smiled to himself, _“but since you want to continue being Miss Independent for now, I guess I’ll just get mine tomorrow.”_

Felicity laughed. “You talking about food or otherwise? Cause if you’re thinking about gettin’ something else please don’t forget that there will be a dog and a six-year-old to contend with.”

_“You mean the six-year-old who is staring at me right now with two Barbie dolls in her hands?” _Oliver looked at his daughter and raised his eyebrows.

_“Can I talk to Lis-ty again, please?” _Felicity heard the little voice and smiled a little wider.

_“Lis-ty, should I bring Ken and Barbie to play with tomorrow? Is Ray gonna be there or is it just gonna be me and you and Ozzie?”_

Felicity grinned at Dali’s barrage of questions although she wondered why Ray’s name was suddenly in the mix. “What about your dad?”

_“No, I think it just needs to be me and you for a while. We need some girl time,” _Dali informed her, bringing a little chuckle from Felicity’s heart.

“Well okay then. Me, you and Ozzie it is. Bring Ken and Barbie and lots of clothes to change cause they’ll probably be doing a lot of different stuff. Do we need to have some girl talk? Is that okay with Daddy and Grams?” Felicity wondered, trying to get a feel for Dali’s imagination.

_“I just have some stuff I need to talk to you about,” _Felicity could tell Dali was whispering into the phone which made her even more curious.

“What kind of stuff, Dals?” she dared to ask.

_“I can’t say right now because Dad’s right here. I’ll just talk to you tomorrow,” _Dali again whispered.

Felicity found herself nodding with a little uncertainty but she as well began to whisper. “Okay, Dali. We’ll talk tomorrow. Love you!”  
  
Dali smiled as she looked at her father, _“Love you, too, Aunt Lis-ty.” _And with that she handed the phone back to Oliver.

_“I guess I’d better go,” _Oliver admitted hesitantly.

Felicity rolled her eyes. “I’ll see you tomorrow. What time do you want to bring Dali by? Apparently she and I have some serious stuff to discuss.”

Oliver grinned and shook his head. _“I have no idea what goes through her mind sometimes.”_

“And that is one of the million reasons I love _her_!” Felicity quickly noted.

_“We’ll see you around what, 9:30 or 10 in the morning? Is that too early?” _

“Nope, that’ll be perfect. Bring brunch? All I’ve got are Cheerios and almond milk,” Felicity informed him.

_“Good,” _Oliver deadpanned. _“I see why you really need me. You need groceries.”_

“And someone to cook for me!” Felicity grinned, nibbled on her bottom lip and felt a familiar warmth run through her when he laughed gently.

_“Love you, Lici.”_

“Love you, too.” Once again, as she ended the call, she knew in her heart, she meant it.

* * *

**What If – Chapter 14**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading. I would love to hear from you in the form of kudos or reviews. This story took a while to put together. I really enjoy hearing from readers to let me know what you think about it!  
(BTW, we are halfway through this one now!)
> 
> And, if you like this one but haven't checked out the other Curved Reality stories, please take a peek - I think you'll enjoy them!
> 
> Curved Reality: What If - Chapter 15 Tease:  
Oliver looked at Felicity and then back at Dali. “No, Dals, we aren’t keeping secrets. You can tell Mom that I hug and kiss and cuddle with Felicity. She already knows that. I’m not gonna hide that from her.”
> 
> Felicity smiled as he expressed his feelings. And when Dali saw Felicity smiling, she again matched her expression. “I like it when you guys cuddle cause it makes you happy.”


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Girl talk - 6 year old style... and a feeling of family to strengthen bonds that just won't break.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A day with Dali is SO much more than just a day at the park! Felicity thought she knew what she was in for...but you just never know what's going on in a child's mind. ;)
> 
> Now, off to Felicity's apartment...still somewhere in Vancouver.

**Curved Reality:**

**What If – Chapter 15**

* * *

Dali sat on the floor in Felicity’s living room playing with the Barbie dolls she had brought. Felicity was fixing mac and cheese for lunch so Dali was entertaining herself until her adult cohort came back from kitchen duties.

Ozzie had found her spot on the couch. The walk to the dog park down the street mixed with playing a game of fetch with Dali had worn her out. But, Felicity easily admitted, her dog-child enjoyed having the human child around. And, Felicity had enjoyed watching the two play together.

_Oliver had brought omelet fixings when he and Dali came to Felicity’s apartment at 9:15 that morning. Felicity had been waiting for them since 8:30, anxious to see Dali and quite hopeful that Oliver would bring real breakfast foods. Obviously he didn’t disappoint._

_As Felicity and Dali went into hugs and catch-up mode he watched with a few tears in his eyes and then quickly took the grocery bags to the kitchen and went to work. He smiled to himself remembering where Felicity’s skillet was, in the back of the drawer under her oven because it didn’t see much use at all on a regular basis._

_He was also happy he brought cooking spray, a half gallon of skim milk and fresh veggies. As suspected, Felicity had yet to make a real grocery run. So aside from the almond milk in her fridge there were apples, carrots, ranch dip, turkey breast and swiss cheese...and a case of diet Coke, a 2 liter bottle of ginger ale, a six pack of wine coolers and a couple of beers._

_Oliver shook his head. She had already reverted to her self-reliant days with just enough to get by, for herself._

_He tried to stick around with them, eating breakfast with them, laughing and enjoying the time, then he cleaned up the kitchen and offered to do a full grocery run for Felicity. Finally, after a full hour of making excuses, Dali told him flat out to leave because she needed time with her aunt._

_And, with a tilt of her head and a nod from Felicity, he had complied. He was going to look at a couple of apartments not far from Felicity’s. The girls told him they would call him when he could come back to get Dali. With a pout, he left._

_Felicity and Dali had spent the next hour playing with Ollie Llama and looking through pictures from Portugal on Felicity’s phone. Dallas had curled right against Felicity’s right side and leaned her head against Felicity’s shoulder and chest as they scrolled through the pictures._

_At first Felicity had pressed her lips together, wondering if Dali could feel the lump in her breast. But she quickly put that thought behind her as Dal ‘oo’d’ and ‘aww’d’ at the pictures of the natural mountainous beauty and some of the wildlife they encountered._

_A picture of a rather large snake made Dali hide her eyes directly against Felicity’s breast but instead of cringing, or pushing the little girl away, Felicity embraced her, squeezed her and laughed. She truly loved the feeling of the little girl resting against her side._

_The walk to the dog park included a stop at a coffee shop for Felicity to grab her second cup of the morning. Dali ended up with some kind of decaf concoction that included vanilla, caramel and whipped cream. Ozzie enjoyed the whipped cream - much to Dal’s delight._

So now here they were, back at the apartment, getting ready for lunch at 1:30 in the afternoon. While the pasta was cooking Felicity rested her elbows on the island between her kitchen and living room. She watched Dali change clothes on the dolls a couple of times and then her eyes widened a bit when Dal pulled a tiny wedding gown and tuxedo out of the little box in her toy bag.

“Wow, Dals!” Felicity exclaimed, “Where’d you get that? Is that a wedding dress?”

Dallas looked at her and smiled. “Uh-huh, Grams and I went shopping and found it. I asked her if I could buy it with money Daddy gave me.”

“That’s really pretty. And Ken’s got a tuxedo with a bow tie that matches?” Felicity was impressed.

“Grams helped me find that and she bought it. She said a bride needs a groom? Is that what the boy is called when they get married?” She wondered with a little dip of her curious eyebrows.

“Uh-huh,” Felicity supplied with a nod of her head.

“So, when you and Ray got married he was the groom?” Dali asked with her voice getting a little softer.

“What?” Felicity asked slowly and stood up a little straighter.

“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about, Lis-ty,” Dali informer her. “Did you wear a dress like this when you got married to Ray?” Dali looked up at her completely innocently as she asked this random question. 

Felicity felt a pull in the pit of her stomach as she and Oliver’s daughter looked at each other. “Ray and I aren’t married, Sweetheart. Why would you think that?”

Dali tilted her head and looked more seriously at Felicity. “You had a room together in London while we were there. And you went to Portugal,” she stumbled slightly over the country name, “for your honeymoon. Why isn’t he staying here with you?”

Felicity quickly looked back at the timer on the stove and turned the burner down a notch before heading around the counter and sitting down in the floor with Dali.

“Ray and I are just friends, Dal. When I left the show, after you sang to me and we wrapped up the season, I needed to get away for a while. Ray didn’t want me to go by myself, so he came with me. Sometimes we had a room together, sometimes we didn’t. But we are just friends.”

Felicity reached out and ran a hand through Dali’s hair. “Did somebody tell you that we got married?” Felicity wondered.

Dali shook her head but looked back at the dolls she was still holding in her hands. “Daddy was upset that Ray was with you in London. Really upset. He and Mommy argued. She was happy you were with Ray but Daddy wasn’t,” the little girl explained, “at all.” 

“So I thought Daddy was upset because maybe you and Ray got married and you didn’t love Daddy anymore.”

Felicity crossed her legs on the floor and let Dallas’s words sink in. 

“The whole time we were in London you didn’t hug Daddy or kiss him like you usually do. If you aren’t married to Ray then why didn’t you do that?” Dali asked honestly.

Felicity moved her lips as her mind tried to think of an answer that was anything other than _Because of your mother_ but nothing else came to mind, so she was honest.

“Your mom doesn’t like it if I do that Dali,” she said simply and pursed her lips together.

“But you did it this morning. You and Daddy kissed like usual and he hugged you and kissed your cheek and stuff.”

“And,” Felicity took a deep breath, “that’s because your mom isn’t here with us right now. We probably shouldn’t have kissed and stuff. That needs to be kind of a secret because your mom wouldn’t like it at all.”

Dali shook her head. “No, she knows Daddy came home to see you. Mommy and Sara stayed in Spain but me and Daddy came home because he needed to see you. But you’re right. Mommy wasn’t happy about that.”

“So let’s just make this our secret play date, okay? Daddy, Grams, me and you know about it but that’s all, ok?”

“Ozzie knows and Ollie knows,” Dallas supplied.

“And so do Ken and Barbie here, so you better make them promise to keep our secret. Don’t worry about Ozzie, she’s not talking,” Felicity pointed to her dog and Ozzie just raised her head as if to ask “_What’d I do?”_

Felicity and Dali laughed at the dog’s reaction and then turned back to the dolls.

“So you do still love my dad?” Dallas asked and reached a hand over to hold Felicity’s.

Felicity took a deep breath, “More than he knows,” Felicity answered.

“And Ray?” Dallas just had to ask again to be sure. 

“He was not a groom.” Felicity stated plainly with a motherly look at the little girl. “He is not married to anyone right now, especially not me. He is one of my bestest friends and I love him. But...not like I love your Dad.”

Dallas handed Felicity the bride Barbie just as the timer began going off. “Good, cause I think Ray is cute. But I don’t want you to be married to him. Someday I wish you would marry my Dad.”

Felicity lay the doll on the floor and stood up just as Dali made her declaration. She had smiled a silly grin as Dal said Ray was cute. But she was glad her back was turned when Oliver’s daughter continued her thought.

A piece of her shared Dali’s wish. But all things considered, Felicity wasn’t sure if that wish could come true or not.

\-----

When Oliver arrived around 4:30 he had instructions to just come on in. A walk to the ice cream shop down the street after lunch and a round of ticklish wrestling with a stuffed llama had tuckered Dallas out. Felicity had texted him around four as Dali fell asleep in the recliner watching _Little Mermaid _with Ozzie by her side.

Felicity had laughed to herself. Oliver had called his daughter _high-energy-high-maintenance_. Felicity wouldn’t call her that. She saw this little girl as a simple, playful, _smart_ six year old. A very observant one. She sat down on her couch after putting a light blanket over Dali and just looked at her.

She had only had the opportunity a few times to really spend quality, alone time, with her. Today had been fun, eye-opening, informative and did she say fun? Felicity had loved it. She would put it on her list as one of the times when she considered motherhood and herself in the same thought. She blinked as she watched the bundle in the recliner breathing in and out serenely. 

Felicity tried to push the thought out of her head quickly. But it continued lolling around as her eyes also drifted closed from the day full of activities.

So when Oliver used his key, opened the apartment door and walked in, what he found was his two favorite girls - and Ozzie - sound asleep in their afternoon naps.

The dog perked up immediately but didn’t move as Oliver shushed her. Oz recognized him as a friend and simply watched as Oliver walked over to her and placed his large hand between her ears. “Did you have a good day O-z?” he scratched the top of her head and the dog just breathed out contentedly.

When Ozzie put her head back down on her paws, deciding he wasn’t offering her a reason to get up, Oliver looked at his daughter and smiled. If she was napping, the day must’ve gone well. And he wasn’t about to wake her up.

Then he turned his sight to the couch where Felicity had curled herself into a practical ball and was resting comfortably with her head on the armrest. He stepped toward her and knelt down before using the tip of his middle finger to outline her hairline, starting at her forehead and moving around her cheek, tucking a few strands behind her ear.

Felicity moved her head toward his touch and sighed. Oliver smiled. 

“Hey Sleeping Beauty, is this how you’ve kept up with Dals all day? Letting Ozzie be the babysitter?” He joked.

“Hmmm?” Felicity blinked a couple of times and then opened her eyes with his face coming into her direct focus. “When did you get here? What time is it?” She started to sit up but Oliver placed his hand on her shoulder.

“I told you she’d wear you out, didn’t I? It’s going on five o’clock. When did you two zonk out?”

Felicity shifted a little, stretching her legs out and just turning more toward Oliver to talk to him. She quickly decided if she didn’t need to get up, she wouldn’t.

“Must’ve been right after I texted you. She and Oz got up on the chair and got comfy. I tossed a blanket on Dals and Ozzie looked at me like I had interrupted some private moment between them so I decided to plop over here,” Felicity chuckled.

Oliver joined her quiet laugh. His hand had moved from her shoulder, to her bicep, down over her fingers and then had easily slid over onto her hip. His eyes were affixed on her sleepy face and how beautiful she is, inside and out.

“What?” Felicity wondered when he didn’t have another response to her joke.

“Do you know how wonderful you are?” Oliver felt his heartbeat speed up as he spoke. “You’re beautiful. You’re amazing. I have no idea what you and Dali have done today, but I know as soon as we walk out of here she’s going to be telling me what an awesome person you are. Thank you.”

Felicity was taken aback by his words. “I love her,” was the only way she could think to respond, plus a simple but completely heartfelt, “I love you.”

With that Oliver didn’t hesitate to move his lips to hers and pressed a soft, but insistent kiss on her mouth. 

Felicity responded with a hum, especially when his hand moved back to cup her cheek and hold them together. The warmth was enough to make Oliver slip off his shoes so he could find his way onto the couch with her.

Neither was quite sure how, but when their lips separated Felicity’s back was pressed up against the back of the couch sandwiched between the cushions and Oliver’s body which was stretched out against her.

“Did you want to nap, too?” She smiled and let her teeth graze her lower lip.

“No,” Oliver said simply as he continued teasing her lips with his. His hand had found its way back to her hip as the other slid under her shoulder and around her back.

Felicity didn’t try to stop him but did give a reminder. “Your daughter is asleep, like five feet away, if that much, you realize,” she whispered.

“I know,” Oliver answered before pressing another kiss to her lips and letting his tongue work to persuade her that he really didn’t care in that moment.

“Oliver,” Felicity tried to chastise him but could barely even say his name as his lips covered hers.

They both found themselves lost in the kiss. Hands didn’t wander too far, considering they were already smooshed together on her couch but neither minded because it meant their bodies were about as close as they could possibly be with their clothes still on.

Oliver’s hand did find its way under Felicity’s shirt and was working its way under her sports bra as she did her best to press her chest toward his touch. The heavy petting continued until a little giggle was heard, breaking their bubble.

“Daddy,” Dali laughed as she began climbing up on his hip which had somehow become draped over Felicity’s thigh.

Felicity and Oliver both immediately stopped kissing and their eyes shot open, looking first at each other and then toward the body-climbing child. Oliver tried to quickly withdraw his hand which made the elastic of the bra snap back against Felicity’s breast.

“Ouch!” Felicity let out but managed to hold in the expletive that almost accompanied it.

“Sorry! Sorry!” Oliver apologized and ran his palm gently over the side of her breast causing Dali to grab his arm.

“Daddy, Lis-ty says Mommy doesn’t like it when you do that,” She glanced at Felicity who closed her eyes and pressed her lips together. “But Mommy’s not here right now so I gotta keep this a secret,” Dali’s look matched Felicity’s as she sat atop both of their bodies.

Oliver looked at Felicity and then back at Dali. “No, Dals, we aren’t keeping secrets. You can tell Mom that I hug and kiss and cuddle with Felicity. She already knows that. I’m not gonna hide that from her.”

Felicity smiled as he expressed his feelings. And when Dali saw Felicity smiling, she again matched her expression. “I like it when you guys cuddle cause it makes you happy.”

Felicity lifted her arm from her side and reached toward Dallas. “Then come down here and cuddle with us! I haven’t had Dali and Daddy snuggles in a really, really long time.”

All three of them laughed until tears as they somehow managed to get Oliver on the bottom of the pile, Dali straddling his stomach and Felicity laying on top of him on her side. 

“Pin him so I can tickle him!” Dali yelled, bringing a little yelp of a bark from Ozzie since they had disturbed her slumber.

“Wait,” Felicity’s mouth dropped open. “Dad’s ticklish?” She looked at Dali and back at Oliver. 

Oliver shook his head hoping she would believe this was just a game he played with Dali.

Instead, Dali’s little fingers immediately went for a spot on his neck, and Oliver snickered and cringed.

Felicity watched with a huge grin forming on her face until Oliver wrapped his arms around both of them. 

“Alright! Alright! This is me tapping out, Dals, you win!” Oliver conceded.

“Yes!” Dali pumped her little fist in the air signaling her victory. Felicity laughed until she could barely breathe.

Oliver was quick to sit up, even with Dali on his body and brought Felicity up with them. “Are you okay?” He asked with a slight bit of worry.

Felicity worked to take a deep breath and nodded. “I’m fine. You two are just...we’ve never done this before...the pile on and tickling and-”

“Snuggling!” Dali provided with a big smile.

“Snuggling,” Felicity nodded as she stared at Oliver.

“So you two have had a good day, I take it?” He smiled at her, winked and looked back at his daughter.

“Yep!” Dali declared.

“Did you get to talk to Aunt Felicity about… whatever it was you needed to talk about?” Oliver wondered.

Dali nodded strongly. She crawled further up her father until she could whisper in his ear. “She didn’t marry Ray so you don’t hafta be mad at him. She still loves you, a lot.”

Oliver pulled away and looked at his daughter and then back at Felicity. “Who said she married Ray?” His eyebrows dipped as he questioned both females, showing his complete confusion.

Dali put her hands on Oliver’s cheeks, directing his attention toward her. “It doesn’t matter now. ‘Specially if you guys are kissing and snuggling. I don’t want you to be mad at Lis-ty or Ray.”

Oliver nodded slowly but still moved his eyes toward Felicity with questions.

“We’ll talk about it later,” Felicity assured him and Oliver simply shook his head.

“Alright,” he accepted her answer more than Dali’s. “Are you two hungry? I brought spaghetti.”

Felicity and Dali looked at each other, licked their lips and nodded hungrily. Dear old dad had come through for them, yet again.

\-----

Oliver and Dali stuck around two more hours after dinner. But when Dali started to yawn, the adults knew it was time to get her back to Gram’s house.

“Tell ya what,” Oliver offered as they watched Dali rub her eyes and yawn yet again. “I’ll take her back to Mom’s and then come back over. That way we can just go to your appointment tomorrow together.”

Felicity shook her head. “I don’t need a babysitter. Ozzie’s here with me. I’m fine.”

Oliver shot her a look, “I wasn’t planning on babysitting you…”

“Stop,” Felicity mouthed to him pointedly.

“What kinda 'pointment?” Dali asked

“Nothing, Sweet Pea,” Oliver tried to brush her off but Felicity shook her head at him.

“It’s just a doctor’s appointment Dali. I have to get some pictures taken of my...muscles, in here…” Felicity rubbed her hand across her chest.

“Kk,” Dali accepted. “Can I go with you, too?” She wondered.

Felicity shook her head and smiled. “No,” she tried simply. “There’s not a lot of room and no toys in the waiting room. You’d get bored. You stay home with Grams and Dad will be home right after my appointment, okay?”

Dali nodded. “And you? You’ll come to Grams house too?”

Felicity nodded with one little caveat. “Unless it makes me tired. But I’ll let you know, alright?”

Dali nodded. “Okay, I guess.”

“So I’ll be back in an hour or so,” Oliver nodded, thinking Felicity would now give in to his offer to spend the night.

Felicity shook her head again. “I said, ‘no’,” she instructed him with a single look. “You all go back to Grams and sleep. I’ll see you at the office in the morning.”

“You sure?” Oliver still wasn’t ready to give up.

“I am. I promise I will call if I need you, okay. I won’t leave you in the dark.” Felicity accepted the warning look Oliver sent her way. Both knew they had come a long way over the past month. Neither wanted to go backwards now.

They spent the next 15 minutes gathering up Dali’s toys and trying to get the little girl out the door. 

“Bye Ozzie, I’ll come back to see you, maybe tomorrow. Love you Oz,” Dali kept trying to cling to the dog.

“Hey!” Felicity noted the weary look in her dog’s eyes. “Dals, Ollie wanted to spend some time with you. Why don’t you go get him off my bed and take him back to Grams with you, okay? His next adventure is a sleep over with Baby Dali!”

“Oh yeah!” Dali remembered Felicity offering to let the llama visit with her.

As Dali went to the bedroom, Oliver grabbed his daughter’s bag and did his best to corner Felicity at the door. “You’re sure I can’t come back?”

Felicity nodded with a sigh and yet tiptoed to kiss his lips. “It’s just better if you … if we don’t, right now.”

“You’re getting nervous about tomorrow. I could help,” Oliver practically insisted.

“You’re right,” Felicity admitted. “But I need to think about this a little on my own. It’s fine, really. I’m not freaking out. I just wanna think about things.”

Oliver sighed and nodded as Dali came back carrying the stuffed animal.

“Let’s roll, Munchkin,” Oliver opened the door and shooed Dali outside before leaving another kiss on Felicity’s mouth. “I love you,” he looked down into her eyes.

“I love you, too,” Felicity agreed just as Dali snuck her way between the two of them and wrapped her arms around Felicity’s waist.

“Thank you Lis-ty!” the little girl squeezed her. 

Felicity reached down and grunted a little as she picked Dali up. Oliver laughed that Dali appeared to be almost as big as Felicity. “You are welcome, and we have to do this again sometime!” she suggested.

Dali nodded, wriggled out of Felicity's grasp and took her dad by the hand. “I’m sleepy Daddy, let’s go,” Dali ordered.

Oliver looked into Felicity’s eyes and sighed once more before following Dali’s lead.

“I’ll see you at 10:30, right?” he asked.

Felicity nodded. “I’ll be there,” she leaned her head against the side of the door, puckered her lips and blew a kiss in his direction.

As much as she wanted to climb into bed, on this night in particular, with Oliver, she wanted to be able to face it on her own as well. 

With his support, her mom’s, Ray’s and now even Dali she knew she could do it.

She had to.

* * *

**What If – Chapter 15**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading. I really, really enjoy having Felicity, Oliver and Dali together. I think their relationship holds so many stories that you just can't put them all into words!
> 
> Thanks also for all your comments. I appreciate every one of them and I appreciate you sticking with this story as it moves along.
> 
> Chapter 16 Tease:  
“Daddy said I might need to llama-sit Ollie for a while cause you might have more doctor 'pointments. He said I may need to FaceTime you and tell you about my adventures with him. Why would I have to do that unless you are going away?” Dali lifted her head, put one little hand against Felicity’s cheek and looked at her.
> 
> Felicity was torn between tears from Dali’s words, slight anger at Oliver for even making the six year old think this way, and concern for him - knowing he was worrying about her and trying not to show it.
> 
> So she chose to laugh. It was just a slight smile and quiet chuckle, but Felicity made Dali sit up straighter in her lap and she put a hand on Oliver’s forearm. “What am I gonna do with the two of you?” she shook her head as she looked at them.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bad dream, a somewhat invasive test begins the diagnosis process, and worries begin to surface...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is relatively short but I hope it conveys the next step of our story.
> 
> Somewhere in the basement of a hospital in Vancouver...

** **

**Curved Reality:**

**What If – Chapter 16**

* * *

Felicity took a deep breath as she turned the knob of the door labeled “Mammography.” She had slept pretty well the night before, especially after Oliver had checked in with her twice more between the time he and Dali arrived home and the time when he just needed to say ‘goodnight’ to the woman he loved.

He was being over protective. She debated asking him to stop. But she loved it; she loved him; and right now she was following doctor’s orders and accepting the pampering.

This morning he had called once to make sure she was awake. She had fielded two other calls and wondered if this was what it was like to be a secretarial artist… Ray wanted to know if she needed someone to take her to the medical facility. Her mom had wondered the same thing but after Felicity declined, Donna had asked if she should meet Felicity at home after the test.

That part Felicity accepted. She wasn’t expecting anything over-the-top from this particular test. Like seeing the gynecologist, you endure this test and then wait for the followup. Perhaps her mother could help pass a couple of those waiting hours.

When she pushed the door open she immediately saw two random women, complete strangers, sitting in chairs. One was looking at her phone, the other was watching a little girl who was standing in front of a chair and playing with a stuffed...llama.

Felicity’s eyes quickly landed on Dali who looked to see who was coming in the door. Dali grabbed the llama and ran to Felicity before Oliver could get his hands on her.

“What are you doing here Little Llama?” Felicity didn’t hesitate to pick her up.

“I had a bad dream last night. I needed to come with Daddy today,” she explained with a quiet little voice. 

Felicity moved quickly to Oliver who was sitting in a chair. He offered her an almost sad smile - or was that apologetic… Either way Felicity knew it had to do with Dali’s presence in the waiting room.

“She had a nightmare?” Felicity sat down with Dali in her lap and looked at Oliver. 

Oliver nodded toward the window where a receptionist was sitting. “Go check in. Make sure everything is in order then we’ll talk if we have a minute or two.”

Felicity nodded at him, told Dali to keep her seat warm and took her identification and insurance to the window. She was back in a matter of seconds and let Dali climb right back into her lap.

“What’s up Sweet Pea?” Felicity looked at Dali and then at Oliver who shrugged his shoulders.

“She won’t tell me,” he frowned slightly. “She’s just been hanging onto Ollie all morning and said she needed to talk to you.”

“Dals, what’s wrong?” Felicity bent her head to look at Dallas’s face.

“I dreamed that you gave me Ollie because you were going away from us and not coming back,” Dali put into simple words.

“Well that’s not a nightmare, is it?” Felicity tried to chuckle. “I mean you get your stuffed animal back and don’t have to share him with me? That’s not a bad dream.”

“It is if I don’t get to see you again,” Dali looked at her seriously. “I dreamed you came to this appoin-ment,” she skipped some sounds trying to simply say the word, “and then Daddy came back to Grams house and said you were going away.”

Felicity watched as the little girl thought about the dream that had certainly left a bad impression on her. Dali’s little eyes began to fill with tears and her lower lip quivered, “And all I had from you was Ollie.”

Oliver pressed his lips together as he listened to the explanation. He wasn’t sure if Dali might be foreseeing something about Felicity’s medical situation, or if this was just something random that was playing with his daughter’s mind.

Felicity wrapped her arms around Dali and felt a couple of tears soak through the thin t-shirt she was wearing as Dali laid her head on Felicity’s shoulder.

“Hey now,” she shushed Dali gently, kissed her forehead which was all her lips could reach and hugged her a little tighter. “I’m not going anywhere.” Felicity stopped with that as she again looked at Oliver. She thought momentarily about her words. She didn’t want to lie to Dali, not even unintentionally.

“You’re being awfully quiet,” she met Oliver’s eyes wondering what was going through his head. “What did you tell her on the way home last night?”

Oliver pressed his lips together, thinking but not wanting to share.

“Dali, did you and Dad talk about my appointment on your way home last night?” Felicity asked just loud enough for both the little girl and her father to hear.

Dali nodded against Felicity’s neck.

“What did he say?” Felicity continued, now a little scared to know what had gone through Oliver’s mind.

“He said I might need to llama-sit Ollie for a while cause you might have more doctor appointments. He said I may need to FaceTime _you_ and tell _you_ about my adventures with him. Why would I have to do that unless you are going away?” Dali lifted her head, put one little hand against Felicity’s cheek and looked at her.

Felicity was torn between tears from Dali’s words, slight anger at Oliver for even making the six year old think this way, and concern for him - knowing he was worrying about her and trying not to show it.

So she chose to laugh. It was just a slight smile and quiet chuckle, but Felicity made Dali sit up straighter in her lap and she put a hand on Oliver’s forearm. “What am I gonna do with the two of you?” she shook her head as she looked at him.

“Come here,” she quirked her index finger at Oliver, beckoning him to lean toward her. She gave him a kiss on his cheek, pressing her lips against his scruff and holding it there for a few seconds. Felicity pulled away and wiped her fingertips over the spot she had just kissed. Then she turned to Dali, held her little chin with her thumb and index finger, and kissed her cheek as well in the same fashion.

As she thought about what she wanted or needed to say to them, the door opened and her name was called to go back for her test. She pointed a finger in the air after the nurse called for her, indicating she needed just a few extra seconds.

“I’m going back here. They are going to take pictures of my...breasts,” she opted to use the word to stay as truthful as she could to Dali. “Then I’m going to come back out here and get the two of you and we’re going back to my apartment.” She breathed in deeply and let it out slowly.

“Dallas,” she used the girl’s full name, “Today, at least, I’m not going anywhere. When we get home, we will talk about this more. For right now, I _do_ need you to hang onto Ollie because I don’t think he’s allowed to be back here while they take the pictures, alright? We will talk about our Ollie Llama custody conundrum later. Do you understand?”

Dali nodded slowly and Felicity nodded along with her. 

“Good, now climb into Dad’s lap and wait for me here. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

As Dali moved into Oliver’s lap Felicity looked at him with her wifely sort of gaze. “We will talk about our conundrum later as well. Understood?”

Oliver nodded at her and smiled. “I love you.”

Felicity took another deep breath. “Mmm-hmm,” she turned toward the nurse who was still waiting at the door and began walking toward her.

Dali and Oliver watched Felicity disappear behind the door and Dali looked at her father’s worried gaze. “Daddy? What’s a con-drum and why does Lis-ty wanna talk about them?”

\-----

“Is your daughter having a rough time understanding what’s happening?” the nurse wondered.

Felicity opened her mouth to correct the woman and then decided against it. “Yes,” she sighed. “And Daddy’s help isn’t helping, apparently.”

The nurse smiled at her as she directed Felicity into a changing room. “Husbands try to understand and try to be supportive but they struggle, too. Remind him not to think too far down the road - I mean, diagnosis wise… I mean that in a good sense. He’s looked at the brochures that Dr. Evans provided, right? You have to take this one step at a time. He can’t get lost in the ‘what if’s’ at this stage. There are a lot of positive outcomes. That’s what you’ve gotta focus on.”

Felicity nodded, appreciating her positivity. “Do you mind telling him that? He might just listen to you.” The women shared a laugh.

The nurse continued with instructions about the top Felicity needed to don. _Ah yes_, Felicity thought as she looked at the hospital gown’ish type garment, again. Open in the front, tie on the side...she had a feeling she was going to get sick of this routine.

“Got it,” she shared with the nurse.

She was left to change and thought again about Dali’s concerns, Oliver’s concerned face and those ‘what if’s’. Her mind had gone to the worst, of course. She wondered if Oliver had as well...and if he had, what were his thoughts? He had said, over and over again that he wouldn’t lose her...he didn’t want to lose her. Apparently he had still thought about that. In fact it seemed he had thought about it enough that he tried to convey something to Dali.

Unfortunately, sharing with his young daughter had backfired on him. Now Felicity was left to console them both.

_“I’m gonna kill him,”_ she thought again as she tied the top tightly. She was trying really hard to keep this situation out of Dali’s mind. She truly didn’t know how to explain it to her and the fact was, it was probably best for Dali to be completely in the dark about this. What six-year-old needed to know that their father’s friend...mistress...lover..._whatever…_ might be facing breast cancer?

_Ugh_, Felicity sighed. That would open up a whole other can of worms and she didn’t like fishing, or biology enough to be bothered with those slimy creatures.

On the bright side, that time in the waiting room probably passed faster than any other in history. Dali’s nightmare gave Felicity a new focus, new purpose, at least for those few minutes. And here she was thinking more about Oliver’s mindset and fatherly actions than about the idea of her breasts being squeezed beyond recognition…

_Okay, maybe I won’t KILL him… I’ll just tie him up and torture him… There’s a thought… Oliver tied up...or maybe chained…_ she found herself fantasizing and even let a hum escape her throat and lips. _Oliver in chains…_

She jumped when the technician knocked on the door and then opened it to check on her. Felicity laughed to herself. Was it suddenly hot in this room, or were her distracting thoughts of the man she loved causing the issues?

She smiled as the lady invited her to come on back for her tests. _Damn him… Now killing him is completely out of the question...again._

“Ms. Smoak?” this new lady called her out of her thoughts. “Can you show me where you feel the lump?” She was asking. “I just need to put a little marker in the area for the radiologist who reads this.”

As Felicity undid the bows she had tied on her top and began pointing to the area in question the tech kept talking. “Dr. Evans’ notes say nothing else was found in the exam that she performed, but she does want us to image both breasts, to make sure nothing is missed. 

“So you’re going to squish both of my babies?” Felicity tried to joke and the technician smiled. 

“I’m afraid so. I will try to be gentle but understand that the test works better the deeper we can see into the tissue. That requires some discomfort…”

“And complete invasion of my chest space,” Felicity added. 

“Are you ready?” The kind lady wondered as she helped Felicity step up to the imaging device.

Felicity took a nervous breath and thought about Oliver and Dali sitting in the waiting room. “Let’s do this.”

* * *

**What If – Chapter 16**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading! Reminder, my medical terminology and descriptions are not a first hand account. Don't be afraid to correct me if I'm off.
> 
> And please don't hesitate to comment. I love hearing from you and reading your thoughts and ideas.
> 
> Thank You!
> 
> Chapter 17 Tease:  
"I need to look beyond the medical mess and see that I have a place to be and work to do when I come through this thing. On the other side of tests and surgery and God forbid anything worse, I need to know that I can go on. That’s what New York and the play represent.”
> 
> Both of them looked at each other realizing, momentarily, that she wasn’t mentioning him in her ‘going on’ plans.
> 
> “And,” she breathed deeply and squeezed his hands. “If somewhere along the way your life becomes just you and Dali, then maybe I can come back and be a part of it.”


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Coming to terms with the present... As Felicity and Oliver begin to face the current situations affecting their lives what can they do to move toward the future. In all the confusion, can they begin to make sense of things?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes you need to focus on something that you *think* is in your control in order to get through some things that are completely out of your control. That's the only way I could imagine Felicity focusing on New York. The medical situation and Oliver's marriage certainly aren't in her control and yet to keep her strength and sanity, she has New York.
> 
> That's what I was thinking as they left the doctor's office and headed back to Felicity's apartment, somewhere in Vancouver...

** **

**Curved Reality:**

**What If – Chapter 17**

* * *

When Felicity arrived back at her apartment complex there were two familiar vehicles parked in front of her building and the one hauling Oliver and Dali that was pulling in behind her. She sighed.

This was supposed to be just another day, just another appointment, just another step in building up to whatever her diagnosis might be. She had wanted to come home, have some lunch with her mom and just play catch up for a little while. Instead her mother, Oliver's mother and her own little makeshift 'family' was here.

She had wanted to make a couple of calls to Patrick and Leslie about the New York plans and what kind of hitch Felicity’s medical complications were causing. She wanted to talk about the play, she wanted to discuss future projects and she wanted to not think about her bruised breasts and how invasive a non-invasive mammogram actually is.

Instead, as much as she loved them both, she had a little girl who was scared and unsure of what was happening and a man who was trying to handle that little girl and the fact that he was unsure and scared and didn’t have a way to fix any of it.

Felicity could relate to Oliver’s feelings. Not to mention adding another layer of stress to that because it was _her own body_ in question.

She pulled into her assigned parking spot. Oliver illegally parked in a spot behind her knowing the neighbor was at work for at least a few hours. He turned around and looked at Dali who had been quiet on the ride to Felicity’s. Something about that, in itself made Oliver nervous.

He turned to look at his daughter in the back seat and squinted his eyes. She was still hanging onto the stuffed animal and looked back at her father with just a few blinks.

“You okay, Dallas? What’s goin’ on in your brain?” He finally asked.

Dali shrugged her shoulders.

“Come on Dals, talk to me, please. Before we get out of the car tell me what you’re thinking about. Grams and Mrs. Donna are both here at Felicity’s. Felicity is gettin’ out of her car right now and she’s probably gonna come over here and sit for a few minutes too, before we go inside,” Oliver tried to explain.

“Is Lis-ty sick?” Dali finally asked.

Oliver hesitated as he saw Felicity climb out of her car. She did exactly as he expected, coming back to his vehicle and sliding into the front passenger seat.

“What are we talking about?” she breathed out, trying to appear calm as she looked at Oliver and Dali, neither of whom was smiling.

“Dali wants to know if you are sick?” Oliver asked simply, quietly, purposefully locking his eyes with Felicity’s.

After another moment Felicity looked back at Dali. “Is that what you asked Dad?”

Dali nodded but then she added. “Cause I go to the doctor when I’m sick. But I go for checkups, too.”

Felicity smiled softly at her. “I was thinking about this on the way back here,” she looked between Oliver and Dali and then focused her eyes on Oliver. “My appointment today and the next one in a couple of days, and the ones after that...are visits so I can find out if I’m sick or not. There is something inside of me, inside of my...breast…” she again used the word to be truthful with Dali, Oliver and herself, “that shouldn’t be there. That’s what all of this is about Dal. The doctors I’m talking to and the appointments that your dad is going to, with me, are to find out what this thing is and how to get it out of me. I’m not sick, yet, and I hope I don’t get sick. But if I do then we will deal with that when it happens.”

She reached a hand out to Oliver’s face, placed it on his cheek and let him rest his head against her hand as he closed his eyes. “I don’t have any answers yet. The lady who did my test today? She said there are a LOT of positive possibilities. We can’t think the worst, not yet, okay?” She spoke directly to Oliver even with Dallas listening. “I need you to be positive with me and for me. I know where your mind is going, Oliver...I know. I can’t let you think like that, not right now because I need you to help me stay positive, okay? You help me and I’ll help you. We just have to think about those good outcomes.”

Felicity looked back at Dallas after Oliver opened his eyes and nodded at her. Dali sat there just watching them and thinking.

“Dali, the dream that you had about me going away… I’m not gonna go anywhere until the doctors say I can. But when they do, I will be going to New York. That’s where I’m supposed to be working this summer and the sooner I can get there, is better.” Felicity glanced back at Oliver who closed his eyes, tilted his head and was obviously pretending he didn’t hear what she just said.

“Dal,” Oliver cleared his throat and continued with a slight edge as Felicity's words soaked in, “I’m gonna call Mom and maybe have Grams take you home, okay?”

“No!” Dali whined.

“Dals, listen to me, I know you wanna be here but I… Felicity and I… we need to be able to concentrate on what the doctors are telling us, okay. We both love you, but it will just be a little easier for us to...concentrate...if you’re home with Mom.”  
  
“But I can stay with Grams. I can’t see Lis-ty if I’m in L.A.” Dali pouted.

Felicity was beginning to feel tired of the car conversation and really just wanted to go inside. “Why don’t you _both_ go back to L.A. and I’ll keep you-”

“No!” Oliver looked at her and barked rather loudly with a gaze boring right through her. “_That’s_ not an option.” He informed her with a softer voice and an empty stare.

Oliver pulled his phone from his pocket and then looked back at Felicity. “Dallas, go in with Felicity. See Grams and Mrs. Donna while I call your mom. Don’t argue about this.”

Dali and Felicity looked at each other with the understanding that Oliver had just laid down some law.

“Okay,” the little voice gave in.

Felicity climbed out of the car silently, went to the back door and opened it for Dali to get out. They held hands as they walked into the house.

Oliver watched them before tapping on the screen of his device. He knew this particular conversation was coming. As much as he didn’t want to send his daughter back to L.A. he needed to. He needed to focus on Felicity and this was the only way he knew how to do that.

\-----

_“Hello,” _Laurel’s voice answered with a slight edge.

“Laurel, are you and Sara back in L.A.?” Oliver asked simply.

_“Of course. Where are you?”_ his wife wondered.

“I’m in Vancouver. Right where I told you we would be. I need Dali to come be with you,” he decided to get to the point quickly.

_“Being full time daddy not suiting you?”_ Laurel answered.

“Look, I’m just going to say this flat out and I don’t need an argument and I don’t need attitude right now either,” Oliver sighed heavily. “Felicity is going through some medical stuff right now and I need to be here with her. It would be best if Dali was with you for the next few weeks at least...please,” he added.

_“Medical…”_ Laurel hesitated. _“Oliver is she pregnant?”_ Laurel’s voice was steely but not completely angry.

Oliver held his tongue and his anger in check. “No,” he stated without any further explanation because none was needed.

_“I hope it’s nothing serious,” _Laurel offered at least a tiny olive branch.

“Thank you,” Oliver said, again without additional details.

_“Do you want me to fly up to get Dali?”_ Laurel’s mind was going in 50 different directions and she wasn’t sure if she wanted to be helpful or hateful.

“Yes, please,” Oliver’s answer was succinct.

_“I’ll get a flight day after tomorrow. Maybe I’ll spend a couple of days with the Vancouver crew before bringing Dali back home. Can you find me a hotel room, possibly?”_

Oliver thought for just a moment as he listened to her. “I’ve got a furnished apartment lined up. I can move in anytime. Why don’t you plan to stay there. Dal can stay with Mom, or with you at the apartment. Stay as long as you want.”

_“You’ll be staying at Felicity’s I take it?”_ Laurel’s voice took a slight cold turn. 

“It depends on where she needs me. I’ll either stay at Mom’s or with her. I need to be able to focus… It’ll just be a little easier if you can take care of Dali.”

_“Oliver,” _Laurel’s voice turned to a quiet, concerned tone that Oliver hadn’t heard in a while. _“With whatever is going on… have you talked to your attorney about...about the separation?”_

He sucked in a breath, trying not to be angry and trying to realize she wasn’t yelling about this, she was asking, apparently. “No. But I need to. We aren’t fooling each other, Laurel. The argument we had before I left Spain said a whole lot about our lives and our marriage. I want out.”

He heard Laurel sigh. 

“So you’ll be here day after tomorrow? Dali will be happy to see you,” Oliver changed the subject.

_“How much time has Dal spent with her, Oliver?”_ Laurel wondered.

There was the tension Oliver had been expecting. He didn’t plan on answering her question, no matter how simple it might be. “Laurel, Dali will be at Mom’s house. Please let me know when you get in and when you plan to pick her up. If I can’t be there I expect you to leave my mother out of this. And you don’t interrogate Dali about Felicity, or my relationship with Felicity. Do you hear me?”

_“Text me the address of the apartment and either leave me a key or the passcode.”_

Oliver nodded. “I will.”

He realized as he ended the call just how civilized it was. Oliver closed his eyes and breathed in and out several times. He had no qualms about putting this part of his life on hold until Felicity had some answers. He knew she might not see it that way and Laurel certainly didn’t. But at least, for this moment, his _estranged _wife was being civil about the situation.

He finally got out of the car but leaned against it for just a minute as he let everything wash over him. Felicity...her health...her...work...in New York; Dali...a lot for a six-year-old to have on her mind; his marriage...Laurel...

_Where the hell do I fit in this mix and what am I supposed to do to fix any of it?_ Oliver wondered to himself. He thought about the situations running through his brain and realized the priorities were falling into place just as he had thought about them. 

Felicity was currently waiting for a phone call from Dr. Evans’s office. Now that he had handled somewhat long-range plans for Dali, he needed to get into Felicity’s home and be there for her, period, whether she wanted him there or not. 

\-----

Oliver walked into a scene that was a bit lighter on the inside of Felicity’s apartment. Donna and Dali were starting a movie in the living room while Felicity was sitting and chatting with Oliver’s mother in the kitchen. He immediately gravitated toward the kitchen.

“Can I borrow her for minute?” Oliver looked at his mom and put his hand on Felicity’s shoulder.

Moira looked at her son as he gave her a soft smile. She nodded and smiled back at him then looked at Felicity and placed a hand quickly over hers. “To be continued…” she squeezed Felicity’s hand lightly and started to get up from the table.

Oliver pushed the air with his hand, telling his mom to stay seated. Instead he took Felicity’s hand and gestured with his head toward the bedroom. She looked at him with slight worry and then got out of her chair and held his hand until they were safely in her room and Oliver closed the door behind them.

He breathed out, looked at her and smiled a sad kind of smile.

“Don’t start like that,” Felicity squeezed his hand and tugged on it until they were standing at the side of the bed.

“Can I just have a hug?” Oliver requested.

Felicity scrunched her eyebrows at him but didn’t hesitate at all to wrap her arms around his neck and tiptoed up to kiss his chin as he wrapped his arms around her body.

Oliver’s embrace was warm and comforting. Felicity loved being in his arms because he made her feel safe and loved. He, in turn, loved to let her hold him. He too felt loved when he felt her hands smoothing his hair and pulling him closer to her. To Oliver, being in Felicity’s arms felt right.

That’s what he needed to feel in this moment. He needed a reminder that he wasn’t doing something out of spite or without thinking clearly. It wasn’t just his heart speaking to him when he was with this woman, it was his mind, his body and his soul. Every part of him was drawn to her.

“What’s wrong?” Felicity pulled back just a little bit to look up into his face.

Oliver put his forehead against hers and laughed with just a couple of tears coming from his eyes. “Do I need to state the obvious?” he asked.

Felicity pulled his head downwards a bit more so she could reach his lips with hers and gave him a simple kiss, aiming to calm his nerves.

It worked slightly. 

“I think I do need you to state the obvious,” Felicity replied and tilted her head as their eyes met and she questioned him.

“How are you handling this so well?” Oliver asked sincerely.

Felicity gave a sarcastic laugh, “You think I’m handling this well? Hello… do you recall being in Portugal with me? And I know you were there in the exam room when Dr. Evans was poking at my boobs and all I wanted to do was sob. That was you, with me, right?”

Oliver nodded.

“Sit,” Felicity directed him to the bed and made him sit while she stood in front of him. “If I’m handling this at all, it’s because of you. Okay, you and Ray and Mom and Dali. You all are giving me all the strength that I have right now. And I guess, if one of you breaks down I try to take some of your own strength and give it back to you.”

“You know today, in the waiting room, when Dali was in my lap and crying? I laughed. I laughed because if I hadn’t, I was gonna lose it right there and I knew I just couldn’t do that in front of her. Not yet.”

Felicity crossed her arms across her chest and used her index finger to wipe tears from under her own eyes as Oliver also swiped at dampened eyelids.

“Then, realizing that you are taking this harder than what I thought… Oliver, that hit me like a ton of bricks when I went back for the mammogram and I was talking to the nurse. First she talked about my ‘daughter’ having a hard time and then she talked about husbands trying to be supportive and yet hurting so much and thinking the worst for their wives…”

“We’ve gotta keep thinking positively about this whole mess. I can only take things one day at a time, one appointment at a time because I can’t bear to think farther down the road. I have to think of New York and the play because those are part of my positives and my future…”

“How can you think about New York?" Oliver interrupted her monologue. "_What about us?_ How can you think about leaving me after all this? I’m talking about separating from my wife and making you and Dali my life but you’re still talking about New York. I don’t understand,” Oliver cried as he looked at her, more of the truth coming into the light.

“Beyond this chaos," Felicity attempted to begin an explanation, "I can’t let myself think about _us. _There are still too many...I- I just can’t, yet. New York is temporary, Oliver, but it’s a commitment I made long before this...this...lump came up. I love you and I need you. God, I need you with me right now and I am so grateful that you’re here. But if there is _any way_ that I can still get to New York and be in the play, I _need _to do it. _Us _depends on you and Laurel and Dali...that’s an equation you have to work out. It’s a situation that you have to work out with them. I told you in Portugal, I want you in my life. I want to be in your life. But I can’t put mine on hold waiting for you to get a divorce.”

“So where does that leave us?" Oliver shook his head. "Everything you just said...about _us..._ contradicts itself.”

Felicity sat down beside him on the bed and took his hands. She blinked her eyes and held them shut for a moment. When she opened them she lifted his hands to her lips and kissed them. “You’re right. My feelings right now are coming from polar opposites. I need you in this chaos. I need you to hold me and cry with me and tell me that you love me. I need that, even though you’re married. I admit it, I don’t even feel guilty about it. I want your hugs and your kisses and I want you to climb in bed with me and hold me through the night.”

She took a breath as Oliver supplied a simple, “But…”

“But in my attempts to stay positive, I need to look beyond the medical mess and see that I have a place to be and work to do when I come through this thing. On the other side of tests and surgery and God forbid anything worse, I need to know that I can go on. That’s what New York and the play represent.”

Both of them looked at each other realizing, momentarily, that she wasn’t mentioning him in her ‘going on’ plans.

“And,” she breathed deeply and squeezed his hands. “If somewhere along the way your life becomes just you and Dali, then maybe I can come back and be a part of it.”

“What if that happens before New York?” Oliver asked, not knowing if he was being realistic or not.

“Right now, my priority is getting this lump out of my body and recovering - with your help, Oliver, please. Please don’t leave me now. Please. I need you.” Her eyes reflected how much of her heart was in that request.

After a breath she looked away for a moment and then back into his eyes. “Do you know how much I would love to know that you and I could be together before I go to New York? But I cannot, I _will not_ put more pressure on you to end your marriage. I just can’t. You have my heart Oliver, and I truly believe that you love me but I never want you to say you divorced Laurel because I forced you. I can’t live with that.”

Felicity swallowed nervously while thinking of what to say next. “So, in the meantime, New York is something I need to do for me. It’s for me to continue my career, my work. It’s not about looking for someone else to fall in love with. I’m not putting myself out there for random dates. Hell, Ray and I have even cooled off. New York is my way of giving you the space, I think maybe you will need, to make _your_ decisions on your own...on your own terms.”

“However you need to handle things,” Felicity looked down at their hands that were certainly still connected, “a separation or divorce and Dali’s custody...that’s in your hands and I have to leave it there. I love you and I want you. But you have to make that decision.”

“So you are still going to New York, no matter what,” Oliver hadn’t been fond of her plan even when she had first announced it before their final scenes were shot.

Felicity nodded slowly. “Unless this,” she ran her hands over her chest, “takes it away from me. I don’t know if I’ll ever get this opportunity again. I want to take it if I possibly can.”

Oliver took a deep breath. “Okay,” he sat up a little straighter, moved a palm to her cheek and pulled her face toward his for a sweet kiss that simply conveyed their ‘I love you’s’. “Then we work toward getting you to New York,” he gave in, still somewhat heartbroken at the thought of her being thousands of miles away from him, again.

“Can I have a hug now?” Felicity requested after a few deep breaths and another round of tears shed as she tried to remember the conversation they had just shared.

Oliver easily wrapped his arms around her and held her close, his hands stroking through her hair while he placed kisses on the top of her head. “I’m sending Dali home with Mom tonight,” Oliver spoke while holding her close. “I need to crawl into bed with you and hold you like we did in Portugal.”

Felicity nodded her agreement. “Except…” she cringed as she pulled away from him slightly and looked face to face once more. “I knew I would just be waiting for Dr. Evans’s call so I asked Ray to come over so I can catch him up on...everything."

Oliver sighed. The look on his face certainly wasn’t the happiest.

“Do I need to remind you that there’s a good chance we wouldn’t be sitting here, together, on my bed if not for him…” Felicity gave him a pleading look. “And I’ve barely talked to him for an hour, on the phone, since we got back from Europe.”

Oliver sighed again, more heavily. “What time should I come back?”

“It’s kind of a sleepover,” Felicity’s apologetic face did nothing to Oliver’s fatherly pout.

“Maybe I’ll leave Dali with you. She thinks Ray is cute and wants more time with her Aunt Lis-ty,” Oliver suggested.

That earned him a wifely glare from the blonde that he loved. “You owe me for texting with him and conspiring against me in Portugal. If you leave Dali here I am not responsible for whatever Ray teaches her. And God knows what kind of games he might play with that poor llama…” she continued.

“Fine!” Oliver finally gave her the answer she was looking for. 

Felicity smiled like a school girl who finally had her parents’ permission to plan a party.

“I’m still going to call you and I expect you to answer. And I might just text Ray, too,” Oliver attempted to joke with her.

They hugged and kissed, both in a better place with more understanding. A little head poking around the door of the room made them smile a little wider as well.

“Dals, come here!” Oliver opened his arms up to his daughter who quickly ran to him and joined in a group hug which all three were beginning to love.

“Are you okay?” Dali looked at Felicity who nodded. 

“Still waiting on a call from the doctor’s office. So far, I’m okay,” Felicity answered before Dali pressed her nose against Felicity’s for an Eskimo kiss. Both laughed.

“Guess what?” Felicity started as Dali got comfortable in Oliver’s lap.

“What?” Her little eyes were certainly brighter than they were earlier in the day.

“Ray’s gonna come over to see me later. I think he’s bringing pizza. You wanna stick around and eat with us?” Felicity offered.

“Hey!” Oliver interjected. “You told me I couldn’t stay. How come you’re inviting Dali?”

“Cause Dali and I are Ray’s friends. I’m sure he would love to see her!” Felicity joked.

Dali looked at her father’s pouty face. “Daddy can we stay till Ray gets here and then go back to Grams?”

Oliver was amazed by his little girl’s offer. He nodded with a fake, grumbling, “Ok,” which made both of the females smile.

Dali leaned toward Felicity’s ear. “Don’t tell him I think he’s cute. I don’t want him to be my boyfriend, he’s too old for me,” she whispered and Felicity did her best not to laugh.

“Ok,” Felicity agreed with a nod.

“Promise?” Dali asked with a serious look.

“Pinky swear,” Felicity held out her pinky and Dali linked her smaller one with her aunt’s.

The little girl took the chance to climb into Felicity’s lap. “I’m sorry about earlier today Lis-ty,” Dali looked down toward Felicity’s chest. “Grams and Di-Di told me it’s okay to be worried when you go to the doctor. But if I have a bad dream I should talk about it.”

Felicity and Oliver both nodded at her. “Like we talked in the waiting room this morning,” Felicity suggested. “But maybe we can talk about it at home or on the phone instead of at an appointment, okay?”

Dali nodded. “So can I stay here in Vancouver to make sure you are okay?”

Felicity and Oliver both looked at his daughter, not expecting this particular followup question.

Oliver squeezed Felicity’s hand and then Dali’s to get her attention. “I tell you what, let’s leave that up to your mom, Dals. She will be here in a couple of days and we can talk to her. _If_ she agrees to stay in Vancouver that’s fine. But you stay with her. And if she wants to go back to L.A. then you need to go with her without arguing. Remember, this is about Felicity, not you, or me, or Mom. Deal?”

Dali pressed her lips together in thought. She recognized the look on her Dad’s face and it wasn’t one that gave her any other options. “Deal.”

The threesome shared another hug before deciding they should at least check in with the two mothers who were outside of Felicity’s bedroom.

“Dali, is my mom still here?” Felicity asked with thoughts about what Dali had said when she first came into the room. “What did you call her?”

“Uh-huh,” Dal answered Felicity’s first question and then smiled before answering the second one. “I called her Di-Di. I think she liked it better than when I tried to call her Grammy.”

Oliver and Felicity looked at each other with curious faces. Oliver ventured to ask the question they shared.

“Dal, why did you try to call Mrs. Donna ‘Grammy’?”

Dallas looked at them both with an almost stunned or ‘well-duh’ type of stare. “Cause when you guys get married I’m gonna have to call her something. She’ll be my grandma, too.”

With that Dali climbed off their laps and headed back to the living room. Felicity and Oliver were left thinking about Dali’s consideration…and whether or not Donna might change her mind _if_ Dali truly became one of her grandchildren…someday.”

* * *

**What If – Chapter 17**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. Emotions are wavering and yet they are all trying to keep it together...as they wait.
> 
> Thanks for your patience, for your comments and to continuing to follow this story! 
> 
> Chapter 18 Tease:  
"I don’t have a diagnosis yet, so they are all saying that I shouldn’t...we shouldn’t be jumping to the worst conclusions. I know they’re right, but when I’m here, by myself, it’s hard not to wonder...what if it is cancer?”
> 
> Ray watched her put her plate down and just sit there staring into space for a minute. 
> 
> “Felicity?” Ray asked quietly.
> 
> “I think that may be the first time I’ve said that out loud,” she admitted.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A friend, conversations, back to simple communication. A little reprieve in the middle of the chaos.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sure Felicity has a TON of friends to turn to. But, Ray is her bff in my head. Besides Oliver and the love they share, Ray is the friend she turns to. (I probably made that clear at the start of this story, huh?) 
> 
> Back to Felicity's Vancouver apartment, trying to get Oliver and Dali out the door, and Ray just being Ray!

** **

**Curved Reality:**

**What If – Chapter 18**

* * *

When Felicity’s doorbell rang around 5:30 she knew who it was. So the second Dali asked if she could answer it, Felicity agreed and watched the little girl grin from ear to ear. 

Donna and Moira had left around 3:00 with Moira trying to take her granddaughter with her so Oliver and Felicity could spend a few hours together. But with the knowledge that Ray was coming over and Felicity’s invitation for Dali to hang around, Moira left by herself.

The threesome had entertained themselves with a round of a card game called “Trash” and a few rounds of “Go Fish” and whatever shows were playing on the Disney Channel. The past half hour Dali had played with her dolls and stuffed animals while Oliver and Felicity sat on the couch, Felicity’s head in Oliver’s lap and both of them practically asleep.

Dali ran to the door and Felicity followed slowly behind her, adjusting her glasses and her clothing that was a little rumpled from her impromptu nap.

When Felicity gave the nod, Dali opened the door to find Ray standing there patiently with a pizza box in one hand and a carton of beer in the other.

“Felicity,” he began in his lovely accent, “you’ve shrunk! And, you look a lot like Dallas Queen. Do you know her?”

Dali laughed out loud which was a most welcome sound to Felicity’s ears and Oliver’s as he turned to see what kind of chaos was playing out at the front door.

“Ray!” Dali tried to playfully chastise him, “Lis-ty’s right here! I _am_ Dallas Queen!”

Ray looked down at the little girl and grinned widely. “Oh, thank God!” he exclaimed and looked at the woman now standing behind the little girl. “Oh, yes! Now I see, there’s Felicity! She does look much more familiar. How did I ever confuse the two of you?”

Again Dali laughed and stepped back, immediately grabbing Felicity’s hand. 

Ray came through the door and headed toward the kitchen to put the pizza down and the beer in the fridge. He looked toward the couch with a quick “Oliver! Hey, Mate!” before unloading his hands.

As soon as they were empty, Ray wiped his hands on his shorts and stepped toward Dali holding out his hands to pick her up. Dallas didn’t hesitate to go to him and let him lift her off the ground. 

Felicity walked over to Oliver and put her hand on his shoulder as she looked at the playful twosome. Ray was making some joke about Dali’s hair and she was poking his chin and talking about his beard.

“Makings of a May/December romance here?” Felicity wondered and nearly laughed when Oliver turned around with one of the most fatherly looks she had ever seen on his face.

“Bite your tongue!” he looked at her grinning and shook his head. “She won’t date until she’s 25 and I swear to God if someone tries to pick her up before then I will put an arrow through him.” Oliver threw a makeshift glare toward his daughter and the man currently holding her.

“Yeah,” Felicity laughed sarcastically, “Rethink that plan right now, Mister. Cause she is NOT living with us until she’s 25.”

Oliver looked at her with a smile. 

“I know,” Felicity nodded and rolled her eyes at herself. “I heard myself say it. You, just hush,” she looked at him and pointed a finger.

Oliver did as he was told. He didn’t need to say anything. After their earlier chat, just the simple slip up, a thought that placed Felicity with him and Dali in 19 years, made him happier than anything had in the past few months. No, he didn’t need to say a word.

“Dali, I think you and I need to roll out. We need to pick up dinner on the way back to Grams and I know Felicity and Ray have a lot of catching up to do,” Oliver pushed himself off the couch.

“But they were together like three whole months. An’ you were mad about it.” Dallas creased her eyebrows giving her father a mean look and calling him out about his attitude.

Oliver tilted his head, trying to tell his daughter to shut up without saying the _illegal_ word. Felicity stepped to Oliver’s side and put her hand in his, leaning the front of her body against his arm. “Suck it up, Dad, she’s right and you know it,” she playfully warned him with a whisper into his ear.

Oliver looked down at her with a defeated look.

“Ray and I have come to an understanding. We’ve talked and we are friends. And, we both want to help Felicity, so we are just fine. Aren’t we?” Oliver looked at the man who was in the process of placing Dali back on the floor.

“Oh, yeah, we’re fine,” Ray grinned. “That’s why I’m spending the night here and you aren’t,” he jabbed.

“Hey!” Dali looked up at him…

“Ray!” Felicity barked at him and rolled her eyes as she felt Oliver’s hand tighten its hold around hers.

Oliver simply let out a soft growl that was mixed in with a heavy sigh.

“I’m kidding! I’m joking! Sorry!” Ray held his hands up in surrender. 

Ray walked over to Oliver finally and held out his hand for a handshake. Oliver gripped Ray’s smaller hand with his larger one and grinned with a hint of evil in his eyes. “I do have a key…”

Ray grinned at him as the two shook hands. “Me, too!” he wagged his eyebrows leaving Oliver to just shake his head.

Felicity put her hand on both of theirs and smiled at her two favorite men. “Boys, the pizza is getting cold and Grams will be starving by the time you two get home,” she pointed at Oliver and Dali. “Go,” she instructed Oliver and he smiled at her when she began walking to the door with him.

“Appointment with Dr. Evans at 10 in the morning, right?” Oliver checked once more as he helped Dali grab her toys.

“Do you need Ollie, Lis-ty?” Dali asked and held the llama out to her.

“No, you hang onto him one more night, okay? He can come back to me tomorrow afternoon when I see you, alright?” Felicity offered and Dali nodded happily. 

Dal held the animal up toward Felicity’s face for a kiss which she gladly gave. Then Felicity bent down and gave Dali a kiss too. “You okay?” she asked seriously and Dali nodded. “If you have a bad dream tonight, you call me. But remember, I’m not going anywhere right now, okay?”

Again Dallas nodded before sharing another Eskimo kiss with Felicity. “Love you Little Llama,” Felicity said easily.

“Love you, too Mama Llama,” Dali smiled and Felicity just pressed her lips together in a grin, not sure exactly how to take that name.

Oliver laughed when Felicity stood back up. “You know you kinda asked for that, calling her Little Llama,” he nodded and smiled. The two of them looked down as Dali took Oliver’s hand.

“Mmm-hmm,” Felicity sighed in agreement and then tilted her face up toward Oliver to share a goodnight kiss. 

He wrapped his free arm around her and pulled her a little closer to him than necessary, knowing Ray was there. “You sure I can’t come back?” he whispered against her lips when their kiss ended.

“Where would Ray sleep?” Felicity wondered with a grin, still just millimeters away from his lips. “Only two of us will fit comfortably in my bed.”

Oliver pecked her lips without any kind of grumbling at all. “You have two bedrooms and a couch, Mama Llama. And like I told Ray, I have a key.”

Felicity snorted with a laugh. Jealous Oliver was priceless, and she loved him. 

Dali tugged on Oliver’s arm. “Are we leaving or not? How long are you gonna kiss?” she wondered and pulled a little harder making no dent in her father’s urgency to go.

“For God’s sake, I’ll sleep on the couch. Will you just let him leave? I need my Felicity time too!” Ray yelled from the couch where he already had a plate full of pizza and a beer.

All four of them laughed. Felicity and Oliver shared one more short kiss and then she closed the door behind him and Dali. 

She looked at her best friend on the couch and walked slowly toward him. 

Ray looked at her as she approached him and his eyes lost a little bit of their humor. “We spent three months together. I haven’t seen you in two weeks and we have more to catch up on now than we ever did. Where do you want to start?”

\-----

Felicity grabbed two slices of pizza and a beer and brought them over to the couch to sit by Ray. “Where should I start?” She looked at him as she sat down and he finished chewing the bite he had just taken.

“Oliver said you have an appointment tomorrow. Is that followup from the mammogram, I’m guessing?” Ray watched as she opened the bottle of beer and took a somewhat long drink of it.

“Hey, wait, should you be having that?” He wondered and reached for the bottle as Felicity gave him a weird look.

“I have a lump, Ray, I’m not pregnant,” she chuckled.

“Well forgive me. I don’t know what you’ve got coming up or what doctors’ orders are,” he shrugged and raised his eyebrows waiting for her to explain more.

“No dietary restrictions, yet, at least,” Felicity began, “Doctors orders are for me to be pampered! If you don’t believe me, ask Oliver. He was in the exam room when Dr. Evans gave that order.” She stopped, took another breath and then continued.

“I’ve had an appointment where my gynecologist did a manual breast exam and now I’ve had a mammogram. For the record, God forbid you ever have to have one, but they fucking hurt. Do not let anyone tell you otherwise. Women with big breasts at least have something that can be squeezed between those two frickin’ cold panels. Small chested women and men... it is hell. The tech was really nice, but God I thought she was gonna rip my tits right off my chest.”

Ray watched as Felicity gingerly touched the area below her breasts and cringed at the morning’s memory.

“They had to look at both?” he wondered. “Did the doctor find something else in the first exam?”

Felicity took a bite of her food, another drink and shook her head. “No. But where there is one, you never know, another might be developing. So they imaged both to be safe.”

“How are you feeling? Other than the squeezed breasts. Are you okay?” Ray wondered, still watching her closely for any indications.

“Physically?” Felicity looked at him and met his concerned eyes. “I’m fine. If I couldn’t feel this stupid knot, I wouldn’t have any indication that anything was wrong. I think, maybe I’ve been a little extra tired, but I think a lot of that is the mental game.”

Ray nodded. “And, that mental game? How’s it going? Who’s playing it with you?” He wondered with a little reference to Oliver.

Felicity smiled with a hint of sadness and nervousness. “Right now the mental stuff is pretty hard. Oliver and I just had a long talk about staying positive. That’s what all of the doctors and nurses and technicians are saying. I mean, I don’t have a diagnosis yet, so they are all saying that I shouldn’t..._we_ shouldn’t be jumping to the worst conclusions. I know they’re right, but when I’m here, by myself, it’s hard not to wonder..._what if it is cancer?”_

She had to stop after that sentence and Ray watched her put her plate down and just sit there staring into space for a minute. He could see the tears in her eyes beginning to run down her cheeks.

“Felicity?” he asked quietly.

“I think that may be the first time I’ve said that out loud,” she admitted with a look into his face. 

Ray quickly sat his food down on the table in front of the couch, scooted toward Felicity and took her in his arms. 

“Oliver and Dali have kept me so..._well, entertained isn’t the right word…”_ she was more than happy to be in his arms and took a moment to laugh sarcastically through her tears, “so focused on other issues, I guess, that the only time I’ve had to really get caught up in my own self pity is when I’m alone...and alone-time is at a premium right now. But I’m glad about that, really I am. That’s why you’re staying here tonight.”

Felicity pulled out of Ray’s embrace simply because she didn’t want to wipe her snotty nose on his shirt. He didn’t hesitate to run to the bathroom and grab the box of tissues that Felicity had on the sink.

She began cleaning up her emotional self and thought about the past week. Oliver and Dali truly had kept her occupied. And even when she was occupied with her own issue she had focused on them. Suddenly she loved them even more. 

Ray’s look hardened just a little bit. “Wait, what other issues?” his voice sounded a little angry and Felicity looked at him with a shake of her head. “You shouldn’t be worrying about their issues, Felicity. You have enough to focus on as it is,” he pressed his lips together waiting for an answer that he wasn’t sure he wanted to hear.

“I told Oliver about this because I thought he would focus on you and help you. Not the other way around,” his eyes reflected his annoyance.

Felicity shook her head and put her hand on his arm as she finished drying her eyes. “It’s not like that. I promise you. The issues...revolve around me, and my situation. Well, they do for the most part. Don’t be angry. Oliver _is _fully focused on me. He even has,” she took a deep breath, “_his wife_,” she said as she exhaled, “coming to Vancouver to get Dali. I’m not a hundred percent on board with that idea...but considering that things are just getting started, Oliver wants to stay focused on me. Dali is having nightmares about me leaving_ them_, Ray.”

He shook his head wondering how these things were _good_ in her frame of reference.

“They are so focused on me,” she let out a small laugh on a breath, “that I am helping them work through issues. Which, is helping me work through issues… and we are there together and even in this mess, it’s nice.” Felicity nodded and let a few more tears escape her eyes.

“It’s like my own little...family…” she looked at him and Ray closed his eyes.

He thought for a second and then admitted, “You know I hated Oliver. Years ago when you two were becoming closer and especially the day you told me that the two of you had kissed. You and him kissing, not your characters… There is still a piece of me, Felicity, that can’t get past the idea that he is going to break your heart. I like the man. He has become a friend and I know that he does love you. But you’re going through all of this and you’re thinking _family_ and…” Ray stopped, watching her face, Felicity wondering how he was going to finish his thought.

“Say it Ray,” she urged him when she thought she could read his mind.

“You’re thinking family and he already has one. His wife is coming to Vancouver to keep _their_ daughter. It’s _his_ family Felicity. I know you love Oliver and Dali and I know they love you but…”

Felicity shook her head. “I know.” Then she nodded at him and made sure he was looking in her eyes. “I know they are not my family. I know they may not become my family. But just like you are here right now? They both have been there for me so far. And I believe - I have to believe - that Oliver will continue to be. Because I need him and I need you and I need Dali and my mom and Oliver’s mom. I need all of you to make sure I get through this.”

Ray closed his eyes and slowly nodded his understanding and agreement. 

“Today the tech doing my mammogram...she called Dali my daughter and Oliver my husband. You know, I didn’t correct her. I couldn’t bring myself to. Because in that very moment I felt like I had just consoled _my daughter_ after she had had a bad dream about _me. _And I put her into her father’s lap before my test with the idea that my husband was holding my daughter because they were both there for me.”

Ray took in a long breath and just listened to her. His anger towards Oliver flew out the window - if it had really been there at all. A bit of jealousy still coursed in Ray’s veins for the man mainly because he was occupying a chunk of his best friend’s time. It wasn’t because Felicity loved Oliver, or the fact that Oliver loved Felicity. He had come to terms with that a while back. He accepted their love, even with Oliver’s marriage, enough that he called Oliver when Felicity’s health became a factor. 

This moment, listening to Felicity talk about having Oliver and Dali with her and seeing how much they both mean to her, Ray knew yet again that he had made the right decision.

“So you’ve spent a good bit of time with Dali these last few days too. I didn’t think babysitting was on your resume.” He knew he was changing the subject slightly. But he also knew this was part of his job: diverting her attention and helping her make the best of this situation.

“She thought you and I were married,” Felicity’s facial expression changed dramatically with Ray’s comment. 

He raised an eyebrow in her direction, “Who gave her that idea?”

“Her own imagination!” Felicity wagged her eyebrows, teasing Ray. “Oh, and by the way, I’m not supposed to tell you this...but Dali thinks you’re cute.”

Ray rolled his eyes. He was happy to see her smiling and laughing. He knew the night was bound to have rounds of tears and laughter. He had come prepared to handle them both. 

This other man in Felicity’s life cherished his dear friend and the time they got to spend together, even if their main topic of conversation was the other man and little girl who were occupying most of her time. 

He simply wanted to enjoy whatever time he could spend with Felicity, and hoped there would be many more nights like this to come.

* * *

**What If – Chapter 18**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading and for your thoughts and comments! 
> 
> Chapter 19 Tease:  
“If this lump hadn’t shown up…” Donna watched to see his reaction, “How much longer would you stay married to Laurel? A marriage can’t be made of pretend feelings and affairs. I’ve wanted to say this to you for a long time Oliver. If you love my daughter the way you claim to, then you can’t love your wife the same way. Something has to give.”


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A mother/lover chat...followed by a little bit of humor in the middle of the fear. And, Dali gets a date with Ray - supervised by Grams!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't like having a TON of characters in a story because I like to have most of them interact in some form or fashion. There are a few in this chapter that made me smile as I wrote and made me wonder 'what if'. ;)
> 
> It's biopsy day, so we're off to St. Elizabeth's Hospital...somewhere in Vancouver...

** **

**Curved Reality:**

**What If – Chapter 19**

* * *

Oliver and Donna sat in the waiting room. The biopsy was _routine_ in Dr. Evans’s words and shouldn’t take more than an hour. Still Oliver wrung his hands together until his knuckles hurt and he had practically paced a hole in the floor already. Felicity hadn’t been out of his sight for 15 minutes.

When he stopped in front of Donna she tilted her head sideways and looked up at him. “You do love her, don’t you?” she asked out of the blue.

Oliver looked at Felicity’s mom, his eyes a little surprised to hear those words coming from her in this particular situation but he blinked a couple of times and then didn’t hesitate to answer.

“I do,” he said softly.

“So what happens after all of this is over? Oliver, have you and Felicity made plans?” Donna had questions she wanted to ask both of them and to keep her and Oliver’s mind off Felicity’s current medical procedure she decided to dive into them now.

Oliver quickly sat down beside Donna and looked at her with a shake of his head. “I’m having a hard time seeing past today right now. Felicity’s talking about going to New York. I need to see my lawyer to officially separate from my wife. My daughter...Dali is worried about Felicity and I don’t know how to explain things to her the way Felicity does. And I can’t even think past the next hour.”

Donna placed a hand on his arm. “Oliver, you read the brochures Dr. Evans gave Felicity. You both know what to expect.”

“I don’t,” Oliver shook his head, slightly interrupting Felicity’s mother. “Today they are poking her with needles, taking samples of this tissue that’s not supposed to be there. Tomorrow they’ll tell us what? That it’s cancer and the next few months are going to be surgery and chemo and her losing that beautiful hair and being sick…” He looked down at his hands and pressed his lips together. “That’s not fair. I am finally realizing what I need to do to really be with her and then...now… What? Now she’s...they’re gonna take her away…”

He began tapping his foot on the floor because he couldn’t get any other words to come out of his mouth. 

Donna grabbed his hand and squeezed it. “You don’t know that!” she kept her voice quiet but her firm tone told Oliver to pay attention. “The only thing _we_ know right now, young man, is that she’s having a biopsy and she’s going to need some t.l.c. when she gets home and I expect you to help provide that.”

She held his hand silently for another moment or two. “Oliver, what would you have done if this lump hadn’t come out of the blue? She and Ray were traveling around Europe. You’re with your wife and daughter somewhere on the Mediterranean coast and there’s no lump in Felicity’s breast. You’re planning to just let go of Felicity?”

Oliver lifted his chin and turned his face toward her. He thought about what she was asking which made him think about London. And it pushed him to think farther back than that. 

“No,” he sat up a little straighter in the uncomfortable hospital chair and looked at Donna. “I don’t know…” he admitted. “I didn’t want to let her go, but she insisted on going to New York. And I understand. But what would happen after New York and after I finish shooting the show? I don’t know.” He admitted sadly.

“So maybe this chaos, this lump, this medical crisis,” Donna started, “It’s a bit of a sign from a higher power, wouldn’t you say? Somehow it’s made you _and_ her give at least a little thought toward the future and what you mean to each other.”

She watched Oliver’s face contort into a _“Do you hear what you’re saying”_ kind of glare with his eyebrows dipped far down on his forehead. But mixed within that glare was also a bit more realization.

“If this lump hadn’t shown up…” Donna watched to see his reaction, “How much longer would you stay married to Laurel? A marriage can’t be made of pretend feelings and affairs. I’ve wanted to say this to you for a long time Oliver. If you love my daughter the way you claim to, then you can’t love your wife the same way. Something has to give.”

Oliver nodded. He had wondered for a long time, years in fact, why he hadn’t had a lecture from one of Felicity’s parents. He was quite sure she had been lectured. But whenever he spent time around Donna or Felicity’s father, there was a mutual respect and understanding that no one would broach this topic. 

“Felicity’s situation is making me see how much I need her in my life. And it’s pushing me to make the break that I’ve needed to face for years now,” he admitted and Donna nodded her head.

Donna felt a bit of satisfaction. Oliver _did _realize Felicity’s importance to his own life. She knew he did, but had wondered for a long while, if he had the strength to make her a priority, other than the support he constantly gave her as his co-star. Felicity - and her family - needed to know he would give her that same support outside those studio walls.

“But Donna,” Oliver took in a deep breath, “When she comes through this and gets the doctor’s clean bill of health and then heads off to New York, leaving me behind, what am I supposed to do? We’ve already had this argument. She’s going to go and I need to stay here. I have obligations here. Dali is here.”

Donna watched Oliver’s eyes that were tear-glazed as he thought about her daughter, his daughter, and what seemed to be an impossible situation no matter the outcome. For a moment, at least, she was seeing things through Oliver’s eyes. Her heart went out to him and she decided maybe he needed some t.l.c. as well.

“Sweetheart,” she placed a hand on Oliver’s cheek and smiled inwardly as she felt his facial hair beneath her hand - one of her daughter’s guilty pleasures, now she knew why, “As hard as it’s going to be for you, you have to let her go. If she possibly can, she’s got obligations to fulfill as well. You just have to have faith in that old adage, _if you love something let it go - and if it’s meant to be it’ll return to you_. She loves you. I can tell you that without a doubt. And I can tell you that New York only came into play because she was scared. She was terrified of the curtain closing on your show and you walking away from her. She needed something sure in her future and the play - oh, this play - is a hell of an opportunity, you have to admit. But, I’m pretty sure she knows _now _that there is a true potential for you in her future. She’s realizing you aren’t going away.”

Oliver wiped his hands on his jeans, back and forth several times just to feel the friction. _Did _Felicity see their situation the same way her mother did? He stood up and began pacing again as Donna smiled at him.

Her daughter was a priority in this man’s life. And he was one in Felicity’s as well. Donna only hoped the two of them would see that, together, over the coming weeks and months. She felt the love in Oliver’s heart and she prayed Felicity’s medical stress would simply help them organize those priorities.

_\-----_

Moira waited at Oliver’s apartment for Laurel to arrive. She had instructions not to share any information about Felicity to Laurel. Oliver’s mother was nervous about seeing her son’s wife. She debated making a quick exit when Laurel arrived once she made sure Dali was settled with her mother.

_Oh, what a complicated mess…_ The older woman again took a few breaths in and out. She didn’t expect Laurel to arrive for another two hours. By that point she hoped Felicity would be home and resting comfortably. That would take a little bit of the stress out of today’s headaches.

Felicity’s situation struck an all-too-familiar chord with Moira Queen. Her own cancer ordeal had consumed a few years of her life but now she proudly wore the title of ‘Survivor’. 

She hoped Felicity wasn’t heading toward the same battle. Either way, she had talked to the young woman and let her know that it was important to lean on those around you. And she was quite proud of this other woman in Oliver’s life. Felicity had listened to Moira’s advice and shared it with her own mother. Moira and Donna had talked several times about helping both of their children. They had become quick friends, even before this health scare.

Moira blew out a breath through her lips. She wanted to be with her friend and her son at the hospital, even though this procedure was still just part of the diagnosis process. She knew how worried Oliver was on several fronts and realized today, no matter how much _she_ wanted to be in the waiting room, the best way she could help was staying with her granddaughter. 

Dali was currently watching Disney channel cartoons while Moira waited for a phone call from Oliver and for Laurel to arrive. Maybe she should go watch TV with Dali. She found herself stressing over things out of her control.

The knock on the door made her look at the clock. Too early for Laurel...she hoped. But, whoever it was could be a slight distraction. She opened the door to Felicity’s other male bff holding a bag with bagels and a large cup of Starbucks coffee.

“Ray!” she smiled. “Why aren’t you at the hospital?” she wondered and opened the door wider for him to come in. 

He smiled at her and accepted the friendly, motherly kiss from Oliver’s mom. “Felicity has told me I am part of the home support crew right now. So I come bearing breakfast.”

He wandered into Oliver’s apartment and looked around. The first thing he really noticed was a picture of Oliver and Felicity in a popsicle stick frame on the refrigerator in the kitchen.

“Any word from our girl yet?” Ray wondered.

“Nothing except they’ve taken her back to prep,” Moira informed him.

“What does that mean?” Ray wondered honestly. Moira smiled, took the cup of coffee from his hand and took a long sip. 

“Oh, I hope this is for me! Don’t tell Oliver but I love their Americana’s!” Moira closed her eyes momentarily enjoying the hot liquid.

Ray grinned at her. “Our secret!” he smiled. 

Moira sat the cup down on the table and looked at Felicity’s friend. “They take her back and get her numbed up for the biopsy. It’s not overly complicated, kind of like going to the dentist, except they are numbing her breast. It’s just a local anesthetic so she will be awake for the procedure. It shouldn’t be overly painful, it’s just stressful as they poke around. She may be a little out of it after the fact because of the anesthetic and pain killers they will give her.”

“And how are _you _doing?” Ray sat down at the table and looked at Moira. 

“I’d like to be at the hospital. I know Oliver’s stressing and Donna is, well, stressing is stating it lightly.” Moira peeked into the bakery bag, pulled out one of the bagels Ray had offered and began picking at it.

“Go,” Ray nodded toward the door and Moira looked at him, surprised.

“I can’t leave Dali here…” Moira looked toward the living room.

“I’ve got her,” Ray smiled. “Really, go,” he directed.

“Dali,” Moira called into the living room without actually thinking about anything else.

“Yeah, Grams?” Dali slowly got up off the floor and came into the kitchen. “Ray!” the little girl’s eyes brightened when she saw him and she went directly to him. She didn’t hesitate to climb into his lap.

“Dali, do you mind if Ray stays here with you while I go to the hospital with Dad and Mrs. Donna?” Moira looked at her granddaughter.

“Is Lis-ty okay?” Dali asked first and foremost with a hint of worry.

“I believe so,” Moira said truthfully. “I would just like to be there to make sure.”

Dali nodded at her grandmother. “Okay, but when’s Mommy gonna be here?”

Moira tilted her head back for a second. That part of the equation had slipped her mind momentarily. “In a couple of hours,” she sighed. “Maybe it’d be better if I just stay here,” she looked toward Ray raised her eyebrows with a sigh and then winked apologetically. 

Ray nodded his understanding. “Do you mind if I hang out with you? I know Felicity will be heading back to her place when she’s done, but Oliver will call you, first, with any news, right?” It wasn’t hard to hear the concern in his voice.

“Yep,” Dali answered his request. “Stay here with us. Do you like our new apartment?” 

Ray nodded. “What’s your favorite part about it, Dali?”

The little girl looked at him and shrugged her shoulders with a thoughtful look. “I dunno yet. It’d be better if Lis-ty and Ozzie were here.”

Ray and Moira looked at each other and smiled softly. They both appreciated Dali’s truthfulness and her innocence. And, both of them guessed correctly, that was a line Oliver had shared with his daughter who always appreciated his honesty.

\-----

“My _boob_ is _numb, _Oliver. It is _fucking…” _Felicity poked at her gown covered chest, “numb.”

“And you are currently high on pain killers and antibiotics,” Oliver smiled toward Felicity’s mother who had come into the room to try and help her daughter get dressed. 

Donna had already been in the room once to try and help, but Felicity had gotten a bit teary eyed and quickly asked Donna if Oliver had left her since he didn’t come in first. That prompted Donna to go back to the waiting room, pull Oliver away from his current pacing habit and into the room where the medical staff had brought Felicity after her biopsy was complete.

He couldn’t help but smile. A - the procedure was done and he could take Felicity back home to wait for the next round of news from Dr. Evans; and B - she had asked for him.

“Don’t...Lici, quit. Don’t poke, it’ll just make it more sore when the numbness wears off. Here,” he tried to distract her with the short sleeve, button-up flannel shirt she was going to wear home. 

Donna handed the shirt to Oliver and grinned at him. She had been through a drugged up daughter after Felicity had her wisdom teeth removed in her teens. She was a source of amusement, but until the anesthesia wore off they also needed to keep her from harming herself...well, apparently that would be Oliver’s job this time.

“But…” Felicity’s words slurred slightly, “Uh! I can’t feel my armpit either,” her eyes were wide as she looked at Oliver in disbelief.  
  
“Lis, Sweetheart, it’s all just part of the biopsy. It’ll wear off in a couple of hours and everything will feel just fine,” Oliver attempted to explain while trying to get the gown off of her.

“My armpit is gonna wear off? How’s that gonna feel fine?” Now she looked at him with tears in her eyes.

“Help?” Oliver looked at Donna with pleading eyes.

“You both are just pitiful,” Felicity’s mother shook her head. “This is just with a local anesthetic and pain killers, Oliver. God help you if she ever has to have a real surgery.”

Oliver looked at the older woman somewhat seriously. “She may have to, Donna. I know this is kind of funny, right now, but I hate the idea of her being in pain or even uncomfortable in this whole situation. It breaks my heart.”

Donna tilted her head in understanding as she looked back and forth between them. “Sorry, I know you’re right. But for just one moment, Mr. Queen, laugh at her, will you?”

Oliver sat back and looked at Felicity’s mom. Felicity looked at her as well. “What are we laughing at?” Felicity looked between Donna and Oliver.

“You, Felicity Smoak, we are going to laugh at you,” Donna pointed a finger at her, and quickly untied the flimsy hospital gown and pulled it down over her chest and off her body leaving her nude from the waist up.

“AH! Mom! I’m naked and,” Felicity looked at her mother and began to whisper. “Oliver is right there.” She covered her breasts with one arm and looked back and forth between her helpers.

“And he has seen your breasts, your chest and pretty much every part of you. Now put this shirt on so we can take you home.” Donna tried to put the sleeves over Felicity’s arms gingerly.

“You’re not supposed to know about that,” Felicity looked at Oliver. “Did you tell her you’ve seen my…” she moved her arm and peeked down at her naked breasts, “and my…” her mouth dropped to a wide open ‘oh’.

At that, Oliver laughed. It started with a grin, a slight chuckle and then a true laugh as he looked at her. 

Donna snickered too. “Honey, it’s a little obvious. The two of you have been naked under the covers on your show in front of the cameras. If he’s seen that much of you _there_ in front of an audience, I can assume he’s seen a lot more in private.”

Felicity looked back at Oliver and took her hand that had been covering her chest, partially, and put it over her mouth as she laughed too. “I think I might be high…” she confessed in another whisper to Oliver who laughed again and shook his head.

“She’s high and half naked,” he pressed his lips together.

“And her mother is right here in the room with you so there will be no taking advantage of this situation, Mister.” Donna’s glasses slipped down on her nose allowing her to give Oliver a purely parental type look.

He lifted his hands in the air in surrender and a promise that he was only there to help. The two smiled at each other and then turned to help Felicity finish dressing.

As they checked the room one last time to make sure they had all of Felicity’s belongings, Felicity leaned a little heavily against Oliver who had his arm around her.

“You doin’ okay?” He asked her and pressed a kiss to her head.

“We are just going home, right?” Felicity asked, seemingly coming back to her senses a little more.

“Yeah, why?” Oliver wondered.

“Little light headed,” she admitted as she squeezed his arm and pressed a kiss against his bicep.

“I’m gonna take care of you, okay?” Oliver promised as he helped steady her body. “Let’s get you home and get you something to eat. I bet you need some coffee right about now.”

Felicity nodded against his arm. “I love you,” she said without a moment’s hesitation.

“I love you, too, Sweetheart, very much,” Oliver pressed another more solid kiss against her scalp and held it for a few seconds.

Donna had Felicity’s bag that held her wallet and i.d., a few items of clothing, keys and other random items. Felicity’s mom watched the two of them and the care that Oliver was taking with her daughter.

“Why don’t you sit in the back with her and I’ll drive home,” Donna suggested when they reached the vehicle that the hospital valet had retrieved from the parking lot.

Felicity nodded at that idea. When they all climbed into the s.u.v. she leaned her head against Oliver’s shoulder and closed her eyes. “My boob is still numb,” she mumbled.

Oliver smiled and placed a kiss on her forehead. “What would you like me to do about that, Lici?”

“Kiss it and make it better?” she mumbled the request and made herself more comfortable against him.

Donna heard the conversation and smiled to herself. She looked in the rearview mirror and watched as Oliver put his cheek against the top of Felicity’s head and simply held her. 

Felicity’s mother really couldn’t ask for anyone better to care for her daughter. She just hoped Oliver was really was prepared to see her daughter through this - whatever was yet to come. Donna also hoped Felicity could see that Oliver was trying, for her, and that her daughter’s eyes would be opened to a future without at least some of the ‘what if’s’ and fears that had been plaguing her.

_____

Thanks to watching Ray play with Dallas, Moira’s time had passed quickly while waiting and worrying about Felicity. Dali had successfully introduced her relatively new friend to Ollie Llama’s various friends and family members and had made him play with the Ken and Barbie dolls in the wedding outfits. 

When the phone rang about an hour and a half later, Moira gladly headed to the kitchen to get the latest news. That left Ray and Dallas sitting in the living room floor watching something called_ Paw Patrol _on the Disney Channel while eating some cut up fruits and cheeses and enjoying juice boxes. 

Dali’s choice...Ray certainly didn’t disagree.

“So,” Ray started. “What’s this I hear about you thinking that Felicity and I were married?”

Dallas finished sucking a drink of juice through her straw and looked at him. “What’s this about you spending the night at her ‘partment?” she retaliated with his own, similar words.

“Touché,” Ray raised one eyebrow at the little girl.

“Daddy didn’t like it when you spent the night. How come?” Dali went on to ask pretty innocently.

Ray thought for a moment. “Felicity is one of my best friends, Dallas. You know, when we went on that trip to England and Portugal I kind of thought maybe Felicity could be my girlfriend because I care for her quite a bit.”

“That’s why you two stayed in the same room sometimes?” Dali asked and Ray nodded.

“She loves your dad, but, you know, she is very worried that he and your mom need to have their time together. And now that she’s not part of your dad’s show that will give him and your mom more of that time,” Ray tried to explain.

“But when we were in Spain Daddy and I came home cause he and Mommy had a fight. He said they were gonna get sep’rated. I think it’s cause Lis-ty got sick and Daddy needs to help her right now but Mommy doesn’t like that. She doesn’t like Lis-ty anymore,” the little girl looked at the dolls that were laying in the floor and picked up the male figure. “What’s that mean, Ray - sep’rated?”

“Sweetheart, I think that’s something you should talk to your mom and dad about, alright? Maybe it just means that Dad’s gonna be here in Vancouver working again and Mom’s gonna stay in California. That seems like they would be separated. But, that’s just my thought,” Ray lied, he knew, but he really wasn’t sure of the situation.

“Or maybe we’re gonna go live with Lis-ty when she gets better!” Dali smiled and handed the boy doll to Ray.

“Do you think your dad would like that, Dali? Living with Felicity?” Ray fished for the answer from an innocent child.

Without a second thought, Dali answered him. “Uh-huh, cause him and Lis-ty love each other. Daddy doesn’t like being away from her. ‘Specially now that she’s got a lot of doctor ‘pointments ‘n’ stuff.”

Ray nodded as he realized the little girl was certainly correct about all of those statements. 

“Do you think Dad will mind me being around to help...Felicity...and him...while she gets better?” He asked out of pure curiosity.

Dallas did think about that question for a moment. She grinned at him and shook her head. “No,” she stood up and walked around to Ray’s back, wrapped her little arms around his neck and proceeded to climb onto his back as though he was a jungle gym. “You’re Lis-ty’s friend. And you’re Daddy’s friend too. I think we will all help Lis-ty feel better.”

Ray was a little startled by Dali’s actions but he grinned and happily accepted her response to his question.

“What are you doing back there Little Llama?” He laughed as Dali started giggling.

“I want a piggy back ride!” she held more tightly to his shoulders as he began to stand up. Obviously this conversation was finished for the time being.

As the two of them started laughing, Moira looked at them and smiled widely as well. “Dali?” she called out. “Felicity’s home. Your dad thought you’d want to know.”

“Yay!” Dali laughed more as Ray stood up with the girl on his back and bounced her toward the kitchen where Moira was putting away her phone. “Can we go see her?”

Before Moira could answer her, the doorbell rang and Oliver’s mother nearly froze at the reminder.

“Grams!” Dali’s eyes widened and she somewhat danced against Ray’s back. “Mommy’s here!”

* * *

**What If – Chapter 19**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading. I hope you're still able to follow the story and the situations through my eyes. I appreciate all your thoughts and comments and still look forward to hearing more from you!
> 
> Chapter 20 Tease:  
Before he moved back toward her, Oliver relaxed his stance and looked at her tears. “So,” he started over again, “will you please just tell me what you need, right now?”
> 
> Felicity pressed her lips together, willing her tears to subside and then met his eyes. “I need you, please.”


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Biopsy recovery part two. Lots of t.l.c. in store but Felicity isn't the only one who needs it. With thoughts of the days ahead, what fears and anxieties are weighing down on Felicity and Oliver. Can they find a way to deal with those issues, together? And, some motherly advice isn't a bad idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I adore Mama Donna. I truly do - Charlotte Ross portrayed an amazing character and I certainly draw some insight from her while thinking about 'this' version of Donna Smoak as well. With her insight and her care for her daughter and the man who could be her son-in-law Mama Donna just might find a way to help them both.
> 
> Now back to Felicity's apartment...

** **

**Curved Reality:**

**What If – Chapter 20**

* * *

Oliver escorted Felicity into her apartment and asked if she wanted to relax on the couch. On the ride home, after their initial, somewhat amusing conversation, she had gotten quiet. He assumed she was sleeping against his shoulder and kept his nose and lips nuzzled against the top of her head.

Felicity shook her head so Oliver helped her into the bedroom while Donna brought the other items out of the car.

“You okay?” Oliver asked as she sat down on the bed and debated what she wanted to do.

“Yeah,” Felicity spoke quietly. “I think so,” she crawled up a little farther on the bed. “I know they didn’t put me to sleep but I still feel kinda out of it.”

“That’s fine,” Oliver commented with full understanding. “Let’s get you settled and I’ll just hang out in the living room. Here,” he grabbed something from out of the overnight bag he had brought over before they went to the hospital that morning. “Look, I picked up a baby monitor. I’ll have the speaker in the living room with me and all you have to do is yell for me. Well, you really don’t have to even yell. Just use it like a walkie talkie. I’ll hear you, I promise.”

Felicity watched as he plugged in one of the devices and sat it on the table by her side of the bed.

“There ya go,” Oliver smiled at her softly.

She stayed quiet with just a slight smile quickly forming and disappearing from her face. 

“What?” Oliver wondered. “Do you need some help changing clothes? Just tell me what you need. That’s what I’m here for. Do you need some water, are you hungry?”

Felicity shook her head before a few tears collected in her eyes and her lips quivered a little. “The next time I talk to Dr. Evans I get an answer,” she shrugged her shoulders helping Oliver realize what was on her mind.

“That’s true,” he moved beside her and purposefully pulled her legs up onto the bed and pointed toward her pillows, telling her to get more comfortable. When she followed his orders he then sat down on the side of the bed right beside her. “And just like I am right now, Felicity, I’m gonna be right there by your side. So will Donna, so will Ray, my mom, I’ll even bring Dali if you want me to. We will all be right there by your side.” He picked up her hand and kissed her palm as a few tears dripped over her cheeks.

“I guess I’m just scared,” Felicity admitted with a quiet little sob escaping from her lips that she really didn’t expect. “Thank you, for being here, but I’m still scared.”

Oliver nodded. “That’s fine, you can be. You’re allowed to be scared and mad and frustrated. Whatever you want to feel right now, you’re allowed to.”

“I just kinda feel numb. And I don’t just mean my chest...this time,” she attempted to crack a small smile. “It hit me on the way home that the biopsy is done and I’m waiting on those results. I don’t know what to think, I don’t know what to feel, I don’t know what’s next for me and my body. That’s in a doctor’s hands.” She shook her head and looked down at her hand that Oliver was still holding. 

“You don’t like it because you aren’t in control. This goes back to _your body, your life, your decision_, doesn’t it?” Oliver watched her face as she nodded slowly. 

“When I first discovered this lump I was determined to just ignore it because I had to go on with my life, my plans. Ray found out about it and suddenly I couldn’t ignore it because it was affecting his life. Then the next thing I knew, you knew about it, too.” She shook her head, squeezed his hand and looked across the room at the mirror above her dresser. 

“Do you know how pissed off I was that Ray called you? How the hell was I supposed to ignore this after that? How was I supposed to make a complete break from _you _if you were suddenly back in my life _helping_ me? You were supposed to just stay with Laurel and Dali and be with them in Vancouver or L.A. or wherever, thousands of miles away from...me.” She glanced back at him in time to see Oliver tilt his face as he listened to her, his friend that he loved.

“Why couldn’t you just stay with them and let me ignore this until I was ready to deal with it? If I could’ve gotten over you first, then I…” She stumbled, not really knowing what she was trying to say.

“Lici,” Oliver stated her nickname in a calm voice. He placed her knuckles against his lips, kissed them and then held them against his cheek. “Somebody, in the last few weeks, told me that love wouldn’t just go away, no matter how far apart you are. I _love_ you. Do you understand that? I’m going to separate from Laurel. She’s agreed to that as a beginning. I’m not going back to her. We aren’t going to reconcile. Too much has happened between us - or not happened - and at this point too much has been said to go back. Your mother...your _mom_, just this morning said that maybe this situation was meant to be so I would pull my head out of my ass and get my shit together, because I _love you_.”

Felicity chuckled softly. “My mom said that, really? She told you to get your head out of your ass?”

Oliver put her hand back in his lap and looked down at it as he ran his thumb across the back of her wrist. “Maybe not in those exact words,” he felt her squeeze his fingers and looked back into her face.

“Should I expect her or your mom to give me the same lecture?” Felicity wondered.

“No. I think we all know that your plan to go to New York was or _is_ your attempt to figure things out. And I understand that, Felicity. I really do. This last week or so, I’ve realized that I need to let go of the life I’ve been faking with Laurel, but I still have a daughter that I love who depends on me. And, I’ve realized that you’re probably a step ahead of me in thinking about all of this. If you love me too, I come with, well, baggage.” Oliver pressed his lips together trying to think of a better way to put his thought.

“Dal isn’t baggage. You know I don’t think that. I do love you and love her, too,” Felicity squirmed a little bit to sit up straighter and weaved her fingers through his, interlocking them. “But you’re right, she’s been part of my thought process. If I went away she wouldn’t be torn, you wouldn’t have to be torn if…”

“If what? Felicity, you’re still torn obviously. And if you’re upset or confused or hurt, so am I,” Oliver interjected. “You can’t tell me you aren’t right now, can you?”

“I was. I am still, a little bit but now it’s more about leaving you and Dali either because I have the commitments I’ve already made… or because...if…” she licked her lips nervously with her thoughts coming full circle, “if I get sick from this, I refuse to be a burden on you. Okay, yes, separating from Laurel is still a good idea. She doesn’t treat you the way you deserve to be treated, Oliver. She certainly doesn’t love you the way you deserve to be loved. But it also wouldn’t be fair to you if I can’t love you or treat you the way you deserve, either.”

“Okay,” with that thought, Oliver pulled his hand away from hers and stood up, locking his hands behind his head. “Beg to differ on that front, Felicity. You’ve already proven to me that you love me perfectly. You treat me better than I’ve ever imagined I deserved.”

“But that was before,” Felicity interrupted. “If I have to go through hospital stays and treatments and God knows what else, that is not going to be fair to you. You’d be better off alone, or finding somebody else...than being stuck with -”

“Stop it!” Oliver raised his voice slightly, moved his hands to his hips and looked at her. “Just...I guess it’s my turn to throw some words back at you.” He turned around to face her with a serious gaze staring into her eyes, “My life, my choice.”

Oliver breathed in and out shallowly a few times. “I’m here right now because I love you. That’s not going to change if you are sick or if you are on another continent. I’m with you because I love you. You are letting me be here because you love me and you want me here and you need me. Please don’t try to deny that. But if we go into that office and Dr. Evans says this is cancer and it’s a long road, do _not_ try to push me away. That would hurt me _and Dali_ more than you could ever know. I need you to realize that right now Felicity. Whatever Dr. Evans says, I’m here and I want to be here. Don’t take that away from me.”

She felt more tears coming from her eyes and simply let them come. She wove her own fingers together and looked at her hands while Oliver watched her. “Ok,” she gave into him with a quiet voice. 

Before he moved back toward her, he relaxed his stance and looked at her tears. “So,” he started over again, “will you please just tell me what you need, right now?”

Felicity pressed her lips together, willing her tears to subside and then met his eyes. “I need you, please.”

Oliver’s shoulders dropped. He finally let his own tears come through as he went back to her bedside. “Where?” he wondered as she held a hand out to him.

Felicity patted the mattress beside her, on his side of the bed. “Hold me, please?” She requested and he nodded, first bending down to place a kiss on her lips. He then wrapped his arms around her and held her using one hand to stroke her hair to try and calm her anxiety.

After a moment he pulled back and looked into her eyes. “Give me two minutes, okay?” Oliver gently wiped tears off her cheekbones and kissed her forehead and her eyes. “Do you want Donna to stick around, or are you okay with just you and me?”

Felicity hadn’t even thought about her mother. She started to get out of bed and Oliver stopped her. “Stay put. I’ll send Donna in here and you two figure it out. Once we are all settled and on the same page, that spot, right there,” he pointed at the very place where her hand was sitting, next to her hip on the comforter, “is mine.”

Felicity smiled. “Thank you.”

“What have we said about that?” Oliver pointed his index finger in her direction.

“I love you,” she changed her words which then changed his face to the softer, ready-to-do-anything-for-her, man that she adored.

\-----

Felicity watched Oliver walk into the other room and thought about their conversation. She had been more open and honest with him in the past two weeks than she had over the past seven years. She guessed, perhaps she was maturing. Perhaps, she thought, these life or death ideas were making her think about her own life and those around her - just like Oliver was doing. 

He had pulled his head out of his ass and was going to separate from Laurel because he realized there was more to his life than what she could offer. Part of that involved Felicity. She hoped it still would after the next few days...or weeks...or months...or years. 

Felicity breathed in a couple of shallow breaths and looked at the side of the bed where she wanted him to be beside her. Her mind had been going in circles for years. She hated the idea of being in love with a married man. But, she did love him. That’s the part of this whole scenario that kept coming back to her as the truth. She was in love with Oliver, in her heart, in her soul, she felt love for him physically and mentally.

Medical issue aside, distance be damned, his words were right, miles and diagnosis couldn’t change the fact that she did love Oliver...and Dali. The current problem was the commitments she had made across the continent, _if_ by the grace of God this lump didn’t take that from her.

She took a deep breath as her mother walked into the room and looked at her daughter somewhat curiously.

“Are you alright?” Donna asked softly.

“What did Oliver tell you?” Felicity wondered and patted the edge of the bed for her mom to come sit down.

“He said you might need a little t.l.c.” Donna sat down beside Felicity and patted her daughter’s knee. “Tell me what your dear old mom can do.”

Felicity put her hand on the top of Donna’s and smiled at her. “Maybe some perspective? If I can even concentrate for a few minutes,” Felicity gave her mom a little girl’s smile that needed help making a decision. “I’m a little zonked from today’s procedure...I’m a little freaked out from the idea that I will know in a couple of days whether or not I’m facing chemo or surgery or if I let things go too far…”

“Hey now,” Donna stopped her before she went any farther. “Let’s stop the freak out now. You are correct, you should have an answer in a couple of days. But we aren’t going to let you think that things have gone too far. You’re too young, your health is too good and this thing came up too suddenly for it to be...too far.”

Donna spoke matter of factly. It was a tone of voice Felicity had heard her use with patients who needed to refocus their minds. 

“So, ok, Dr. Mom, what else do you suggest?” Felicity smiled and Donna returned the look.

“What else is freaking you out besides the biopsy and results. This _Felicity_ has a lot on her mind. Mom can tell,” Donna prodded.

“Did you tell Oliver to pull his head out of his ass and get his shit together?” Felicity asked her straight out and Donna laughed.

“Not in those exact words, no,” she looked away from her daughter momentarily and then back at Felicity’s face with a slight blush in her cheeks. “He told me he will file for a separation from Laurel because he’s realizing...well, I’m sure you two have already had this conversation. I told him, basically, it’s about time. If he really does love you…” again Donna looked away, not willingly wanting to admit these thoughts about Oliver to Felicity.

“Mom,” Felicity asked for her attention to meet her eyes again. “It’s okay. You know, Oliver and I are both amazed that you haven’t lectured us over our entire...relationship.”

Donna nodded. “It’s not hard to see that the two of you fell in love, Felicity. But you are my daughter. I know you’re an adult capable of making your own decisions.” She shook her head and tilted it to the side as she looked at Felicity’s face. “This isn’t about my feelings though, Sweetheart. You aren’t freaking out because I finally lectured Oliver, or you about your feelings for each other.”

Felicity clasped her hands together. “I’ve told Oliver, and Dali, that if the lump turns out okay, if it’s something that can be treated quickly, or if at least I can still go, I still need to go to New York. I need to do the play and I need to know what else is out there for me.’

Donna nodded. “That’s understandable. Why is that worrying you?”

“Because, I love Oliver and Dals. I know I do, in my heart and in my bones I know I do. But I still feel this insane need to be on my own and be in New York and do my own projects. And I’m afraid he won’t understand that. Especially because _I_ don’t understand it. Mom, if I truly love him, why don’t I want to drop this whole idea of New York and being on my own? Why don’t I want to just be with him, 24/7?”

Donna looked into her daughter’s conflicted eyes. “Felicity, Sweetheart, how long have you waited for him to make a break from his marriage. Did you ever think it would really happen?”

Felicity looked at her mom and had to admit, she really had never thought that he would end his marriage. “There may have been a moment, when he first told me that he loved me, years ago…”

“And each year that the show was renewed, you didn’t think twice about him being in your life, married or not, am I right?” Donna asked and Felicity nodded. “Because you were still going to be together, right?”

“But during season 6 we all talked about how the storylines were wrapping up. We all said one more season and then that...that would be it. Oliver, John and I… we all said season 7 was it,” Felicity held a few tears in her eyes as she thought back.

“What really went through your mind after you all discussed that?” Donna asked almost like a therapist.

“I got scared. I started telling myself to prepare for a life without Oliver in it. I reminded myself that he was married and if that hadn’t ended by that point, then it wasn’t going to. I decided to start letting go and making my own plans. So I did.” Felicity sniffled and swiped at her tears. 

“And now you still need to prove to yourself that you can do this on your own. The last seven years have been practically perfect and more than you could ever imagine. But you need to make that step - that really, really big step, on your own,” Donna supplied.

Felicity nodded slowly. “I can’t just assume I have a life with Oliver because we still aren’t at that point. And I need to know I can have a life on my own first. I don’t think he will understand that.”

“Ok,” Donna waited for the rest of the explanation.

“But right now, until I know what’s going on with my health, I need him too much to even try and tell him that. He’s willing to let me go to New York but I...the part about wanting to really be on my own out there...I’m not sure he’s willing to accept that part. I can’t even try to explain that to him yet, though, because I don’t want him to leave me now.”

Felicity looked at her mother wondering if she was making any sense at all.

Donna blinked her eyes and took a deep breath. “What did he tell you just a little bit ago? Don’t try to push him away? I heard part of that conversation, Sweetheart. But I can feel your confusion. How long are you thinking you want to be _on your own_?” Donna pressed her lips together waiting.

“At least through the play. A few months, maybe a year, I don’t know,” Felicity admitted.

Donna nodded. “Will you see him during that time or do you really want him to stay away?”

“My initial thought was that I wouldn’t see him at all. I would come back to Vancouver when he wasn’t here. And I figured he would be tied up enough with Dali starting school and whatever he and Laurel were doing…”

“You wouldn’t come back for the end of the show?” Donna wondered curiously.

“No. I said my goodbyes; I made my exit. I’m done.” Her eyes drifted to the corner of the room.

“That sounds pretty firm,” Donna commented.

Felicity raised her chin but still didn’t look at her mother. “That part is. The other stuff, I’m having second thoughts about a lot of it.”

“Do you feel any better getting any of that out in the open?” Felicity’s mother offered a slight smile.

Felicity breathed in and finally looked back at Donna as she took in a deep breath. “Maybe,” she really wasn’t sure.

“Just take things one step at a time, alright?” Donna suggested. “Follow up with Dr. Evans and focus on what comes next with your diagnosis, okay?”

Felicity nodded slowly. 

“Do you want me to stick around until they call?” Donna offered and Felicity shook her head.

“I think I just want…”

“Oliver?” Donna supplied and patted her daughter’s leg again.

“I do love him,” Felicity told her mother and Donna smiled.

“That’s been obvious for a while now. And, you’ve said it before. But how does it feel to say that, knowing that he’s made a life-changing decision that could clear the path for the two of you to be together, truly, together?” Donna chanced asking.

“Honestly? I still need to see it happen. I guess part of me still won't believe it until I see it. It’s a little overwhelming...but the thought of it feels really good,” Felicity admitted.

Donna stood up and looked down at her daughter. “Let me know when you hear from Dr. Evans. You rest, and you let Oliver take care of you. Do you hear me?”

Felicity nodded with a larger smile on her face. “Oh, mom, did I say anything embarrassing before we left the hospital? It wasn’t like when I had my wisdom teeth out, was it?” she took a moment trying to recall.

Donna chuckled. “There was a lot of talk about your numb boob...and you may have admitted that Oliver has seen you naked, more than once.”  
  
“Oh God,” Felicity started. “Do I even want to know?”

“No, Sweetheart.” Donna spoke for her. “But what you will want to know now and in the future, is that that man,” she pointed outside of Felicity’s bedroom, “does not like to see you in the least bit of pain. Breaks his heart, truly. He loves you. Don’t doubt him on that.”

Felicity nodded. She did know that. And because of that, she wanted him right by her side, every possible moment – at least for the next few days. 

* * *

**What If – Chapter 20**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still a lot of struggling going on in Felicity's mind and several steps that Oliver needs to take to help clear up some of the confusion for both of them. 
> 
> Chapter 21 Tease:  
He was scared of losing Felicity. Oliver really hadn’t let his mind go to that extreme until this very moment. Every other time it had reared its ugly head he had bashed it down with thoughts of losing her to distance...losing her to Ray…not truly losing...her.


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Biopsy recovery part III - when Laurel gets to town. And Felicity and Oliver get to spend at least a little time alone together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You will likely, again, think I'm giving Dali too much credit. Again, I will ask that you play along with me. Sometimes (much of the time for me) we have to look at things from a child's perspective. Seeing things simply makes them easier to understand. A lot of times we, as adults, make things much more complicated. So I'm a complete advocate of looking at things from a child's p.o.v.

** **

**Curved Reality:**

**What If – Chapter 21**

* * *

Laurel looked around the apartment when Moira opened the door and invited her in. Dali quickly climbed off of Ray’s back and ran to her mom, wrapping her little arms around Laurel’s waist. 

“Hey my little bug!” Laurel picked up her daughter and buried a kiss against her cheek. “I’ve missed you!”

“I missed you, too,” Dali answered and returned her mom’s kiss with one of her own. “But I’ve been helping Daddy and Lis-ty and Mrs. Donna.”

“Oh, you have?” Laurel wondered as she put Dali back on the floor. She looked at Moira. “Looks like you’re helping Grams right now.” Laurel made eye contact with the one man who was present. “Ray, hello. Certainly didn’t expect you to be here.”

“He was just waiting till Lis-ty got home from her… What’s that word again, Grams? Bio...bi-op...something? The doctor had to give Lis-ty a shot right here,” Dali pointed toward her breast.

Laurel looked up at both Ray and Moira. Moira reached for Dali’s hand. “Sweetheart, remember Daddy said we don’t need to tell everybody about Felicity’s doctor appointments, okay?”

“But it’s just Mommy,” Dali countered.

“Hey, Little Llama,” Ray interrupted. “Why don’t we go back and play with those Barbie dolls a little more. Give Grams and Mom a chance to chat, okay?” He offered.

Laurel somewhat rolled her eyes at the idea while Moira gave Ray a _‘thank you’_ with her eyes.

Dali shrugged her shoulders. “I’m glad you’re here Mommy!” She turned back to Ray and took his hand to go back into the living room.

“Moira, what’s Felicity dealing with? She had to have a breast biopsy?” Laurel wondered when Dali was out of ear shot.

“Felicity and Oliver have asked me not to talk to you about it, Laurel. I’m sorry, but they are really trying to keep the medial stuff private,” Moira informed her.

“And yet they’ve told a six year old what’s going on?” Laurel wondered sarcastically with a shake of her head. “Why would you introduce Dali to a medical issue at this age?”

Moira took a step away from Laurel and sat down at the kitchen table. “Your daughter understands a lot more than you think. She’s right. She has been helping Felicity and Oliver a lot this last week or so. She asks questions which makes them think of answers or look up answers and share them with her. This is a learning experience for them on a lot of fronts.”

Laurel crossed her arms over her chest. “Well if they don’t want me to know what’s going on then what am I supposed to do when Dallas wants answers?”

Moira withheld her eye-rolling at Laurel’s childishness. “Why don’t you talk to Oliver about that. Maybe the four of you can sit down together…”

“Four of us? I’m sorry, do you mean me, Dali, Oliver and...and _her?” _Laurel laughed with an edge in her tone.

“Why not?” Moira wondered.

“Let’s see, she’s sleeping with _my_ husband. He’s planning to file for a divorce because of her and both of them are apparently exposing _my_ young daughter to a medical situation that’s causing Dali stress and anxiety,” Laurel rattled off a list that she had apparently practiced, probably for her attorney.

“They love her enough to keep her informed and involved, Laurel,” Moira tried to correct her.

“Sure, we’ll see if a judge sees it that way,” Oliver’s estranged wife huffed. “Just add that to the list of mistakes Oliver has made over the past few years.”

“You’re talking about my son, you realize,” Moira sat back in her chair and crossed her own arms.

“You don’t think he’s made mistakes?” Laurel wondered.

Moira lowered her eyebrows and tilted her face as she looked at Oliver’s wife. “I don’t think this is the best topic for us to discuss.”

Laurel nodded at her mother-in-law, “So you aren’t against him breaking up his family and jumping into bed with _Felicity_? I guess if she’s dealing with breast cancer that’ll at least put a damper on _that_ part of their relationship. It’s probably doctor’s orders for him to keep his hands off of her right now.”

“Laurel!” Oliver’s mother was taken aback by her lack of decorum.

“Mommy! That was mean,” the little voice stepped through the door into the kitchen and looked at her mother. “Lis-ty is scared. She needs our hugs. That’s why Daddy holds her hands and hugs her. Ray hugs her too, don’t you?”

Ray nodded as he followed Dali back into the kitchen. “Sorry, but the little lady has a mind of her own. You know it’s not hard to hear your entire conversation from one room away.”

“Why are you talking about Daddy and Lis-ty like you’re mad, Mommy?” Dallas wondered innocently.

Laurel threw glares at both Ray and Moira and took a deep breath as she looked at her daughter and turned on a sad smile. “Sweetheart, I’m hurt that Daddy would rather spend time with her instead of me and you,” Laurel began.

“That’s why Daddy says you and him should be sep’rated. But he’s gonna keep spending time with me, he promised. He says I can be with him and Lis-ty whenever I want to,” Dallas shared a part of a conversation that she and Oliver had discussed soon after they returned from Spain.

“Of course he does, Baby,” Laurel nodded at her and breathed in and out a couple of times. “But I’m still hurt that he is focusing on Felicity,” she said her name slowly, “when there’s a lot of things at home that need his attention,” she looked at her daughter who immediately crumpled her face into a pouty, near scowl.

“Mommy, Lis-ty’s got something in her breast that shouldn’t be there and she’s worried it’s gonna make her sick. Shouldn’t we help her, like Daddy is, instead of being upset with her? If we love her we should help her.” Dali explained pretty simply.

Dallas turned back around and lifted her arms up toward Ray. When he picked her up, a little nervously under Laurel’s glare, he simply held the little girl.

“Do you think Lis-ty will be mad I said that about her breast?” She asked Felicity’s friend in a most mature way.

Ray gave Dali a soft smile and shook his head gently. “No Little Llama. I don’t think she’d be mad at all.”

“Moira,” Ray turned his attention to Oliver’s mom, “Did you say they were back home? I might try to call Donna to check on Felicity.” He again put Dallas back on the floor and watched as Dali moved to her mother.

Moira nodded at Ray, agreeing that a call to Donna might be good instead of bothering Felicity or Oliver. 

“I’m going to head back home then, but please let me know if you hear anything else,” Ray requested and Moira nodded at him with a smile.

“Thank you for coming by here Ray,” Moira smiled a bit wider. “You helped Dallas and me both today. Thank you for the coffee!” She pointed at the cup that was still sitting on the counter.

“Americana,” Ray winked at Oliver’s mother. “I’ll remember that next time.”

“Bye Ray!” Dali waved at him from the perch she had just taken in Laurel’s lap. “Will you come back and play Barbie’s with me again?” she smiled a toothy grin at him as Felicity’s friend rolled his eyes.

“For you, Dali, yes, I will.” He blew her a kiss with his hand and Dali puckered in his direction as Ray made his exit.

“I like Ray, he’s cute,” Dali informed both her mother and grandmother.

Moira agreed with her granddaughter. 

Laurel found herself wondering what exactly was going on with Felicity and why Oliver didn’t want her to know.

\-----

As Donna sat talking to her daughter, Oliver took a few minutes to put away some of the groceries he had brought over that morning and thought about the next few days. He had done really well, not letting himself get caught up in the what-if’s of Felicity’s situation. But with her openness about being scared there had to be a moment when he admitted that he was too. He just wasn’t sure how or if he should admit that to her.

He was scared of losing Felicity. Oliver really hadn’t let his mind go to that extreme until this very moment. Every other time it had reared its ugly head he had bashed it down with thoughts of _losing_ her to distance..._losing _her to Ray…not truly _losing...her. _He breathed in deeply.

He had been preparing himself for the thoughts of Felicity undergoing surgery and the potential of going through some of the same treatments that his mother had endured. Oliver felt sure together they would have the strength to pull her through that. 

He still wasn’t willing to think beyond that. So he closed his eyes for a moment and put the thought of post-biopsy, tipsy Felicity into his mind. The idea of her wide-eyed, basically admitting to her mother that they had slept together face made him smile. 

When his phone rang on the couch he slipped over and took a deep breath. Laurel’s ringtone likely meant she was in town and potentially at his new place. As much as he didn’t want her involved in this process, he was glad to have her there helping with Dali. 

“Hello,” he said casually.

_“Oliver,”_ Laurel began, _“I’m at your apartment. Moira just left and Dali is in her room playing. Did you know Ray was here today?”_

Oliver raised his eyebrows and pressed his lips together in thought. “No, I had no idea. I think Felicity told him Mom was staying with Dals over there today. Dali has a crush on him, by the way,” Oliver informed her with a smile.

_“Great,” _Laurel rolled her eyes. _“So do you want to tell me what’s going on, Oliver? Moira offered me nothing, but Dali said Felicity had a biopsy and there’s something in her breast that could make her sick. Is she dealing with breast cancer, Oliver?”_

Oliver found himself pinching the bridge of his nose. He had no right to give out any of Felicity’s medical information, not even to his wife. He didn’t want her to be informed or involved in any way except caring for Dallas. 

When he didn’t answer, Laurel continued. _“Why am I hearing about this from Dallas and why are you talking to her about this? She’s six Oliver. There’s no reason she should have to deal with something as stressful as this.”_

“Laurel?” Oliver spoke just a little more loudly to interrupt her intentionally. “Laurel, listen. This isn’t for me to discuss. Felicity and I have talked to Dali because she asked us directly what was going on and Felicity was willing to share with her. We didn’t go into details, we put things in simple terms that she can understand and didn’t make it scary for her. We are taking this one step at a time and trying to keep Dals informed in the simplest ways possible.”

_“What am I supposed to tell her when she asks me about this?” _Laurel was still annoyed that Oliver wouldn’t give her any real information.

“Tell her that I will talk to her as soon as I can, or have her call me. She knows that Felicity or I will talk to her as soon as we can,” Oliver offered.

He could hear Laurel breathing in and out on the other end.

“Laurel, are you taking her back to Los Angeles?” Oliver really wasn’t sure he wanted to know her answer.

_“What do you think is best?”_ Laurel’s voice sounded slightly caring. _“I’ve cleared my schedule for the next few weeks. I was afraid Dali would get mad if I tried to take her away from you...and Felicity...right now,” _she admitted begrudgingly.

With that question and her change in tone, Oliver kept his voice calm. “I would appreciate it if you stayed here at least for the rest of this week. Felicity will have a followup appointment. Dali has been a good distraction and a boost for her so far, and for me. I know that’s not what you want to hear…”

Laurel took another deep breath, _“Oliver, I don’t know exactly what to feel right now. I’m obviously not Felicity’s biggest fan at the moment and I can’t even call us friends. But I don’t want her to be sick and I certainly don’t want her facing something serious. I would hope she would think the same about me.”_

Oliver rubbed a hand over his mustache and beard. “I’m sure she would. And Laurel, I’m sorry this is all coming down this way. I know, and I think you know that we’ve needed to face this for a while. Sleeping in different bedrooms, taking separate trips, no communication...I’m sorry I haven’t faced up to this already.”

He heard Laurel sigh heavily on the other side of the line. “_I’m not happy with the thought of a separation or a divorce, that’s not what I want. But after thinking about it, and thinking about Dali, that is probably the best for all of us. I would just ask that you not push Felicity in my face. I’m having a hard enough time listening to Dali talk about her. I truly don’t want her to be sick, Oliver, but if I have to put up with everyone asking me about your affair….”_

“Laurel, just stop there, please.” Oliver found himself nearly gritting his teeth after her last words. He took a breath and then cut into her thoughts. “I can just about guarantee you that anytime over the next few weeks that Dal spends with me, she’ll also be spending it with Felicity. A majority of my time will probably be at Felicity’s apartment. I’m not going to give up seeing my daughter just because you don’t like the woman I’ve fallen in love with. We’ve already had this argument and I don’t feel like reliving it - especially not over the phone.” 

_“Fine,” _Laurel conceded. _“What if I choose to take Dali back to L.A.?”_

Oliver did his best to steady his breath. “I thought you had already decided… please, don’t. At least not till next week, maybe.”

_“Fine,” _she said again. _“I’m not going to be at your beck and call while I’m in town. I’ve got things I want to do while I’m up here.”_

“That’s fine,” Oliver agreed. “I’ll call you before I come over to get Dali or ask you to drop her off.”

_“When is Felicity’s next appointment?” _Laurel dared to ask.

Oliver thought for a moment. That information was actually pretty easy to give her. “We don’t know yet. Waiting for a call from her doctor.”

_“Well, please let me know. I’m sure Dali will be asking. It’d be nice if I can give her some kind of information to help her know I am concerned at least,” _Laurel explained.

Oliver nodded to himself. “I can do that. Tell Dali to call me anytime.” He was grateful as Donna wandered out of Felicity’s room and looked at him on the phone. “Laurel, I need to go. I’ve got to get Lis some lunch and get her to rest,” he told her.

He ended the call pleasantly and looked at Donna. “Everything okay?”

“Mmm-hmm,” Donna nodded. “I need to call Moira back and touch base with her. Felicity said she wanted you to come in to help her rest.”

Oliver nodded. He quickly fixed a sandwich for Felicity and grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge. “Do you want to eat before you go? I’ve got plenty for sandwiches and there’s fruit,” he offered.

Donna smiled at him and shook her head. “I’ll grab something on the way home, you just take care of my girl.”

Oliver smiled with a slight blush. “I’ll do my best. Should I call you if we hear from Dr. Evans?”

Donna nodded with a, “Yes, please,” and then stepped over to give Oliver a kiss on the cheek before she left. Oliver smiled, returned her kiss and watched Felicity’s mom head out the door.

Then he balanced the plate, with the sandwich and some grapes, in his hand, put the water under his arm and picked up his phone and tablet to take into the bedroom. He figured Felicity would eat, sleep and he would read or play games quietly right by her side if that was where she wanted him.

\-----

“I heard your phone ring, was that Dr. Evans?” Felicity asked when Oliver came back into the room. 

She was sitting up, also on her phone, obviously waiting for him to return.

“No,” Oliver smiled gently at her, happy to see she was a little more perked up after chatting with Donna. “Dr. Evans knows better. She’s got your number. You’ve told her to call you. If she can’t reach you _then_ she can call me. Or am I third in line, following Mom?”

Felicity smiled at him. “Donna’s your mom now too?”

“Testing you,” Oliver brought the plate and water over and handed them to Felicity. “I was just referring to your mom, not mine.”

“Mmm-hmm,” Felicity answered teasingly. “What’s this?” she looked at the food.

“I thought you might want to eat something before you lay down. How’s your pain level?” he sat down beside her on the edge of the bed again.

Felicity picked at the sandwich and then ate a grape or two before opening the water and drinking about a third of the bottle. “It doesn’t hurt right now. Hey, can you help me,” she started unbuttoning the flannel shirt that she had worn home. “I just wanna put on one of your t-shirts to sleep in, maybe.”

“Yeah, okay,” Oliver answered. “Do you have one…”

“Top drawer of the dresser,” Felicity smiled knowing he knew exactly where he might find pieces of his own clothing...still.

Oliver smiled to see some simple, familiar v-neck shirts in the drawer. He grabbed the white one that was on the top of the stack and turned back to her. “No wonder my stash was looking low,” he joked.

Felicity smiled and then grimaced slightly as she went to remove the heavier shirt from her body. 

“Here, let me help,” Oliver moved more quickly back to the bed and helped her ease the material over her shoulders. “You sure it’s not hurting?” he asked again.

Felicity sat there, naked from the waist up, looking down at her breast where there was a small butterfly bandage over the half-inch long incision where they had inserted the needle for the biopsy.

“It’s just stiff more than anything,” she mumbled slightly while Oliver simply admired her. “Although I am beginning to thaw out,” she nudged her chin against her shoulder and then turned her eyes toward Oliver.

He blinked a couple of times, not staring at her breasts but taking in just the sight of _her. _“Sorry,” he apologized, although he wasn’t sure why he was apologizing. “Let’s cover you up before you get cold,” he suggested and Felicity rolled her eyes.

“Before _I_ get cold? Or before you heat up?” she ducked her head slightly and watched him roll his eyes. 

“Let’s not go there,” he requested and watched Felicity grin. “But for the record, I’m staring at you because you’re beautiful.”

Felicity brushed off his compliment with a blush and a shake of her head. “I like going there,” she admitted with a wider smile and then a nibble of her bottom lip. “And I like going there with you.”

Oliver smiled at her but still helped guide his t-shirt over her head and onto her arms. “Save that thought for a later date?” he asked and placed a kiss on her nose.

Felicity pouted. “But what if I want it now?” She put a hand against his collarbone, keeping him close to her with their faces just a few inches apart.

Oliver sucked in a breath. “Your numbness is just wearing off. I don’t want to take a chance of hurting you,” he placed another kiss on her lips and Felicity hummed, practically begging him to let their lips linger together for a few moments longer.

“You’re a tease,” her tongue snuck out and snagged a teensy taste of him before Oliver pulled away from her own dose of teasing.

“Eat some more. I’m gonna change into some shorts and then I’ll be back to help you get comfy,” Oliver pulled away from her hesitantly.

“Oliver, who was on the phone?” Felicity nibbled at the sandwich a bit more and ate the rest of the grapes.

He stepped back out of the bathroom in a pair of black athletic shorts and a white t-shirt of his own.

“Ooo, twinsies!” Felicity pulled on her shirt and pointed to his.

Oliver rolled his eyes. “It was Laurel,” he informed her. “She’s at the apartment with Dali.”

“Oh,” Felicity commented and then began to get comfortable on her pillow.

Oliver climbed into the bed beside her and rolled onto his side. He raised his head up on his palm and looked over Felicity’s body as he watched her get under the covers. “I asked her to stay in town at least till the end of the week.”

“Ok,” Felicity looked at him as she lay back on her pillows with her arms at her side outside the covers. “How come?”

Oliver also got under the comforter and sheet to make sure he could be as close to her as possible. He lay on his back and stretched his arm out toward her, inviting her to try and get comfortable on his shoulder.

As Felicity accepted his request she scooted herself off her pillow and put her head onto his shoulder. Oliver helped her adjust the covers as she squirmed around making herself at home when she rested her cheek against his pectoral muscle and then wallowed slightly putting her head first against his collarbone and then back onto his shoulder.

“I just thought,” he continued as she decided on his shoulder as her resting place, “that Dals will probably ask what happens next. She knows you’re going to see Dr. Evans again this week. I was thinking we could talk to her together, again, about...you know, about…”

“My diagnosis?” Felicity asked.

“Yeah,” Oliver answered shortly but honestly, again not wanting to think about it.

Felicity took his hand and pulled it over her shoulder, letting it fall and rest between her breasts. Normally, in this position, Oliver would gently massage her right breast, tickle her nipple and sometimes get something much more intimate started. 

But today, as he let his hand rest against her sternum, they both thought about his daughter; a doctor’s appointment yet to be made; Oliver’s upcoming, potentially ex-wife; and the next time they could possibly be intimate without fear or guilt hanging over their heads.

* * *

**What If – Chapter 21**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a few moments to breathe before more chaos sets in. Thank you for reading and for sharing your thoughts and comments with me. I appreciate them!
> 
> Chapter 22 Tease:  
“If I have a lump-ectomy, assuming we’ve caught this early enough and it’s not progressed too far, then I might be able to have less potent treatments and maybe I won’t lose my hair,” she sniffled, purposefully trying to be frank and hold back more tears as she talked to him. "But if I need the full chemo or radiation, what do you think, do I go ahead and just shave my head, or take things as they go?”
> 
> Oliver stood over her, trying to make sense of what she was saying before he realized - her appointment with Dr. Evans was at 9:30 this morning. This was diagnosis day.


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Answers can be overwhelming, or relieving. Waiting on them can be hell. And the day you get those answers to what-could-be life-altering questions can be the most anxious times of your life. For Felicity and Oliver, today is that day...diagnosis day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for bearing with me to get to this point. I hope what is in this chapter actually portrays the emotions that I could feel Felicity and Oliver going through as they reached this stage. This chapter was hard to write and yet I could see each part of it playing out in my mind and felt it in my heart.
> 
> Warning: This chapter does contain sexual content.
> 
> I hope you'll take a moment after reading to let me know what you think.  
Thank You

** **

**Curved Reality:**

**What If – Chapter 22**

* * *

Oliver had woken up alone in Felicity’s bed for three mornings straight. The first one, the morning after her biopsy, he had found her on the couch flipping randomly through the channels on the television. 

She complained that after sleeping practically 20 hours and having people poking at her chest she was done with laying around, in bed, so she had moved to the couch and the 24 hour shopping channel around 4AM. 

Oliver had awaken an hour later made scrambled eggs and toast for her and joined her under a blanket on the couch making fun of the cutlery that was being offered for sale.

Morning number two Felicity had purposefully gotten out of bed at 6AM because both of them had slept through the night, most comfortable in each other’s arms, and she wanted to make breakfast for him.

Unlike her beloved television character, Lici did _not_ fail the omelets that she prepared. The smell of cooking ham, aka Canadian bacon, green peppers and mushrooms - courtesy of Oliver’s grocery shopping - pulled him out of the bed and into the kitchen. 

Felicity proudly scooped the omelet onto a plate and presented it to him at the bar where he took a delightful bite and then got up to give her a proud kiss for her cooking abilities.

“Hey, just because I don’t...normally cook,” Felicity happily accepted his kiss, “it doesn’t mean I can’t.”

They laughed and enjoyed breakfast together again.

Morning number three, however, when Oliver rolled out of bed at 6:30AM, he found Felicity sitting at the kitchen table pulling her hair back into a ponytail of sorts and looking back and forth between her laptop screen and a mirror. 

She had no makeup on and Oliver could easily tell that tears had been shed.

“Felicity? What’s going on?” he walked toward her in his shorts and t-shirt, running his hand through his hair as the sight of her was making him wake up more quickly than he really wanted.

“If I have a lump-ectomy, assuming we’ve caught this early enough and it’s not progressed too far, then I might be able to have less potent treatments and maybe I won’t lose my hair,” she sniffled, purposefully trying to be frank and hold back more tears as she talked to him.

“But if I need the full chemo or radiation, what do you think, do I go ahead and just shave my head, or take things as they go?”

Oliver stood over her, trying to make sense of what she was saying before he realized - her appointment with Dr. Evans was at 9:30 this morning. This was diagnosis day.

He put a hand on the laptop and pushed the screen down until it closed. “No more reading. No more self diagnosing. Lis, why didn’t you wake me up? I know you’re scared.”

Oliver knelt down beside her chair putting a hand on her thigh as she turned her face away from him. “Hey,” he waited several seconds before she gave in and turned her crying face back toward him. “I’m scared, too. I don’t know if I should say that or not, but I am.”

Felicity wanted to apologize to him. He was scared because of her. He was trying so hard to be her strength but he was scared too about this. Looking at his eyes, with worried tears forming in them, she couldn’t say a word.

The only thing she could think to do was reach her arms toward him and wrap her arms around his neck. As soon as his instinctively wrapped around her, Felicity’s floodgates opened and she sobbed against his neck and shoulder.

Oliver didn’t try to quiet her tears. He knew they needed to flow and he wouldn’t lie to her or hold back, he cried too. In just a few hours they would know if that marble sized invader was a life-altering evil, or something that had simply opened their eyes to the meaning of life, living and love.

“I don’t want to go,” Felicity finally spoke after nearly ten minutes of just letting out her fears and tears into his loving arms.

“Sweetheart,” Oliver started.

“No, you and mom, you go and talk to Dr. Evans and then come home and tell me what she says,” Felicity almost pleaded. She peeled her face away from his neck, put her hands on his cheeks and nodded. “You’ll help me understand whatever it is. And you’ll be more calm and more likely to really hear what she’s saying. So,” she used the back of her hand to try and wipe away the wetness under her eyes, “you and mom go. I’ll just stay here.” She nodded strongly while Oliver disagreed with a shake of his head.

“You can do this Felicity Smoak,” his voice was soft, a little clogged from his own tears, but firm with his words. “You are strong enough to handle this. And you won’t be alone. Donna and I will be right in that office with you. All three of us are going to listen to Dr. Evans and we will help you figure out what needs to happen next.”

Felicity shook her head, not wanting to face today’s truth.

“You remember when we first went up to the room at the b and b in Portugal?” Oliver pushed some strands of hair behind her ear. She dropped her hands into her lap and dropped her gaze to look at them. “You told me you were going to take care of this. You said you would handle it and I argued with you, didn’t I?”

Felicity nodded, remembering the emotional time and how this man had come to her side.

“Today is the day that you need to handle. One day at a time. This day… Lici, this day is scary. But you can handle it. We battle this together. I know it’s your body that we’re talking about here, but we battle this together. I’m not going anywhere. Donna will be right by our side. And you know there are a dozen others who will be right by your side if we say the word. That includes Dali. My girl is your girl. She loves you. You know that, right?”

_Damn it. He had to bring up Dali._ Felicity’s tears began again. And again she shook her head.

“I don’t think I can do it Oliver. I...I change my mind. I’ll call Dr. Evans office and we’ll move the appointment. I can’t do it today. Let’s go get Dali and spend the day. Let’s go to the zoo or have a picnic and just spend the day together, please,” she requested with the fresh round of tears moving down her face.

Oliver shook his head. “No, Sweetheart, I’m sorry, but today is the day.”

“C’mon,” Oliver stood up beside her and took her hands. “Let’s get you into a shower. You’ll feel better after you freshen up. Think positive, remember? There isn’t just one possibility here. There are several other possibilities besides...cancer.”

Felicity took a deep breath trying to make her crying stop. Shakily she stood up from the chair and accepted his idea of getting cleaned up. But as they got into the bedroom and Oliver went to the dresser to gather her undergarments, Felicity put a hand on his bicep.

“Will you,” she looked and pointed a little weakly toward the bathroom, “with...with me, please?”

Oliver looked at her first with a questioning gaze until the understanding set in. “Are you sure?” he wondered, looking at her softly. 

Felicity nodded. “I don’t want to be by myself right now. Oliver, I need you.” Her lip quivered again as she made the request.

He pressed his lips together and nodded. He wasn’t sure if showering with her was the best idea or not but he also didn’t want to leave her alone. So without another thought about clothing or what would happen in the later hours of the morning, the two of them stepped into the bathroom together.

\-----

Felicity looked at him shyly, her eyes red from her tears, but she reached for his shirt with no question about what she actually wanted to happen in this little bit of time they had alone together.

When Oliver was undressed he easily helped her remove his over-sized shirt from her body along with her underwear as they let the water of the shower heat up for them. Before they stepped under the gentle spray, he bent to kiss her and appreciated the hunger that she displayed, both knowing this could potentially be their last opportunity to truly be together.

Their kiss continued as Oliver stepped into the shower and held her hands, unwilling to let their lips part. Felicity turned them to let the water first douse over Oliver’s neck and chest. She pushed him farther under the droplets and tiptoed, deepening the kiss with her insistent tongue and her body pressed purposefully against him.

Her hair was soaked and the stream washed away the tear stains on her cheeks. Still Oliver put his hands on her cheeks and held her steady as he also began to give in to his desires. Both of them had denied one another the pleasure of making love because of the pure uncertainty of the situation. This morning, all of those thoughts washed down the drain.

The one reminder happened when Felicity’s back pressed against the cool wall of their enclosed space. Oliver’s hands moved on their own accord, touching various parts of her body that he knew she enjoyed. His mouth followed suit, his lips and tongue easily finding their way down her neck to her collarbone bringing her first moan of pleasure that he had missed for far too long.

His hands immediately moved to her breasts, stroking the undersides before his larger hands took each mound, letting his palms graze against her nipples. 

The moment Felicity sucked in a breath and held it, he realized what had happened. He pulled away momentarily and their eyes met. Oliver’s gaze moved to her right breast and the scratch that remained from her biopsy. Without a word, Felicity reached for his hands and replaced them on her breasts, begging him to continue.

“I love you,” Oliver whispered into her ear. Felicity responded by moving her hands over his water-slicked chest and directly down to his erection. She stroked and tugged at him, loving the sounds that came from the depths of his throat.

In return, he moved until his lips could replace his hands, first taking her right nipple into his mouth and moving his tongue around it until she could do nothing more than put her hands on his shoulders and hold on. When his lips moved over the area of the lump he ignored it, kissing and licking until her breaths were short and her mewls were so high pitched that he knew both of them were ready to find their peaks.

He pressed her firmly against the wall, the hot water beating against his back. Each of them opened their eyes. Felicity looked up into his face, feeling him press his hardness against her belly. She didn’t break eye contact as she again wrapped her hand around his engorged penis, stroked him firmly and then stretched him forward toward her slick heat.

Oliver grasped her left thigh and lifted her leg until it wrapped around his hip bone. He kissed her once more before the two of them aligned and he pressed himself slowly, completely inside of her.

Felicity’s intake of air spurred him on as he began bending his knees and pumping, pressing her more tightly against the wet wall as he aimed for the deepest, tightest area of her heat. Her moans grew louder with each stroke and were music to his ears. 

“Let go Felicity,” he pressed himself completely inside of her and stalled there as he whispered into her ear. “Let it all go, right now. I promise you we will make love like this again, and again. You are mine. That’s all...you need...to think about right now…”

He found a way to press just that one bit farther and felt her body respond, moving against him as though she wanted to wrap her entire being around him. And in the next moment, her body shook in an orgasm that milked him to a release that left his entire body weak.

Oliver somehow held them both until they melted slowly to the floor of the shower trying to catch their breaths as their lips continued searching for each other and their voices began sharing words of love and encouragement in the afterglow.

They laughed as their legs began to regain strength. Oliver stood first and helped Felicity to her feet.

“Are you okay?” he asked and she smiled easily at him.

“More than,” she nodded and tiptoed again to kiss his lips. 

She grabbed the shampoo from the shelf behind him and offered to run her fingers through his hair. Oliver bent his head forward, easily letting her work the lather through his short tresses. 

When he let the water rinse the suds away he looked back at Felicity and smiled. He took her hands in his and pulled her back against him. He kissed her solidly without either of their bodies reheating. He looked at her closed eyes when he pulled away and put his hands on her hips.

“Together,” he watched as she opened her eyes at his single word. “Today and tomorrow and however long you will have me, okay?”

Felicity pressed her lips together and nodded. “Okay.”

\-----

When they met Donna at the doctor’s office at 9AM, Felicity was quiet, but settled. When her mother asked if she was alright, she put her hand into Oliver’s and squeezed.

“Yeah,” Felicity answered her mom who easily noticed their joined hands.

Oliver kept hold of Felicity’s hand but stepped around her slightly to place a kiss against Donna’s cheek. Donna looked at him a little skeptically. “Oliver, are you okay?”

“I will be,” he answered.

The three of them found chairs together in the waiting room and just sat. Donna was slightly worried because neither of her ‘kids’ was saying anything.

“Are you two sure, you’re okay?” Donna had to ask.

Felicity smiled and reached for her mom’s hand. “I’m scared,” she admitted quietly but without tears.

Oliver and Donna both squeezed her hands with Oliver raising his to kiss her knuckles.

“It’s understandable, Sweetheart,” Donna consoled her. “I’m scared for you, but we still can’t think the worst. Right?”

Felicity let out a slight laugh. “That’s easily said. I was doing okay with it till this morning, but the worst kinda hit me again.”

Donna looked at her daughter. “I’m sorry,” she offered and Felicity shook her head.

“Don’t be,” Felicity smiled at her mom. “I just needed to be reminded that the worst isn’t the only option, and that I’m not by myself.”

Donna looked at Oliver who was still holding Felicity’s hand against his lips. Felicity’s mom could tell his emotions were bouncing around by his lack of verbal input. She trusted he had handled those reminders that her daughter had just mentioned. She trusted that Oliver was still trying to supply the strength that Felicity currently lacked.

Before she could ask anything else, the three of them looked up to see Dr. Evans herself standing in the doorway.

“Felicity?” the doctor smiled, with a file folder and an electronic tablet in her hand.

Oliver stood up first and looked at the doctor. “We’re coming back with her,” he said protectively.

Dr. Evans nodded, “Of course. Whatever or whoever Felicity is comfortable with. I don’t mind.”

Oliver nodded his agreement and then helped Felicity to her feet and reached for Donna’s hand to help her up as well. They followed the doctor to her office where she sat down behind the large wooden desk.

Felicity took the center seat in front of the desk with Oliver and Donna flanking her on either side. All of them took deep breaths and then looked at the doctor, waiting anxiously.

Dr. Evans looked each one of them in the eyes and then focused solely on Felicity.

“Ms. Felicity, I have relatively good news for you,” she smiled softly.

Felicity pressed her lips together still waiting, so the doctor continued. 

“First and foremost, this lump is not cancer.”

“Oh, thank God,” Felicity let out a long breath, grabbed her mother’s hand and then turned her face toward Oliver and pressed her lips to his shoulder. “Thank God,”

Oliver felt tears running down his cheeks. He didn’t hesitate to press his lips through her hair and held them against her scalp. She could feel the drops of wetness coming off his face and pulled away enough to look up at him. 

Oliver took the chance to put his hands on her cheeks and pressed a kiss directly to her lips. He couldn’t think of words to say but kissing the woman he loved seemed completely appropriate to him in that moment.

Felicity laughed against his lips after a few seconds, feeling again the emotions they had shared earlier in the morning.

“If it’s not cancer,” Donna dared to ask, breaking out of the bubble that Oliver and Felicity had apparently formed, “what is this?”

Dr. Evans nodded. When all three sets of eyes were back on her she continued.

“What you have is called a fibroadenoma. That’s a big word that just means a fibrous tumor that is _not_ cancerous.”

“Fibro...ad...uh...noma,” Felicity wrapped her lips around the word, sounding it out the way Dr. Evans had said it. “I don’t remember...was this in the brochures? I don’t recall reading about this. Is...is a fibroadenoma...is it a rare kind of thing?” she wondered with some worry still running through her.

Dr. Evans shook her head. “No. Actually, there are hundreds of thousands of cases of this found in _young _women every year. We can’t point out a cause, but hormones could play a role. Your body could be reacting to your birth control and hormonal changes. But there’s really not a firm answer.”

“But she’s had an I.U.D. for years,” Oliver stepped into the conversation, trying to understand.

“Well, that’s the thing,” Dr. Evans didn’t hesitate to answer him. “This tumor could’ve been forming for years now. Some women have fibroadenomas that are never found because either they are deep inside the breast or they just stay so small that women can’t feel them. Sometimes they are caught on mammograms but not always.”

The doctor turned her focus back to Felicity who was sitting quietly, listening and thinking about everything and nothing at all.

“You, Ms. Felicity, were blessed with this mass that was big enough that you noticed it. But, it put you through a scare that no woman wants to face. However, you need to know, this diagnosis is based on what we saw on your original mammogram, the ultrasound mammogram, and confirmed through the biopsy that we did. It _is_ non-cancerous, so don’t play the ‘what if the test was wrong’ game, okay. This diagnosis is confirmed and you are going to be just fine.

"Thank you," Felicity breathed in and out a few times as all eyes focused on her. She licked her lips and looked at the doctor. A few tears, happy tears finally escaped. She squeezed her mother’s hand, Oliver’s hand, turned and placed a kiss on Donna’s cheek and then turned toward Oliver.

“I’m gonna be okay,” she smiled at him tearfully. His look matched hers, tears and all. 

Without another word, Felicity got up, sat herself down in Oliver’s lap, wrapped one arm around his neck and placed her other hand on his cheek. She looked directly into his eyes and kissed him deeply, in front of her mother and her doctor. 

“I love you,” she spoke softly, making sure he heard her.

When she turned back toward the doctor she didn’t move from Oliver’s lap and he wasn’t going to let her. His hands bracketed her thighs, holding her in place as though it was the most natural placement in the world.

“Dr. Evans,” Felicity looked at the doctor and at Donna, “is there a treatment, for this fibroadenoma?” She said the word again just to get familiar with it.

The good doctor nodded at her. “Let’s discuss those, then you go home and let this all settle in. And when you know what you want to do, you call me back and we will figure out the next step. How does that sound?”

Felicity, Oliver and Donna all nodded at Dr. Evans. They had results. Felicity had a diagnosis. And she had an answer: she was going to be okay.

* * *

**What If – Chapter 22**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And 3...2...1... let out that collective sigh of relief! Felicity is strong and with Oliver and her mother by her side she is even stronger. She has her answer and will find a way to move forward!
> 
> But... is Oliver ready for her to move forward or has he become accustomed to standing pat with their situation as it is? Stay tuned!
> 
> Chapter 23 Tease:  
“I don’t want you to go to New York.” There, he had said it. He knew the simple sentence would have repercussions, but that was the true reason for his broodiness. “I know this is what you were working toward and it's what you want. I know that. But it doesn’t change the fact that I don’t want you to go. I don’t think what’s best for us is you being a country away.”


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Miscommunication brings them back to square one.
> 
> Back to Felicity's apartment, somewhere in Vancouver where recovery and recuperation are going well...

** **

**Curved Reality:**

**What If – Chapter 23**

* * *

“Woo!” Felicity exclaimed with her favorite word as she came out of the bedroom and ended her phone call. She looked toward Oliver who appeared to be on the couch brooding.

“Dr. Evans says she has contacted a friend of hers in New York who is also an Ob/Gyn. I can do my four week followup with her and if things are still going as well as they are now, I can probably be completely cleared!” She plopped herself down on the couch where Oliver had yet to even acknowledge that he was listening to her. He was staring blankly at the television.

“So,” Felicity continued, almost ignoring him and his attitude, “I need to call Leslie and see if she can still get that apartment for me in the same building where she’s staying and I need to find out from Patrick if he needs any input on the set design…” she began looking through her contacts for her friends’ numbers.

The past week had been lessons in physical healing and domesticity for Oliver and Felicity. The massive amount of relief that both of them felt following her surgery to remove the fibroadenoma was enlightening. She spent one night in the hospital for observation following the lumpectomy of sorts but then at home Oliver helped her over the next couple of days as Felicity got back on her feet.

It had been nice. Shared conversations, eating meals together and just being together without the weight of pending doom over their head was what each of them needed. Both thought they were on the same page until Felicity’s plans again turned toward the play...in New York.

Oliver took a quick breath and pushed himself up off the couch. “That’s great,” he offered in response and Felicity looked up at him.

“What’s wrong?” she wondered, now giving him a little bit of the attitude he was making her feel.

“Nothing,” he shook his head, not looking at her as he walked toward the kitchen. “Everything’s great.”

“Oliver,” Felicity watched him and sighed. “Don’t lie to me. You’re pissed off about something, what is it?”

He grabbed a bottle of water from the refrigerator, opened it, took a long drink and then turned around and sat the bottle down on the counter. He looked back toward the living room at Felicity’s face. “You had surgery a week ago,” he breathed in deeply battling some inner demons that had decided to rear their ugly heads as soon as the lump was out of Felicity’s body and she had recovered well enough to start talking about _New York_ again.

“I just don’t think it’s a good idea for you to be all the way across the country...in another country...if there is some kind of complication,” he thought his explanation sounded good.

“Which is why I’m getting Dr. Evans’ input,” Felicity said. “I’m telling you she is fine with this. That’s why she’s putting me in touch with her friend. This other doctor will have access to my files and will know what’s going on. But I’m healing just fine. I’ll go back to Dr. Evans next week, but the incision is healing just fine. I don’t even think there will be a scar,” Felicity opened the neck of her t-shirt and peered down at her breast.

The one thing she had really used her surgery as an excuse for was bra-wearing. She hated them anyway so the past couple of weeks without them had been pure freedom in her mind.

“I don’t like it,” Oliver shook his head and pouted.

“What’s the problem?” Felicity put her phone down and walked over to the opposite side of the counter. She leaned against it, took his bottle of water, took her own drink from it and then focused again on him. “It’s not a medical issue, is it?” She tilted her head and watched closely for his reaction.

Oliver stood still and silent, and wouldn’t make eye contact with her.

“Would you talk to me, please?” Felicity finally raised her voice and stood up straighter trying to catch his gaze.

“I don’t want you to go to New York.” There, he had said it. He knew the simple sentence would have repercussions, but that was the true reason for his broodiness. “I know this is what you were working toward and it's what you want. I know that. But it doesn’t change the fact that I don’t want you to go. I don’t think what’s best for _us_ is you being a country away.”

He kept his voice calm, even when he saw her roll her eyes.

“How many times are we going to have this argument, Oliver?!” Felicity rolled her neck around. They hadn’t had a full out argument about it since before she was diagnosed but there had been hints of one brewing. She figured this might be the time for it to blow up.

“I just thought that once you saw that I am here for you, that I am working to be _with you…_” Oliver held his hand out toward her, “you would change your mind about going away...now. I thought Dr. Evans would be more adamant about you sticking around until she clears you.”

“What difference is two weeks going to make, Oliver?” Felicity threw her hands up in the air. “I’m a big girl. I can take my medicines and check the incision. I know to call the doctor if something doesn’t feel right. I’m not going to take a step backwards on this now that I’ve come this far. The lump is out of me, and I’m ready to move forward. Why do you not see that? If I don’t go to New York at the end of next week...if I wait for Dr. Evans to clear me after four weeks, I’m still going to go. Two weeks aren’t going to change my mind.”

Oliver moved back into brooding mode.

“By the way,” Felicity calmed her voice but braced herself for the discussion she was getting ready to pursue. “Speaking of you working to be with me and _us… _what progress have you made on getting your divorce from Laurel?”

She hated the thought of asking about this. As much as she wanted Oliver to do it, to make the path for them to really be together, she did not want to be _that_ woman that dogged her married partner to leave his wife and family. 

That’s why she had tried to get away from him in the first place.

She was only asking him about it because _he_ said that’s what was going to happen. 

Oliver blinked and stayed silent.

“Laurel and Dali are back in Los Angeles. Laurel has already spoken to her lawyer about it. Have you?” Felicity wondered, pushing him a little further.

“How do you know that?” Oliver asked in a calm voice. Felicity knew that voice. He was perturbed that she knew something he didn’t, especially about his own...family.

“Sara called me yesterday. She had been with Laurel and Dali and Laurel told her she had talked to her attorney. She expected your guy would’ve contacted hers by now. Apparently he hasn’t.” Felicity watched Oliver walk out of the kitchen and head toward the bedroom.

“Oliver, don’t walk away from me. What’s the deal on this? Are you stringing me along...again?” She wondered, hating every word as it came out of her mouth.

“I’ve been a little preoccupied,” he turned around and looked at her without more of an explanation.

“Preoccupied with me,” Felicity put her hands on her hips. “That’s fine. I can be your excuse up until my first followup with Dr. Evans. I will let you use me as your excuse from the point you came home from Spain - after telling Laurel you wanted a separation - to the argument we had in the car after my first mammogram when you told us both that you would file for a separation at the least. I’ll even let you use me as an excuse while I was zonked out on pain killers the two days after they took that _thing_ out of me.”

Oliver put his hands on his head. He knew where she was going with this. “So it was wrong of me to want to spend every minute I could with you, being thankful that your scare wasn’t something worse?”

“No.” Felicity shook her head. “You know what I’m saying, Oliver. You’ve had time and time and time to make a call to your lawyer. A phone call… that’s all I’m saying. That’s all it takes to get paperwork in the works or to set up an appointment. You’ve known I was going to head to New York. You could’ve made an appointment for the first week or so that I’m gonna be gone. But you haven’t even _called_ them.” She turned her back on him and pressed her lips together.

“Look,” she knew by his silence that she had hit a nerve and was about to sever it if she kept going. “I need to book my flight. I’m heading to New York after my appointment next Friday. You can stay here in Vancouver and keep telling yourself that you’re going to divorce Laurel. Or you can go to L.A. before your shooting schedule takes over again and make something happen.”

“Is there some ultimatum hidden in there, Felicity?” Oliver finally spoke up wondering what she was trying to tell him. “Either way you’re going to be in New York. Whether I stay here or fly down to California, you’re still not going to be here when I get back, am I right?”

Felicity took a deep breath. She was suddenly afraid of the turn this conversation was taking. “Are you trying to tell me that me going to New York will make a difference in whether or not you file for a divorce?”

“No,” Oliver answered her, “But, why should I rush into it if you aren’t going to be around?” _Damn it that was not what he wanted to say to her. _

He paused. He couldn't see her face but he could imagine the hurt. Oliver took a deep breath. When she gave him no verbal response he softened his tone. “Felicity, can we just take a few minutes, stop this conversation before one of us says something that we’ll both regret, please,” he attempted knowing some of the words had already come out.

She finally turned around and looked at him with tears in her eyes. “I’ve believed you when you said you were leaving Laurel. The idea that maybe you and I could be together is one of the main reasons I got through this past month. Because I finally believed that you loved me enough to make that break. Now...now I’m finding out that you haven’t even made a simple phone call - and you’re blaming that on me…”

“That’s not-” Oliver took a step toward her. “You don’t know the whole story, Lis, okay?”

Felicity shook her head and put her hand up, telling him not to come any closer. “Laurel and Dali are back in L.A. Your Vancouver apartment is empty right now. Why don’t you go over there and get comfortable. I need to get things ready to kind of close up this place after next week so I’ve got some packing to do and phone calls to make. I will let you know when my flight is once I’ve got the specifics. When you decide to go down to L.A., give Dali a hug for me please and tell her I love her. I’ll send her some videos of Ollie in New York, okay?”

“What are you saying?” Oliver stared at her, truly not sure he was hearing her words correctly. 

Felicity bit on her lip hard enough that she could taste a hint of blood. What _was _she saying to this man that she professed to love? She believed he loved her. She didn’t doubt it. But time after time she had gotten her hopes up about him leaving his wife and yet here they stood with him still married. 

“I guess,” she began to cry as she looked him up and down, “I’m tired of empty promises. So if your divorce ever comes through,” her voice cut like a knife into his heart, “I’ll be in New York. At least for a while. That’s where you can find me…”

“Felicity, no,” Oliver tried to step toward her one more time and she wrapped her arms around herself.

“I need you to go, please,” she choked out the one line before somehow brushing past him into her bedroom and closing the door.

“Felicity,” he tried, putting his forehead against the door but he knew she wouldn’t answer.

She was right and he knew it. He had wasted precious time in this quest of getting a divorce. If he had called his attorney sooner, maybe the wheels could’ve been set in motion before…

He looked at his phone, went to the page of texts that he had traded with his attorney, Jonathan Arnold. The first had been sent the day after Oliver and Dali had arrived back in Vancouver from Spain. Mr. Arnold had responded that he was sorry to hear about the Queen’s ‘recent’ marital problems. It seemed the lawyer was dealing with some issues of his own, his wife undergoing treatments for...breast cancer.

The messages had hit home with Oliver. Of course, paperwork for a separation or divorce could be put off. What harm would there be if his marriage to Laurel continued for a few more months. What was more important was for Mr. Arnold’s wife to win her fight over that beast of a disease.

Oliver had been back in touch with the man a couple more times over the past few weeks...to check on his wife’s recuperation. The good news was that she was currently cancer free, even if she was losing her hair. Oliver had returned that news with two large thumbs up along with encouraging words.

His attorney would be back in his Los Angeles office in four weeks...Oliver had figured that would be about the time Felicity would be released from her doctor visits. That was when he would go to L.A. and get all of the legal ease taken care of to end his marriage. 

Once Felicity was cleared, he would be as well.

Perhaps he should’ve shared that information with her sooner. Now, she sat behind a locked door and he had instructions to leave. 

“Felicity, I love you. Please don’t ask me to go,” he tried one more time.

He easily figured out that she was sitting on the floor just inside the door because that’s where he heard her voice when she responded. “Oliver, I love you, too, but you’re going to have to go. Because I’m already gone.”

He stepped toward her couch, braced his hands against the back of the furniture, lowered his head and let his tears fall. 

Oliver knew Felicity needed to go to New York. There had been no reason for him to get pouty or angry about it. The fact that she wanted to go two weeks earlier than he thought she should, or would, should’ve made no difference. 

Instead, he now realized, it made all the difference in his world.

* * *

**What If – Chapter 23**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't hate me...but can't you see this happening? (It's fine...you can leave angry comments for me, just don't be too harsh, please!)
> 
> Chapter 24 Tease:  
“I knew he was here. He promised me he would see the play and he did. Enough said,” Felicity tried to end the conversation there.
> 
> “No,” Sara looked at her like an overbearing big sister. “Not enough said,” she continued. “Why are neither one of you talking about this. Why are neither of you talking?”
> 
> “Felicity, that man…” Ray had to stop and calm himself in order to keep his voice low, “That man...saw you through one of the scariest situations you have ever faced. And when you came through it, he was willing to watch you walk away from him. Can I admit to you, I’ve been in Oliver’s shoes. You have walked away from me and I can tell you, it sucks. It fucking sucks.”


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another round of truth-telling, doors opening and opportunities...
> 
> We pick things up about 2 months later, somewhere in Soho...

** **

**Curved Reality:**

**What If – Chapter 24**

* * *

_**Two months later...**_

Felicity couldn’t believe her New York adventure was almost done. Nearly two months after leaving Vancouver and heading east, she was now thinking about wrapping things up. There was just one more week on the play’s schedule. The past two months had dragged in some ways but flown by in others.

She had asked her friends and family to give her a bit to get acclimated to the job change. That was also an excuse to avoid face to face discussions about her somewhat abrupt exit and whatever was happening with..._Oliver_.

She was healed, physically. The 2 inch scar on her breast was still visible but was getting fainter with each day. It was still a reminder of her ordeal and the man who continued to occupy her mind and heart.

They had talked to each other, via text, at least once a week and once on the phone since she left. He had fulfilled his promise to see her play. She was happy that he, like her other friends, had waited until the past couple of weeks to trek to New York. The time and distance had probably given her the ability to keep her composure while he was there.

She had recognized his tearful face in the audience and wanted to jump off the stage into his arms. Oliver hadn’t told Felicity when he was going to be there. After the way she left Vancouver she wasn't even sure he _would_ come to see the play. So it was a complete surprise. Her heart had pumped so strongly when she saw his face that she figured he could see it through the thin shirt she was wearing.

But they didn’t even talk. Instead, once she left the stage, they had again shared electronically written messages.

It had hurt. Seeing him and not getting the opportunity to even say ‘hello’ but she understood. Felicity was _happy _that their friends had attended the next few performances to take her mind off the emptiness his limited presence had left behind.

She wondered if the staggered visits had been planned...

Especially when she learned these next few days would be spent with a couple of special friends who had seen her play on this particular night. She was a little nervous about having Ray and Sara in town, but she loved them both and cherished her time with them. But their timing...the two of _them _coming to town together...was a little curious.

Ray and Sara had each promised Felicity that they would come to see her before the play ended. 

They had also made the same promise to Oliver.

All those thoughts went through her mind as the three friends got seated at the restaurant. Felicity nibbled at the appetizers on the table and sipped her water as she listened to her friends embellish her with compliments about her on-stage abilities.

“Sweetheart, you were remarkable!” Sara reached across and put her hand on top of Felicity’s. “When you were on that couch with the pregnancy tests in your hands...I swear I thought they were pills. I thought you had tried to o.d. I was in tears, Honey, absolute tears,” the darker skinned woman confessed.

Ray nodded. “All the way through, Lici, you were amazing. You, Patrick and Leslie, the three of you are a hell of a trio. Bringing this baby from Vancouver to New York, incredible! And the crowd’s reaction - a standing ovation - well deserved. More than well deserved.”

Both of her friend’s watched Felicity’s face, not really reacting at all to what they were saying. She seemed to be in her own little world and that world was nowhere near the restaurant where they were seated.

“Felicity?” Sara looked at her closely and squeezed her hand before pulling her own fingers back across the table.

“Hmm?” Felicity finally met her friend’s eyes and offered a soft smile.

“Are you okay?” Sara asked her honestly.

“Yeah,” Felicity nodded a little too strongly. “Of course, I’m fine, why?”

Ray chimed in, “Because the minute you finished smiling for a selfie with a fan and walked over to us you went into Felicity-land.”

“What are you talking about?” Felicity scoffed. “I’m just coming down from the show. How about that, huh, a standing ovation. Pretty cool, yeah?”

Ray and Sara looked at each other and then back at Felicity.

“Oliver said it was a standing ovation last week when he saw the play as well,” Ray dared to be the one to bring up his name.

“I know,” Felicity said a little too quickly. 

“But,” Ray started before Felicity interrupted him.

“I knew he was here. He promised me he would see the play and he did. Enough said,” she tried to end the conversation there.

“No,” Sara looked at her like an overbearing big sister. “Not enough said,” she continued. “Why are neither one of you talking about this. Why are neither of you _talking?”_

“I texted him when I got back to my dressing room. I asked him if he wanted to go have a drink once I wrapped up with autographs and stuff. He said he had an early morning flight…”

Felicity shook her head and looked up at a waiter who was bringing their drinks. She again took a slow drink of her water as each of them placed their orders and then sat back in their seats.

“Lis, you left Vancouver on a fight. You didn’t even let him go to your appointment with you and you got on a plane and left without even seeing him or saying goodbye. What - The - Hell?” Ray lowered his voice but pointedly asked the last portion of his question.

“I really don’t think this is the best place to even start talking about this, do you?” Felicity looked at them both with eyes slightly hardened and a tired face.

“Are you going to talk about this when we get back to your apartment?” Sara wondered?

Felicity shook her head. “There’s nothing to talk about.”

“Like hell there isn’t,” again Ray spoke against her. “Felicity, that man…” he had to stop and calm himself in order to keep his voice low, “That man...saw you through one of the scariest situations you have ever faced. And when you came through it, he was willing to watch you walk away from him. Can I admit to you, I’ve kinda been in Oliver’s shoes. But you have walked away from me and right back into his arms. I can tell you, it sucks. It _fucking_ sucks.”

Felicity could tell Ray was gritting his teeth as he talked to her. She wanted to retaliate but when his eyes met hers and she saw a piercing darkness there, she kept her mouth shut.

“You and I have been friends for decades now, Felicity," Ray pressed on. "And the past ten years I have watched you fall in love with Oliver Queen. I watched you try to leave him when you decided to leave the show and no matter where you turned, where _we _turned, he was there. And when you found that lump and were scared out of your mind, he came to you and he stayed with you. He loves you and_ you love him_. So after those two months, why did you walk away from him? Now it’s been another two months and the two of you aren’t even speaking. What do you want from him? What the hell happened?” Ray finished.

“What do I _want _from him?” Felicity looked at Ray and then at Sara, knowing she had a close relationship with Oliver’s _wife_. “I _want_ him. I wanted him to get a divorce so maybe we could be together. And I finally got the balls to tell him that before I left. You know, I’ve sat back for how many years now and kept my mouth shut? After all my tests and my surgery I thought about how my life is shaping up. And I decided, _if_ he really loved me then I should be able to press the divorce issue. _If_ he loved me why was it taking so long for him to make that call? That’s a valid question, isn’t it?”

She looked at their questioning faces. “But he didn’t have an answer. He hadn’t even made a call. A month we were together day in and day out and he couldn’t take 10 minutes to call his lawyer to get things in order. So _what the hell happened_? I guess it’s the same thing that’s been happening for the past few years. We profess our love for each other, he says he’s going to leave her, but this time I chose to question that.”

“Felicity,” Sara’s face was particularly confused as she listened to her disheartened friend. “Oliver’s divorce is finalized. Laurel got the signed paperwork last week. Oliver knew it was all done _before _he came to see the play.”

Felicity breathed in and out slowly, trying to understand what Sara was telling her. 

With Felicity’s silence, Sara continued, “I thought Oliver said the two of you had been chatting after you left. He said you told him the play was going well...but you told him not to come out here after the fire at the theater. He was freaked out and wanted to come check on you.”

“He’s been freaked out since you left. You know he’s worried sick about you, period,” Ray added, knowing just a little more than Sara did about the situation.

Felicity stared down at the silverware on the table. “Oliver and I have exchanged a couple of text messages a week since I left. They basically consist of him saying _‘It sounds like the play is doing well. I love you.’ _and I respond with _‘It is, thank you. I love you, too.’_

Sara and Ray waited for her to say more.

“That’s it?” Ray wondered suspiciously after a long moment

“I _thought_,” Felicity shook her head. “I kept waiting for him to say more. The week before I left I waited for him to come back but all I got were texts. I figured he was busy figuring out things with Dali and his shooting schedule. I figured I had overstepped my bounds making him leave. The morning I flew out he left me a voicemail saying he would miss me and would come over to see the play but he wasn’t sure when.”

“But he called you...at least he said he did...when the fire happened,” Sara shook her head.

“He did,” Felicity nodded, suddenly starting to feel a wave of emotions that she had suppressed for nearly two months. “He called me at 7:00AM the day after the fire. He asked if I needed him to come to New York. I snapped at him. We hadn’t talked in weeks. I told him I was fine and there was no need for him to worry about me.”

Ray noticed the waiver of her voice. “He wanted to come to you.”

“How was I supposed to know, Ray?” Felicity raised her guard again. “Never once did he tell me his divorce was in progress or that he had even talked to his attorney. Not a single word about it. How was I supposed to know? We’ve been through the whole overprotective Oliver spiel a hundred times in the last year. I’ve fallen for it and...and...his empty promises every time. Why would this be any different?”

“Didn’t he tell you that he tried to get his divorce started as soon as he came back from Spain? One of the reasons he brought Dali and stayed at Moira’s house was because he was going to meet with Mr. Arnold and figure out what he could do to make sure his relationship with you did _not_ cost him time with Dali. Especially with what you were facing, he didn’t want you to have any fears about that.”

Felicity’s eyebrows dipped lower on her forehead. “He never told me that. He never even mentioned…”

“Because…” Ray pressed his lips together before deciding to share Oliver’s information with her. “When Oliver talked to Mr. Arnold the first time, the man told him that he was taking time away from his practice because his wife had _breast cancer_.”

Felicity sucked in a long breath.

“Oliver didn’t want to tell you about that, obviously, because of your situation. But he knew he wanted Mr. Arnold to handle the divorce because he trusts his discretion and knew he would work to find the best solution for Dali. So Oliver decided to wait it out.”

“Why didn’t he tell _me _any of this?” Felicity finally asked through an emotional voice. “How do _you_ know all this?” she was slightly angry with that portion of her question.

“The day you left, Felicity, do you remember? You landed in New York and you texted me from the plane asking me to check on Oliver. Do you recall that?” Ray had been more than surprised by the text. 

He knew they had argued. He knew the day that Felicity sent Oliver away. He hadn’t understood, but much like Oliver he had asked Felicity what he could do to help her but she had withdrawn into her shell and simply told him she would let him know if there was anything. From her message he assumed checking on Oliver would help her. So he had.

“Oliver laughed when I called him out of the blue and asked him to meet me for a drink after work. His daughter was in L.A. and his _girl_ was in New York. I toyed with his emotions and told him we should hang out like bachelors. He agreed. Much to my surprise, he agreed.”

Felicity shrugged her shoulders waiting for more.

“He had already had a couple of vodka shots by the time I got to the bar,” Ray nodded.

“Oh God,” Felicity commented.

“He started, in no uncertain terms, by saying that if I told you one _fucking_ word,” Ray used air quotes to show he was using Oliver’s words, “of what he was going to tell me, that he would cut my balls off and feed them to me,” Ray sighed and nodded as he remembered. “The look in his eyes, the mood he was in at that time, I believed him fully.”

Felicity shook her head, not wanting to believe that Oliver had kept all of this to himself, allowed her to leave Vancouver without knowing any of it and had not said one word that could have saved both of them at least some heartache since she left.

“I saw the messages from his attorney, Felicity. The guy told Oliver he would be back in the office the week you were slated to come to New York. Oliver said he was going to send you off with the info that he was meeting to set things in motion. Instead...you decided to leave two weeks earlier and he was torn. He decided, just in case Mr. Arnold had complications, or in case you did, he would just keep it to himself. And once you left it was just easier for him not to call or really contact you because Oliver wasn’t sure he could handle it.”

Sara sat back listening to Ray’s entire story. She watched Felicity as their friend pressed her lips together, obviously fighting tears and then Felicity put a single palm over her lips and closed her eyes.

“Why didn’t _you _call him?” Ray wondered.

Felicity shook her head. “I...I just… I couldn’t,” the first tears fell before she could even attempt to catch them. “I told him I was already gone and I had to stick to that. I...I had to.”

Her friends each gave Felicity a moment to process the full chapter of information they had just spelled out for her.

“They are still working out custody details,” Sara added as they kept their eyes on Felicity. “I only know because Laurel mentioned something about Dali starting school and she didn’t know how that would work with Oliver being in Canada until Christmas time. And Dali asked if you and the stuffed animal would still be in New York. She was hoping Oliver would bring her to New York to visit because of the videos you sent to her.”

“Stop, both of you...just...just shut up,” Felicity seriously spoke to both her friends. “Oliver was here last week and didn’t say a word about any of this. I asked to see him and he said ‘no’. I tried to get to a point that we could talk and he turned me down flat,” her voice raised slightly. “Why the hell would he not…”

“Because he’s not sure Felicity, about how you feel. He understands why you’re hurt and mad and why you made him leave. But I honestly think, if you love him and you want him in your life, then you’re going to have to make the move this time. And it’s going to have to be a _hell-of-a_ gesture.”

Felicity sat with tears still coming through her tear ducts. If they were right, if Oliver’s divorce was finalized and he was now waiting on her to make a move, what could she do?

Her mind was racing and she couldn’t even decipher a way to make it stop. She momentarily leaned her head back and put her hand over her eyes.

“Felicity?” Sara asked.

“I think I need to go,” Felicity responded quietly.

“What?” Ray wondered.

She sucked her bottom lip between her teeth as she thought and tried to calm herself. “I have a week left in the play. But I can’t concentrate now...not if what you’re telling me is true. I think… I think I need to go back to Vancouver. I need to talk to Oliver.” Felicity looked at her friends with a ‘help me’ kind of gaze.

Ray and Sara watched her cautiously at first. As her nerves began to calm and the reality began to set in, Felicity asked them both again to tell her the truth. _Was Oliver really divorced? He and Laurel were no longer married? Did he still love her or had she burned every bridge they had constructed between them over the past eight years?_

They answered each of her questions calmly and honestly. Sara felt slightly torn between her friendship with Laurel and sitting there helping Felicity consider exactly how she would present herself to Laurel’s now-ex husband. 

Ray was simply happy to see his best friend _feeling_ again instead of being numb, somewhat like her on-stage persona. If he could help her and her heart mend, yet again, he would. 

When the friends returned to Felicity’s apartment they were a little surprised at the amount of energy Felicity seemed to gain at the mere thought of a possible reconciliation with the man she truly loved. 

The next three hours, taking them into the wee hours of the morning, involved a lot of talking, a lot of tears and a phone call to a trusted friend in Vancouver who had a way of working miracles between Oliver and Felicity no matter what hurdles were in the way.

* * *

**What If – Chapter 24**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 25 Tease:  
“I’ve come to a conclusion that could affect both of our lives,” she began.
> 
> Oliver’s voice dropped an octave as they stared, unsmiling, at each other. “And that is?” 
> 
> Felicity blinked and sucked in a shaky breath. “I want to come back.”


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Coming home again can be filled with reunions and goodness and the best feelings you can imagine. Or they can be nerve-wracking, tense times as you try to get your feet on the ground. Felicity's return...how will Oliver react and what message will she bring to him?
> 
> A studio lot in Vancouver...

** **

**Curved Reality:**

**What If – Chapter 25**

* * *

She sat on the couch in the trailer feeling quite nervous, a little jittery, with thoughts of what she was going to say rolling through her mind – as they had been for the past 48 hours. When she and Ray had landed in Vancouver she made up her mind, for about the 50th time, she had to see Oliver that day. So before going back to her apartment, before doing anything else, she made her way to the studio.

One phone call was all it took and the moment Ray drove into the studio lot, a familiar face was opening Felicity’s door.

“It’s about _damn_ time,” John crossed his muscular arms across his burley chest and gave Felicity the most fatherly look he could muster.

She tried to match his mean demeanor but quickly twitched her nose and a grin began to form. “Mr. Diggle,” she reached up and put her hands on his cheeks, pulling his face down toward her so she could kiss his nose, “I’ve missed you.”

John accepted her kiss, wrapped his arms around her and picked her smaller body up off the ground as she squealed lightly. 

When he put her down he looked at her. “I’ve missed you, too. Sorry I didn’t tell you to pull your head outta your ass a little sooner.”

Felicity blushed slightly. “Was I being that stubborn, really?” 

John looked at her with a tilted gaze, “You’ve been around him for eight years now, Short-stuff. I’m pretty sure stubborn is just one of his traits that’s rubbed off on you.”

The two of them looked at each other and laughed. John then smiled softly at her. “You wanna fill me in now?” He questioned curiously.

Felicity took a deep breath. “Is he here?” She looked around the familiar setting.

“On set. They just started shooting a scene. You wanna go watch?” He offered to escort her into the building as Ray waved to the two of them and headed toward his own home.

“Can you get me into his trailer? I’d kinda just like to wait for him there,” she puffed air into her cheeks and then blew it out through her lips. “I need to go over my lines, ya know?” She tried to smile and John could easily recognize the nerves she was expressing.

Felicity and John had shared a few different conversations as she wrapped up her play and planned to come back home. He shared with her the struggle that Oliver was obviously having. John told her that Oliver wasn’t willing to talk about his lack of communication with Felicity, even after the divorce came through. 

The two men had talked work. 

Felicity as well hadn’t really delved into details about her separation from Oliver. The night she had called John from New York, with Ray and Sara in the room she had simply told him that she needed a ‘ship’s captain’s advice’. John understood what that involved and he accepted the speedy description of Felicity’s medical ordeal - since seeing John in London - and a simple explanation that she left Vancouver on a bad note between her and Oliver without knowing that he was working toward _her_.

He listened intently and then told her this _shit_ had gone on long enough and it was time for her to “_de-ass-ify”_ her head and bring both parts of her body back to Vancouver to fix things. He had gotten a call from Oliver later that day after two straight busted scenes. John had told his coworker and friend to make a simple phone call - which Oliver declined to do.

And when John had gotten a second phone call from Felicity that same day he rolled his eyes, shook his head and told her he was going to book her flight. _Did the phrase de-ass-ify mean ANYTHING to her? “Don’t make me come to New York. Me throwing you over my shoulder and strapping you down into an airplane seat is not something you want to experience.”_ Felicity was then convinced, 100 percent, to come home.

“You sure you wanna be in there by yourself when he comes off the set? He’s gonna be grumpy. I’m telling you, he’s not happy with himself. He’s missing you,” John offered.

Felicity nodded. “Then this is where I _should_ be. I need to see him as soon as I can. I need him and I need to tell _him _that.”

John returned her nod. The two of them walked toward Oliver’s Airstream and John easily talked the guard into unlocking the trailer. He stepped inside after Felicity and put a hand on her shoulder. “The two of you work through this, you hear me?” John instructed.

Felicity looked at him with anticipation, anxiousness and worry in her face. 

“You’ll be fine. You’ve worked through stuff before and this is small potatoes compared to what you went through the past few months. Don’t let him be an asshole,” their friend smiled slightly only because both of them knew that word really could describe an unhappy Oliver. “Call him on it. You want him and he wants you. He may want to be angry or pouting about the way this has come about, but _you_ remember he loves you. And you are here because you love him.”

Felicity stepped closer and wrapped her arms around John’s waist. “Does he?” She wondered honestly.

“Does he what?” John asked as she pressed her cheek against his chest and he enclosed her in his large arms.

“Love me,” Felicity whispered against his t-shirt.

John bent his neck and placed a kiss in her hair. “What kind of question is that?” He looked around a minute and then he pushed Felicity away slightly and pointed toward the shelves in the small living area. 

She stepped toward the shelves and looked at the pictures Oliver had put there. Three small photos in three small frames spoke quite loudly in their silence. One was a picture of Dali. One was a picture of Dali, Oliver and Felicity together. 

The third was a picture of Felicity in the play that she had just finished. She stepped a little closer. It was obviously a promotional picture that had been taken during one of the dress rehearsals. She had on a ratty t-shirt, her hair was mussed with part of it pulled into a ponytail on the top of her head. She had latex gloves on her hands holding a bottle of wine. 

She was in character for the play. Why on earth would he choose to frame this picture?

Felicity lifted the simple black frame off the shelf and turned around to look at John. She held it up and looked at him with questions in her eyes.

John pointed a finger at the picture. “He said he barely recognized you when he saw you walk onto the stage. Your hair was a different color, longer. He didn’t hear the first 10 minutes of the play because he was just staring at you. Said seeing you in person, after weeks apart...you were the most beautiful woman he had ever laid eyes on.”

The lump in her throat formed a little too quickly and her hands shook as she put the picture back on the shelf. She felt her lip quivering as she turned back to her friend and shrugged her shoulders.

Felicity recalled seeing Oliver in the audience at the end of the play and thinking practically the same thing. He hadn’t dressed up to attend the performance, he was just in a shirt and jeans but she had recognized his face immediately when she looked into the crowd and thought he was the most handsome man in the world.

“Does he love you?” John asked the question back to Felicity and she nodded shyly. “You alright here?” he dipped his chin and looked at her seriously.

Felicity smiled. “Yeah,” she answered simply and picked up the picture of herself with Oliver and Dali. “I’m good.” 

\-----

Nearly an hour later, when the key turned in the door, Felicity stood up. The last time she had been in this trailer, sitting on that couch, had been the day she told Oliver she wasn’t returning for season number 8.

Now here she was again. A lot had transpired between that conversation and this moment with the past few months classified as life altering, heart breaking, discovery-filled moments that re-shaped both of them.

Now was her time to convey all of that to him, if he would have her.

Oliver stepped into the trailer, eyes on the floor, head down. Felicity knew immediately what that meant. He wasn’t nailing his lines and the show recording wasn’t going like he wanted. _Just as John had said._

Her first thought was to soothe him, like she used to. A hug, a kiss, cuddles on the couch… she could rub her fingers through his short beard and give him a feeling of reassurance that it was just a bad patch and he would get through it.

On second thought, this time she probably shouldn’t immediately wrap him in her arms – or should she?

“Hi,” she opted to speak quietly before he got too much farther without realizing he had company.

Oliver’s head jerked up at the sound of her voice – _her _voice – and stopped in his tracks. His leather-clad superhero persona searched her eyes for just a split second before quickly taking the additional three steps that it took to reach her. In his full Archer outfit he wrapped his arms around her and picked her smaller body up from the ground as he buried his face into the crook of her neck.

“Felicity,” he breathed her name against her skin and placed soft kisses, welcoming the feel of her in his arms again.

She hesitantly but instinctively wrapped her arms around his shoulders easily pressing her fingers against the broad muscles and relishing the feeling of being in his arms. _God she had missed the feeling of being held by this man._

He lowered her feet back to the floor but didn’t relinquish his hold. Nor did he remove his face from the spot where he felt completely at home. She, too, held her stance. Even in this what-should-be-awkward moment, neither was anywhere near ready to let go.

But after another minute, Oliver took a long, shaky, deep breath, raised his head and stepped back. Felicity looked into his eyes filled with uncertainty and waited.

Oliver again took a breath and held it. He crossed his arms over his chest and did his best to forget her scent that was once again invading his mind. He looked down at the floor just to break her gaze and spread his feet apart on the trailer floor to steady and brace himself.

When he looked back at her face she knew he had gone into ‘actor’ mode and was waiting to see what she said, trying not to give away his true feelings. “What are you doing here?” He finally asked with an appearance saying he really wasn’t sure he wanted to know.

Felicity held his gaze. She wasn’t smiling; she wasn’t crying – although the streaks on her cheeks told him she had been; she looked almost stoic standing there with arms at her side, her thumbs flicking at her short fingernails on both hands.

This was it and she knew it. This was the point where she needed to bare her soul to him if she wanted her life to truly continue. It was time to tell him the truth and find out if there was still a chance...for _them._

She licked the dryness from her lips and took a deep breath. She took a large step toward him but didn’t reach her hands to him. Instead she stood up straighter and matched his feet-spread-for stability stance. Felicity turned her chin upwards to make sure they were seeing eye to eye. She squinted slightly and opened her mouth to speak.

“I’ve come to a conclusion that will affect both of our lives,” she began.

Oliver’s voice dropped an octave as they stared, unsmiling, at each other. “And that is?” He waited.

Felicity blinked and sucked in a shaky breath. “I want to come back,” she hesitated for just a second. “I want to be in the series finale, with you,” she enunciated each syllable carefully. “I want Overwatch and Archer and their happily ever after.”

She stalled again, a short but pregnant pause before continuing, “And,” she looked at his fingers, curled into fists on his crossed arms across his chest. She took the chance reaching both of her hands to his exposed forearm and gripped tightly. “I want _you_. I want Dali. I want…” she breathed in again, holding her lips open as she formed her thought, “…us.”

\-----

Oliver’s eyes widened at her words. He was stunned to see her there to say the least. To hear her saying _what he thought _she had just said had him absolutely stupefied.

He stared. He wanted to ask her to say it again, but if he had misheard her… All he could do was look at her. His mind said it was rude. His heart was telling him to make sure - in some way - that he had heard correctly.

Felicity’s face was far from blank. She looked like she wanted to cry. But she also held a look of hope that Oliver had felt like he had seen. It was the look she had worn when their eyes met in that New York playhouse. It was the look he had seen in the days after her surgery when it was just the two of them together. 

It was hope for the future.

“I’m sorry,” Oliver found the words coming from his mouth involuntarily.

Felicity looked slightly shocked when he spoke. Her hands slid slowly from his arm. Her eyes dropped to the floor and she stepped back, her heart unsure if it should keep beating or not. As it felt like her whole body was seizing with his supposed answer, she responded with a choked, “Ok.” It was all she could push out, the only thing she could think of, not sure why he was apologizing.

Oliver tensed at the loss of contact and suddenly realized how his words sounded. He reached for her fingers with one hand and her chin with the other. “No, Felicity, I mean...I’m... sorry, I want to make sure I heard you correctly. Could you please say that again?” He ducked down to try and regain eye contact.

When she looked back at him tears were joining her look that grew hopeful again. 

Felicity swallowed her fears and found herself gripping his index finger like a little child. “I love you. After my surgery, I walked. That was wrong. It was...more than wrong. And I’m sorry. Ray and Sara...and John...they told me I screwed up,” she nodded, “and they were right. I know that now.”

“No!” Oliver shook his head. “No, you _weren’t _wrong. You had every right to walk. I didn’t give you any real reason - I should’ve told you - did _they _tell you...Laurel and I… the divorce… it’s done, Felicity. I’m not married anymore.” He didn’t smile as he said it and Felicity didn’t either. 

While it opened the door for them, it wasn’t something that either of them wanted to be happy about. It was a chapter of his life ending; but one that would live with him and them for the rest of their lives.

Felicity moved her hand until she could fully connect it with his. She put her other hand in his as well and squeezed their fingers and palms together. The two of them looked at each other for another moment.

“I love you and I want us to be together,” Felicity stated. “If you still want me,” she questioned slightly, “I want you and Dali and I just want us to be together.”

Oliver breathed out almost a laugh. “_If_? _If I want you?” _he dislodged their hands and put both of his palms on her cheeks, spreading his fingers toward her eyes, her ears and her lips. He held her face solidly as he bent his lips to hers. 

He connected their mouths as she laughed gently through her emotions and then found her arms weaving around his neck instinctively. Their kiss was a welcome feeling for both of them. It reconnected them on an emotional level that brought both of their roller coasters back into the station and merged onto one track.

They both pulled back mere centimeters and laughed together. 

“Is that a ‘yes’?” Felicity wondered as she found her fingers running through Oliver’s short beard that was beginning to grow out again.

“Don’t you ever leave me again like that,” Oliver looked deeply into her eyes. “My world, Felicity, revolves around you and Dali. I love you both more than life itself.”

She smiled shyly. “I know that, now. Thank you for showing me what love is. I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to _get_ it.”

Oliver chuckled. “So you and me?”

Felicity nodded and put her hands on the back of his head to pull him into another kiss. “You and me,” she whispered against his lips before they connected again.

\----

A half hour later they both recognized the knock on the door. They were still standing in the middle of the trailer, kissing, whispering and holding onto one another. Felicity nor Oliver even moved an inch when John automatically opened the door and walked in.

Their muscular friend crossed his arms over his chest and smiled. “Well, at least the two of you still have clothes on. I had a bet running with Andy.”

“Were you just gonna walk in on us thinking we were naked?” Oliver berated their friend as Felicity grinned, “Damn pervert.” Oliver kept his arms wrapped around her waist and Felicity didn’t flinch from her posture with arms linked comfortably around Oliver’s neck.

“Lock the damn door,” John muttered. “Nothing I haven’t seen before. Haven’t we had this same conversation? Deja vu...” John noted that neither of them was letting go of the other.

Oliver bent his head and kissed Felicity again. Obviously John’s presence meant nothing in the realm of changing what they were currently doing.

John stepped around them to Oliver’s mini fridge which he opened, took a bottle of water and unscrewed the lid. He took a drink and did his best to look at Oliver and Felicity without smiling. The sight of them together like this was one that made John quite content but he couldn’t let Oliver know that.

“We were thinking, Queen, you might join us for, I don’t know, maybe a couple more scenes today? We do have about three more hours of work to do,” John re-informed Oliver.

Oliver shook his head. “Uh-uh, I’m done for the day,” he grinned at Felicity who was nibbling on her bottom lip waiting for him to kiss her again. So he did.

John rolled his eyes.

Felicity played with the hair at the back of his neck and tilted her head slightly as they continued to look at each other. “Go,” she smiled. 

“Where are you gonna be?” Oliver asked softly. 

Felicity smiled wider. “With you,” she pecked his lips, unable to wipe the smile off her face. “If that’s okay?” she requested.

Oliver looked at her. “You sure?”

Felicity nodded. “I probably need to talk to the bosses to see if they can fit me into the finale,” she commented and raised her eyebrows as she thought seriously about that request.

Oliver shook his head, “Fit you in? Are you kidding me? I want you in every scene with me. No questions asked.” Oliver slid his hands to her waist as Felicity gave him a ‘don’t be silly’ type look.

“Yo!” John looked at the two of them. “Can we figure this out after shooting today? I assume you’re sticking around Short-stuff?” He looked at Felicity. 

She practically nestled herself against Oliver’s chest with his arms wrapped around her and nodded.

John shook his head. “Then let’s go Archer-man. She can hang out in the studio while you nail your lines. I’m bettin’ you’ll wrap these next two scenes up quicker than anything else you’ve done so far this season.”

“Hey!” Oliver looked at his dark-skinned friend. “I resemble that remark,” he smirked and left another kiss against Felicity’s forehead.

“You sure you don’t mind hanging around?” Oliver asked. 

Felicity smiled at him. “Ray dropped me off. I’m kinda stuck here. And…” she hesitated and looked around, “he took my bags with him.” She thought for a moment. “I’m not sure I have any clothes…”

John placed a hand on his forehead. Oliver grinned at her and kissed her ear. “I love you Lici,” he glanced at John and then pointed his face toward her ear. “With or without clothes,” he whispered.

Felicity shivered against his breath and let her head fall toward his lips as he placed another kiss on her temple. “Mmm, counting on it.”

“Alright already,” John took that as his cue to open the trailer door and let the happy couple step out onto the sidewalk together. Oliver took Felicity’s hand in his openly. She practically plastered the front of her body against the length of his arm as she weaved her fingers with his and swore she wouldn’t let go.

The smiles on both of their faces were some of the biggest the cast and crew had ever seen as they walked onto the soundstage. 

Felicity went straight to the chair that had Oliver’s name on it and proudly sat down. He happily bent over her and kissed her soundly before he turned toward the set. “You’ll be here when I get back, right?” Oliver asked her with a bit of seriousness in his question.

Felicity nodded at him, “You’re stuck with me now.”

Oliver grinned and grazed his top teeth over his bottom lip. He took a step backwards away from her and his grin turned to a bit more heated gaze. “I wanna be stuck _to_ you,” he wagged his eyebrows at her.

She pointed an index finger at him. “Behave,” Felicity watched him pout jokingly. “That comes later…”

Both of them blushed, laughed at their intentional faux pas and then began to think about _later_.

John was right. The crew had set aside three hours to film the next two scenes because of the difficulties Oliver had been having. With Felicity back in his life, on the set and watching his every move, their lead actor quickly regained his focus and purpose. 75 minutes later the scenes were completed.

Felicity and Oliver both hugged John and blushed as he sent them off with a rousing “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do…” instruction.

\-----

As the two left the studio Oliver looked at his phone and smiled at the text he received. He showed it to Felicity who rolled her eyes.

“My God, you two are _still _texting each other? What the hell?” She looked at Oliver and laughed this time. “You know I almost killed Ray in Portugal because you two _besties _were sending each other love notes?” She gave him a slightly serious look as they climbed into Oliver’s car.

Before Oliver could give her any response, they sat down in the seats and Felicity actually looked at the note from Ray. 

_Left Lici’s luggage at your place. Assumed that’s where you’d be heading._

She reached across the console and put her hand on Oliver’s thigh as he started the vehicle and backed out of the parking space. 

As soon as he could, he put his hand over top of hers and raised it to his lips. “Is that okay? You’re clothes at my apartment, I mean?” He was happy to see Felicity nod without any hesitation. “Do you regret Ray calling me – when you were in Portugal?” He wondered with another glance toward her as he drove with one hand and held hers with his other.

“No,” she shook her head and answered without any hesitation. “I’m grateful he called. I’m grateful you came to me and I’m grateful for everything that’s happened since then.”

“Everything?” Oliver wondered with their two months of separation still fresh on his mind.

Felicity nodded. “Everything. Even the misunderstanding and the lack of communication. It’s lessons learned. We have to remember this down the road, when we both…” she hesitated, thinking of how she wanted to say what she was thinking.

Oliver chuckled. “Go ahead, say it like John would… when we both find a way to stick our heads back in our asses. I know I’m more prone to do that than you are but I can pretty much guarantee it’s gonna happen to both of us.”

Felicity acted slightly put-off but then swayed her head back and forth and nodded in agreement. She took the next few seconds to stretch her arms and legs. She wanted to talk to him about so much, but another part of her just wanted to be wrapped up in his arms.

“Are you tired?” Oliver asked, reaching for her hand again.

“I guess I am,” she leaned her head back against the seat. “My adrenaline rush is wearing off.”

Oliver let go of her hand just long enough to reach up and rub her cheek with his index finger. “When we get home, you lie down and take a nap. I’ll hop in the shower then fix us some dinner. Deal?”

Felicity nodded. That sounded like pure heaven.

* * *

**What If – Chapter 25**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 26 Tease:  
Felicity held Oliver's hands in hers and watched her own fingers as they swiped across his knuckles. “I have fought the idea of truly loving you until the last few months. The idea of loving you, needing you, terrified me. Don’t get me wrong, when I told you I loved you years ago, I meant it. And it’s been growing all that time. It scared me...it still scares me. But the past year I have really been thinking about love and us, and my heart’s been fighting it. The thought of fighting for you and us being together… I wasn’t sure I was prepared for that.”


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reconnecting, redefining a commitment and finding again the communication and love that has been building for nearly a decade.
> 
> Warning: This chapter contains sexual content.
> 
> Welcome back to Vancouver...

** **

**Curved Reality**

**What If – Chapter 26**

* * *

When they got to the apartment complex Oliver stopped at the office and picked up Felicity’s luggage. He grinned as she grabbed for the larger suitcase to wheel it into his first-floor apartment. Oliver immediately took it from her and grabbed the smaller case as well.

Felicity gave him an _I’m-not-helpless_ look and he just shook his head and took both pieces of luggage toward his door. Felicity followed behind him and nearly ran into his tree-trunk of a body when he stopped right in front of her and sat her suitcases down. 

With a grin, Oliver unlocked the door and then turned to look at her. “This is the first time… I mean we didn’t _really _hide anything, did we? But, this is the first time you and I can be here, together, without any doubts or concerns, right?”

Felicity listened to him and nodded. She scrunched her eyebrows wondering what he was waiting on.

Oliver finally opened the door, but before he even attempted to grab her luggage he stepped back and scooped Felicity up in his arms. She squealed with a laugh and smacked his shoulder. “What are you doing?”

Oliver smiled at her. “I’m carrying you across the threshold,” he carefully maneuvered them through the door and began laughing as he sat her down inside the apartment.

“We aren’t married, you idiot,” Felicity laughed along with him. 

The two stood and looked at each other for a moment with her words running through them a bit thoughtfully. Both let it drop, except for their smiling faces, before Oliver went back and grabbed her suitcases. He closed the door behind them and took her things into his bedroom.

Felicity followed behind him and stood leaning against the bedroom door as he pushed her larger luggage to the foot of the bed and tossed her smaller one onto the mattress. “Are we okay?”

Oliver looked at her and stepped toward her with a smile. “You came back to me,” he used his fingertips to push her hair behind her ear. “Your mom - when you were having your biopsy - Donna told me I had to let you go. That’s one reason I didn’t fight harder, I guess. She said if I loved you, I had to let you go to New York. And, if we were meant to be you’d come back. I know I love you. I’m guessing you love me…because you’re back.”

“I didn’t want to, you know?” Felicity pushed off the doorframe and reached up to take his hand. “To truly fall in love with you, that is.” She pulled him over to the bed, pushed the suitcase farther over and sat down. Oliver stood in front of her wondering what she meant.

She held his hands in hers and watched her own fingers as they swiped across his knuckles. “I have fought the idea of truly loving you until the last few months. The idea of _loving _you, _needing _you, terrified me. Don’t get me wrong, when I told you I loved you years ago, I meant it. And it’s been growing all that time. It scared me...it still scares me. But the past year, with all the crap with Laurel and my part on the show wrapping up, I have really been thinking about _love _and _us_, and my heart’s been fighting it. The thought of fighting for you and us being together - being... _a family_… I wasn’t sure I was prepared for that.”

Felicity took a breath and looked up to his face. “But I’ve had a lot of time to think the last couple of months. I realized you…” she breathed in deeply and looked into his eyes as she poked a finger into his chest, “you…” she shrugged her shoulders, smiled at him and breathed again. “You just had to come to Portugal and then to my doctor’s appointment and then you just had to stay with me and show me how you loved me. I realized I _wanted _that. I wanted somebody to love me and take care of me and that someone, Oliver...I want _you_. And I think I’m ready to love you now, the way you deserve to be loved.”

Oliver knelt down in front of her. “You were mad the day you sent me away. I knew you were hurt, but you were furious...enough that you didn’t want to see me, or talk to me…”

“I was scared,” Felicity interrupted him. “You realize you didn’t help me, right? Getting upset about me wanting to go on to New York. It was like all of the support you had given me for months was just gone. And...and not telling me about your attorney and his wife - how is she? Do you know?” Felicity wondered, easily getting herself off topic.

Oliver nodded at her. “She’s doing okay. Still taking treatments, but she is cancer free. Mr. Arnold told me I should’ve talked to you about the situation.”

“He’s right,” Felicity put her hands on his cheeks. “It would’ve made a difference. But I probably would’ve found some other excuse to shut you out for a while. I’m sorry. I needed to look at us and our whole situation from the outside, I guess. That’s not what New York was _supposed _to be for me, but that’s what it turned into.”

Oliver shook his head. “Are you scared now?”

“Yes and no.” She said with confusion.

“Are you looking for an excuse to leave me again?”

“No,” Felicity voiced with more resolution looking directly into his glittering blue eyes.

“Do you love me?” He asked as grins began forming on both of their faces once more. “Don’t you dare say ‘no’ to this one,” he warned her.

Felicity laughed. “Yes,” she hesitated. “Is that the right answer?”

Oliver leaned forward and kissed her lips. “Yes,” he kissed her again.

“I’ve missed you,” Felicity added as their foreheads met and they simply connected.

“Well you obviously know that I’ve missed you. If John didn’t make that clear, the 15 other people who mentioned it at the studio just might have made the point,” Oliver rolled his eyes and shook his head.

Felicity laughed and then inadvertently, she yawned. 

Oliver immediately stood up and pointed toward the pillows on her side of the bed.

“That’s enough of all this deep stuff for now. Lay down, go to sleep and I’m gonna shower and fix dinner,” he waited until she slid herself up on the bed.

“I need to change clothes,” Felicity spoke as he lifted up the comforter and told her to slide under the covers. 

Oliver took a few steps to the closet, took out a shirt and brought it back to her.

Felicity pouted slightly. “I have my own jammies,” she looked at the suitcase on the bed but Oliver didn’t make a move other than holding out his collared, button up shirt. “I like your t-shirts better,” she admitted, still questioning his choice.

Oliver tossed the shirt onto her legs that were now stretched under the covers. “Will you just put that on and take a nap. I’ll be as quiet as I can be, alright? You rest.”

Felicity sighed, realizing she wasn’t going to get her way on this topic for the moment. She figured she would try again when he came to bed later that night. 

Oliver had a similar plan in mind, making her put on the button-up shirt now...hoping he could take it off of her when he came to bed later that night.

“I love you,” he bent over her and kissed her again before retrieving his own clothes and heading toward the bathroom.

“Oliver?” Felicity called out to him as he began removing his sweaty shirt before actually being inside the smaller room. When he looked back at her she smiled. “I love you too. It’s nice to be home.”

\-----

When Oliver emerged from the shower he found Felicity sitting on the side of the bed wearing the shirt he had given her. She had moved her suitcase off the bed and pushed both of them into the closet.

“You’re supposed to be asleep,” Oliver admonished her and Felicity just looked at him. 

She had left the first three buttons of his shirt unbuttoned. Her legs were bare under the shirt that came down to her mid thigh. Oliver knew exactly what he was doing when he gave her the garment. She looked damn sexy sitting on his bed, in his shirt in his apartment...the woman he loved.

Felicity admired his body as well, a pair of athletic shorts hanging low on his hips. He was shirtless, showing off the chest and rippling muscles that pointed down below his waist.

“Shirtless, all the time,” she commented, licked her lips and smiled.

Oliver had a t-shirt in his hand. “Oh, do you want me to -” He started to pull the shirt onto his body but Felicity protested.

“No!” she drug her eyes up his torso and reluctantly met his gaze.

Oliver stepped toward her and found himself nestling his knees between her legs as he looked down at her face. He bent his head without saying another word and kissed her softly.

Felicity hummed, enjoying having him there, right in front of her.

She placed her hands on his biceps and began kneading his muscles as she stretched her neck, wanting him to continue kissing her.

“The first night after I made you leave, I cried myself to sleep,” she admitted as he pulled away but left his hand resting on her cheek. “I had gotten so used to having you in the bed beside me...I pulled your pillow over next to me and cried. Then I got mad at myself for missing you. I sent you away, for God’s sake. But my heart hurt.”

Oliver knelt down in front of her, putting both knees on the floor to keep himself steady. “You could have called me.”

“I know. I could’ve. But if I had done that I would’ve been even more mad at myself. I’m supposed to be independent, yeah? I don’t need someone, man or woman, to take care of me,” Felicity put one hand on his cheek and wondered why she was trying to explain this to him.

“Yes you do,” Oliver commented calmly with a soft smile. “It’s not that you _can’t _take care of yourself, Lis. Of course you can take care of yourself. You’re a perfectly capable woman with a damn successful career. But you need someone to share your heart with. We all do.” Oliver put his finger tips over top of her heart. “I need that, too.”

Felicity nodded with closed eyes, her cheek resting against his palm. “There really is a difference, isn’t there. I get that now. After the fibroadenoma,” she now said the word with ease, “I went back through every doctor’s appointment and every test that I went through and I remember the stress and worry. If you hadn’t been here for me, Oliver, you knew I couldn’t do it by myself. If it had been more than that lump and if I was facing it by myself…”

“That’s just it, Felicity,” he placed a hand on her bare thigh and looked up into her eyes with a smile on his face. “You didn’t face it by yourself. And you don’t have to. You let me in. That’s all I want, is for you to let me in. I want you to be part of my world and I want to be part of yours. I’m gonna do my damndest to support you in whatever you want to do. I don’t want to hold you back. But when the lumps arise, I want to be right here.”

She swallowed the lump in her throat, easily showing him the tears that were beginning to cover her eyes.

“I want to do that for you, too,” Felicity put her hands on his neck and ran her thumbs through the beard that squared around his throat. “We have a lot of changes coming up. Is this the point where I can say I’m scared, but I believe we can work through them together?”

Oliver nodded and smiled. He knew those words were probably some of the hardest she had ever chosen to say. And he agreed with her. Their future was completely up in the air but he was quite sure they could face it together.

When they kissed again it quickly moved from soft and reassuring to a couple who wanted each other after far too much time apart.

Oliver started by unbuttoning the shirt that covered her body and sliding it off her shoulders. He let a chuckle come through his nose as he encountered her bra.

Felicity smiled and ran her teeth over her bottom lip. “Doctor’s orders…”

Oliver ran his fingers around the outline of her undergarment then sat up higher on his haunches and began following the same trail with his lips. The hum of contentment that he heard and felt coming from her throat was one of the most welcome sounds to ever hit his ears.

He pulled back and looked with wonder at her relaxed features. Felicity opened her heavy lids and shared his gaze.

“I do remember,” she spoke with a slightly strained voice, “after my surgery, you put my bra _on _me. I was out of it, I know. But I remember your arms around me, supporting me, holding me up. I didn’t care where we were. I just knew I wanted you to hold me for the rest of my life.”

Her words brought Oliver’s lips to hers with a kiss that told her he would do everything in his power to make that happen. 

He wrapped his arms around her and unhooked the soft material that was covering her chest. When he pulled the straps off her arms and uncovered her, he first looked at the scar that sat on her breast. He ran his finger over it so softly that she barely reacted.

Felicity watched as his lips again followed his fingers. The sight of him appreciating her scar was an emotional moment that took Felicity by surprise. She felt his kisses, his touch in her heart and all the way through her body. She was amazed at just how aroused she was by his gentle touch and the memories that flared as he reminded her of the care he had provided.

She didn’t wait long to place her small hands on his shoulders, begging him to join her in the bed. And when he did Felicity used all her patience to slowly undress him. His hardness made her gasp, wrapping her fingers around him, guiding him to the heat he had induced in her.

“I love you,” Felicity stated directly into his ear as Oliver slowly pushed himself into her.

He moved his head and attached their lips once more when he understood her words to be a promise for their future. “And I love you,” Oliver responded with all the love in his heart.

Both knew it was time to let go of all the ‘what if’s’ of the past. As their bodies easily began meeting in the familiar intimate dance, they made love for the first time with both as one, only their future ahead.

* * *

**What If – Chapter 26**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry...no Chapter 27 Tease... the next chapter is the final one in this story, the epilogue.
> 
> If you're enjoyed the journey please take a moment to let me know your thoughts.
> 
> Thank you for reading!  
#OlicityOnRepeatForever  
-adcg <3 --->


	27. Chapter 27 - Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Curved Reality: What If - Epilogue
> 
> Across the continent, at the Mouse House, Orlando, Florida...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I get ready to post this final chapter, I'm not really sure what to say other than thank you- and there's more of that in the end notes. (And thank you to a lady named Suzie - I think that's your name...- for the ideas and oomph to put this epilogue into words!)
> 
> I'm practically giddy to have posted the end of this story the same weekend that Stephen announced Emily's return for the Arrow finale! My smile still hasn't gone away.
> 
> I am an Olicity fan and will continue to be. I also admit I'm a Stemily fan who can see what their friendship has brought to their characters and how that affected and infected (in a good way) the entire show. I truly hope they will work together again someday!
> 
> Now, after all that...I could write a whole other novel if I happened to keep up with my daily Olicity/Stemily thoughts...I hope you'll enjoy this final chapter.

** **

**Curved Reality:**

**What If – Chapter 27 – Epilogue**

* * *

** _Two Years Later_ **

The words ‘worn out’ didn’t even begin to describe how Felicity felt at 2AM. In years past when she had taken a couple of months off work she had traveled to all areas of the globe. Little did she know that planning an 8-year-old’s birthday could take just as long and require more work than traveling to the ends of the earth.

Children’s party planning certainly wasn’t in her repertoire, but the day that seven-and-a-half year old Dali Queen asked her to take charge, she couldn’t say ‘no’. And so it began.

Six months later, there they were at Disney World in a suite at the Contemporary Resort Vacation Club with four of Dallas’s best friends and their families just down the hall. Laurel and Sara had opted to stay around the monorail line at the Grand Floridian - close enough to be in on the festivities and yet far enough away to keep things comfortable between the two portions of the birthday girl’s family.

Dali had asked for a princess birthday theme...a Disney princess birthday theme...with real Disney princesses. When Felicity had mentioned that the best place to find the real princesses was _at_ Disney World, Dallas jumped on the idea of having her party across the continent, on the complete opposite corner of the country.

Felicity had bit her tongue. When Oliver got home from work that night and Dali informed him of her birthday plans he attempted to talk her down. The then-seven-year-old countered with _“But it was Lis-ty’s idea,” _which drew a bit of a glare from Oliver and a sigh of concession from the stepmother who had more than an amazing bond with his daughter.

And, when the idea was proposed to Dali’s real mom, Laurel rolled her eyes. Oliver never would have fallen for an idea like this when they were married. Shelling out the cash for nearly 20 people to go to Florida and stay at a mouse-themed resort for an 8-year-old’s birthday? 

_“What the hell, why not,” _had been her response. 

While they shared custody, all had found that Dali living with Oliver and Felicity made for a happier situation all the way around. Laurel loved her daughter but was also finding that she loved her independence too.   
  
Much to Felicity’s surprise, she had discovered a bit of a maternal instinct inside herself as she spent more time around Oliver’s daughter. The idea of being a ‘mom’ still terrified her. But with Dali calling her ‘Mama Llama’ or the cute little ‘Lis-ty’ that Dal had first sputtered as a 3-year-old, she was slipping into a mothering role much more easily than she ever imagined.

That was why, with Laurel’s blessing, of sorts, Felicity didn’t back down from planning her stepdaughter’s party.

And, the ultimate princess party had been a success the evening before at Cinderella’s castle, with Cinderella herself in attendance. Laurel and Sara had taken Dali to the salon in Downtown Disney where the little girl had gotten a complete pink princess makeover. Her hair was styled, her princess dress was fluffed and her nails were perfectly manicured for the party at the castle. 

Dali and her friends had been in awe from the moment they walked into the dining room where an area had been cordoned off just for them. As they were seated, several other princesses made appearances to take pictures with the girls and their families. Felicity and Oliver joined Dali for a couple of photos while Laurel jumped in on a few others. 

More than anything, Felicity simply stood back with tears in her eyes watching _her_ little girl have the time of her life.

As Dallas opened presents from her parents, her friends, and even one from Cinderella, Oliver stood behind Felicity, his arms wrapped around her waist, his cheek against her temple.

“You did this,” he spoke against her ear.

“With your credit card,” Felicity laughed, trying to make light of his sincere words.

“You know what I mean, Lis,” Oliver placed a kiss against her cheekbone. “You could’ve told Dali ‘no’. You know it’s as simple as that.”

“You could’ve said ‘no’,” Felicity countered.

“Psh!” He chuckled. “With you saying ‘yes’ to this? There was no way I could deny her and you know it. If you were up for planning and making this happen... I’ll never win against the two of you.”

Felicity laughed as he squeezed her waist a bit tighter. She squirmed in his hold and placed her hands over his, just over her belly button, when he finally loosened his grip once more. She looked down at their hands, their fingers woven together and she smiled.

Their bubble was only invaded when the little princess came clacking toward them in her high heels and wrapped her arms around Felicity’s waist, under her father’s hug.

“Thank you Mama Llama!” Dali peered up at Felicity and smiled one of the widest grins Felicity had ever seen on her. 

“You’re welcome Little Llama,” Felicity stated simply. She let Oliver pick up his daughter and then hugged them both as the photographer snapped several shots of their family embrace.

Dali soon got down and went back to her friends leaving Oliver holding Felicity once again. 

An hour later they headed back to their suite, taking the long way around the monorail line which gave Dali a chance to fall asleep in Oliver’s lap and Felicity the chance to lean her head against her husband’s shoulder and gladly accept his kisses on her forehead and lips.

“You’re amazing,” he still couldn’t get over the planning she had put into a birthday party for _his_ daughter. Oliver knew Felicity loved Dali like her own but he hadn’t dreamed that in just a couple of years of them truly being together that she would step this far into the role.

His appreciation was the full reason, after putting Dallas to sleep in her room at midnight, that Oliver used the next two hours showing his wife just how much he loved her and adored her for all that she did...for both Dali and him.

And Oliver’s lovemaking was the reason, at 2AM, that Felicity was fully worn out and sated and didn’t care that both of them fell asleep naked, with their bedroom door unlocked.

\-----

The following day was supposed to be a little less exciting. Laurel was again taking Dali and they were heading into one of the parks. Oliver was going to drop their daughter off at his ex-wife’s hotel and then meet a couple of the dad’s for a round of golf.

Felicity had laughed at that when they made the plans. Oliver and golf didn’t seem to fit, other than he liked Tiger Woods and sometimes watched The Masters tournament. He had used his growly voice to let her know, in a pout, that he was a decent golfer he just didn’t get the time to play as much as he would like.

She had held her next round of laughter and pressed her lips together as she nodded her head in agreement.

She, after all the party planning and brilliant execution, was going to do...nothing. The only thing Felicity had put on today’s agenda - at least until Oliver and Dali got back - was to put some of her Polaroid snapshots into the little Disney photo book that she had bought in the Magic Kingdom the first day they ventured onto Main Street, USA. 

The nostalgic woman, now in her 30’s, had a collection of mini photo albums full of the Polaroid shots that recorded some special, sentimental moments. She was pretty sure Oliver was aware of her collection. But Felicity knew he wasn’t aware of many of the pictures she had put in them. 

She had a few random shots of him from their days on set together. There were others from time they had spent off set together. Numerous pictures had her with Ray and other friends, including the trip to England and Portugal.

There was one album that recalled her medical scare with the fibroadenoma. Pictures showed her with Oliver, Dali, Donna, Moira...she had even asked Oliver to take a shot of her before her surgery. And, there was the picture she had asked Dr. Evans to take of her scar at her first checkup. It seemed odd, but now that that line of puckered skin was so faint, she sometimes went back to that photo book and looked. It reminded her of uncertainty and fear, but mainly of love.

The next two albums covered the last two years. Those were stuffed with pictures of Felicity with Dali, shots of Felicity and Oliver taken by Dali and even a few of Ollie Llama who was still very prominent in their lives. He traveled with them everywhere.

But one was an album that she was being very particular about filling. It began with a simple picture of her and Oliver kissing. It had been taken at the Justice’s office when they were married. Felicity insisted on a simple off white knee-length dress and put Oliver in a navy blue suit with a white shirt and a matching navy tie. Dali wore a cute lace covered dress, John had joined them in white shirt and black slacks with a black tie but no jacket. Donna had been there as Felicity’s matron of honor. 

The ceremony was as simple as they could get. Once Felicity returned knowing Oliver’s divorce was final, they pretty much went into a married mode. Neither needed anything official, but for Dali’s sake it made life less complicated. 

Felicity planned to tuck away the picture of herself with Dali, Oliver and Cinderella to add to that special album. There was another non-Polaroid that she would also add, but that was a story yet to be told.

Those were the thoughts filling her dreams in addition to the special attention her husband had lavished on her in the wee hours of the morning. So although it was 8AM she had no idea and was not planning to pull herself out of bed although somewhere in her subconscious she heard Oliver’s alarm go off.

What she didn’t hear was the bedroom door opening, or the sneaky little feet that climbed up into the bed beside her carrying a certain stuffed llama.

Dali knelt next to her Mama Llama and used the stuffed animal to place kisses on Felicity’s cheek.

At first, Felicity used her fingers to swipe at the foreign feeling. After a second kiss she began mumbling, “Stop it Oliver. I wanna sleep.”

Dali grinned at her words. She took Ollie again and placed a bit of a stronger kiss against Felicity’s temple.

“Your beard feels really soft. Did you just get out of the shower?” Felicity’s voice was still sleepy and soft.

Dali almost giggled but held it in long enough to use the stuffed animal to brush another fake kiss around Felicity’s ear and then one more on the tip of her nose.

“Oliver, you know I want to sleep. Stop it,” she practically whined. “I’m not showering with you this morning. You need to take Dali to… Wait, why do you smell like berries?”

Felicity’s mind began waking up a little more than she wanted and then a little giggle caused her to actually open her eyes.

“Dallas! What are you… Where’s Dad?” Felicity fumbled the words together.

Dali pulled Ollie back against her chest and looked at her stepmother. “You shower with Daddy? Ewww!” She exclaimed.

“That’s not…” Felicity started to sit up and admonish her stepdaughter but then realized, thankfully, why she had the bed sheet pulled up to her chin.

“Hey, where’s your jammies?” Dallas, who was obviously fully awake and ready for the day, asked curiously.

Before Felicity could answer Dali continued her barrage of early morning questions with, “What’s that on your neck?”

The mother of the duo pulled the sheet a little farther up her body to make sure her naked breasts stayed covered, and tried to scoot away from the little girl while racking her brain for an explanation for the hickey that Oliver had obviously marked her with earlier.

“Well hi there!” Oliver wandered out of the bathroom with a towel around his waist and drops of water still dripping from his hair. He caught his daughter’s last question and looked on amusingly as Felicity gave him an obvious ‘fix this’ glare.

“Alright Little Llama,” he walked toward Dali and shook his head over her making his daughter squeal at the dripping water as though he was a dog shaking after a bath.

Once he had successfully gotten Dali’s attention he continued. “Quit badgering Mama Llama with questions! She was trying to sleep in this morning. You know she’s still trying to decompress after your party last night. Did you tell her ‘thank you,’ Little Miss?” Oliver grabbed his clothes and walked back into the bathroom to quickly dress.

Dali looked back at Felicity who had collected one of Oliver’s pillows and also pulled the comforter up to her chin. She knew she was still three shades of red, sitting naked under the covers with their little girl chatting comfortably beside her.

Taking her father’s advice, Dali climbed even closer to Felicity to give her a hug. Felicity tucked the covers into her armpits and accepted Dallas’s thanks. 

“You had fun, yeah?” Felicity asked her simply. 

“That was the best birthday party ever!” Dali’s eyes brightened again as she pulled away from her stepmom. “You got all the princesses to come to the party and we were in the castle and…”

“Dali,” Oliver came back out of the bathroom and sat down on the bed pulling her away from Felicity. Felicity smiled at the two of them. “Go get dressed and grab some cereal for breakfast. We gotta meet Mom in an hour alright and we gotta catch the monorail. That takes extra time you know.”

“Okay,” Dali pouted slightly. “Lis-ty come with me and Mom and Sara. We’re gonna go to Animal Kingdom. It’ll be fun.”

Felicity smiled at her gratefully. “Sweetie, you have fun with your mom. You know I need to just chill out here for a while. Me, you and Dad for dinner tonight though, right? Chef Mickey’s!”

Dali smiled. “Yeah, kay,” she agreed.

Oliver gave her a slurping kiss on the cheek and then sat her off the bed. They watched as Dali did as instructed and headed out of their room to get dressed and find breakfast.

Oliver leaned over and placed a hand on the pillow that Felicity had implanted over the comforter on her chest. He gave her a kiss on the lips and then pulled back slightly with a grin on his face.

“So...note to self...either get dressed after making love, or lock the door,” he said slowly and Felicity reached over to smack his shoulder.

“That was…” she shook her head and then had to laugh. She reached for the spot on her neck, “Did you seriously give me a hickey? Oliver!” She smacked him again making him laugh.

“How was I supposed to know she would pay attention to that?” He glanced at the mark he had left and reached out to run his finger over it, down her neck and across her collarbone.

Felicity clutched the pillow a little tighter keeping him from delving his digits farther down her nude body.

“Hellooo!” She lightly swatted at his hand. “Eight year old in the house _and_ door still not locked!”

Oliver laughed. “Sorry,” he apologized. “I really was planning to let you sleep. You’ve worked your ass off putting her party together and all the travel planning. You really didn’t have to do that, you know?”

Felicity nodded. “I know. But she asked me to do it. And we can, you know.”

“You’re spoiling her,” Oliver smiled softly.

“I know. But I want her to know that I love her because I do. You know that.” Felicity explained.

“She knows that too. She doesn’t need a princess party at Disney World to know you love her,” Oliver tilted his head looking in her eyes.

“I know,” Felicity whined slightly. “But she’s 8. It’s the perfect age. And who knows when we’ll get to come down here again. You’ve got new projects coming up. I’m gonna have…” she hesitated, “well who knows what I’ll get into when we get home.”

“I thought you had more with the production company,” Oliver questioned.

Felicity nodded. “Yeah,” she responded. “We just aren’t sure what’s next, yet.”

Oliver accepted her answer and leaned in to get another kiss from her.

Once again the bedroom door opened automatically and Dali quickly jumped onto the bed before their kiss completed.

“Dals, I think it’s time you start learning to knock on the door instead of just coming straight in,” Oliver scolded her gently.

“But it wasn’t locked. I checked first. Lis-ty said if it’s not locked I can come in. Right?”

Felicity looked at Dallas and then at Oliver. She remembered a night several months ago when a storm had frightened Dali. Oliver wasn’t home but Dali had come directly into the room and climbed into bed with her. It had startled Felicity, a smaller body snuggling up against her in the middle of the night. And, it had led to a conversation about knocking and being allowed to come into the bedroom in particular.

“Oops,” Felicity admitted. “We did talk about that, didn’t we?”

Dallas nodded. Oliver shook his head. 

“Let’s make a little addendum to that speech,” Felicity started and Dali questioned the word.

“Ah,” Felicity corrected herself. “An addendum is like an update. You make a little change to an agreement, get it?”

Dali thought for a moment and then nodded. “Mmm-kay, so what’s the den-dum?” she wondered.

“If Dad and I are in bed together, always knock,” Felicity glanced toward Oliver, put her hands over her mouth and then aimed her voice at Dali in a makeshift secret. “Sometimes he tries to wear my jammies and you don’t want to see that,” Felicity claimed.

“Hey!” Oliver looked at both of them. “That’s _our_ secret!” he played along with Felicity hoping Dali would buy it.

“Oh, that’s okay,” Dali accepted the bizarre explanation. “That’s better than when he sleeps with _no_ clothes on!” Her little head shook as her parent’s mouths both dropped open.

Neither of the adults was about to ask their daughter exactly when she had walked in on _that!_

\-----

Felicity was expecting two knocks on their door in the afternoon. She had ordered a special birthday gift for Dali that was supposed to be delivered around noon.

It arrived shortly after she decided to have a sandwich for lunch and then laughed at herself when she actually looked to see if mint chip ice cream might be on the room service menu. It was. That would be a bit of indulgence once Dali got back.

The new Mrs. Queen was a little nervous but quite happy when Laurel brought Dali back to their hotel suite around 3:00. Felicity had hoped to give Dali her present before Oliver got home.

Dali was excited to learn that her present was part of a surprise that Felicity was planning for Oliver. As Felicity talked to her about it Dali got more and more excited. She took the pink princess Mickey Mouse ears and put them on her head. 

“Mama Llama! How do I look?” She smiled back at Felicity with a grin almost as big as the one she had worn at her birthday party the night before.

Felicity grinned with her, “You look like Princess Mouse,” she laughed as Dali gave her a weird look but then laughed as well.

“Is there a Princess Mouse?” Dali asked and Felicity crinkled her eyebrows wondering truthfully about that.

Before she could come up with an answer they heard the door unlock and watched as Oliver walked in. 

“Daddy!” Dali called out before running to him asking to be picked up.

“Ugh!” Oliver grunted as she ran into him and he reached down to pick her up.

“How was golf?” Felicity laughed as he threw her a knowing look.

“The lunch and video games afterward were much better,” he admitted. “What time are dinner reservations?”

Felicity looked at the clock, “7:30. You want to shower and change before we go?”

Oliver nodded and sat Dali back on the ground. It was only 5:00 so they had plenty of time. He watched his daughter for a moment and then noticed the hat she was wearing.

“Dals?” Oliver stared momentarily until the girl turned around. “Is that a new set of Mickey ears?” he wondered.

“Uh-huh,” Dali looked directly at Felicity who was already more than proud of her stepdaughter. The little actress was playing her part in this surprise most perfectly.

Dallas turned back around, the back of her head facing her father who now stepped closer and squinted, trying to read the stitching on the back of the ears. 

“Lis-ty gave them to me. They are a _special_ birthday gift. Do you like them? She got some for you and her too!” Dali walked toward a gift bag that was on the floor next to the couch where Felicity was sitting.

Oliver glanced toward Felicity and then back at his daughter. “Dals come here,” he instructed. Dali did as she was asked and walked to her father. She left the bag in Felicity’s care. 

“Now turn around,” Oliver spun his finger in the air demonstrating what he wanted Dali to do. When she turned her back on him again Oliver put his hands on her shoulders and finally got the full effect of the message on the back side of Dali’s princess ears.

“Felicity?” his breath was a little quick as he looked toward his wife. “This says ‘Big Sis’.”

Felicity pressed her lips together, nodded and then reached into the bag and pulled out two pairs of traditional Mickey ears. She held one of them out to him.

Oliver quickly stepped toward her and took the souvenir. He opened it up and looked at the stitched personalization: “Dad x2”

“Okay,” he nodded and pointed at the other set of ears still in her lap. 

Dali ran over and climbed up on the couch beside Felicity. She put her hand over the final set of ears and looked at her dad.

“What d’ya think this one says?” her young eyes glittered, already knowing the answer.

Oliver didn’t answer. He just took the hat from his daughter, opened it up and sucked in a breath. 

“Mom,” he looked lovingly at Felicity. “Mom?” he questioned, needing her affirmation.

She nodded.

“Felicity! Yes?” he laughed as tears began fogging his eyes.

“Yes,” she answered as he leaned down and took her into his arms.

“Dali, close your eyes,” he glanced at his daughter with his instruction.

“Why, are you gonna kiss her?” Dali asked with a smile.

“Yes,” Oliver answered honestly.

“I’ve seen you kiss her before,” Dali defied.

“Would you rather go to your room right now?” Oliver asked, still holding Felicity in his embrace.”

“Nuh-uh,” Dali took her hand and covered her closed eyes.

Oliver immediately sat down beside his wife and took her face in his hands. “A baby? We’re pregnant?” He asked again just to make sure he was 100% clear.

“Yeah,” her eyes also held tears as she watched his enthusiastic reaction.

He pulled her face to his and pressed a soft kiss to her lips before pulling back only slightly and following up with a couple of gentle pecks. He immediately continued with an eager kiss that parted her lips, pressed his tongue against hers and begged her to give him more information...in a few minutes...once he was finished kissing her.

“Are you done yet?” the little voice interrupted making Felicity laugh.

Oliver pulled away reluctantly and held his forehead against hers as he asked, “When?”

“I’m about six weeks along,” Felicity smiled at him. “Are you happy, really?”

Oliver kissed her lips again. “Happy doesn’t even describe it. But are you? This – Lis, I know we talked about you having the birth control device removed and we haven’t used… I mean,” he hesitated only because Dali was sitting there with them.

“I saw Dr. Evans, you know, several months ago and had it taken out. She said it could be a year or more before we saw results. I...I didn’t think it would matter, I mean, timing wise. I didn’t think it would happen this quickly.” She shared.

Oliver laughed “I guess that’s my fault, huh?”

“You’re persistent and apparently you’re potent, too,” she laughed.

“So this is okay, you’re okay, I mean. You’re gonna be a mom!” Oliver’s excitement was hard to hide.

“Hey, I’m gonna be the big sister!” Dali finally opened her eyes and moved around to put herself back into the mix.

Oliver picked his daughter up and put her in his lap. He took Dali’s hand in his and reached over placing them both against Felicity’s belly. Felicity quickly covered their hands with hers. 

“Dali, you know I love you, right? Me and your dad love you very, very much,” Felicity held Dali’s eyes in her gaze as she spoke and Dali nodded at her. “That’s never gonna change. You’re the big sister in our family and this baby will be your little brother or sister and we’re going to love you both just as much as we possibly can.”

Dali nodded again and crawled out of Oliver’s lap and over to Felicity’s. She quickly put her hand back on Felicity’s tummy. “Can we get the baby its own llama?” she asked innocently. I don’t think I can share Ollie. Can Ollie still just be mine and yours Mama Llama?”

Felicity wrapped her arms around Dali and held her. “Yes my Little Llama. Ollie is mine and yours. You still have the videos that I sent you, right? Those are just me and you.”

“And Ray,” Dali added making Felicity and Oliver laugh.

“Maybe,” Oliver started, “We should go ahead and find a baby llama and you can make some videos for this little baby.”

Dali was excited by that idea. “I need to talk to Ollie about this, though. I don’t want him to be jealous.” She nodded, and Oliver recognized a little bit of Felicity coming out through Dali.

The little girl hugged Felicity again and then got off the couch and went to her room to find her favorite stuffed animal.

Oliver smiled at Felicity again. “When did you find out?” He wanted every bit of information that she had so far.

“Remember, about four weeks ago, I wasn’t feeling great. I was nauseous and tired?” she stood up off the couch and went toward her bag that was sitting on the kitchen counter.

“Yeah,” Oliver recalled. “You thought it was maybe the flu, but you had a flu shot.”

Felicity was slightly ashamed by what she wanted to tell him next, but he deserved to know. He told her he always wanted to know when she was scared.

“I got scared, Oliver, because my breasts were sore,” she kept her back turned to him as she tried to explain without reminding herself of the fear that had resurfaced. “I...for two or three days I did my self-breast exams because I expected to feel another lump…” her voice dropped off, his tell-tale sign that she needed his arms around her.

Oliver recognized it immediately and was behind her with his arms gently holding her in a split second. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I don’t know,” she admitted. “If I had felt a lump I would’ve been in your arms in a heartbeat. But I never did. You know, they were just sore and I was tired, and I started getting scared and wondering what was going on.”

“And?” Oliver wanted her to continue.

“I did call my mom,” Felicity turned in his arms and put her arms around his neck. “She asked me if I’d taken a pregnancy test.”

“And you thought she was nuts, didn’t you?” Oliver smiled. He loved his mother in law.

Felicity nodded. “I thought she was nuts and then I went out and bought four pregnancy tests and I took all four of them. And all four of them were positive,” she grinned.

“But you’ve been back to Dr. Evans. Your breasts, the fibroadenoma isn’t back, right?” He asked with a hint of worry.

Felicity shook her head and then reached back toward her bag for the item she wanted to show him. She took out the non-Polaroid picture she wanted to put in her special album. She handed Oliver the ultrasound picture that confirmed her pregnancy.

“See the little peanut shape, right there?” She pointed to the image on the glossy paper. “Dr. Evans says that’s our baby. And that lovely child is already making my boobs sore and giving me a nervous stomach. So yeah, I should be a great mom to this kid,” she smiled a little cautiously.

Oliver pointed toward Dallas’s room of the suite. “There’s a little girl in that room who will let you know that you’re a wonderful mom. And I’ve seen it. From the first time you spent time with Dali. You are going to be the most beautiful, amazing mom to Dali and our baby.”

Felicity laughed again as a couple of tears escaped her eyes. “Our baby,” she smiled and looked up at her husband.

It had been nearly a decade since she wandered into the green room to guest star on _his _show. He had been so kind to her that first day and insisted that she return again and again until _his _show became _theirs._ In the first couple of years Felicity Smoak had let herself wonder, ‘_What If’..._ in a lot of areas involving Oliver Queen.

Nine years later, she didn’t have to wonder ‘what if’ anymore.

* * *

**_The End_**

**What If – Chapter 27 - Epilogue**

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This wraps up the journey for this story. Thanks to all who have read, commented, encouraged and stuck with me as this story came together.
> 
> Much appreciation to Donna, Robin, Tori, Cher, Magda, Tina and many others who helped me figure out that I'm not completely crazy in my thoughts that led to this bit of reading material. I appreciate all of you for letting me put this out into digital land and for the support that it garnished.
> 
> Maybe someday there will be another 'What If' to tell. If so, I hope you will make sure I know about it! ;)
> 
> Thanks Again,  
#OlicityOnRepeatForever  
-adcg <3 --->

**Author's Note:**

> So what do you think? They have a lot of twists and turns coming up, but I'd love to hear/read your reactions. Your reviews feed my muse and believe me, I enjoy talking about this couple whenever possible!
> 
> Thanks for reading, I look forward to hearing from you!  
adcg


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